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  1. #1
    Retired C.O. RandoneeRider's Avatar
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    Uh oh.... I think I'm starting to 'get it'.

    Two months (to the day) and 452 miles since buying my rather
    'earthy'/unattractive/split-pea matt-green touring/treckin'/wannabe cyclo-cycle.......
    and after stumbling onto "The Rules" yesterday, I'm starting to get it.

    I took the rack and soft luggage off the back of the bike last night, replaced the really strange chamo' handlebar tape with black, raised the seat a 1/4 inch this morning followed by yet another 1/4 inch for tomorow's ride, gonna put the pedal cages in place, actually looked at inexpensive entry level Cycle Jerseys a couple hours ago, and started wearing my sunglasses OVER the helmet straps.

    Now (according to The Rules), all I need is a '63 Ford Falcon atop which to transport my bike.

  2. #2
    Retired C.O. RandoneeRider's Avatar
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    Okay.... that went over well.
    These are "The Rules" I spoke of; though tongue-in-cheek, I've noticed that they may in fact hold true among particular bikers. I'm afraid I can't place who/what the source is, it was late at night so I just copied what I could.....

    The Rules:
    (It was fun while it lasted...., I don't have the original webpage from which "The Rules" were copied. So I can't provide those still curious with a link that might take them there.)
    "...cutting and pasting an entire webpage instead of providing a link doesn't help matters....."
    "...(as) was pointed out copyright law and forum policy ... which trump
    preferences like this..."
    Last edited by RandoneeRider; 07-22-11 at 02:49 PM.

  3. #3
    Downtown Spanky Brown bautieri's Avatar
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    Ah nuts, I violate far too many of those rules to be a real cyclist. I am guilty of violating: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 11, 12, 18, 19, 24, 25 (my truck was 40k, bike was 2,500 decked out), 26, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, (Where is rule 38? I probably broke that one too) 41, 43, 44, 48, 49, 50, 56 (drink black coffee w/o sugar you sand bagger), 60, 63 (signal with your left hand only, that way you can still modulate speed with your rear brake), 71, 73. I probably broke 79 & 81, but they're missing and presumed broken. My only redeeming trait is that I ride and commute on a cyclocross bike. That means that I can safely dabble in Road, Mountain Bike, Commuter, and Fred-Like culture with only minor ridicule.

    Thanks for the morning laugh, RandoneeRider

  4. #4
    Retired C.O. RandoneeRider's Avatar
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    I'm choosing to be selective of which 'rules' to violate, just to get a rise outa the elitists..... and I truly DO wish I could find a solid '63 Ford Falcon (unless they were made as early as '61; the smallest model made is what I want)

  5. #5
    Ride like the wind! nutmegTN's Avatar
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    Ah ha! NOW I know what htfu means.

  6. #6
    GONE~
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Mithrandir's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what I think of the rules. At first it seems like they're meant for levity and getting a laugh, and they're not that serious. But then there's quite a few rules that are dead serious and really should not be violated unless you've got a death wish.

    Regardless, there's quite a few I'm not in compliance with, and almost as many that I'll never be in compliance with.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Seattle Forrest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RandoneeRider View Post
    I'm choosing to be selective of which 'rules' to violate, just to get a rise outa the elitists...
    Doesn't work. Those elitists are obeying rule 71: "Ignore other cyclists with whom you are not intentionally riding."
    Don't believe everything you think.

  9. #9
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    Rules are meant to broken. Especially if it irritates those that abide...

  10. #10
    Loves to suffer freighttraininguphill's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zjrog View Post
    Rules are meant to broken. Especially if it irritates those that abide...
    Yup. Anybody who attempts to tell me I can't listen to music at low volume in my right ear only needs to take the corncob out of the wrong hole it's inserted in.

  11. #11
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    That's the stupidest set of rules I've ever seen.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  12. #12
    Ride like the wind! nutmegTN's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    That's the stupidest set of rules I've ever seen.
    Um... yeah. That's the point.

  13. #13
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    I have recently joined the forum, and I have to say, for some one who has just recently begun to get serious, I'm doing pretty well. I, in fact, have a 1960 Ford Falcon, which was the first year that car was made, and it has the narrowest wheel base. The car was purchased for $100 and the bike about 10 times that. I have yet to attach a bike rack though.

    ~Al

  14. #14
    Senior Member snowman40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RandoneeRider View Post
    Rule #71
    / Train Properly.
    Know how to train properly and stick to your training plan. Ignore other cyclists with whom you are not intentionally riding. The time for being competitive is not during your training rides, but during competition.
    Not sure, but that doesn't sound right.....

    Maybe I should get out of the gutter....
    Quote Originally Posted by snowman40
    If you must speed up to pass me, you don't deserve to pass me
    Quote Originally Posted by abstractform20 View Post
    farts are greatly appreciated as long as the other riders are talented and experienced. at the precise moment of release, a vacuum is formed. this is the optimal time for the rider behind you to get as aero as possible and "ride the brown rhino". his face should be within 2-3mm of the anus to receive maximum benefit (reduced drag...duh, its in a vacuum). i have hit speeds of over 53mph in such conditions.

  15. #15
    Senior Member snowman40's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snowman40 View Post
    Not sure, but that doesn't sound right.....

    Maybe I should get out of the gutter....
    Just found out from your wife that she likes your mind in the gutter....

    /PCAD
    Quote Originally Posted by snowman40
    If you must speed up to pass me, you don't deserve to pass me
    Quote Originally Posted by abstractform20 View Post
    farts are greatly appreciated as long as the other riders are talented and experienced. at the precise moment of release, a vacuum is formed. this is the optimal time for the rider behind you to get as aero as possible and "ride the brown rhino". his face should be within 2-3mm of the anus to receive maximum benefit (reduced drag...duh, its in a vacuum). i have hit speeds of over 53mph in such conditions.

  16. #16
    Senior Member Seattle Forrest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by zjrog View Post
    Rules are meant to broken. Especially if it irritates those that abide...
    Quote Originally Posted by freighttraininguphill View Post
    Yup. Anybody who attempts to tell me I can't listen to music at low volume in my right ear only needs to take the corncob out of the wrong hole it's inserted in.
    Sounds more like the opposite - the existence of these rules is a source of consternation for people who don't abide...
    Don't believe everything you think.

  17. #17
    Retired C.O. RandoneeRider's Avatar
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    Lemme apologize either in advance.... OR for having posted "The Rules" altogether, 'cause I LOVE 'EM!

    As was already suggested above, they were indeed meant for levity BUT.... I been around long enough to appreciate some of the other unspokens; afterall, ya gots 'em in every circle of discipline.....

    Since reading 'The Rules', I removed my luggage rack and soft bag that once held my 6" Subway, Snickers, Blue Ice, and blow-up doll. I got rid of the rather poor attempt (on my part) of handlebar tape that matched my Honey B17'S' that I have since sold..... I couldn't afford the $80 matching Brooks leather tape, so I settled on some wierd ghey looking chamou' tape that didn't match the stem, seat post, or tires.... I bought some black Bicycle socks to replace my 20 year old shortie socks that once had that little ball tangling on the heel..... I went shopping for a generic, on sale, unmarked, not-very-fancy bicycle Jersey, but in orange I looked like a pumpkin straddling my bike this hot afternoon. I haven't yet converted my miles to Kilometers either in my mind-set or the computer mounted to my handlebar (not the stem, as per rule # some'n...).

    And I am soooo jealous of Alvor315's 1960 Ford Falcon!!!
    (I bought some cages for the pedals, and putting them on in the morning)
    ((But I won't be riding for a day or two 'till this subtle rash on my butt cheeks from today's ride clears up......))
    (((Okay, TMI I know. So what, we're among friends)))

  18. #18
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    That's the stupidest set of rules I've ever seen.
    Then again, cutting and pasting an entire webpage instead of providing a link doesn't help matters.....

  19. #19
    Retired C.O. RandoneeRider's Avatar
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    "Then again, cutting and pasting an entire webpage instead of providing a link doesn't help matters....."
    ride yer own ride cowboy....

  20. #20
    Senior Moment Member jagraham's Avatar
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    Rule 86 - F the rules...

    [As an aside -- I remember following a link that a I thought a trusted friend posted to a yahoo group. It wasn't a "nice" link -- one of those nuisance links that Norton didn't catch. I would much rather read the text here.]

    Judy

  21. #21
    Senior Member Seattle Forrest's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jagraham View Post
    [As an aside -- I remember following a link that a I thought a trusted friend posted to a yahoo group. It wasn't a "nice" link -- one of those nuisance links that Norton didn't catch. I would much rather read the text here.]
    Neil was pointed out copyright law and forum policy ... which trump preferences like this.
    Don't believe everything you think.

  22. #22
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by Seattle Forrest View Post
    Neil was pointed out copyright law and forum policy ... which trump preferences like this.
    Even aside from the probable copyright infringement - and my apologies if the OP had permission to reproduce someone's intellectual property - simple nettiquite is to provide a link and quote a small portion of the linked article.

  23. #23
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    It's "nettiquite" because of the copyright infringement issue.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

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