I don't accept the idea of a predestined "time",if that was the case, all the caution in the world would not help. Your time would be up and you would be gone, not be around to post this.
I tend to think more about probabilities, and what can be done to reduce risk. Caution is always your friend. Clearly, having working lights when riding at night is a GOOD thing.
Have to wonder though...had you left 3 minutes earlier....even if your lights HAD been working...would the driver doing 60 in the drizzle have seen you in time? Maybe, maybe not.
If you had left, say, 6 minutes earlier, but made it PAST the tree the driver hit before they got there, would you have been alright? Maybe, maybe not.
Clearly, you did NOT want to be on the SAME stretch of road at the same time as that driver. From what you've said, you missed them by just a couple of minutes.
So very much comes down to being in the right or wrong place, at the right or wrong time.
Unforseen influences can help. Maybe your friend told you one or two more jokes or stories during your visit, which kept you from leaving, not knowing that she was saving your life.
Think about it....from the time you began to think "Its getting time for me to go home", to the time you actually left, what was said which kept you there just a few more moments?
A warm thought shared, a touch of the hand, a smile...and you are with us today.
How small acts can have very large results.