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Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) Looking to lose that spare tire? Ideal weight 200+? Frustrated being a large cyclist in a sport geared for the ultra-light? Learn about the bikes and parts that can take the abuse of a heavier cyclist, how to keep your body going while losing the weight, and get support from others who've been successful.

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Old 02-05-12, 03:04 PM   #1
green427
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Who is to blame, me or her?

This happened a year ago. Wife is still pissed at me about it.

We were riding in a state park on some dirt trails with our hybrids. The trails are about 3-4 feet wide at the base. I told her that I would take her on the 'easy' trail. That specific trail went in between two big trees, and the opening is about 4 feet wide, the same size as the rest of the trail. I go through, my kids go through, but the wife hits the right tree head on and falls. Not hurt, but she was pissed at me for picking that trail, saying I should not have picked that trail since the trees were too close for her to fit through. She may be overweight, but having 12 inches of clearance on either side should have been enough.

So, is it my fault that she hit the tree, or hers? She still insists that I am responsible.


Last edited by green427; 02-05-12 at 04:43 PM. Reason: Grammar
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Old 02-05-12, 03:20 PM   #2
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Sounds like bad judgement on her part.
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Old 02-05-12, 03:26 PM   #3
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Sounds like bad judgement on her part.
The ride or the marriage?
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Old 02-05-12, 04:10 PM   #4
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Both, you cant win trust me on this one .
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Old 02-05-12, 04:12 PM   #5
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Just say it was your fault.
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Old 02-05-12, 04:42 PM   #6
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Both, you cant win trust me on this one .
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Just say it was your fault.
+1

She made the mistake to ride into a tree (does she drive a car????!!!) But you're an idiot for even attempting to "win" an argument like this.
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Old 02-05-12, 04:48 PM   #7
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You can be right or you can be happy. You decide who's fault it was.
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Old 02-05-12, 04:54 PM   #8
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Really, a year later and she is still blaming you for something that is her fault?

Time for a new riding partner.
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Old 02-05-12, 05:14 PM   #9
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tell her that you were wrong. Trust me... its not worth it. Your wife.... I know her... she can suck the blood from you. Be careful!
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Old 02-05-12, 05:48 PM   #10
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There was never any real admission on my part, but she keeps bringing it up every time we have a conversation with friends about bicycling.

However, I do sarcastically tell her that she can ride wherever she goes since I might pick a route with a tree in the middle of the road.
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Old 02-05-12, 05:52 PM   #11
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Wow I can only imagine what else you been blamed for in your marriage
Whats she like when something really is your fault ?
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Old 02-05-12, 06:51 PM   #12
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Your at fault! Sorry, but that's part of the wedding vow! "I do" as in I do take all respinsibiliy for everything that ever goes wrong!!! I known it's not verbalized but rather implied!!!
Terry
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Old 02-05-12, 07:19 PM   #13
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tell her that you were wrong. Trust me... its not worth it. Your wife.... I know her... she can suck the blood from you. Be careful!
Fascinating. The OP is married to a vampire. Usually a man doesn't determine that fact until the divorce.

The OP is correct it's his spouse's fault for hitting the tree. If she disagrees, I suggest he turn off his hearing aids.
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Old 02-05-12, 07:26 PM   #14
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If she disagrees, I suggest he turn off his hearing aids.
Two things: 1) We both are deaf, so I would have to close my eyes as well. 2) You need to be/have been married to understand the rules....it is always the man's fault, even if it is not. The wife holds the key to our happiness...which is why this adage is true: "Happy wife equals a happy marriage".

Remember, men only need sex & food to be happy, whereas women need a bazillion things to be happy....any imbalance in one of those bazillion things means no sex...
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Old 02-05-12, 07:37 PM   #15
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I blame the tree.
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Old 02-05-12, 08:56 PM   #16
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You're married, so, BY DEFAULT, you're AT fault. Sucks, but there it is. One BIG reason I'll never marry again.

Realistically, though -- she MISSED a FOUR-FOOT GAP? Find a new shared hobby, ride with the kids or by yourself.

(NOTE: still carping after a year? She's enjoying the twist of the knife, piling on the guilt. Line #1 above, x200....)
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Old 02-06-12, 09:30 AM   #17
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Yet one more reason why some couples get divorced!

The man fails to realize one basic rule of happiness in marriage - to wit; if Mamma ain't happy, ain't no one gonna be happy!

Secondly - if you wife ever learns that you brought this up in a public forum, it'll go worse for you than it is now.
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Old 02-06-12, 09:52 AM   #18
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Ow man, that sucks. Are all wives like this? I got a girlfriend and she is really cool. I don't think she'll blame me for something like that, I think. I took her on a single trail once and she scratched her legs on thorns etc. She said that it sucked but that's about it.

But she's very active and a kite surfer so she's used to not blaming others...also she is not a wife (yet). Do you guys think when you say "I do" everything changes?

Cause you know.....that would require some mental preparation.

But Green427, maybe she's jokingly blaming you....you know? Just to tell a "funny" story to friends about how this one time she gave in and tried to get into you hobby MTB, and you took her on this extreme trail and made her crash into a tree....sounds pretty funny to me.
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Old 02-06-12, 09:52 AM   #19
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There are alternatives to marriage. I'm in a "civil union" with my bike, according to my bike's Facebook page. All he (I guess my bike is a he because he doesn't have a step-through) does is complain I don't give him enough attention. And that I'm too fat.
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Old 02-06-12, 10:46 AM   #20
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After 20+ years married to the same woman, it is always your fault. She is always right and the next time there is an arguement you can bet your arse she will bring it up and use it against you. That being said, I just learned to laugh it off(we tend to be a very sarcastic couple at times). As with anything in this life, you have to decide which battles to pick and this ain't one of them. There was a book I read and turned my kids on to called "Don't sweat the small stuff". This is small stuff so don't sweat it and move on. I think I may have been right once or twice in the past 20 years and she admitted it. I would always make her repeat it to make sure I heard her correctly. I think I may have even recorded one.
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Old 02-06-12, 10:57 AM   #21
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She hit the tree "Head on"

I don't think a professional cyclist is thin and agile enough to go THROUGH a tree.
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Old 02-06-12, 10:59 AM   #22
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"Sorry, Honey, I didn't realize the trees were so close together it would be difficult to navigate." would have ended this a year ago.
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Old 02-06-12, 11:07 AM   #23
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Remember, men only need sex & food to be happy, whereas women need a bazillion things to be happy....any imbalance in one of those bazillion things means no sex...
More true words have never been spoken!
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Old 02-06-12, 11:11 AM   #24
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Do you guys think when you say "I do" everything changes?
YES ^

You become property of them at that point...ask a married guy if you should get married and 9 times out of 10 it will be "Don't do it!"
If you can be happy in a long term committed relationship, then do it. Marriage only has a benefit if one isn't working and it is time to file the taxes
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Old 02-06-12, 11:21 AM   #25
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Yet one more reason why some couples get divorced!

The man fails to realize one basic rule of happiness in marriage - to wit; if Mamma ain't happy, ain't no one gonna be happy!

Secondly - if you wife ever learns that you brought this up in a public forum, it'll go worse for you than it is now.
Man, ain't that the truth.

Now, having said that (and since my wife doesn't read the forums), I will say that if I'm out on a ride with the wife and she gets a flat, somehow it's always my fault. I've learned to just roll with it (no pun intended).

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