People must be using some crappy frame pumps and/or technique out there. Topeak's Road Morph (as well as other styles and brands) have a small hose from the pump. This prevents all the stem damage. Keep the arms straight and use the body weight / core / legs to work the pump (someone in another thread said "it should look like a monkey humping a football"). I've used the Topeak up to 120psi (another person's tire) with zero problems. The 'G' series of Topeak pumps are nice because they have a built-in pressure gauge. At Clydesdale weights the extra few grams don't bother me.
it's hard work - hard enough that between the pushing, sweating, pushing, swearing and pushing, it's easy to damage the valve stem