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Old 10-25-10, 08:07 AM   #1
malux
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The secret bunny conspiracy to kill me

Today was my fastest & longest ride to date. 27 miles @ 16.0mph (16 according to my polar; 15.9 according to my cyclecomp.) It was a blast, except for the bunnies trying to kill me.

For reasons that escape me, three of them ran directly in front of me. One, in fact, waited at the side of the trail until I got close then ran directly in front of my bike. It then turned 90 degrees to run just inches in front of my wheel (note: I now know bunnies can run at 18mph).

I have no idea how bunnies survived extinction. An animal that runs directly in front of a potential predator should not have survived this long as a species.

Thus, i've concluded that either: 1) bunnies are dumb. 2) there is a secret bunny conspiracy to kill me. 3) I met 3 suicidal bunnies this morning.


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Old 10-25-10, 08:12 AM   #2
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Here in CO we have prairie dogs doing the same dumb thing.
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Old 10-25-10, 08:14 AM   #3
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Bun Bun says: "Did someone mention rabbits?"
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"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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Old 10-25-10, 08:19 AM   #4
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3) I met 3 suicidal bunnies this morning.

I met the Dead Milkmen, so there. :-)
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Old 10-25-10, 08:21 AM   #5
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I met the Dead Milkmen, so there. :-)
I once played in a band that opened for the Ramones......so there.
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Old 10-25-10, 09:58 AM   #6
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I once played in a band that opened for the Ramones......so there.
i knew a guy named Ramone
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Old 10-25-10, 10:05 AM   #7
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I am the Ramones.
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Old 10-25-10, 02:48 PM   #8
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I've run over a squirrel or two- I'm not sure why they wait until the absolute worst time to cross- but they do. I always feel terrible about it, too- But if the choice is running a tree rat over or swerving into oncoming traffic, well....
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Old 10-25-10, 03:17 PM   #9
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I have a pet bunny. His name is Coco Martin. (my kids named him) He says to bring carrot tops to throw to the bunnies. Then they will see you as a friend, and stop trying to make you crash. He says celery is also good. Hope this helps.
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Old 10-25-10, 06:26 PM   #10
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In Calgary we had urban jackrabbits, which are actually hares, and they had very good traffic skills. One day some years ago I was walking downhill from my apartment at morning rush hour, and noticed a jackrabbit hopping down the grass verge in front of me. Every few minutes it would stop, look across the road, and then get going again. When there was a break in the traffic it scampered across four lanes and arrived safely on the other side. Come to think of it, they were better at crossing the road than some of the kids in the neighborhood.
On the other hand, we also have a pet rabbit at home, and she's a tough little broad with a lot of attitude... so maybe they really are trying to make you crash.
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Old 10-25-10, 07:28 PM   #11
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Rabbits and tree rats BOTH like to make a mad dash DIRECTLY in front of my regularly.. at least they run.. Turkeys, just stand there in the middle of the trail.. Looking at me like I am stupid for expecting THEM to move..
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Old 10-25-10, 07:32 PM   #12
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Animal Conspiracy - Take a few minutes. This will explain it to you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3LDnQpD_uFQ
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Old 10-26-10, 08:18 AM   #13
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In Calgary we had urban jackrabbits, which are actually hares, and they had very good traffic skills.
we need to have some of them move to Florida and improve the gene pool
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Old 10-26-10, 06:48 PM   #14
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we need to have some of them move to Florida and improve the gene pool
Unfortunately, rabbits and hares can't crossbreed... different chromosome counts. However, I could mail you some gophers.
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Old 10-27-10, 06:29 AM   #15
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Funny thing happened to me yesterday which was a first. I am used to an occasional dog chasing or barking at me on my weekly lunch time ride. However, yesterday I was approaching a goat along side the road that got loose from the farm I was passing. This farm is notorious for having animals on the loose (it is on a mountain top on a road with little to no traffic so its not a big deal). As I was getting closer I channeled my inner goat and started bahhhhing at it so i didn't startle it when i got next to it. It turned and stared at me and I noticed it had horns. I am thinking this thing is going to charge at me so I pick up the pace to get by quickly. It doesn't charge but decideds to run along side me about 2 feet away for a little while until it got to the farm driveway at which it when back to the side of the road to eat more grass. Wasn't sure how to react to a goat running with me. Now a dog would have been barking and nipping at my feet but what do you do about a goat? It was in not way threatening I was just surprised it ran along side of me. I hope my baaahhing on the approach didn't remind it of some kind of mating call and the poor guys was expecting something
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Old 10-27-10, 09:59 AM   #16
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I met the Dead Milkmen, so there. :-)
"You know that I would be untrue. You know that I would be a liar. If I were to say to you I didn't set your dad on fire."

Used to see them on campus back in the 80s and I think I saw them play at DU.

R.I.P. Dave Blood.
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Old 10-27-10, 10:01 AM   #17
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I have no idea how bunnies survived extinction.
Duh. By breeding like rabbits.
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Old 10-27-10, 10:49 AM   #18
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"You know that I would be untrue. You know that I would be a liar. If I were to say to you I didn't set your dad on fire."

Used to see them on campus back in the 80s and I think I saw them play at DU.

R.I.P. Dave Blood.
Anyway, 10:30, the other night, I go out in my yard, and there's
the Wurster kid, looking up in the tree. I say, "What are
you looking for?" He says "I'm looking for my burrow owl."
I say, "Jumping Jesus on a Pogo Stick. Everybody knows
the burrow owl lives. In a hole. In the ground. Why the hell do you
think they call it a burrow owl, anyway?" Now Stuart, do you
think a kid like that is going to know what the queers are
doing to the soil?

Me too. My first experience seeing them was at the Chestnut Cabaret in the late 80s where i was introduced to slam dancing as it was called back then(moshing now?). Actually, played volleyball with them once at a backyard picnic, didn't know who they were at the time. They have performed some reunion shows lately, obviously without Dave Blood.
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Old 10-27-10, 01:46 PM   #19
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Yummmm... rabbit-stew is tasty! Remember, don't try to avoid them too much or you'll crash. Best to just ride straight and over... aim for the neck...
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Old 10-27-10, 01:50 PM   #20
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Buy.

A.

Bell.
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Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."
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Old 10-27-10, 06:44 PM   #21
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Duh. By breeding like rabbits.

I knew it!

Btw, my wife had a thought on the the whole bunny sudden crossing thing. She figures the magicshine makes me look like a train coming through. The bunnies, she says, just want to cross because they don't want to wait it out until the last train-car makes it through.
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Old 10-27-10, 07:28 PM   #22
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No problems with rabbits in Maine. Just Turkeys.
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Old 10-27-10, 10:02 PM   #23
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Shhhhhh! Dude they are everywhere,they'll hear you! Its a conspiracy for sure. They want to take us all out.
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Old 10-28-10, 07:52 AM   #24
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Hopefully the bunnies are not descendants of the The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog!!!

"It's just a little bunny, what's it gonna do nibble my bum?"

"It's a killer, he's got nasty big pointy teeth!! and a vicious streak a mile wide!!!"
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Old 10-28-10, 09:40 AM   #25
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Thus, i've concluded that either: 1) bunnies are dumb. 2) there is a secret bunny conspiracy to kill me. 3) I met 3 suicidal bunnies this morning.
It's 2).

With me it's sheep. The nearest I have come to death on my bike was a couple of years ago when touring in Scotland. Me on my touring bike, with full gear, a total load (bike plus rider plus luggage) of about 280lbs having toiled up a very considerable mountain and now enjoying the release of all that potential energy on the descent. Doing, in fact, an exhilarating 40 mph or fractionally more. The moors on either side of the road are liberally sprinkled with sheep that regard me with an ovine lack of curiosity. Except for one, which looks up at my approach and instead of just standing still or moving away jumps straight in front of me. I am toast - I don't even have time to hit the brakes - but the sheep, presumably hoping it can prompt me into a fatal crash without injuring itself, just touches down in front of me and immediately springs backwards, bouncing out from under my wheel nanoseconds before I plough into it. I continue, thanking whatever guardian angel happens to be mine, and think no more of it.

Until three weeks later when I'm out on my road bike in the moors of Northumberland - England's emptiest county, and great for cycling - and almost exactly the same thing happens. I'm piling down a steep hill at high velocity, and a sheep runs out in front of me. This one mistimes its attack and I have just enough time to swerve round it, but I'm doing well over 30 mph and there's a sphincter-tightening moment before I'm sure I can keep the bike on the road.

There's only one possible explanation. There's some sort of contract out on me in sheep society. I've taken to shouting "stay away from me, you assassin" when there's any sheep close enough to be a potential threat. So far it seems to be working, but I'm not complacent. I know they're just waiting for me to get careless...
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