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Clydesdales/Athenas (200+ lb / 91+ kg) Looking to lose that spare tire? Ideal weight 200+? Frustrated being a large cyclist in a sport geared for the ultra-light? Learn about the bikes and parts that can take the abuse of a heavier cyclist, how to keep your body going while losing the weight, and get support from others who've been successful.

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Old 08-13-12, 01:09 PM   #1
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Club frustration

As many of you know, part of my success has been due in large part to finding a club to ride with. Well....I am seriously thinking of finding a different club and quitting this one altogether. Things have just taken a dramatic shift in attitude of late.
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Old 08-13-12, 01:15 PM   #2
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Well... what's going on?
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Old 08-13-12, 01:16 PM   #3
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Old 08-13-12, 01:41 PM   #4
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It is a new club...guess it is the 2nd attempt.

I joined in March. I responded to a discussion about ride leaders that I "would be interested in the future" once I had gained experience. The founder took that and ran with it..making me her co-organizer. I was asked to begin leading rides fairly immediately. First ride with group was 3/24...on my FX...got my road bike 4/6 and was leading a ride on 4/21. I wanted to be helpful and was honored(?) that the founder felt I was capable.

In May things started to go sour a bit. She set up a competing ride for a day I was leading a ride in a different location. I was interested in doing the new ride as I had never ridden it before and the ride I was leading was my "typical" SGRT ride...we were texting back and forth about it and she lectured me about being a ride leader like I was a child. That left a bad taste in my mouth.

There was an issue with FB where she deleted something I posted and chastised me about the post (I had apologized to our beginner riders as we didn't have a July beginner ride set up and we had new beginners anxious to get out on a ride).

End of June rolls around and all of a sudden she is going to be too busy to lead any rides. I am pretty much the ONLY other person who is leading so I stepped up and led rides every weekend that I was available to do so. Than a few weeks ago she demanded (not asked, demanded) I do something as she was buried and it was hard doing everything herself. I am busy too wiht my real life job and an unpaid internship...plus not volunteering for the 2nd in command position she put me in....so I balked at her demand on my time. She also had the nerve to say she was the ONLY one leading rides


I found time to do what she asked me to do and got no feedback on it whatsoever...no "that was awful" or "good but needs tweaking"....nothing. Then all of a sudden w/o asking she has me hosting leadership meetings. So I asked what that was about? She began to lecture me about how much time she spends on things and how I should do more as the VP... So I finally told her I am not ready to be an officer in the club and how I didn't really ask for that position...she volunteered me to the post. I neve once asked to be in that role. At that moment I stepped down and became just a ride leader which suits me better as I don't know the first thing about organizing a cycling club.

So last week she posted on our FB site a link to our website about a female specific floorpump made by Bontrager. She had a link on our page to one of our sponsors. As two of our sponsors sell Treks and Bontrager stuff, I checked our other sponsor's website and saw they had the pump too. So I posted on the FB site in comments that our other sponsor also had it. No big deal right? WRONG

I get a FB message that she deleted my comment and as she is trying to promote our site to make my posts lead to it. I responded "fine". Got a reply that "some of my posts are counter productive" Seriously? And how "she" really needs to stay focused on our club and not the sponsor I had referenced. Eventually she tells me that she did not see the item on the one sponsor's website hence not referencing them. Hmmm as I had seen the item on their website which LED to my post that they had it too. So after giving a few days cooling off period I sent only the link to the item from their site. No other comment...just found the item so she could use it to put on our website with the other sponsor. She responded basically that I was pissing her off and to "tread lightly".. **Sigh**

So am seriously thinking of stepping away from the club as it is becoming something it wasn't.
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Old 08-13-12, 01:46 PM   #5
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It's gotta be fun or it's not worth doing. Too bad. Sounds like the club did a lot to encourage new riders.
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Old 08-13-12, 01:53 PM   #6
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Agree...

I will most likely stay but won't be involving myself much beyond riding and encouraging those on the rides. Personally I felt the group was trying to expand too much too soon. I want the group to succeed as there needs to be groups for women who are not ready for the groups that ride in double pacelines....
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Old 08-13-12, 01:54 PM   #7
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I would have quit by now. That's no way to treat your co-organizers.
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Old 08-13-12, 02:06 PM   #8
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I'm guessing you guys are both females?

My direct response would be, tell that person how ya feel; and don't beat around the bush / try and be nice. Be direct, be polite, and have a plan in the waiting to kill her and dispose of her body if it doesn't work out.
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Old 08-13-12, 02:15 PM   #9
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I'm guessing you guys are both females?

My direct response would be, tell that person how ya feel; and don't beat around the bush / try and be nice. Be direct, be polite, and have a plan in the waiting to kill her and dispose of her body if it doesn't work out.
Yes, both female. It is a women's cycling club. I have politely stated my feelings very clearly...but the behavior on her end has continued. When I got the message "'pissing her off and treading lightly" I felt that came out of left field in response to me just sending the link to the item she said she was unable to find. She said she couldn't find it so I found it and shared the link. No comment necessary...I thought. And I get that I need to "tread lightly"?

I ride on Wednesday's with a longtime friend of the founder (they have been friends for at least 20 years and rode the first AIDS ride together way back when)..who told me the reason the club failed intitially was that the founder would set up rides and then not show up...and she has cancelled the morning of a ride three times to my knowledge because she is sick...leading to me having to lead rides alone...one ride I had not ridden the route before so it was an adventure that day to say the least.
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Old 08-13-12, 02:22 PM   #10
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Why you still there?
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Old 08-13-12, 02:34 PM   #11
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Why you still there?
Membership dues are paid up thru July 31 of next year. I will give the group and the founder some time to see if things get back to the group I started riding with and not what it has become.

I get that it is a tough job to set up a club hence I have not done so...nor do I have any desire to do so. I want to ride. Am willing to help where I can but I appreciate being asked not being told....as most adults do I suspect.

I am not so sure I "need" the group to motivate me to get out and ride like I once did. If I want to, I can find someone to ride with me or just get out on SGRT and go as it runs right by my neighborhood.

I may actually get a job at the one sponsor that the founder seems to have a negative attitude toward....going to talk to the guy next week about possibly coming on board as a part time sales person. The extra $ would be nice plus the extra benefits of deep discounts for an employee and the chance to learn how to work on my bike myself.
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Old 08-13-12, 02:38 PM   #12
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Its a club...its not another job, dont let her treat it as one. Unless they are paying you for your time, they have no "right" to demand your time. If you feel good about it and want to volunteer, do so, if you dont, then dont give it a second thought.

Didnt I see you post you are a counselor? Heck talk her into it and make her think it was her idea!
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Old 08-13-12, 05:05 PM   #13
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Just out of curiosity, if you are a club charging fees shouldn't officers be elected? Have you gals set up bylaws?
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Old 08-13-12, 05:55 PM   #14
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Just out of curiosity, if you are a club charging fees shouldn't officers be elected? Have you gals set up bylaws?
I think they should be YES but that is not how it happened. and NO...not yet.

Club history as I know it:

Club was "re-started" on Feb 24, 2012 by forming a Meetup group and later a FB group and page. Club was started one time previously but failed. I have heard a few versions of "why"

I found out about the club after they posted about a ride on my LBS FB page and joined early March. My first ride with them was 3/24/12 on my FX Hybrid bike. I got a road bike on 4/6 and on the Meetup site in the discussion forum asking about ride leaders I said this: "
Hey all, I am thinking I will lead some rides as well as volunteer to be the sweep rider at times. Figure if we all take a turn doing these valuable group tasks we will all get that much more out of riding with the group."

I was immediately made the co-organizer of the group.

June 10, We had a rider fall on a ride and safety and insurance became a huge thing. Agree both are important. It was at this point too she changed her title to President and me to Vice President. Again w/o asking me....but I was trying to go with the flow.

We had our one and only "leadership meeting" on July 2.
It was decided to join LAB and as such we needed $ from members to afford the insurance etc. as each member is insured thru LAB. So she got busy with getting us a membership in LAB (League of American Bicyclists), setting us up as a non-profit and having our own website. In addition she has been trying to get club jerseys done and maybe squeeze money out of one of our sponsors to help with that and help offset costs.

We chose to charge $25/year which includes subscriptions to a couple magazines, LAB membership and the insurance security....

We now have about 12 paid members.....

I think she has moved the group too fast too soon....

And I for one was not willing to be bullied into stressing over things that did not need to be priority. Getting lectured about my role that I had not volunteered for was just not going to happen and I spoke up each time about her tone and assumptions. **sigh**

She also asked for a ton of stuff from the one sponsor and good thing she couldnt see their reaction as I have talked to one of them at the LBS and he pretty much told me their reaction was "get real...ridiculous requests"

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Old 08-13-12, 09:58 PM   #15
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Well, I'd suggest calming down (I can see you're close to the situation, so let it rest for a week) and then go have a cup of coffee or something with her and calmly describe what you're feeling. Some people are adroit at not being able to see how their behavior affects others but it's worth giving her a chance.

if you can't agree to some sort of terms then perhaps you need to go your separate ways - heck, $25 won't sting that badly.

What was wrong with just having a meetup once a week for rides? Why do people have to go get all formal about stuff? My wife manages my daughter's club soccer team and ugh, the personalities. Some people... can't live with 'em, can't hit 'em in the head with a brick.
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Old 08-13-12, 10:03 PM   #16
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This is exactly why I ride alone or with a friend. I ride for exercise--for my physical and mental health.

I don't need all the group drama, attitude and assorted other hassles.
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Old 08-13-12, 10:09 PM   #17
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Well, I'd suggest calming down (I can see you're close to the situation, so let it rest for a week) and then go have a cup of coffee or something with her and calmly describe what you're feeling. Some people are adroit at not being able to see how their behavior affects others but it's worth giving her a chance.
I am calm just frustrated. I am not leaving group....yet. Going to see how things go. Just needed to vent.

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What was wrong with just having a meetup once a week for rides? Why do people have to go get all formal about stuff? My wife manages my daughter's club soccer team and ugh, the personalities. Some people... can't live with 'em, can't hit 'em in the head with a brick.
My thinking exactly. I talked on my Wed ride with her longtime pal about my stepping down from my position as VP/co-organizer...and got feedback that made me feel better about my reaction/feelings to what had been going on. I remain as a ride leader which I hope remains enjoyable.

Im just glad I don't "need" the group to motivate me to ride.
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Old 08-13-12, 10:13 PM   #18
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This is exactly why I ride alone or with a friend. I ride for exercise--for my physical and mental health.

I don't need all the group drama, attitude and assorted other hassles.
I didn't have the friend to ride with....so finding a group I was able to ride with was super exciting.

Being a women group might add to the drama Ha ha ha.
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Old 08-13-12, 10:24 PM   #19
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Sheesh, sounds like a thick skull you're dealing with. Leave the club before you begin considering mud wrestling or water boarding.
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Old 08-13-12, 10:28 PM   #20
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Sheesh, sounds like a thick skull you're dealing with. Leave the club before you begin considering mud wrestling or water boarding.
Thank you the laugh!
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Old 08-13-12, 10:35 PM   #21
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I don't need all the group drama, attitude and assorted other hassles.
There was no drama or hassles on the GMR ride, all fun!
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Old 08-13-12, 10:38 PM   #22
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There was no drama or hassles on the GMR ride, all fun!
That it was!!! I can't wait til 9/1.
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Old 08-13-12, 11:21 PM   #23
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Thanks Beachgrad. I don't know how many of your co-members have said that. But, I appreciate that you have caused me to consider how much I enjoy the laid back, show up and ride attitude of the group I ride with on Saturdays. We aren't a "club", although a large percentage of riders do happen to ride with a particular club on Sundays. We just show up in the same place at the same time each week, figure out who wants to go where and off we go. We don't have "leaders", nor designated tail end charlies. I know the Sunday "Club" rides do. And they have a schedule, published ride courses, jerseys, membership forms, and all the other complications that come with being a "Club". I suspect some of the club members that ride with us on Saturdays appreciate getting to participate in both sorts of group rides.

I hope that your co-members do in fact thank you for organizing and leading rides. I can understand that as someone desires something even slightly more formal than "show up and ride" the logistics and liability concerns grow exponentially. I hope that your "President" can find a way to graciously accept what time and energy you do have to offer and that she and you can find someone else to absorb any additional work that "must" be done. Jerseys and sponsorship aren't "must have"s, as you are aware. A good group of supportive individuals of varying back grounds but with a shared interest is. It sounds like you have the wonderful beginings to just that.

Best of luck with finding an equitable solution. I understand the challenge all too well, as my wife has recently been forced into way more responsibility than she ever expressed interest in by her Toastmasters club, seemingly without much thought about the fact that she currently has two roles at her place of employment.
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Old 08-13-12, 11:44 PM   #24
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My vote is to give her a week to think then go have coffee or wine or beer whatever. Be very clear what your goals and intended participation level. I also strongly advise you all do the necessary chore of formulation of By-laws. If you're charging dues that might be prudent.
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Old 08-14-12, 12:00 AM   #25
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Thank you all for the advice.

I have made it clear a week ago what I was able to do and we seemed to be ok....then somehow my commenting on the WSD pump post mentioning that it was also obtainable at one of our other sponsors made her upset. She has a negative view of that sponsor and she reacted.

I have chosen to no longer contribute comments on FB as I cannot know what might be considered "unproductive"

I don't know if I intend to continue in a leadership capacity (even rides) going forward. I might just revert to being a basic club member and attend rides when convenient and be positive and enthusiastic at those rides as I enjoy riding and sharing the joy
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