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  1. #1
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    I don't know how to do it.

    So a few months ago I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my lifestyle.
    I weighed nearly 270#. Nothing in my closet fit. I got winded walking up the one flight of stairs in my house.

    I've lost weight before, lots of it. I know how to diet. But it always came back. I've always been big. I imagined what my life would be like if I was thin and fit. In my teens, I told myself that I would not live my 20's as a fat guy. I had maybe 1 year of my 20's where I wasn't obese.

    Now I'm 30 years old, and I refuse to keep living my life the same way. I finally decided diet alone wasn't going to do the trick, and I needed to exercise. I can't tell you how much it is changing me. Once, I thought exercise was just painful and tedious. Now, I absolutely love it, and I'm always wanting to do more and more.

    Now, I'm 227#, I've lost nearly 40#, and I can tell my fitness level is improving. Riding my bike is the most fun I've ever had and I'm addicted.

    But I feel like I am FAILING! Despite all my weight training, and cycling, and swimming, etc. I can't stop smoking. I've tried the patches, and the gum, and I still smoke. I hate it. I'm embarrassed. I don't have health insurance, so I can't afford the prescription meds that are supposed to help. My spouse smokes and doesn't want to quit, which means they are always in the house.

    I'm at a loss, and I don't know what to do. Have any of you gone through this battle and won? How did you beat it?

  2. #2
    Senior Member CACycling's Avatar
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    I smoked from the time I was 17 till I was 45. At the heaviest, I was smoking over 3 packs of Camel unfiltered a day. I weened myself down to lights and leveled out at a couple of packs a week. Then, around Christmas a few years ago, I came down with a bad cold. I was off cigarettes for a couple of weeks. Having quit for over a year once before that, I knew that I had to make a choice. Smoking another cigarette would start it all over again. I just never let myself have the next smoke. It was really tough for a few weeks. It was hard for months. I missed them for over a year. Now, I still know I could pick it up at any time but I no longer want to do that to myself. It all comes down to not having that next smoke. Having a spouse that smokes will make it a lot harder but you CAN do it. Throw them out, don't buy or bum another smoke. Let your spouse know you will destroy any cigarette you find in the house. Then do that. Every day you make it through is one day of suffering you will never have to go through again unless you light up. Not pretty but neither is smoking.

    I quit a couple of year before I returned to cycling. I was over 250 lbs. when I started riding a bit less than 2 years ago and am below comfortably 220 now. It is still a struggle at times but I know if I ride, I will feel better and if I keep riding the weight will keep going away. Personally, I beleive that if you do it yourself, you can't blame any failure on anyone but yourself. The positive thing about that is that any success is all you. And you CAN do it! One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time, just take the next step and you will make it through.

  3. #3
    Mass Mover takingcontrol's Avatar
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    Cold turkey......twice first time was for 3 years when I started again I smoked just as much as b4 I quit. It has been 5 months since my last cigarette. I am a smoker it is like an alcoholic, You will always have the addiction. I just stay away from it. Your best bet would be to try and explain to your wife, ask her to smoke outside and to support your decision to quit. Make sure she doesn't enable you to backslide by giving you "just one" or "just a drag" there is no "just". Good luck

  4. #4
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by takingcontrol View Post
    Cold turkey......twice first time was for 3 years when I started again I smoked just as much as b4 I quit. It has been 5 months since my last cigarette. I am a smoker it is like an alcoholic, You will always have the addiction. I just stay away from it. Your best bet would be to try and explain to your wife, ask her to smoke outside and to support your decision to quit. Make sure she doesn't enable you to backslide by giving you "just one" or "just a drag" there is no "just". Good luck
    +1. Except the luck part. Luck has nothing to do with it. It's going to be tough for the OP, but he's a tough guy. I'm sure he can do it.

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    Want to see my mom's x-rays, taken the year before she died of lung cancer? That seemed to help my brother quit. She died at 53, and he'll be 60 in a couple of months.
    Actually I don't have much to add to this. My mom smoked from age 14 until she died, and my brother and sister both did for years. It disgusted me even when i was a kid--I can remember being 4 or 5 years old, getting in trouble for asking adults why they smoked when it smelled so bad. I was a teen-ager, and smoking was still cool, when the surgeon general's report came out, and I figured, "That's it--nobody will be dumb enough to keep doing it now."
    Wrong again.

  6. #6
    Senior Member timmythology's Avatar
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    First of all, Congratulations for taking the first step

    I used breathing techniques to fight the craving's. When I thought of smoking I would breath 3 secs in, 9 secs out. It helped to refocus my thoughts, and reduce the anxiety of withdrawal.
    The most harmful thing about smoking, imo. Is it reinforces short shallow breathing habits. Through the use of breathing exercises I was able to learn how to breath easier, which made me feel much better.

  7. #7
    Very Senior Member MikeR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The Historian View Post
    +1. Except the luck part. Luck has nothing to do with it. It's going to be tough for the OP, but he's a tough guy. I'm sure he can do it.
    +1 It is tough. You have to be tougher. I was about 30 when I finally quit for the last time. My wife was pregnant with our first. I didn't want my future kid being around smoke.

    I went Cold Turkey - It was the hardest thing I ever did. I could not do anything besides eat sleep and work for a month. When I came home from work I would just growl at my wife, lay down on the couch and wait for bed time while concentrating on not smoking.

    I'll tell you what helped me stick with it. I realized that since I quit a hundred times before, I went through that first day of withdrawal 100 times before. I knew that if I smoked another one, I would have to eventually go through the hell of the first day all over again. When I got to 2 days, that was 2 days of hell I did not want to repeat. The longer I went the more incentive I had to stick with it.

    I really suffered for about 1 month even though it got a little better each day. I dreamed about smoking for a year. It's been 28 years but I would never put a cigarette to my mouth for fear of being hooked all over again.

    You can do it. Avoid other smokers (get your wife to stay away when she smokes), keep her cigarettes away from you, and take it one day at a time - even one hour at a time. Remember, if that last hour was hell and then you smoke, well, you will have to go through that same hour all over again sooner or later. If you go for 3 weeks (for example) and you smoke 'just one' you are back to square one! Your withdrawal is back to the strength of the first day and you will have to relive all that hell again.
    Last edited by MikeR; 07-18-09 at 06:07 PM.
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  8. #8
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by MikeR View Post
    You can do it. Avoid other smokers (get your wife to stay away when she smokes), keep her cigarettes away from you, and take it one day at a time - even one hour at a time.
    I missed the OP's comment about his wife sucking on coffin nails. That is going to be a BIG problem, I reckon. She'll have to agree to not smoke in the house.

  9. #9
    Senior Member nwmtnbkr's Avatar
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    First of all don't feel discouraged. We all hopefully have an epiphany that gets us motivated to change our lifestyles (diets alone won't help you keep the weight off permanently). I had mine 6 years ago. I felt terrible and was grossly obese. I had to make an honest evaluation of myself and my lifestyle and I began my odyssey. It took me 2 years, but I took off 120 pounds and I've kept it off for 4 years. I must say, I feel better and have the old pep I had in college (my real age indicators are now great--I'm 7.8 years younger than my chronological age). I have made changes to my lifestyle that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

    First and foremost, I cannot stress the importance of keeping a food/exercise diary. Be honest and list absolutely everything that you put in your mouth, including items with no calories, such as water. Also keep track of portions since accurate caloric measurements depend on it. I kept my food/exercise diary religiously while dieting and if I fluctuate up more than 3 pounds, I get it back out and use it. (Mine's actually an Excel spreadsheet that I created with links to websites with caloric values for food consumed as well as different types of exercise and it will automatically calculate totals for calories consumed for each meal as well as calories burned through exercise and each and every day it will tell you whether you burned more calories through exercise than you consumed or vice-versa. Anyone wanting a copy here's a link (hit the "Free Download" button, if you can't access it let me know and I will email it to you. http://www.filefactory.com/file/ahee...istributed_xls )

    Talk to your doctor about what your maximum caloric intake should be per day. In the beginning, my maximum calorie target was 1200. Once I got in better shape, I was allowed to modify it upwards to 1400-1500 a day. If you keep a food/exercise diary, I think you'll be in shock over how many calories foods you consume have (especially processed foods) and how long it takes to burn off those calories (I live in the Northern Rockies and went on a 5-mile bike ride today on fairly steep mountain roads--it only burned off 285 calories). You need to be vigilant about unhealthy ingredients like trans fats, too. (Hint: avoid anything that has "partially hydrogenated" in it's ingredient list. Yes, I now read all labels when grocery shopping.) The process of keeping my food/exercise diary really changed how I view food and my relationship to it. It's no longer an emotional support for me but simply fuel that must be regulated properly.


    Next, be prepared to set aside 1 hour a day, minimum, for exercise (it doesn't have to be in one chunk--you can set aside two 30-minute periods at different times in the day). You need to exercise religiously. In weight loss mode, I exercised 1 1/2-2 hours a day--30 minutes in the early morning and then in the evening. At first, it was at a slower pace, but once I began to lose weight, my routines became more vigorous. Now that I'm in maintenance mode, I exercise 1-1 1/2 hours a day, six days a week.

    Get a support system, even if it's only online. There are many good sites if you don't have some local buddies who need to join you in your quest for a new, healthier lifestyle. Be prepared for occasional set backs, but don't let them cause you to abandon your goal. You can reach it. Believe me. You'll feel better and be much happier. Remember, you have only one you so take care of yourself.

  10. #10
    Senior Member RedC's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jmcdowell View Post
    So a few months ago I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my lifestyle.
    I weighed nearly 270#. Nothing in my closet fit. I got winded walking up the one flight of stairs in my house.

    I've lost weight before, lots of it. I know how to diet. But it always came back. I've always been big. I imagined what my life would be like if I was thin and fit. In my teens, I told myself that I would not live my 20's as a fat guy. I had maybe 1 year of my 20's where I wasn't obese.

    Now I'm 30 years old, and I refuse to keep living my life the same way. I finally decided diet alone wasn't going to do the trick, and I needed to exercise. I can't tell you how much it is changing me. Once, I thought exercise was just painful and tedious. Now, I absolutely love it, and I'm always wanting to do more and more.

    Now, I'm 227#, I've lost nearly 40#, and I can tell my fitness level is improving. Riding my bike is the most fun I've ever had and I'm addicted.

    But I feel like I am FAILING! Despite all my weight training, and cycling, and swimming, etc. I can't stop smoking. I've tried the patches, and the gum, and I still smoke. I hate it. I'm embarrassed. I don't have health insurance, so I can't afford the prescription meds that are supposed to help. My spouse smokes and doesn't want to quit, which means they are always in the house.

    I'm at a loss, and I don't know what to do. Have any of you gone through this battle and won? How did you beat it?

    The prescription meds cost less than you're spending on cigarettes. You have to be spending more than 150 dollars a month for smokes.
    Red, like the color my hair used to be.

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  11. #11
    Very Senior Member MikeR's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RedC View Post
    The prescription meds cost less than you're spending on cigarettes. You have to be spending more than 150 dollars a month for smokes.
    Good point.
    It's better to cycle through life than to drive by it.

  12. #12
    Go Leafs kgriffioen's Avatar
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    Keep in mind that these are my opinions and what worked for me!!

    1) Quit cold turkey
    2) Don't use the meds. IMO all you are doing is trading one addiction for another
    3) Its going to be very hard without the support of your spouse, but it can be done. Show her the benefits of not smoking by being a great example and stay strong.

    Good luck my friend

  13. #13
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    Ditto cold turkey and don't use the meds. The hardest part for me was thinking how much I liked that first smoke of the morning, and the one right after dinner, and... As long as I kept thinking that way I couldn't do it. I finally realized all I have to do is not have the next one.

    But you have to keep up with not having the next one! I quit back in 1985, but then in 1995 I gave in to temptation and tried one cigarette. I finally quit again in November of 2006. Just keep remembering not to have that next one!

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by kgriffioen View Post
    Keep in mind that these are my opinions and what worked for me!!

    1) Quit cold turkey
    2) Don't use the meds. IMO all you are doing is trading one addiction for another
    3) Its going to be very hard without the support of your spouse, but it can be done. Show her the benefits of not smoking by being a great example and stay strong.

    Good luck my friend

    I'm going to go on the opposite side of the spectrum for this. 2 weeks ago I was a heavy smoker. 2 packs a day of marlboro lights easy. 3 weeks ago i started chantix, the medicine a few others have mentioned. You start the medicine and continue smoking as you normally would for the first 10 days. With the first starter pack you start out on 1/2 mg tablets and slowly move up to two 1 mg tablets which you then continue. On the 11th day it's you're quit day. I can honestly say I have never had an easier time quitting than what this time with chantix. The past two weeks I haven't smoked at all, I've had a grand total of one craving and it was over as soon as it started. To address the poster up top, chantix is not an addiction, I've accidently skipped a whole day of taking them, and I still had no cravings. It works by blocking the nicotine receptors in your brain. While you're still smoking in the first ten days, its just the oddest thing. You don't get the normal effect of smoking, not to mention it makes the cigarettes taste TERRIBLE. It's so bad that even when i see people smoking it reminds me of the taste and I gag.

    All in all, i can't recommend it enough at this point. Luckily my insurance provider covered it so I only have to pay $30 a month. Even if your insurance doesn't cover it, chances are you spend more a month on cigarettes. Give it a shot, you wont regret it.

  15. #15
    VoodooChile zoste's Avatar
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    Forty years, the last twenty five unfiltered Lucky Strikes and as much as two or three packs a day. Tried the patches, tried Welbutrin, but couldn't get past the addiction. I bought my first bike in 2006 and continued smoking ten packs a week. I was the guy you sometimes see on the MUP taking a smoke break mid-ride. I couldn't get up a flight of stairs without wheezing either, and even sitting at my desk every breath caused rattling in my chest.

    I tried to ration my cigarettes so that I would finish a pack at bedtime: last smoke in the pack just before lights out. That way I had no cigarettes in the morning. I would have a forty five minute commute on a train before I could get to a store to buy a pack, though some mornings I would stop at a mini-mart on my way to the train. After about six weeks of doing that, I woke up one morning and said to myself "Today's the day." That was in January 2007, and I haven't had a cigarette since. It wasn't particularly difficult once I made my mind up and did it. I don't remember any horrible cravings; when the time is right, it's right.

    I took all the money that I would have spent on cigarettes (and liquor which I gave up a few months later), and put it into a separate ING account. By February 2008 I had saved enough to pay for a vacation to Arizona with my girlfriend, and had enough left over to buy my first real LBS bike, a Trek 7300. Six months later I had saved enough more to buy my first road bike, a Salsa Casseroll with 105 group.

    The physical withdrawal only lasts about 72 hours. The hardest part about quitting is psychological. You have an image of yourself as a smoker. For me the image was Humphrey Bogart. (Of course, Bogey died from cancer at age 57 ). The most important thing is to remake your self image as a non-smoker.

    Good luck with it, my friend. Once you get over the psychological craving, the physical addiction is a piece of cake.
    Last edited by zoste; 07-18-09 at 08:11 PM.
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  16. #16
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    The overwhelming part of the craving only lasts a few seconds. If you can make it through that feeling a few thousand times you will be a non-smoker. This knowledge made it possible for me to quit.

    Good luck! You won't regret the choice to quit for the rest of your life.
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  17. #17
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    Wow. Thank you all so much for the encouragement. I really honestly appreciate it.

    After I wrote this yesterday, I decided enough was enough. I think it helped just to get it all out.
    I haven't had a cigarette since then. I asked my wife, to hide them from me, and refuse to give me one, even if I beg her. I can't make her quit with me, but she is willing to support me.

    So far the cravings have been manageable. Except for first thing this morning with my coffee. I was tempted to go in the garage and search her car. But instead, I jumped on the bike and pedaled 10 miles to the gym, then jumped in the pool and swam breast stroke laps, then back on the bike for a 15 mile route home. That certainly cured me of that craving.

    Oh, and on a seperate topic. I've had my bike for a month now, and today, I broke the 400 mile mark. Yay me.

  18. #18
    On the road to health. Griffin2020's Avatar
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    The strangest thing to me is that, as a former smoker, your nose is more sensitive to cig smoke, and you will realize how much it stinks.

  19. #19
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    I have done the Chantix and it worked. That was the last forum I was in and I plug it all the time QUITNET.COM . When you log in they tell you ;

    Your Quit Date is: Friday, September 14, 2007 at 2:00:00 PM

    Test Time Smoke-Free: 668 days, 15 hours, 46 minutes and 28 seconds

    Cigarettes NOT smoked: 23403

    Lifetime Saved: 5 months, 28 days, 18 hours

    Money Saved: $5,151.30 (1 New Look 566 with all the trimmins')

    At some point like you just posted YOU have to come to the conclusion YOU want to quit. Not for a family member or friend but for you. MIne was taking the trash up the driveway and getting winded. I'm 160 lbs. Now every Sunday morning I put in 30-40 mi before lunch. I fought the depression afterwards with the Chantix but sometimes this is a side effect of the drug..Niicotine.

    But the main reason I wanted to post was if you go to your doctor and YOU are serous, he will find a way for you to get the drug. If not then you need a new doctor.

    Good Luck.

  20. #20
    BikeNewbie stark23x's Avatar
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    I wish I could help, jmcdowell, but my advice is useless. One day I just flipped a switch in my head, looked at the last Marlboro Light in the pack and said "I will never buy another pack of cigarettes again."

    April 4, 1995, 8:15 PM I pulled out my long-owned trusty Zippo - with the dent in it from when we were throwing knives at boxes of paper towels one day at work and I missed and stabbed the desk and almost pierced Zippy! - and I lit my last cigarette.

    I don't know how I did it. I know *why* I did it...my then-fiancee-now-wife was pretty dang allergic to smoke, like closed-her-airways allergic. So I just...stopped.

    I know. Not much help to you. I guess the only thing I can suggest from experience is find a reason that matters more to you than whatever you get out of smoking.

    BTW, I still totally miss the whole ritual of it. I don't miss the smoke, or the nicotine or the stench of stale smoke, but I miss tapping the pack, opening a fresh pack, the smell of a fresh pack, popping the Zippo, all that. I even miss maintaining my Zippo. I kinda like the smell of lighter fluid.
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  21. #21
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by stark23x View Post
    I wish I could help, jmcdowell, but my advice is useless. One day I just flipped a switch in my head, looked at the last Marlboro Light in the pack and said "I will never buy another pack of cigarettes again."

    April 4, 1995, 8:15 PM I pulled out my long-owned trusty Zippo - with the dent in it from when we were throwing knives at boxes of paper towels one day at work and I missed and stabbed the desk and almost pierced Zippy! - and I lit my last cigarette.

    I don't know how I did it. I know *why* I did it...my then-fiancee-now-wife was pretty dang allergic to smoke, like closed-her-airways allergic. So I just...stopped.

    I know. Not much help to you. I guess the only thing I can suggest from experience is find a reason that matters more to you than whatever you get out of smoking.

    BTW, I still totally miss the whole ritual of it. I don't miss the smoke, or the nicotine or the stench of stale smoke, but I miss tapping the pack, opening a fresh pack, the smell of a fresh pack, popping the Zippo, all that. I even miss maintaining my Zippo. I kinda like the smell of lighter fluid.
    Couldn't you keep the Zippo for other uses? Lighting a campfire, for instance?

  22. #22
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    Dont smole at the regular occasions when you usually smoke, such as with a cup of coffee or after meals.

    Keep switching brands

    Take a few puffs of a cigarette before you go to bed, and stub it out, but dont throw it away. Relight it and smoke it first thing when you get up in the morning - the taste will be repulsive.

    Good luck, and I hope you get a decent universal health system.

  23. #23
    Castiron Perineum Bockman's Avatar
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    My personal experience has been that when there were underlying emotional issues which remain unaddressed, I simply traded one destructive compulsive addiction for another. Thus, while my iron will and determination might move me from obesity into extreme physical fitness (as happened many times over my 4 decades of life), inevitably another addiction would rear its head, sometimes cigars, sometimes destructive relationships or alcohol, or sometimes just the slow and ugly descent back into atrocious eating habits would occur-- always with me baffled, enraged at myself, and miserable. Each swing of the pendulum was wider and wider, until in my early 30's I was completely obsessed with physical fitness and weight training (along with cycling), going to far as to take anabolic steroids for several cycles and getting myself down to about 4.5% bodyfat... that extreme was soon met with its exact opposite, and while I had several smaller 'recoveries' and 'lapses', by last Thanksgiving I was 325 pounds of sedentary, 40-something flab.

    I was having a conversation with a very good friend of mine (we share a common interest in bonsai) who is also a psychotherapist, and in that convo I openly wondered to him, "Why do I to this to myself? Clearly, I am capable of doing the heavy lifting of diet and exercise in order to achieve very high goals of physical fitness which I aspire to... why do I blow it all up?"

    To his eternal credit, he donned his therapist hat long enough to pose the following hypothesis to me:

    "Perhaps it's not achieving the goal of physical fitness and a reasonable weight that is the real goal. Perhaps the real goal is to get to that point so that you can blow it all up..."

    Why would I do that? The answer was, so that I could manage those feelings of guilt and self-recrimination... that type of 'anxiety management' was something I became addicted to doing when I was a child because of childhood abuse.

    So what is the upshot of all this? I found a professional, empathetic and truly awesome therapist to talk to, and in so doing I was able to process in a safe environment all of those horrendous childhood experiences and emotions which had been suppressed. Along the way my compulsions have disappeared like ghosts. I've lost 75 pounds (gone from a 44 waist to a 36), I'm exercising in a safe and healthy manner, and so far, no compulsions to self-attack in other areas have surfaced. No more 'iron will', no more self-loathing or steely determination, just incredibly happy and delighted with the experience of living.

    If any of this resonates with you, please do let me know, I'm happy to speak with you further or point you to several Internet resources for more.

    Dave

    Quote Originally Posted by jmcdowell View Post
    So a few months ago I came to the conclusion that I needed to change my lifestyle.
    I weighed nearly 270#. Nothing in my closet fit. I got winded walking up the one flight of stairs in my house.

    I've lost weight before, lots of it. I know how to diet. But it always came back. I've always been big. I imagined what my life would be like if I was thin and fit. In my teens, I told myself that I would not live my 20's as a fat guy. I had maybe 1 year of my 20's where I wasn't obese.

    Now I'm 30 years old, and I refuse to keep living my life the same way. I finally decided diet alone wasn't going to do the trick, and I needed to exercise. I can't tell you how much it is changing me. Once, I thought exercise was just painful and tedious. Now, I absolutely love it, and I'm always wanting to do more and more.

    Now, I'm 227#, I've lost nearly 40#, and I can tell my fitness level is improving. Riding my bike is the most fun I've ever had and I'm addicted.

    But I feel like I am FAILING! Despite all my weight training, and cycling, and swimming, etc. I can't stop smoking. I've tried the patches, and the gum, and I still smoke. I hate it. I'm embarrassed. I don't have health insurance, so I can't afford the prescription meds that are supposed to help. My spouse smokes and doesn't want to quit, which means they are always in the house.

    I'm at a loss, and I don't know what to do. Have any of you gone through this battle and won? How did you beat it?
    The best libertarian podcast on the internet! freedomainradio.com

  24. #24
    Each Drop of Sweat Counts
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    I smoked from high school through a four year tour in the Navy. I was a "cool" smoker. I never enjoyed it, I just thought it was cool and then of course you get addicted.

    I got a job in Miami after my first stint in the Navy and worked with a Peruvian guy named Alex who was a huge soccer fan and we played pick up soccer at lunch in the field out back at work.

    One day in the heat of summer we had a good game going. I over did it and towards the end of lunch fell down going for the ball. I absolutely, positively, could not get back up. I actually thought I was dying and I'm not kidding.

    I was a 2 pack a day smoker. I came back in our shop and crushed my cigarettes and have never smoked since.

    Okay, that's a lie. I quit for a couple years. I went back in the Navy a couple years later and went on a Med cruise. Got pitifully drunk in Naples Italy one night and smoked a whole pack of cigarettes. Got back to the ship and passed out in my rack and then got up a couple hours later and had the worst bout of vomiting I've ever had in my life. I know it was mostly from the alcohol but all I could taste was cigarettes.

    And that my friend was the last time I ever smoked. First round of quitting was 1987, followed by the slip up in 1990. Haven't smoked since.

    Once you decide to quit, and I mean really decide to quit, you'll quit.

    John

  25. #25
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    Ok, It's been a little over 24 hours since my last smoke. I find myself thinking about it a lot. I've been trying to keep myself really busy. Running unneeded errands, cleaning the clean rooms, etc.
    I guess it wouldn't matter if I wasn't busy. There aren't any cigarettes in the house for me to run to.
    I may not have the will power to resist them if they were here in front of me, but I can keep myself from going to buy them.

    Griffin2020, I know you are right. What really sucks is that a couple years ago, RJ Reynolds came out with a new type of cig, called Eclipse. They have no ashes, or lingering odor. We switched to them when they came out so that we could start smoking in the house again without stinking it up. Since we switched very few people actually know I'm a smoker. It was much easier to hide when you don't smell like it.

    nivekdodge, thanks for the info. That's pretty cool. I've been doing some research, and it seems as though I might qualify for one Pfizer's programs to help me get the meds. Honestly, I would prefer to quit without drugs, but when all is said and done, I just want to quit, I don't care how.

    Stark23x, I did quit once, when I was in my teens. I had been smoking for a couple years, and for some reason, just stopped. Then I started club hopping with my friends, and it was cool, so I started again. Haven't stopped since, till now.

    AndrewP, I'm shooting for just not smoking at all anymore!

    Dave, I'm sure a lot of the issues that I have come from my traumatic childhood situation as well. I don't know if it as drastic as what you described. I've always thought I have risen above my background and didn't turn out like them. I'm overweight because I ate delicious food, that was loaded with stuff that makes you fat, and sat around and didn't do anything. Smoking was a social thing that just stuck. But, I'm done with it now. I'm not going to smoke, I'm going to make better eating decisions, and I'm going to move a lot, and have fun doing it. - speaking of which, this sweet little old lady raved about my swimming technique in the pool this morning, said I looked like a fish and it was fun to watch me. lol.

    John, I understand that. When I first started exercising I realized how much damage the smoking was causing me. I haven't quite been able to just set them down over the last couple of months, but I think I'm there now. Congrats on being smoke free for almost 20 years. That's awesome. - My mom was born in Okinawa, I've always wanted to visit.

    Thanks again for all the encouragement. I know I've only been smoke free for 1 day, but that is something like 25 cigarettes, I would have smoked otherwise.

    -James

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