Fellow Clydes - Please Stop the Negativity to New or Returning Members.
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Fellow Clydes - Please Stop the Negativity to New or Returning Members.
My fellow clydes. I am saddened to be writing such a thread but I feel it has to be said. We are becoming "angry" and unwelcoming to new,returning or existing members. Over the summer I have noticed a definite trend of passively-insulting or outright insulting other members. Of course, this is all hidden behind the guise of "tough love" but I for one can see when people cross the line and its being crossed.
I do not want to call out individuals as they may be embarrassed or (more likely) go into a tailspin of "you are a troll" type childish retorts. I dont have the time or interest to repeatedly respond and defend in such a thread.
When I joined the clydes in 2010 I was unsure and embarrassed to be asking 'fat' questions but the responses were always supportive, helpful and most of all non-judgmental. Please people lets get back to those days. If it means a couple of people get into a sulk and leave the group -so be it. We are better off without the negativity. They rarely contribute any information on actual RIDING anyways.
Anyways, just my 2c.
I do not want to call out individuals as they may be embarrassed or (more likely) go into a tailspin of "you are a troll" type childish retorts. I dont have the time or interest to repeatedly respond and defend in such a thread.
When I joined the clydes in 2010 I was unsure and embarrassed to be asking 'fat' questions but the responses were always supportive, helpful and most of all non-judgmental. Please people lets get back to those days. If it means a couple of people get into a sulk and leave the group -so be it. We are better off without the negativity. They rarely contribute any information on actual RIDING anyways.
Anyways, just my 2c.
Last edited by magohn; 08-22-12 at 10:35 AM.
#2
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My fellow clydes. I am saddened to be writing such a thread but I feel it has to be said. We are becoming "angry" and unwelcoming to new,returning or existing members. Over the summer I have noticed a definite trend of passively-insulting or outright insulting other members. Of course, this is all hidden behind the guise of "tough love" but I for one can see when people cross the line and its being crossed.
I do not want to call out individuals as they may be embarrassed or (more likely) go into a tailspin of "your a troll" type childish retorts. I dont have the time or interest to repeatedly respond and defend in such a thread.
When I joined the clydes in 2010 I was unsure and embarrassed to be asking 'fat' questions but the responses were always supportive, helpful and most of all non-judgmental. Please people lets get back to those days. If it means a couple of people get into a sulk and leave the group -so be it. We are better off without the negativity. They rarely contribute any information on actual RIDING anyways.
Anyways, just my 2c.
I do not want to call out individuals as they may be embarrassed or (more likely) go into a tailspin of "your a troll" type childish retorts. I dont have the time or interest to repeatedly respond and defend in such a thread.
When I joined the clydes in 2010 I was unsure and embarrassed to be asking 'fat' questions but the responses were always supportive, helpful and most of all non-judgmental. Please people lets get back to those days. If it means a couple of people get into a sulk and leave the group -so be it. We are better off without the negativity. They rarely contribute any information on actual RIDING anyways.
Anyways, just my 2c.
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FWIW, I am a newbie here, and (so far) I have felt welcomed by this community. Everyone's been great!
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I have to agree. This section of the forums has gotten to be a little too snarky and a certain element of the users have gotten a little high and mighty. IMO, the purpose of this forum is to support Clydes not to rake them over the coals when they don't turn out to be perfect. Whether you are Clyde that needs to lose weight or just a big dude, being a clyde presents some unique problems when it comes to cycling and I think we should focus on trying to be supportive, helpful and at times have a sense of humor about the situation.
If you get to a point where someone annoys you or you feel it is a waste of time to read their threads, simply don't post in them. There is no need to just pop into a thread and trash someone, it accomplishes nothing but aggravating more people.
If you get to a point where someone annoys you or you feel it is a waste of time to read their threads, simply don't post in them. There is no need to just pop into a thread and trash someone, it accomplishes nothing but aggravating more people.
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#7
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Neil there is a difference between telling it like it is and being rude, purposely mean, and not contributing to the discussion and being politically correct. People can express their thoughts without being completely negative and rude.
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I have to agree. This section of the forums has gotten to be a little too snarky and a certain element of the users have gotten a little high and mighty. IMO, the purpose of this forum is to support Clydes not to rake them over the coals when they don't turn out to be perfect. Whether you are Clyde that needs to lose weight or just a big dude, being a clyde presents some unique problems when it comes to cycling and I think we should focus on trying to be supportive, helpful and at times have a sense of humor about the situation.
If you get to a point where someone annoys you or you feel it is a waste of time to read their threads, simply don't post in them. There is no need to just pop into a thread and trash someone, it accomplishes nothing but aggravating more people.
If you get to a point where someone annoys you or you feel it is a waste of time to read their threads, simply don't post in them. There is no need to just pop into a thread and trash someone, it accomplishes nothing but aggravating more people.
As I have previously stated, I dont get involved in cat-fights but something has to be said.
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LOL..... Yeah, I've been participating in forums for both work and hobbies for years..... Amazing how brave/thin skinned some folks are when they're behind a keyboard. It doesn't take me too long to find the ignore button....
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I'll chime in here as well, now. There is a difference between "tough love" and ripping someone a new one. Going to "tough love" isn't a default 1st response that's appropriate or wanted. Let's start with support, and can always escalate if truly needed, but the "tough love" post is kind of like firing a gun, in that you can't unshoot the bullet. Treat your posts toward members that are more sensitive with that in mind.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation in this. I don't want this to turn into another iteration of the Road Cycling Forum,, and want it to remain a safe place for our members that need the safety zone.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation in this. I don't want this to turn into another iteration of the Road Cycling Forum,, and want it to remain a safe place for our members that need the safety zone.
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. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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I'll chime in here as well, now. There is a difference between "tough love" and ripping someone a new one. Going to "tough love" isn't a default 1st response that's appropriate or wanted. Let's start with support, and can always escalate if truly needed, but the "tough love" post is kind of like firing a gun, in that you can't unshoot the bullet. Treat your posts toward members that are more sensitive with that in mind.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation in this. I don't want this to turn into another iteration of the Road Cycling Forum,, and want it to remain a safe place for our members that need the safety zone.
Thanks in advance for your cooperation in this. I don't want this to turn into another iteration of the Road Cycling Forum,, and want it to remain a safe place for our members that need the safety zone.
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+1 Some people have been around here a long time and built a reputation on accomplishments that have long since slipped. That's fine we all slip but to then attack new or returning members with gusto is unacceptable to me.
As I have previously stated, I dont get involved in cat-fights but something has to be said.
As I have previously stated, I dont get involved in cat-fights but something has to be said.
I know that I've managed to lose about 30 pounds to this point but I fell of the wagon a few times along the way, for a few months at a time. In the beginning I tried to lose weight and quit several times over several years. It seems to be sticking now because I figured out both how metabolism works and have the mental part of it under control. While many years ago I lived car free, did a lot of my own bike repairs and was also really into MTB riding, I'm a newbie in a lot of ways again do to bike technology. I'm probably going to say some dumb things about bikes, but not on purpose just a fact of catching up on the new stuff.
All I know is we need to remember where we all started and that there are many ups and downs along the weight loss road and for some people it may take several years of trying before things click. So, get off the high horse and help our fallen brothers or at worse simply don't attack them.
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You are assuming that anything "negative" or strongly worded must be without value. If I were to post that a diet of treacle was the best method of losing weight, and defend it repeatedly, or claim anyone over 201 pounds needed to ride a stone bike, people would be quite within their rights to make negative replies.
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Neil, let's not pull the strawman arguments out. Critique is fine, as long as it's understood that there are limits we don't cross. It's not an argument you have to "win", here. What's being asked is just for a bit more sensitivity on some member's part, and extend the courtesy that you'd like to get as well as give. If your critique causes the member to discount all you say later, because you were too harsh, you've lost an opportunity to help that member later, forever and always.
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. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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You are assuming that anything "negative" or strongly worded must be without value. If I were to post that a diet of treacle was the best method of losing weight, and defend it repeatedly, or claim anyone over 201 pounds needed to ride a stone bike, people would be quite within their rights to make negative replies.
You can simply say "I disagree and here's why" or "IMO the best way is".
IMO, there is simply no call for tearing someone apart over their failings, if you feel that you've done what you can to help or that the person isn't taking your advice you can simply not post in response to them.
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BTW, any member that feels the same about me, save us all some trouble and click me into ignore as well!
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all i know is that I have seen 2 threads locked (one was unlocked after some editing and cool down) recently and you never used to see threads locked in this forum. I expect thread locking in A&S, not this forum.
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#20
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Neil, let's not pull the strawman arguments out. Critique is fine, as long as it's understood that there are limits we don't cross. It's not an argument you have to "win", here. What's being asked is just for a bit more sensitivity on some member's part, and extend the courtesy that you'd like to get as well as give. If your critique causes the member to discount all you say later, because you were too harsh, you've lost an opportunity to help that member later, forever and always.
I l'll also add that insulting, bashing or getting snarky with people because you don't think they are taking your advice or applying it doesn't help anyone and only stirs up more drama. If people feel like their advice is being ignored or not applied then simply stop giving that person your advice and leave it at that. Believe it or not, your ideas will not always click with everyone else.
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Neil, let's not pull the strawman arguments out. Critique is fine, as long as it's understood that there are limits we don't cross. It's not an argument you have to "win", here. What's being asked is just for a bit more sensitivity on some member's part, and extend the courtesy that you'd like to get as well as give. If your critique causes the member to discount all you say later, because you were too harsh, you've lost an opportunity to help that member later, forever and always.
As you know from here and elsewhere, I'm a free speech advocate, so anything smacking of political correctness I find to be wrong. If good ideas fight with bad ideas, the good wins.
Last edited by CbadRider; 08-22-12 at 10:20 AM. Reason: Removed unnecessary remark
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It's a great day to be alive & to be able to ride a bike ...... have a great day & ride if your riding later everyone
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I have had the privilege of knowing 31 diabetics that have since passed away.
Tough Love early in there life may have saved them.
They may not accept it the time.. Wake Up calls are never fun.
I am not afraid to Tough Love someone if will help.
Tough Love early in there life may have saved them.
They may not accept it the time.. Wake Up calls are never fun.
I am not afraid to Tough Love someone if will help.
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My problem with that binge was stress. Stress is a trigger for eating for me, as well as a lot of other people. I posted that here on this forum because I thought that I was among people who have been or were currently going through something similar. It has been the bane of my existence here since then. I made a mistake. I ****ed up. I realized that and tried to fix it. I posted it here to hold myself accountable with like minded people who would understand. You and a few others took it and ran with it though.
Im a big guy. Im a tough guy. I dont let things bother me too much because that adds stress to my life which is the one area that I am the weakest. Stress is my downfall, and here, on these forums where you would expect a little support from people who have been there done that, I get stress. Not from everyone, but from YOU and a few of your cronies.
I mentioned earlier about leaving these forums for good. Not because I cant ride my bike because of health reasons, or because of being on a truck and not having a regular schedule to ride, but because of YOU! That's right, Neil B. Like I said, Im not an overly sensitive person, but I can only take so much. I only wish you could see the amount of PM's that I have gotten from people claiming their disgust at your behavior and your comments towards me. Not just your comments, but those of your little group here who think you are elite in the clyde forums. Because of those PM's I decided to just stay and not to cause any waves here...not to give you the satisfaction. Im not going anywhere. And I have a confession to make -
I DID eat that pizza, I DID eat that candy, I DID drink that Coke that day. I was there. I tasted it all. I felt the fullness. I hated myself for doing it. I admit it. Now, can you just leave it alone and stop interjecting it in to every post I make? I did it all. Will I ever do that again? who knows? Im human. I have my triggers. Stress being one of them. Maybe Ill get stressed out really bad one day and eat a lot...then Ill turn around and do the right thing to try to erase what I did. Im not perfect. Im not going to NOT make mistakes. But I WILL bounce back from those mistakes.
/rant.
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Unfortunately, it appears that the damage has been done. I sense some changed attitudes towards me, and not for the better either. Also, seeing new posters get so harshly criticized for making mistakes is unsettling. This is the reason that my uber-Clyde friend didn't post his own videos when he started making them. He has seen what I and other people go through on forums, and he wants no part of it. His job is stressful enough. He doesn't want to deal with stupidity and stress when he's not at work.
He had me post the videos because, at over 400 pounds, he thought it might be inspiring to other people who are trying to lose weight and get stronger. I'm pretty proud of his progress so far. I think his videos are more impressive than mine. After all, I'm climbing at only 20-30 pounds overweight (150 lbs or so for a 5' 4" female). He is climbing at 200 lbs overweight. I am convinced that he will be a pretty good climber when he reaches his weight loss goal.