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  1. #1
    Senior Member Seattle Forrest's Avatar
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    Mar 2010
    Seattle, WA
    4 Post(s)
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    Quote: Ultegra is for fat people

    A friend of mine used to own a K2, until a thief got it. She's been looking for it on Craigslist and other places where stolen bikes might turn up ... and while hers hasn't turned up yet, she sent me this hilarious ad for a different K2. I thought you folks might get a kick out of it, too.

    BTW - I have Ultegra stuff on my bike. I guess this explains why I plateaued in my weight loss.

    k2 mod 5.0 full dura ace bicycle (make me an offer) - $800 (Seattle)

    Let's face it. You're fat. I know you think just because you have 9% body fat and you can wash clothes on your stomach you think you're in shape.

    You're not. You're fat. People have been talking about it a lot recently. They say you look unhealthy.

    I think perhaps we may be able to figure something out to fix this. Obviously, you need a bike. It just so happens I have a k2 mod 5.0 road bike that I've barely used.

    So, if you're 5'8" - 6'1", read on.

    It's quite a bit like this one, but make sure you read on to see the differences:

    First off, it's full dura ace. Ultegra is for fat people, and as we've discussed, you're trying to lose some weight. Think on that. They sell a fat-people ultegra bike for $1,425. I'm selling you a full dura-ace bike for $800 (or best offer).

    Next, the wheels are Mavic Ksyrium. Definitely not for fat people. Forks, seat stay, and... the back? yeah, the triangular back thing. That's all carbon, which I'm told is what space suits are made of. Pretty high tech. And it'll help you lose weight.

    The pedals are Look CX7. They come with the full set of adjustable components to change the angle of the pedals, the release angle, all that cool crap. **This will not help you lose weight, but it may save your skinny little girly ankles one day** Also, it will toughen up your girly ankles. I've got shoes for you if you need them as well (and if they fit, of course).

    It has an equipped and working flight deck computer, which you may or may not be interested in using to help you track how much fat you're shredding off your body. This also has the 5,000 page novel of an instruction guide.

    K2 sizes their bikes a bit differently because of the downward sloping bar, so this bike will fit anyone 5'8" - 6'1".

    Now, here's the catch.

    The front shifter has seemed to have lost its grip on the cable. This should be a super easy fix. Hell, replace it with a fatty mcfatster ultegra shifter and you'll be on your way just fine. It's for the front, so it's not like it'll take a super tuned piece of equipment to deal with it. Now you know why this bike is selling at a discount. Otherwise, it's in impeccable condition.

    Try to find a full dura ace bike cheaper. I dare you. Search "dura ace" on CL right now. Make sure it's full dura ace you're looking at... yeah. See? This is a pretty sweet deal.

    Why I'm selling: I bought the bike on a whim thinking I was going to be riding all the time. Turns out, I'm not, so it's just sitting here, mocking me. I can't take the verbal abuse anymore, so I'm selling it to you.

    This bike is in impeccable condition otherwise.

    I'm open to all offers.

    Don't believe everything you think.

  2. #2
    Countdown to 65!!! Pamestique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    So Cal
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    I don't own any bikes
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    What a deal!!! Of course the bike is stolen!!!

    Private docent led mountain bike rides through Limestone Canyon. Go to and register today! Also available: hikes, equestrian rides and family events as well as trail maintenance and science study.

  3. #3
    Senior Member skilsaw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2010
    Victoria, Canada
    My Bikes
    Cannondale t1, Koga-Miyata World Traveller
    0 Post(s)
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    Where did he steal my picture from?
    The one who has the most bikes wins.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Chattanooga, TN
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    So if Ultegra is for fat people... Dare I ask what 105 is for??

    NOW I know what's wrong with me- I don't have Dura-Ace any more!!


  5. #5
    For some reason the OP's post brought this to mind:

    "I defy any so-called thin person to come cycling with me," said one poster under the name JigglyJim. "I can cycle at least 2 miles to my local donut shop easily, as long as I take the flat route around the hill. In fact I have worn out several bikes through all my cycling which just shows another part of the conspiracy against people of size. Bike manufacturers should make frames and seat posts as strong as the gears – which never seem to wear out."

    I also find this amusing because I live two flat miles from a donut shop......

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