In addition to having diabetes, I also suffer from depression. Usually my meds can keep me on an even keel, but there are times, even with my meds, I really struggle with the depression.
The past five days have been one of those times. I've been angry at the world, and especially my wife, for no apparent reason. A couple of drinking glasses "mysteriously" traveled across a room and broken against a wall. Somehow a steak knife found its way into our air mattress, and if I had a dog, I'm sure I would have kick him (or her) a time or two.
The other thing that happens is that I eat. Granted, I eat more than I should even on my best days, but when I "get moody" (as my wife calls it), the eating really gets out of hand. This past Saturday, for example I overdid it at a pizza buffet, and I mean waaaaaay over did it. Sunday, I had 26 chicken nuggets and an entire (big) bag of BBQ chips just for dinner (won't mention lunch). Monday was two extra large cheese and pepperoni pizzas. Yesterday was just snack after snack after snack all day long and today (well, at least earlier today), 17 White Castle "sliders" found their way into me (and yes, I'm already paying for that stupidity).
Anyway, now I feel as if I'm almost back to normal (normal for me anyways) and the guilt is just about killing me. Yeah, guilt for pretty much everything that has happened, but especially for the pigging out like a crazy man.
I've talked to my doc about this before, and he's offered up a couple of solutions, but I've been too bull-headed to follow through with them. Now I'm thinking that maybe now is a good time to listen to my doc and do what he says. Guess I'll call tomorrow and try to get in as soon as I can.
There's a thread here in the clyde forum entitled 'change your thinking/change your behavior." Maybe it's time I do both.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent a little bit. They say confession is good for soul (well, at least Superman did in Superman 1); I think "they" may be right. I do feel a little better. G'night all.