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  1. #1
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Failure



    EDIT: If you're opening this thread for the first time, be aware that I've decided to do the South Beach Diet, so there is no need to offer alternate diet plans. Thank you.




    Shortly after I first joined BikeForums in 2008, I declared myself a Clyde Emeritus, getting just under 200 lb. My history is that I lost 70 lb. in 2005 on the South Beach Diet, from 240 lb. to 170. Being 6'-2", my low point (168) felt too skinny for my bones, so I intentionally gained a little weight back.... and then a little more crept back and a little more....

    I started riding my bike in 2008. At that time I was over 200 lb., and lost enough weight to get out of the Clydes. Then I gained a bit... and a bit more.

    I felt okay though because, unlike in 2005 when I was dieting and not exercising, I was getting a decent amount of exercise riding the bike.

    So I feel reasonably good, but I'm approaching my max weight, 240 lb., again. It sucks. I am trying to figure out how to approach a reboot of my weight loss. I did great on South Beach Diet in 2005, but my family situation has changed. Back then I had two teenaged sons at home, plus my wife and I. Now we are (more or less) empty nesters and my wife is a vegetarian. SBD is a lot harder to do under those conditions.

    Maybe I should post a "before" picture to document where I'm starting from again.

    Any constructive advice would be welcome.
    Last edited by Doohickie; 09-11-12 at 11:34 AM.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  2. #2
    The Site Administrator: Currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes,please contact my assistnt admins for forum issues Tom Stormcrowe's Avatar
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    First of, you aren't a failure, you've just issued yourself a new challenge.....happens to all of us. Ya did it before and you'll do it again.
    on light duty due to illness; please contact my assistants for forum issues. They are Siu Blue Wind, or CbadRider or the other 3 star folk. I am currently at home recovering from a couple of strokes. I am making good progress, happily.


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  3. #3
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    I'm not a failure because I'm not giving up, but I have failed to keep my weight off, so *that* is a failure.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  4. #4
    Starting over CraigB's Avatar
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    You're far from alone, Doohickie. I myself have gone from a low of 189.5 to almost 210 over the past year or so. I'm having the devil's own time trying to get back on track.

    It happens to many/most of us. Now, whether that makes you feel better or worse is up to you. I only offer it as information.
    Craig in Indy

  5. #5
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    I think the important thing to do is find a way to eat healthy that you can maintain for life. South Beach diets and the like are difficult for most people to stay on for life. You are eating right if you don't feel like you're on a diet and still losing weight or maintaining, depending on your goals.

    IME, it works best when you don't put any foods on a "banned" list. I think being able to still have the foods you love (only in smaller portions) is what makes it a lifestyle change and not a diet.

    I may seem like I promote Spark People, but it's really a great, free website for losing weight and making it a lifestyle. Count your calories, follow the SP plan and you can lose weight and maintain it. I have had a lot more luck losing weight since using SP.

    As always, let me know if I can help.


    If you join up you can friend me:

    http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=MCROW3

    Bike forums are good support for cycling and losing weight but SP can be another tool to add to the belt.

  6. #6
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    South Beach was actually very easy for me to follow, and I would have stayed on it indefinitely, except that it becomes difficult to cook a Meat meal for just one and a Veggie meal for just one. I think the diet aspect is that I need to come up with meals that suit both me and my wife. I suppose I could shift my meat intake to lunch and keep dinners vegetarian.

    A little clarification on the SBD- I executed Phase I (first couple weeks) and Phase II (weight loss) flawlessly, and had no problem feeling comfortable eating off the Phase II menu. Where I failed (due partly to hubris, I thought I had my weight totally under control), was in the Phase III maintenance phase. Instead of going back to the book and reviewing Phase III, I stayed on Phase II. When I lost too much weight, I went off plan for a while and gained a few pounds back, then back to Phase II, then off plan, and it started a cycle where I was gaining just a little bit now and then and, well, look at me now.
    Last edited by Doohickie; 08-22-12 at 12:24 PM.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  7. #7
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    South Beach was actually very easy for me to follow, and I would have stayed on it indefinitely, except that it becomes difficult to cook a Meat meal for just one and a Veggie meal for just one. I think the diet aspect is that I need to come up with meals that suit both me and my wife. I suppose I could shift my meat intake to lunch and keep dinners vegetarian.

    A little clarification on the SBD- I executed Phase I (first couple weeks) and Phase II (weight loss) flawlessly, and had no problem feeling comfortable eating off the Phase II menu. Where I failed (due partly to hubris, I thought I had my weight totally under control), was in the Phase III maintenance phase. Instead of going back to the book and reviewing Phase III, I stayed on Phase II. When I lost too much weight, I went off plan for a while and gained a few pounds back, then back to Phase II, then off plan, and it started a cycle where I was gaining just a little bit now and then and, well, look at me now.
    Gottcha.

    Then it sounds like you found the way to do it, just need tweak things to fit your current life. Would your wife be interested in doing the SBD with you? If not, then counting calories would probably work better for you and your wife given that it would be much easier to find meals you'd both like that way. Do you eat all of your meals together or mostly just diner? If it is just one meal a day ther are ways to accommodate the SBD.

  8. #8
    Senior Member eja_ bottecchia's Avatar
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    Is some of the weight do to greater muscle mass? I lost a ton of weight then gained some back. But my clothes fit the same as when I lost all the weight(in other words, I've not had to buy new suits for work).

    My doc says that my legs, includingnthighs, are bigger now, so that accounts for some of the weight re-gain.

    I am not built like Wiggo, I am more of a sprinter's built.

    Regardless, you will do fine. You are not a failure ... You have the right mental attitude.

    Bonne chance!
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  9. #9
    SuperGimp TrojanHorse's Avatar
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    Are you able to satisfactorily ride your bike while South Beach Dieting? My wife and i did atkins for about 7 months a few years ago and I lost a bunch of weight but I felt tired & lacked energy relative to my normal fat self.

    Rather than starting a particular diet Id suggest watching and recording what you eat- there are about 40 different ways to skin that cat. When I'm not doing that, my weight always goes up because I'm not really paying attention to the little things I do to cheat. YMMV.

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    Senior Member Allen55's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcrow View Post
    Gottcha.

    Would your wife be interested in doing the SBD with you?
    If shes a vegetarian, SBD wont work for her.
    Allen
    Riding since 09-16-2011
    TREK 7000

  11. #11
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Allen55 View Post
    If shes a vegetarian, SBD wont work for her.
    Ahhh.....missed that part.


    Seems like if he's a meat eater and she's not there is always going to some difficult in sharing meals.

  12. #12
    Carpe Velo Yo Spiff's Avatar
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    You are a lot taller than myself and I never considered you a clyde. 240 at your height is less than the 209 I am at now (after losing 77 pounds). But I can appreciate it's not where you are comfortable at.

    I'm not the best one for advice, though. I don't count calories or stick to any rigid diet. Just trying to make better choices without feeling like I'm depriving myself. And riding the snot out of my bike. My wieght loss has slowed down, but I'm also putting in a lot more miles. The weight loss is gravy, though. Keeping the BP down and all of those other 50+ issues in check is the main thing.
    2000 Bianchi Veloce, '88 Schwinn Prologue, '88 Trek 900, '92 Trek T100, 2000 Rans Tailwind

  13. #13
    Senior Member goldfinch's Avatar
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    I am a meat eater and my husband a vegetarian. Culturally, it just doesn't work for him to have meat in the house. So I adapt when we are together. We probably live together six months out of the year as we both have different travel and other interests. Portion control is key. I have to be pretty darn meticulous about counting calories when I am not cooking for myself. It really isn't the different diet, it is the fact that my husband is such a good cook.

    When I am alone I eat meat regularly, mostly shrimp, lobster, fish, fowl, and venison. If your spouse isn't a religious vegetarian maybe it would work to have meals where you share some dishes and have some dishes you don't share. I often would make things like chicken soup and freeze individual portions. Or I would cook an entire chicken and then strip it of skin and bones and freeze individual portions. I would use them on salads or whatever. Shrimp is also easy to prepare and throw on a salad.

    I think the reason diets like South Beach and many others fail is the same reason that they work. They have a set of rules. If you follow the clear set of rules you will lose weight. But rules can be tedious and life can intervene and you break the rules. Once you break the rules the tendency is to ditch the rule. You have to figure out what set of rules works best for you and your life for the long haul. Even a balanced diet with portion control is a set of rules.

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    Travelling hopefully chasm54's Avatar
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    What question are you asking, really? You seem like an intelligent person, you know perfectly well that if you eat fewer calories than you burn you will lose weight, what advice can we give you?

    I am not trying to be difficult. I started at about your weight. I returned to cycling and got keen and lost over thirty pounds. And then my weight bounced around the 200-205 level for a couple of years. I have only very recently got serious again and moved below 200, on the way, I confidently assert, to <180 and a BMI of 22. I know it's difficult. If it weren't, I'd have been 180lbs three years ago.

    However, you know as well as I do that if you want it enough you will make it happen. You'll concentrate again on what you are eating, and discover anew that it is pretty straightforward to satisfy your appetite without consuming too many calories. But don't rely on some fad diet, because at some point you'll have to return to a life that's worth living and does not revolve around rules.

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    Senior Member Homeyba's Avatar
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    If she's a vegetarian why don't you just follow along with her be a vegetarian too?
    It doesn't get harder, you just go slower.

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    Time goes by, and the body takes a toll. Not saying it's impossible, but just to account for the time factor when defining goals so to make them realistically attainable and not have to deal with the psychological issues of "trying very hard and not seeing results".

    Life happens, twists and changes and sometimes brings things that are not necessarily desired. With the right attitude (your attitude), and simple action plans, things can change for the better.

    I hear you about how impractical it is to cook for one person when there's only two at home. Ever explored the vegetarian world (beyond what you see your wife eating everyday)? There are a lot of new cooking techniques and recipes that make vegetarian version of old time "meat classics" and the results are actually not bad. Perhaps that could be an interesting exploring exercise that you can enjoy together. You wont jump with both feet into becoming a full time veg., but just having a few meals/week replaced by the veggie version may help with weight loss in the long run.

    Good luck

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    In my household of me, wife, 3 daughters, I am the only vegetarian. As such I often am "cooking for one" which I'll agree is tough sometimes.

    What I have turned that into, though, is cooking enough for two, or more, meals. I eat my dinner, then pack my lunch for the next day, and then freeze anything beyond that. This has a few good benefits, IMO: it seems easier/cheaper to cook "in bulk" and I don't have to worry about being tempted to buy my lunch at some fast-food place the next day (which is also a money saver and portion-controller).


    I will second the advice above about, perhaps, sharing a vegetarian dinner with your wife from time to time. Good way to cut back on saturated fats and bump up fiber intake.

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    Have you thought about what changed in your life, mindset, etc that caused you to slip? As others say, you probably know very well about calories in/out, etc. But if you don't know why your eating habits changed, no diet will help.

    I kept 38 lbs off for almost 3 years. I thought i had it all figured out and would never go back to my old weight. But here I am, in a slow but steady slide back to my old weight. I've gained about 20lbs back. I am eating out of depression basically. I have to figure out how to stop comforting myself with food. My excuses are the usual...I don't have time, I'm tired, it's too hard. But I did it before, and I know that I can do it again. It's hard to find the motivation to and strength to do it. But I haven't stopped trying, and I guess that is the important thing

    Good luck, hang in there!

  19. #19
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    I'm not a failure because I'm not giving up, but I have failed to keep my weight off, so *that* is a failure.
    Hmm. As the newly appointed Person Responsible for People Leaving the Clyde Forum, I can't agree. You've had the benefits of weight loss for several years, and you've learned techniques to make it happen again. Also, did you expect to spend the rest of your days coasting on your achieving goal weight? I hope not, because maintaining is a process. It's only a failure if you expected losing the weight was once and done. Or if you insist on considering your minor setback a failure, in which case no one can persuade you otherwise.

  20. #20
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chasm54 View Post
    What question are you asking, really? You seem like an intelligent person, you know perfectly well that if you eat fewer calories than you burn you will lose weight, what advice can we give you?

    I am not trying to be difficult. I started at about your weight. I returned to cycling and got keen and lost over thirty pounds. And then my weight bounced around the 200-205 level for a couple of years. I have only very recently got serious again and moved below 200, on the way, I confidently assert, to <180 and a BMI of 22. I know it's difficult. If it weren't, I'd have been 180lbs three years ago.

    However, you know as well as I do that if you want it enough you will make it happen. You'll concentrate again on what you are eating, and discover anew that it is pretty straightforward to satisfy your appetite without consuming too many calories. But don't rely on some fad diet, because at some point you'll have to return to a life that's worth living and does not revolve around rules.
    A lot of what you say resonates. The one benefit of being on a "fad diet," as you call it, is that *I* wasn't in charge of what I ate; I pretty much gave all those decisions over to the diet. Once I got into the swing of it, it was very easy. Eventually it was a habit and not a diet. Where I ran into trouble was once I had lost enough weight, I didn't properly maintain. My fault, I know. Assuming I can lose the weight again, I'll pay a lot more attention to transition to maintenance.

    Quote Originally Posted by Homeyba View Post
    If she's a vegetarian why don't you just follow along with her be a vegetarian too?
    Because I like meat. Next question?

    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfwerx View Post
    In my household of me, wife, 3 daughters, I am the only vegetarian. As such I often am "cooking for one" which I'll agree is tough sometimes.

    What I have turned that into, though, is cooking enough for two, or more, meals. I eat my dinner, then pack my lunch for the next day, and then freeze anything beyond that. This has a few good benefits, IMO: it seems easier/cheaper to cook "in bulk" and I don't have to worry about being tempted to buy my lunch at some fast-food place the next day (which is also a money saver and portion-controller).


    I will second the advice above about, perhaps, sharing a vegetarian dinner with your wife from time to time. Good way to cut back on saturated fats and bump up fiber intake.
    Part of the problem is that it isn't just cooking two or three meals for myself, but also for my wife. Then we have too many leftovers in the fridge and get discouraged because we end up throwing a lot of them out.

    Quote Originally Posted by Penny4 View Post
    Have you thought about what changed in your life, mindset, etc that caused you to slip? As others say, you probably know very well about calories in/out, etc. But if you don't know why your eating habits changed, no diet will help.

    I kept 38 lbs off for almost 3 years. I thought i had it all figured out and would never go back to my old weight. But here I am, in a slow but steady slide back to my old weight. I've gained about 20lbs back. I am eating out of depression basically. I have to figure out how to stop comforting myself with food. My excuses are the usual...I don't have time, I'm tired, it's too hard. But I did it before, and I know that I can do it again. It's hard to find the motivation to and strength to do it. But I haven't stopped trying, and I guess that is the important thing

    Good luck, hang in there!
    I think that's a big part of it; I need to do some self-examination and figure out how to change my current trajectory. Not just the nuts and bolts, but also the motivation.

    Quote Originally Posted by Neil_B View Post
    Hmm. As the newly appointed Person Responsible for People Leaving the Clyde Forum, I can't agree. You've had the benefits of weight loss for several years, and you've learned techniques to make it happen again. Also, did you expect to spend the rest of your days coasting on your achieving goal weight? I hope not, because maintaining is a process. It's only a failure if you expected losing the weight was once and done. Or if you insist on considering your minor setback a failure, in which case no one can persuade you otherwise.
    Oh, was that you? I was wondering what that other thread was all about. I think that's the problem I had, Neil. When I got to what should have been Phase III of SBD, I *didn't* go back to the book and figure out what I should be doing to maintain. Instead I jumped in and out of Phase II. It worked for a while, and I thought I could just do it forever. Oops, I guess I was wrong.

    Luckily, I have some support. Yo Spiff reminded me about this thread last night on our ride. My plan all along was that to eat dinner at the ride stop (a snooty bbq place run by cable chef Tim Love), since I hadn't been there before. I don't think my dinner was excessive, but Yo Spiff threatened to take a picture of me stuffing my face and posting it to this thread (I'm not so sure he didn't take a pic, so maybe he will!)

    What I'm thinking about at this point is going back to Phase I of SBD. Do it religiously like I did last time. Just work it out with the wife that while I'm doing that, we won't be eating the same things unless I find a SBD dinner that is vegetarian (I think there were a few things). It's only two weeks I think. Get through that, then transition over to SBD Phase II for breakfast and lunch (which we usually eat separately), and do a combination of shared vegetarian dinners with occasional SBD-based dinners with meat.

    I think SBD will support my current level of cycling activity; I really don't do hard rides. I don't wear a heart monitor or anything, but my rides are probably 80-90% just idling along and a comfortable pace, and 10-20% pushing hard to climb a hill or make a traffic light. Anyway, the outline is forming in my head.

    The Failure in the title of this thread, I think, is the recognition that, in Neil's words, I can't just coast and expect to control my weight. Time to take a hands-on approach again.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  21. #21
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by Doohickie View Post
    Oh, was that you? I was wondering what that other thread was all about. I think that's the problem I had, Neil. When I got to what should have been Phase III of SBD, I *didn't* go back to the book and figure out what I should be doing to maintain. Instead I jumped in and out of Phase II. It worked for a while, and I thought I could just do it forever. Oops, I guess I was wrong.

    Luckily, I have some support. Yo Spiff reminded me about this thread last night on our ride. My plan all along was that to eat dinner at the ride stop (a snooty bbq place run by cable chef Tim Love), since I hadn't been there before. I don't think my dinner was excessive, but Yo Spiff threatened to take a picture of me stuffing my face and posting it to this thread (I'm not so sure he didn't take a pic, so maybe he will!)

    What I'm thinking about at this point is going back to Phase I of SBD. Do it religiously like I did last time. Just work it out with the wife that while I'm doing that, we won't be eating the same things unless I find a SBD dinner that is vegetarian (I think there were a few things). It's only two weeks I think. Get through that, then transition over to SBD Phase II for breakfast and lunch (which we usually eat separately), and do a combination of shared vegetarian dinners with occasional SBD-based dinners with meat.

    I think SBD will support my current level of cycling activity; I really don't do hard rides. I don't wear a heart monitor or anything, but my rides are probably 80-90% just idling along and a comfortable pace, and 10-20% pushing hard to climb a hill or make a traffic light. Anyway, the outline is forming in my head.

    The Failure in the title of this thread, I think, is the recognition that, in Neil's words, I can't just coast and expect to control my weight. Time to take a hands-on approach again.
    I'm glad you are in a better frame of mind and have formed a plan to get you through, although I remain disappointed I didn't drive you from the forum. Perhaps the threatened photo will give me another chance.

  22. #22
    Pedal Pusher/Pundit mcrow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neil_B View Post
    Hmm. As the newly appointed Person Responsible for People Leaving the Clyde Forum, I can't agree. You've had the benefits of weight loss for several years, and you've learned techniques to make it happen again. Also, did you expect to spend the rest of your days coasting on your achieving goal weight? I hope not, because maintaining is a process. It's only a failure if you expected losing the weight was once and done. Or if you insist on considering your minor setback a failure, in which case no one can persuade you otherwise.
    Neil, I know you took some flak in the other thread but do we really need to derail threads and troll people as a result with this "newly appounted Person Responsible for People Leaving the Clyde Forum" stuff? It really seems hypocritical to go on like this when you were accusing people of being hypersensative and somehow not allowing your free speech.

    I think you are good guy and have a lot to contribute to these forums but this self appointed martyrdom isn't going to help the mood of the forums.

  23. #23
    Neil_B
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    Quote Originally Posted by mcrow View Post
    Neil, I know you took some flak in the other thread but do we really need to derail threads and troll people as a result with this "newly appounted Person Responsible for People Leaving the Clyde Forum" stuff? It really seems hypocritical to go on like this when you were accusing people of being hypersensative and somehow not allowing your free speech.

    I think you are good guy and have a lot to contribute to these forums but this self appointed martyrdom isn't going to help the mood of the forums.
    Its not a troll. It's a title I was granted. Also, some people need to get a sense of humor.

  24. #24
    You gonna eat that? Doohickie's Avatar
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    Let it drop, mcrow. It was a throw-away remark on Neil's part and he got back on topic. If you want to start a side conversation with him, take it to IM.

    EDIT: Both of you... take it to IM.
    I stop for people / whose right of way I honor / but not for no one.



    Originally Posted by bragi "However, it's never a good idea to overgeneralize."

  25. #25
    Senior Member Allen55's Avatar
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    "I am trying to figure out how to approach a reboot of my weight loss."

    ^^ this. THIS proves to me that you arent a failure. Did you lighten up a bit? Yes. Did you get lax a bit? yep. Do we ALL do that at times? You bet. The thing that sets you apart from people who truly "fail" is that you got knocked off of your horse, you got up and dusted yourself off, and now you are getting right back to work to do something about what happened. You havent failed, you have
    succeeded. You have succeeded in the battle. You havent won the war yet, but you are going to win the battle because you HAVENT GIVEN UP! Had you given up, THEN you would have failed.

    Keep going brother. You will win by whatever means necessary!
    Allen
    Riding since 09-16-2011
    TREK 7000

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