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Thread: Regret...

  1. #1
    LAE
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    Regret...

    Anyone else have serious regrets that you didn't start your fitness journey sooner?

    I was physically fit and had a promising career as a goalkeeper (soccer/football) but screwed it up and ended up injured & overweight, dont get me wrong, i am very optimistic about my future and happy the way its all going but i still feel regret that i didnt do any of this sooner. Feels like wasted years.

    I guess i hope i'll be able to teach my kids this lesson and that they'll listen. I want to help others with it all but its a difficult topic to discuss with some folk.

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    Climbers Apprentice vesteroid's Avatar
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    Why waste energy on something you can't change. Look forward,and move forward, the past is the past.

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    Senior Member Street Pedaler's Avatar
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    I think I'm with Vesteroid. Yesterday is gone, I'm just happy to still be here today. A lot of people who were very close to me aren't. But I do understand what you're saying.

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    Senior Member goldfinch's Avatar
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    One wonderfully adaptive characteristic of people is the ability to rationalize away regrets. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to sleep at night.

    Live well going forward. That will be the best lesson for your kids.

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    Do I regret it? Yes. Do I regret things I have done? Yes but at the end of the day, it doesnt matter because I need to live in the "now".

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    One of my favorite bands, is a band called Pennywise. This song is about living every single day, don't worry about the past, don't worry about the future, just enjoy every single day, ride like there is no tomm and ride to forget your past, enjoy life.

    Every Single Day lyrics




    So many people longing to be
    Living their lives regretlessly
    Trying to repress the pain in their lives
    Reassuring themselves living with lies

    No way to break through not on my own
    Can't push away all the sorrow I've known
    Have to release every thought or care
    And take control, life is a dare

    I can start over today
    Live my life a different way
    Can't find a way to erase bad times to make everything okay
    I'll start over and live every single day
    Every single day
    Every single day, yeah

    Regrest and memories no remorse no apologies
    No reason for me to despair no future at all, ask if I care
    I got time on my side twenty four hours in my life
    Can't hang on to what's in my past
    Full speed ahead hard and fast

    I can start over today
    Live my life a different way
    Can't find a way to erase bad times to make everything okay
    I'll start over and live every single day
    [. From: http://www.elyrics.net/read/p/pennyw...ay-lyrics.html .]
    Every single day
    Every single day, yeah

    At the end with each dropping sun
    Can't erase what has been done
    Who cares what happened long ago
    I don't want to know

    I can start over today
    Live my life a different way
    Can't find a way to erase bad times to make everything okay
    I'll start over and live every single day

    Can't face tomorrow with these thoughts of yesterday
    I can't escape the lies and make them go away
    Wish I had the answers to help me make it through
    Can't shake these images no matter what I do

    I guess I'll use them to make me a stronger man
    I'll use each twisted tortured memory to help me understand
    And I will learn from mistakes that everyone make
    I got to find a way
    I guess I'll have to live with them every single day

    Every single day
    Every single day
    Every single day


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    Senior Member BikinPotter's Avatar
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    OMG do I have regret! I think about all the stupid things I've done or said, situations I could have handled so much better than I did, hurts I've caused myself and others, all the time. These annoying, unbidden thoughts which (if I allow it) wreck my peace of mind. But I like what Street Pedaler said, I'm just happy to still be here today. All I can do is acknowledge my mistakes and try not to repeat them, right?

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    Meh...

    Yesterday's gone. Tomorrow ain't here yet.

    Anytime I have one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, I'm pissin' all over today.

    Best to make today a good day.

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    Quote Originally Posted by goldfinch View Post
    One wonderfully adaptive characteristic of people is the ability to rationalize away regrets. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to sleep at night.
    That's how I got fat in the first place - rationalizing!

    Quote Originally Posted by goldfinch View Post
    Live well going forward. That will be the best lesson for your kids.
    +1. And y kids motivate me.

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    Yesterday's experience gives us the skills today to handle tomorrow's challenges.

    I have many regrets. I cannot undo them. From about 15 years ago, cycling enabled me to live well into the future when I might otherwise have not (smoker, drinker, general hard living). It brought me a happy marriage, world travel, and other intangibles. I wouldn't have it any other way.
    Dream. Dare. Do.

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    Throttle Up. Punch Through.
    Seize the day without regret.

    So... no. None.
    I chose as I chose, and am where I am.
    Past is gone, only today and tomorrow are relevant.

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    Senior Member tony_merlino's Avatar
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    Do I have regrets? Guilt? I went to Catholic school in the late '50s and '60s. Regret and guilt are two of my middle names. But I'll admit I don't obsess about all the things I did wrong or could have done better anywhere near as much as I used to. I don't know why. Senility? The blessing of aging is forgetfulness.
    L'asino di Buridano...

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    Senior Member BikinPotter's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tony_merlino View Post
    Senility?
    The blessing of aging, besides forgetfulness, is a realization of just how little time we have on this earth. I mean to enjoy it! No time for living in the past. When I have my sad remembrances/dark thoughts I ask myself, "Can I change it?" If the answer is no, then I focus on something else.

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    Senior Member tony_merlino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by BikinPotter View Post
    The blessing of aging, besides forgetfulness, is a realization of just how little time we have on this earth. I mean to enjoy it! No time for living in the past. When I have my sad remembrances/dark thoughts I ask myself, "Can I change it?" If the answer is no, then I focus on something else.
    Goldfinch said it on another thread, and it's something I constantly keep in mind nowadays. Once we hit our late 50s (I'm 59), we lose the sense of infinite horizon that we had when we were younger. I'm taking the trouble to get back in shape now so that I can enjoy the few good years I have left, maybe squeeze a couple of extra healthy, active ones out of it. Plenty of time to be consumed by guilt and regrets when I'm sitting facing the sunset in my Adirondack chair, drooling on my lap blankie and wondering where I left my teeth. Hopefully, by then, my mind will be gone and I won't know or care anymore...
    L'asino di Buridano...

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    LAE
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    I'm depressed now, all this talk of going barmy in old age!

    I dunno I think regret is healthy, kinda makes me think I'll never go back because of those regrets. Dnt get me wrong folks I'm not wallowing in self pity and feeling sorry for myself I'm just trying to figure out why the hell I didn't do this sooner. When I see overweight kids and teenagers i want to tell em not to waste time and put the effort in now for their own sake.

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    Quote Originally Posted by tony_merlino View Post
    Goldfinch said it on another thread, and it's something I constantly keep in mind nowadays. Once we hit our late 50s (I'm 59), we lose the sense of infinite horizon that we had when we were younger. I'm taking the trouble to get back in shape now so that I can enjoy the few good years I have left, maybe squeeze a couple of extra healthy, active ones out of it. Plenty of time to be consumed by guilt and regrets when I'm sitting facing the sunset in my Adirondack chair, drooling on my lap blankie and wondering where I left my teeth. Hopefully, by then, my mind will be gone and I won't know or care anymore...
    If you are a healthy 59, there is a good chance you will live another 30 years. I wouldn't call those "a few good years I have left".

    Underestimating the time you might live after retirement is a fundamental flaw in many people's life plans.
    Dream. Dare. Do.

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    Senior Member 009jim's Avatar
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    Let's not get too cavalier about the "live for the day" angle. People who don't plan ahead are a PITA.

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    Senior Member Street Pedaler's Avatar
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    "Learning" from the past and "dwelling" on the past have nothing to do with each other. If you're anchored to what's behind you, how can you ever move toward what's ahead of you?

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    Senior Member Big Pete 1982's Avatar
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    Well, I'm glad I finally got around to losing my "winter" weight from like 10 years ago. I do regret not getting into cyclying sooner though. I didn't realize how much I would enjoy it. My regret is mostly due to the fact that my Dad used to be very involved in the cycling community and was a helluva rider. If I had started my fitness journey sooner I could have had some great times riding with my Dad. Now he's in his 60's, has bad knees and back and can't really ride much. It's especially hard since I see how excited he gets when I tell him about my progress and how much fun I'm having riding and I think it makes him sort of sad that he isn't riding anymore.

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    Senior Member tony_merlino's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rowan View Post
    If you are a healthy 59, there is a good chance you will live another 30 years. I wouldn't call those "a few good years I have left".

    Underestimating the time you might live after retirement is a fundamental flaw in many people's life plans.
    I had my kids in my mid-forties. Retirement? Feh! I've still got eight years to go before the youngest is out of college, and that's only if he goes straight through in four years. Grad school? Fuggedaboutit! You're on your own, kid...

    What I mean by "a few good years" is the time that I might have left being able to enjoy doing strenuous physical things - like cycling for hours - without a lot of pain and without a lot of limitations. I don't know how many years "a few" is. But I'm hoping to get healthy enough so that I can enjoy these physical things for as long as possible. Whatever "a few" is, it's less than I believed I had when I was in my twenties.

    Already, things I can't do anything about (other than go back and pick different parents, with a different genetic heritage) are making it impossible to ride a road bike configured the way I used to have it configured. A bike that used to fit me like an extension of my body became so painful to ride because of stenosis and arthritis, that I've had to move to a much higher stem, bars with shallower drops, ... basically a much less aggressive position. Not a huge deal, but illustrative of the fact that, much as we'd like to believe 60 is the new 30, it just isn't true for most of us.

    I don't know about anyone else, but one of the things getting older has taught me is not to put things off - that "later" can easily turn into "too late". This isn't the same as being profligate, or "living for the day". It just means making sure I take care of today as well as planning for tomorrow. If you don't take care of today, then all you'll have tomorrow is those regrets that are the subject of this thread.
    L'asino di Buridano...

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    Quote Originally Posted by 009jim View Post
    Let's not get too cavalier about the "live for the day" angle. People who don't plan ahead are a PITA.
    Sure, you should plan ahead, but realize that there's not surer way to make the fates laugh than to make a plan.

    There's an old axiom that plans go in the garbage just as soon as hostilities commence. Turns out that the other side has plans as well.

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