Hey Mike, it's me, Mike. Or should I say it's you? Anyway, it's you from last August.
Oh, hey dude! You're one of my favorite people!
Thanks, I like you too, but listen, we need to talk.
Wow, OK, this sounds serious.
It is. Remember how last June we started riding our bike a whole lot? Like, every day.
Yea, sure I do.
Well, I'm sure you remember that at first it really sucked. It hurt, you were out of shape, and you felt stupid being this giant fat guy in stretchy clothes on a bike slowing everyone down.
Sure, sure, I remember, but I got past that!
You did, and I'm proud of us. If you remember a couple of weeks went by, you started feeling better, and after a couple of months you felt better than ever. You lost like 50 pounds and the reason you felt better was because you were eating a lot better and exercising.
I know, I'm a pretty smart guy.
Sure we are. So smart that there was this point in September where you got worried. It was getting colder, the days got shorter, and you were afraid that if you stopped riding you might fall back into old habits. You promised me, us, that you would remember that after a long winter of not riding and eating holiday food it was really important to get back on that bike, even if you didn't feel like it. If you didn't you'd start to feel like crap again. You'd feel tired, sick, and depressed and you'd do something to feel better like eating a whole bag of kettle corn or 3 bowls of ice cream.
Yea, OK. Only you'd feel better for like 10 minutes and then you'd feel like a bigger piece of crap because you ate badly and are not exercising. It's that cycle. You knew you'd have to deal with that again and you said you wouldn't forget.
OK, yea, I remember all of that.
Do you? Because this morning you were telling Donna that you felt like poop and were depressed. Wake up, idiot, you forgot.
Yea, "Oh." I'm here to remind you. I know, I know, you have a lot going on and you don't have time and the weather hasn't been great and you're tired today and you don't feel like it and you promise you'll start tomorrow and the muffins taste so good and maybe another coffee will perk you up.... Ass! It won't! Get back to drinking water. Lay off the crap food and start riding again. All of the weight you feel on your shoulders right now will come off, I promise.
Wow, you're right. I'll start keeping track on My Fitness Pal starting right now. Tomorrow is Saturday, I'll go for a ride and make sure I ride all next week, no matter the weather.
You better. You've been saying that for 2 months. Stop being a little b**ch and do it.
Wow, do you need to be such a jerk?
Apparently. I've been nice to us for the past 3 months and it isn't working. Wake up and get back out there. You'll thank you later.