ajbeck21

I can't seem to get back to it like before. I started at 389# got down to 268# then some bad thing happened in my life over the last year. Now I'm 294# steadily gaining weight. I just don't have the motivation anymore. PLEASE HELP

IAmCosmo

Unfortunately, nobody can give you motivation. You have to do it yourself.

But, I'll share my motivation with you. I have promised myself a new bike when I hit my goal weight (199#). I can get it now, but I'm using it as motivation to reach my goal.

You have to have that carrot dangling out there if you want the horse to chase it.

Just think back to how good you felt about dropping all that weight. Bad stuff happens. That's nothing new. Just remember bad stuff is only temporary. And sometimes you have to take a step backwards to be able to go forward again.

ajbeck21

I rewarded myself with a new gunnar crosshairs at 100# lost so another new bike, my wife will kill me

Bockman

What were the bad things which happened, aj? I'm really sorry to read of your troubles...

Crankaddict

You made the first step forward by admitting to yourself that you are having trouble. You made the second step forward by posting and asking for help. The third step forward will be getting on the bike for just a short ride to make sure everything on the bike is working properly.

Don't let the bad stuff keep you off of your bike for 5 years like it did me.
Good luck to you. I know you can do it.

turtlewoman

Hi AJ,
I have been trying to get motivated to do some kind of exercise for quite some time. I just couldn't find it in me to do it. But something about commuting to work appeals to me. There's a guy at work who does it and he is super nice. He has offered advice and support to me despite my looking so out of shape. He believes I can do it. But that's not what made me get the bike and start riding. First it was getting the bike. I couldn't afford to buy one--kept looking and looking on CL but everything was either just wrong for some reason or too expensive. Then I found out about the collective. They were closed at the time--moving to a new location. Another stumbling block. But I kept checking up on them until I found out where they had moved. So it was really the pursuit of the bike itself that got me geared up. Then it was working on it and feeling the pride of doing it myself (with help of course). After all that how could I not ride it. And I have kept up working on maintainance and fixing it up. I changed the grips, I added lights, I put on a rack bag. Then we got my partner a bike and that was a whole ordeal of looking everywhere and finally finding it on CL. So, now I have a partner to ride with. It's just all been a progression. I don't know that any of this will help with your motivation. But it was finally there for me. I wanted it for a long time and then there it was.
Don't beat yourself up. That's the worst thing we do to ourselves. Just accept. When the time is right, it will be right. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Kate

ajbeck21

I'm Aj my wife's Becky. My wife and lost our baby 6 months into the pregnancy we both took it extremely hard and I had surgery on my rear end which keep me off my bike for 6 months or so PS were pregnant again which were very happy about but also scared to death at the same time because of last time

takingcontrol

Motivation, Focus on the good, don't dwell on the bad. You are pregnant, (you as in you and your wife) focus on the joy that your new child will bring. Plan on getting healthy so you can enjoy every-moment you can with your child. A person can crush themselves dreading everything bad that could happen. It is better to plan for the best and your future with your child. congratulations.

P.S. right now is the moment, not later, now.

Neil_B

My condolences to you and your wife for the loss of your child. I'm very sorry to read of it.

You've done the most important steps with your weight gain - noticing it and deciding to take action. Now it's a matter of following through.

Mazama

Go ride. If anything, just to clear your mind and get some fresh air. Get a bike for your wife and you two roll out and have some fun together. Despite your terrible hardship, life continues on. You need to find something to do together to strengthen your bond. You will have another chance, my mother lost 2 children before she had me. Best wishes.

txvintage

I have found my bike to be the greatest form of therapy for what troubles the world may bring. The bike will also help you become more fit and healthy for your new family member when he/she arrives. You have grand children to look forward to.

Might as well take some steps to make sure you are around and able to enjoy those special years that are headed your way.

ajbeck21

Thanks for all the kind words. I went out for a 16 mile ride yesterday evening which was great.

StephenH

Get yourself in shape so you're still around to raise your kids and see your grandkids and their kids. That should be a motivation.

ajbeck21

(bump) Straight from the archives, just a little up date......

I am 363 lbs
I have a 3 year old little girl that is a hand full to say the least......
I have my own business
I have a new home in a new city
I have excruciating knee pain in both knees
I have plantar fasciitis in my right foot
I was told that i'm pre diabetic
I have not ridded my bikes in quite a while
I am total stressed, out of shape, fatigued and suffering from Anxiety attacks.......
I have periodic pain in my left shoulder
I had to have my gall bladder removed
I also had to have the nail on my large left toe removed
I have problems with my stomach constantly
Oh yeah my hair is TURNING GRAY AND FALLING OUT

I will be 31 on the 27th of this month, I honestly don't know if I'll see 40 just from the way I feel right now......

hotwheels

You need to see a Dr and an R.D. to specifically address your eating and exercise habits. AJ, I'm really concerned for you and your family. I know from first hand experience that running your own business can be completely overwhelming to all other aspects of your life. It's encouraging that you've come here to post an update. You're thinking this through. My weight loss began with a diet rich in vegetables and fruits and very low in any fat. That has worked for me. My taste buds changed and I crave healthy foods now. I share this just to throw out an idea. A similar approach may work for you. Lastly, I think fear can motivate but ultimately what motivates you may be a love for riding, eating healthy, walking and feeling good. Think about doing all of that with your wife and the little one for 70 more years. Keep posting and thinking about this. No judgements, all encouragement and respect for a tough situation.

ajbeck21

Thanks for the encouragement. I don't want to come across as complaining, but sometimes its good for the soul just to vent....
It seems I just can't get back into the groove. I know I need to do it, I want to do it, I just can't seem to do it, IT SUCKS......

Judi

I know how you feel...I was riding a lot, I had lost some weight and I felt like I was making good progress. Then I got a stress fracture in my foot, and I gave up on exercising and started eating too much again and the weight that I had lost came back, plus a lot more. Now I'm starting over.

The way I think of it is, anything good that I do today will be better than my days have been in the past year. I'm not thinking in terms of all the weight I have to lose, I'm making little goals at a time, say 20 lbs. Because if I think about all the weight I need to lose, it seems overwhelming...but if I think of 20 lbs, well, anyone can lose 20 lbs and that doesn't seem that hard.

I've found that getting out there and riding or walking (which is harder on the knees but feels like more exercise) helps with my anxiety. I feel like I'm getting things done and that helps me worry a little less about the things that I can't fix or at least can't change overnight.

I used to have lots of trouble with plantar fasciitis. I've been wearing (ugly) okabashi sandals and haven't had any plantar fasciitis trouble in three years. It takes about two weeks to break in the sandals but if you can get past those two weeks, then they help a lot because they have a tall, firm arch.

And hey, if you're losing your hair, it means you're on your way to being a sexy bald man! And the world always needs more sexy bald men

goldfinch

You might look at cognitive behavioral therapy, which can help with the anxiety and with the eating.

ajbeck21

The wife and I joined WW yesterday, she also joined a exercise thing called The Bar Method.......
They claim I can eat "71 points"..... I don't think I eat that much now......

crzycrzyluv

You can do it buddy. The power of positive thinking is amazing. Try to appreciate you sight without being blind. For that is wrong, if you take a breather and look at all that isn't wrong it might really be helpful. Maybe looking at each item on you list and counter balancing it with a solution or positive thing might help.

You list seems connected, and the common denominator is stress. Exercise is a powerful tool, for depression, anxiety and stress.
Kudos to you on WW and not giving up.

ajbeck21

thank you for the encouragement........

breadbin

sorry for your loss aj, thats awful hope ye are getting through it ok. try not to beat yourself up about the weight. there are plenty people that will do that for you. i suffer from motivation issues too and probably cos i work so hard i just recover on my days off! i find that if i make a date with someone to go out for a spin i have the highest chance of actually going out. are there local clubs in the area? would help with motivation and meeting new people. sounds like you could do with a good spin to get some of that anxiety and stress out of you! its a vicious circle but lots of people here to help inspire.

Bill Kapaun

Get your butt on the bike and ride at least 1 mile every day! The first one is the hardest. Once you get moving, the 2nd one comes easy.

JakiChan

Maybe you need a program that provides more structure? That's what worked in my program. The more structure, it seems, the better I do.

McCallum

Would hearing that you could not be diabetic be motivating? I was on meds @290lbs (not bad 150 Fasting Blood sugar about 25 points over the "You are diabetic number). Lost 100 lbs (got down to 181) and am no longer needing meds for that or High blood pressure (though I am now back to 210ish and the BP is a bit higher than I would like). I also have been able to stop using the sleep apnea machine at night (again with the wt gain I hear I am beginning to sore again --- not good sign).

Basically though you and only you can make the choice to eat correctly. I will tell you I know what it means to have to stop a stress eating binge and a bored to all get out binge. I know what it is like to have to track every bite that goes in my mouth but IF I AM GOING TO GET HEALTHY I MUST DO ALL THREE! I also know what it is like to get on the bike or walk out the door to walk 3 to 6 miles, again I have to do this to be healthy/regain health.

There are three rule to this life style (These are not mine but some other soul here on this forum whose name I do not remember but I think they hit the nail squarely.)

1) Eat Less
2) Eat More Healthy
3) Move More (or as I said when I spoke to folks about my first time of lose --- Get off the couch and MOVE! (I would come home from work at 1 p.m. and eat till it was time to get the kid, 9 year old at the time, from school/daycare and then still eat two servings of hamburger helper™))