natbla

Its been a good couple years of not being here or getting on the bike consistently. For that matter its been two years of life struggles, tough choices, and issues that contribute to a lack of will power and self care.

Most of the tough stuff isn't going away, and I don't really have the discipline and will to stay on this well. But I'm 39 and I don't want to be 40 and fat. For those of you who don't remember me here is a short description (pun intended).

I'm slightly more than 5' 9" (license say 5' 10"), 224.2 pd (this morning after eating), and outdoor oriented. I work in affordable housing, am married and have a 7 yr old. I should be a good bit lighter (more on that later).

I spend 10 Sunday's a summer helping to run a whitewater paddling program for kids, coach U8 soccer for 14 weeks a year (spring and fall seasons), whitewater kayak another 10-15 days a year, work 40-60 hrs a week, and have accumulated only 500 miles on my bike in the last 30 months after hitting 1400 in 6 month of 2007 or 08 (can't recall).

So here I am back here to try and have a little accountability and help be motivated above the base level of daily stress (I teared up watching the half-time show last night because I enjoyed it).

Anyway, enough with the baring of the soul and on with what I hope is the good part. I'm trying to put some balance back into life and how that biking goes back to being part of it. Each year I focus on taking care of my self for about 3 months and then it falls apart, and usually by then end of that 3 month period I'm down to right around 210 plus or minus 3lbs. The 2 times I've manage to string together 2 - three month sections in a year I got down to 204. but that's no longer good enough.

This year I've already failed twice at on attempt to change things. I tried to have a go at a 60 minutes for 60 days challenge. each time I lasted 4 days before missing a few days in a row. The first time was due to my wife ending up in the hospital, the second time was simple because I was too tired to drag the trainer out at 10 PM. On the plus side, I've been more physically active since mid- December than at any time in the last 3 years. I've been X-country skiing 12 times since Christmas weekend, and I've done 4 separate 60 minute trainer rides as well. But I'm not even close to where I want to be, and yet I can't seem to do what it takes.

So my final attempt to get a fresh start is as follows: One week before my 30th b-day I decided to try a small wins approach to all this effort at sustained change and success. I am scared that if I'm not at or close to my ideal weight by the time I'm 40 its never going to happen for me. So for the 52 weeks between my 39th and 40th B-day I want to lose 52 lbs, week at a time. This would get me to a goal weight of 173.8 in 1 year.

Since putting this out publicly on my twitter page (same name as I use here for those who are interested), its followed my typical pattern - I gained weight. By last Thursday night I was at 227.8. To which I said "what the F&%$! and decided I needed to get serious and also start weighing myself in the AM to get better results (self-serving I know). So according to my 52 in 52 plan I should be working toward 222.8 by this coming Sunday night. It doesn't look good.

So I'm back, hoping that a little bit of public disclosure of my goals and struggles plus a bit of this groups normal mix of encouragement and accountability may help me fight the battle of wills I have going with my self and my desires (both good and bad).

Anyway, its good to be back and I'm looking forward to returning to the group going forward. Oh yeah and getting back to biking regularly>

dehoff

Welcome back!

Your story is strikingly similar to my own. Looks like you have the accountablity aspect taken care of on your Twitter account, but you can also join in on the Biggest Loser thread here.

jethro56 

natbal:

It appears to me that you have all the pieces to put a program together. 52 lbs in 52 weeks is reasonable. The big difference I did this time is not pushing myself. I went for habit forming over constantly increasing my goals. If I showed up at the Y I was a success. It's fairly easy to make big gains when you first start out.The trouble I had in the past was expecting to continue to be faster, stronger at the same rate as when I began. Now I take more of of do whatever I feel like attitude. So what If I don't workout as hard today as I did yesterday. I did workout. I didn't quit. Maybe when I achieve my target weight and can eat at a maintence level the fitness goals will be achieved. Then again maybe not. I'm still very fit now.That was all I was wanting when I began.

exile

Good luck.

Its difficult to break habits. You have a goal, but what is your plan for achieving that goal? Will you be able to follow that plan? Will you be flexible enough to change the plan when required? Don't get my wrong, i'm not trying to discourage you. But for me the hardest part for me was finding a plan I was willing to do and not become disappointed when things didn't work out as planned.

Best of luck to you.

natbla

The changing habits is the hardest part of this of course. I think I'm going to focus on simple ones firs, like drinking omre water and not stopping to buy breakfast on the way to work. I still need to pick a simple one for exercise too.

Neil_B

Welcome back! I've thought of you every time I find myself in Western Maryland.

natbla

Well, its been a few days of up and down. I got on the trainer last night for a whopping 15 minutes at 11:15 PM. I was just too tired to do more than break a sweat so I got off and finished watching Conan and Lopez tonight before heading off to bed. I need to find a way to go from being a late night person to a early morning person. I just don't know how to do it successfully. I think if I can swing it so that I'm early to bed by 10 PM and up and active at 5 AM or 5:30 AM I'll be able to meet my exercise goals better since my household is made up of later risers.

On the plus size, my weight is starting down again. Of course I gave into the "call of the Martin's Italian hogie" for lunch today so the weight may flex upward again tonight.

I did get on the bike last night so maybe if I can pull it off it will be longer tonight (30 minutes) plus a longer dog walk in the single digit temps tonight.

I know that selling a bike in messages is not allowed. So I'll simply mention I'm selling a bike for a buddy who rides a 58 size frame. Here's the link to marketplace for those who are interested. He gave me a couple Carmichal DVDs that I think I'll try out and a great 12 week training plan he purchased. Its good to have supportive friends like that.

I've started saving for a carbon no-name frame I want to buy. I realize the risks in buying this type offrame. But I'm up for it and having that out there as a possibility helps motivate me. In the meantime, I'm looking forward to trying to get out on my Iron Horse bike in the next 7 day at least 1 time and put 2 hrs in on the trainer during the same period (small wins).

Historian - I'd wondered how often you'd headed out this way in the last 2 years. I still have the same email but not the same cell so next time you're out this way hit me with an email and we can have lunch again.

jethro56 

Natbla: Last night was a success. 15 minutes > 0 minutes. Sure I have "goals" in mind but if I don't hit them so what? My program is to show up. Several times I've went to the Y and did a few minutes and decided I just didn't feel like it. The other regulars have said "What's wrong?" I've replied " I'm just not into it today." They reply "Some days are like that for me too." I'll repeat my refrain.... It's the habit that's important. Not what you do.

natbla

I appreciate this perspective. I hadn't thought of it like that. Now to keep that in view going forward.

natbla

One good day, followed by a tough one, leads to today and the battle moves on.

I was able to get in 30 minutes on the trainer Wednesday night, and even managed my evening meal content well. The result - 2+ lbs down from Mon. night.
Thursday was always going to be a holding pattern day just because of the schedule that included 3 hrs of kid activities starting right after getting off work, and that worked out on the weight side. But, I gave into the pizza monster at lunch and a tough day in the office meant when I ran to McD's for the wife @ 9:30 PM I could resist the call of an egg nog shake (I'm pretty sure there's no milk in one). But I was pleasantly surprised at the end of the night when the weight didn't tick up from the day before, and the morning weigh in this morning was down too. So, hopefully today will be a good day on all counts.

salesman

Might I suggest a food diary? You might be more hesitant to eat the wrong foods if you know exactly what the caloric/fat content is. I've gone from 226lbs in December to 193 today.

Neil_B

I'd like that.

Perhaps I can repay the favor you paid me. Having gotten into Cumberland without crashing in August 2008, I decided I didn't need to go to DC after all. I was going to spend some time in Cumberland before driving home. I told myself my trip was done.

You asked me "Neil, are you going to be satisfied with that a month or year from now?"

I said "Yes." But I thought about it later. And that afternoon I thought I'd take a little trip on the C & O, just to see what it was like this time. I just planned to ride a few miles, and maybe camp at the first hiker/biker site, and head back to Cumberland.

Three miles into my ride I knew I wasn't headed back to Cumberland. Four days later I was at Union Station in DC with a very dirty bike.

So if it weren't for this meeting:



I'd never have had this meeting:



Thank you, natbla.

natbla

Good idea! I keep almost doing a food diary. But my hesitation is that I'll get frustrated by the impact of meals that are prepared by someone other than me (not the eating out kind). That said, if I try and focus more on those things I can actually impact in life, instead of those things I wish i could impact, there may be an added bonus for me on my stress levels and mental health. I must ponder this, while refocusing on my path to success - small steps and small wins add up to large successes that last.

Neil_B

They are all small steps, natbla. Don't sweat them. Do them.

jethro56 

This has been my approach. I told myself when I began "I'll give myself 2 years to achieve my goal. If I don't make it then I'll try another two years." I achieved my original goal of losing 200 lbs in 19 months. In some ways having so many pounds to lose (and so much to gain) it may be better for me as I've established some good habits. My value system of how I want to spend my time is forever changed now.

natbla

Its the third day since I said, "In the next 7 days I want to get my Iron Horse Bike outside and get 2 hrs in on the trainer." So here is a quick update - Today's high is 31 w/ gust to 30 mph and light snow so no out side ride today. BUt there is hope as 3 of the next 4 days are over 40 here in Frostburg, and may hit 50 in Cumberland. So I don't have any real excuse for not getting the ride in. I"ve been on the trainer twice for a total of 46 minutes. If I can get in 30-45 minutes today, I'll be on track for my 2 hrs.

Nutritionally, its been a mixed bag. I'll check my weight tomorrow night as part of my 52/52 goal. But I've had too much pizza on one hand, but my total junk food intake is down over all and I'm drinking more water overall.

jethro56 

Hey you did something. The weather is out of your control. 46 minutes on the trainer is more than I did the first week of my journey. Your junk food intake is down. Many sucesses. It's time I pulled out a quote that means alot :

natbla

Great quote! I'll try and keep it in mind going forward. I did get in another 30 minutes on the trainer last night and was hoping for a ride today as the temps are up over 40 for the first time since early January. But I have a number of projects due this week so its writing time today. I'll pack the bike in the car tomorrow to see if I can ride after work. I'm looking forward to tonight's weigh-in. Today won't be without any exercise as I'll be in a pool with a kayak tonight for an hour or so. I'd like to get in some trainer time today as well. But only if one of these applications done first.

Still need to do my ride. BUt I'm up to 1:15 of the 2:00 hrs on the trainer.

jagraham

Natbla -

Welcome back to the herd. Sometimes progress means taking baby steps, but it is still progress, is it not?

Best wishes for your success. We'll have to get together when the weather breaks and I get past PT.

Judy

lucienrau

Natbla, I have many of the same issues. I was very sedentary and kept gaining and losing the same 10 lbs for a few years. What got me going is my daughter, she's 2 now and I don't want to be fat when she's older. Getting out with her has helped, and as everyone else says, small steps and lifestyle changes. This winter in New England has been very tough on me since outdoor activity has been quite a bit of my exercise. Livestrong and a couple of other calorie counters that have phone apps helped me with the food diary. Including my family motivates me to get out there, my daughter bugs me to go out on her bike seat. There's no refusing "zoom zoom papa."

thestoutdog

Welcome back Natbla, we're happy to have you with us. I think you are one of the Clydes I'll have to ride with this year. Maybe we (jagraham, The Historian, myself, and ???) will have to get together and ride. My son and I had a great time last year out there. Let's make it happen. Oh, don't worry about the amount of time spent in the saddle at any one time. The frequency is what really works over the long haul.

natbla

Well, I did my 3rd week Sunday night weigh in. On the plus side it was 226 down from 127.4 last Sunday. On the down side, I was hoping to be at lest a pound lower. But, I blew my dinner/evening eating badly. I wan't home for dinner time as I was at the pool in my kayak, so I ended up nibbling all night including McD's. So, all things considered,a small win for getting the weight heading in the right direction. Now hopefully, ths grant application won't keep me from an outside ride even with a late night of working ahead of me.

bautieri

You weighed in at -98.6lbs?

Just joking with you, great work!

natbla

Hmm, that would be 227.4, I guess the typing skills still need some work. ;-)

txvintage

WB natbla. Seeing the likes of you and Ben back on the board is having a positive effect on me.