Its been a good couple years of not being here or getting on the bike consistently. For that matter its been two years of life struggles, tough choices, and issues that contribute to a lack of will power and self care.
Most of the tough stuff isn't going away, and I don't really have the discipline and will to stay on this well. But I'm 39 and I don't want to be 40 and fat. For those of you who don't remember me here is a short description (pun intended).
I'm slightly more than 5' 9" (license say 5' 10"), 224.2 pd (this morning after eating), and outdoor oriented. I work in affordable housing, am married and have a 7 yr old. I should be a good bit lighter (more on that later).
I spend 10 Sunday's a summer helping to run a whitewater paddling program for kids, coach U8 soccer for 14 weeks a year (spring and fall seasons), whitewater kayak another 10-15 days a year, work 40-60 hrs a week, and have accumulated only 500 miles on my bike in the last 30 months after hitting 1400 in 6 month of 2007 or 08 (can't recall).
So here I am back here to try and have a little accountability and help be motivated above the base level of daily stress (I teared up watching the half-time show last night because I enjoyed it).
Anyway, enough with the baring of the soul and on with what I hope is the good part. I'm trying to put some balance back into life and how that biking goes back to being part of it. Each year I focus on taking care of my self for about 3 months and then it falls apart, and usually by then end of that 3 month period I'm down to right around 210 plus or minus 3lbs. The 2 times I've manage to string together 2 - three month sections in a year I got down to 204. but that's no longer good enough.
This year I've already failed twice at on attempt to change things. I tried to have a go at a 60 minutes for 60 days challenge. each time I lasted 4 days before missing a few days in a row. The first time was due to my wife ending up in the hospital, the second time was simple because I was too tired to drag the trainer out at 10 PM. On the plus side, I've been more physically active since mid- December than at any time in the last 3 years. I've been X-country skiing 12 times since Christmas weekend, and I've done 4 separate 60 minute trainer rides as well. But I'm not even close to where I want to be, and yet I can't seem to do what it takes.
So my final attempt to get a fresh start is as follows: One week before my 30th b-day I decided to try a small wins approach to all this effort at sustained change and success. I am scared that if I'm not at or close to my ideal weight by the time I'm 40 its never going to happen for me. So for the 52 weeks between my 39th and 40th B-day I want to lose 52 lbs, week at a time. This would get me to a goal weight of 173.8 in 1 year.
Since putting this out publicly on my twitter page (same name as I use here for those who are interested), its followed my typical pattern - I gained weight. By last Thursday night I was at 227.8. To which I said "what the F&%$! and decided I needed to get serious and also start weighing myself in the AM to get better results (self-serving I know). So according to my 52 in 52 plan I should be working toward 222.8 by this coming Sunday night. It doesn't look good.
So I'm back, hoping that a little bit of public disclosure of my goals and struggles plus a bit of this groups normal mix of encouragement and accountability may help me fight the battle of wills I have going with my self and my desires (both good and bad).
Anyway, its good to be back and I'm looking forward to returning to the group going forward. Oh yeah and getting back to biking regularly>