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  1. #1
    Senior Member goldfinch's Avatar
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    Your most disgusting ride

    My most disgusting ride was today. I am visiting Iowa and took my hybrid on a limestone trail that goes around the small town I visit. I rode past dried and shriveled corn fields and weedy ditches through clouds of grasshoppers. They pinged as they went through my spokes. Grasshoppers landed on my bare legs, arms, hands and face. Some felt like the little fish mouths on your legs that you sometimes feel when you swim. One even landed on my lips.

    I am going to have bad dreams tonight.

  2. #2
    Senior Member guybierhaus's Avatar
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    It's all protein.
    BierHaus Bertolette Road Bike, built 2007
    BierHaus SRT Trail Bike, built 2010
    Fuji Mt. Pro - 2007

  3. #3
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by goldfinch View Post
    My most disgusting ride was today. I am visiting Iowa and took my hybrid on a limestone trail that goes around the small town I visit. I rode past dried and shriveled corn fields and weedy ditches through clouds of grasshoppers. They pinged as they went through my spokes. Grasshoppers landed on my bare legs, arms, hands and face. Some felt like the little fish mouths on your legs that you sometimes feel when you swim. One even landed on my lips.

    I am going to have bad dreams tonight.
    For me, a ride is disgusting if I'm in bad company.

  4. #4
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    goldfinch -- tons of grasshoppers = ewww!! = heebie jeebies...I'm freaked out for you.

    As for my most disgusting ride: last month I rode my bike for the first time in several months. HOT July day in Central TX. I rode a 3-mile circuit around a small man-made lake on a gravel path. Took me almost 30 minutes to get around once.

    I thought I would be smart and I wore a long-sleeved shirt made to block UV rays -- it also seemed to block any sweat evaporation at all -- ugh. One of my tires was a little low. It was so hot, I thought I was going to die. And humid?? Riding around a lake? Disgusting. I think it took me about 15 minutes sitting in the AC in my car to get close to the point of feeling halfway human again. Gross. On a side, more positive, note: I'm now getting further, faster -- like 10 miles in an hour which I know is still SLOW by most standards, but feels like a great accomplishment to me.

    Sorry about the grasshoppers, seriously. Yuk.
    --Delma
    2010 Bianchi Volpe
    200? Surly Cross-Check (still just a frame and fork waiting to be built...)

  5. #5
    Senior Member Mithrandir's Avatar
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    That would have to be this one:

    http://connect.garmin.com/activity/116754652


    I biked right through a gigantic swampland preserve that didn't show on Garmin's map utility between lap 5 and 6 (you'll see it if you switch the map mode from Bing to Google). It wasn't the swamp that was disgusting, it was the roadkill. There were thousands of dead amphibians rotting along the road; dead toads, snakes, insects of all kinds. It was utterly disgusting.



    Second place would be this one:

    http://connect.garmin.com/activity/186948334

    I get up north in the deep country farmland, and as I'm riding along on a bright clear sunny day, I notice the road ahead seems wet, but only along the very rightmost tire track of the road. The wetness seems to last up to a mile in the distance too. It was very odd.

    I get up into it... and look down to see thousands and thousands of caterpillars or millipedes or something long and leggy crawling out of the corn fields onto the roadway. The "wetness" was what could only be considered a mass grave of bugs that are continuously crushed by each passing car... as well as my bicycle. Ugh. I rode in the middle of the lane for as long as I dared, because it was a relatively fast-moving country road with cars going 55+. I turned off the road as soon as I could.
    Last edited by Mithrandir; 08-19-12 at 09:02 PM.

  6. #6
    Senior Member goldfinch's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mithrandir View Post
    That would have to be this one:

    http://connect.garmin.com/activity/116754652


    I biked right through a gigantic swampland preserve that didn't show on Garmin's map utility between lap 5 and 6 (you'll see it if you switch the map mode from Bing to Google). It wasn't the swamp that was disgusting, it was the roadkill. There were thousands of dead amphibians rotting along the road; dead toads, snakes, insects of all kinds. It was utterly disgusting.



    Second place would be this one:

    http://connect.garmin.com/activity/186948334

    I get up north in the deep country farmland, and as I'm riding along on a bright clear sunny day, I notice the road ahead seems wet, but only along the very rightmost tire track of the road. The wetness seems to last up to a mile in the distance too. It was very odd.

    I get up into it... and look down to see thousands and thousands of caterpillars or millipedes or something long and leggy crawling out of the corn fields onto the roadway. The "wetness" was what could only be considered a mass grave of bugs that are continuously crushed by each passing car... as well as my bicycle. Ugh. I rode in the middle of the lane for as long as I dared, because it was a relatively fast-moving country road with cars going 55+. I turned off the road as soon as I could.
    Ick.

  7. #7
    Senior Member CommuteCommando's Avatar
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    Dead possum this morning. Sadly I had to pass downwind.
    As much as you paid for that Beemer [Mercedies, Audi, Escalade], I'm surprised it didn't come equipped with turn signals.

  8. #8
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    Snatch the pebbles from my hand, grasshopper.

  9. #9
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    The only disgusting ride I had was getting stuck behind a guy (and couldn't get around him) who was crop dusting for about 3-4 miles.

  10. #10
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    I dislike riding in Camden when it warms up from cold weather. Smells like death in the air, especially when going by water. yuk!

  11. #11
    Senior Member Hill-Pumper's Avatar
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    Probably the most disgusting part of a ride was on the first Covered Bridge tour metric that I did. If you look close at the picture below, you will see a large sprinkler watering a field. What you don't see is the fact that the sprinkler is using cattle waste from the dairy's lagoon instead of water. The wind was blowing the mist over the road, so we were getting covered in the stuff.

  12. #12
    Bicycle Commuter Bluish Green's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hill-Pumper View Post
    Probably the most disgusting part of a ride was on the first Covered Bridge tour metric that I did. If you look close at the picture below, you will see a large sprinkler watering a field. What you don't see is the fact that the sprinkler is using cattle waste from the dairy's lagoon instead of water. The wind was blowing the mist over the road, so we were getting covered in the stuff.
    I think we have a winner! Yikes!

    Glad you survived to tell the tale...

  13. #13
    Senior Member fatpunk's Avatar
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    Finished mine yesterday. Rode around a lake on the dike and through a swamp. Dusty and muddy on white rock roads. That wasn't so bad till a really major storm came blowing in at my half way point. Then it was just straight mud, dead fish and horse crap from the horses people ride out there floating by a low point we had to ride through. To make things worst I caught my first flat 5 miles from the finish only to realize the blow out was bigger than my patch kit and my spare tube has a schrader but my new wheel was a presta with a schrader adapter on it. (DOH!!) It was a long walk back.

  14. #14
    Just Plain Slow PhotoJoe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hill-Pumper View Post
    Probably the most disgusting part of a ride was on the first Covered Bridge tour metric that I did. If you look close at the picture below, you will see a large sprinkler watering a field. What you don't see is the fact that the sprinkler is using cattle waste from the dairy's lagoon instead of water. The wind was blowing the mist over the road, so we were getting covered in the stuff.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bluish Green View Post
    I think we have a winner! Yikes!

    Glad you survived to tell the tale...
    Explains so much!
    If at first you don't succeed, Skydiving is not the sport for you!

  15. #15
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by PhotoJoe View Post
    Explains so much!
    That must have been a really sh@@@y ride.

  16. #16
    A square going nowhere psalm's Avatar
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    There is a long hill near my house, I usually attack it when I start off, but by the time I go over I'm doing under 5mph easily. This one day as I'm getting near the crest and I can see something laying on the side of the road, it looks like a black fur bag. There isn't much of a shoulder and I can hear a car coming up behind me. So I move as far over to the right as I can, I don't want to slow down too much and lose whatever momentum I have. I'm almost on top of it when I see it's a very bloated dead skunk. The fur/skin looks like it's moving and pulsating. I'm out of the saddle, on my brakes waiting for the car to get passed me so I can swerve around it. By the time the car passes my front wheel is about a foot from that black fur bag of whatever was inside of it. The car passes me, I move into the middle of the lane. I'm huffing and puffing, the image of it's fur pulsating won't leave my mind...then the smell hits me. Not just the skunk smell, but the smell of a dead animal mixed in with it. I'm trying my hardest not to breathe but I had just powered up this hill and my lungs aren't paying attention to me. It's hot, the scent is thick, I can taste the stink with every breath. Now instead of trying not to breathe, I'm trying not to lose my lunch.

    I cut my ride short that day. The memory of it right now has my stomach churning.
    01:20:23:00
    05:23:59:00

  17. #17
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    Well at least you made it over the hill, when I "attack" a hill I just hope I don't roll back down the other way and that could be very problematic in your situation.

  18. #18
    Roadie ronf100's Avatar
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    Riding at night and hitting an armadillo carcass. Will spare you the details.

  19. #19
    Banned. Mr. Beanz's Avatar
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    Been thinking but nothing compared to the gore stories here.

    On along hilly ride, competing with my training partner years ago when we used to really push one another. A series of climbs in the heat of summer. I started struggling big time and falling behind seemd odd as we were usually neck and neck to the top of each climb. Finally I couldn't push anymore. Got to the top where he waited for me. I was toast and out of bars. He offered up the second half of a Clif Bar he had tucked in the leg of his cycling shorts. Semi wrapped so I figured ok but the dude is a big time sweater and I didn't think of the consequences when I shoved the whole thing in my mouth, I needed nutrition.

    Started chewing then "GEEEEOTDAMMMM!!! Thing was soaked with sweat! By this time it was too late so I just finished it. This is the dude that riding behind him in a paceline will shower your glasses with sweat.

    Just after that I realized that I had a slow leak in my tire and that was why I was struggling up the hills. I tire repair would have been much easier than eating a sweat soaked bar!

  20. #20
    Senior Member
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    My most disgusting ride was over 20 years ago...not saying I haven't had disgusting rides since, just this was my worst!

    Decided to do the Wild Flower Century up in Paso Robles, Ca. Got a hotel room the day before... No wake up call and I had no alarm so I left the TV on all night.

    For breakfast, I had a donut. I had one bottle cage on my bike.

    Met up with a friend from work and her Dad at the start.

    Pushed off at a nice little clip of 15mph. Then after 5 minutes or so... my friend's Dad asks if she's ready...She says yes and they take off.

    This is at mile 2 or 3.

    Even listening to Wille, Waylon, and the Boys didn't get me through the 100 miles... By mile 60, I was out of water and the cow troughs were looking like a good source of water..

    Sag'd out and have never lived it down!

  21. #21
    Senior Member McCallum's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluish Green View Post
    I think we have a winner! Yikes!

    Glad you survived to tell the tale...
    +100000000000000000000000

  22. #22
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    Don't know if this qualifies as most disgusting or not, but one leg of my morning ride takes me past two chicken houses that sit fairly close to the road, so right as I get to the top of a mild hill and I'm breathing pretty hard, I get chicken house fumes for about 30 yards.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLTN View Post
    Don't know if this qualifies as most disgusting or not, but one leg of my morning ride takes me past two chicken houses that sit fairly close to the road, so right as I get to the top of a mild hill and I'm breathing pretty hard, I get chicken house fumes for about 30 yards.

    Ugh, chicken coops REEK.





    The MUP that I ride on the most follows alongside a river, and when the weather is just right, there is a wooded section that is absolutely bug-filled. On one of my first trips through, I must've swallowed/inhaled 10 pounds of bugs. I learned to carry a bandana after that.

  24. #24
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by BLTN View Post
    Don't know if this qualifies as most disgusting or not, but one leg of my morning ride takes me past two chicken houses that sit fairly close to the road, so right as I get to the top of a mild hill and I'm breathing pretty hard, I get chicken house fumes for about 30 yards.
    Decided to be adventurous yesterday and took a side road that I'd never tried and went by a cow farm. The manure stench and going up a long hill made me want to hurl until I got past. I forgot how bad a lot of cow manure smells. LOL.

  25. #25
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    I thought of another one: Sometimes the hoodlums of Camden knock over the portapotties on the bike path. YUKKKKKKK. It smells for DAYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

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