A case shrouded in mystery went before the Grand Jury in Palm Springs earlier this week. With allegations of "PIE" (performance increasing equipment) running rampant on the internet, a juror, speaking on conditions of remaining anonymous, disclosed to this reporter what happened in the grand jury room. Witnesses stated that on Saturday morning, March 29, at about 8:00 am they noticed 3 "bicycle riders" going west on Highway 111. Once they got up to the turnoff for the TramWay, a motorist said she heard the portly older gentleman, who wears all that Day-Glo green, with a little smile on his face, ask the younger riders to "wait for him at the top." When she heard the reply, "Yeah, right," from the youngest one, the one that had the skin tight shirt on that said something about "Cool Breezes", she thought, "Where is this younger generation headed?"
The star witness for the District Attorney said, "When they turned onto the TramWay road, it looked like they were all in some sort of a race, with the 2 'younger ones' getting a BIG lead on that portly older gentleman." The witness further stated that, "There was something about that portly older gentleman that just seemed to nag at me. Then I remembered about those shoes (It's not about the shoes!). I'd seen that same older guy riding his bike on the TramWay at least twice in the last couple of weeks." The witness testified that, "It had to be him because I've seen a few people wear Day-Glo green clothes, but Day-Glo green tennis shoes, now that's something different."
The witness mentioned that both of the bicycle riders, "Cool Breezes" and "BMC", pulled over quite a few times and would stop and admire the views of the desert. She did say that as the portly older gentleman was passing the "BMC" bicycle rider, he looked over his left shoulder for a long time as he was passing him just to make sure everything was ok with that other rider.
I asked the witness how she was able to observe all that went on, and she said that she was able to almost keep up with the two younger guys by just walking at her regular pace, and that they would stop frequently to admire the view she would catch up to them.
In closing I asked her if she knew about the allegation against the older man, "So he, the older man, used his electric motor to get to the top (investigation under way) well before us." And did she see any "PIE" on his bike? Her answer was, "No, I didn't see any 'PIE' on his bike, but it looked like he was all too well acquainted with pie. And so the District Attorney, not wanting to having any pie on his face, had to drop the charges.
From the TramWay road high above the Desert Floor this reporter is signing off and saying…"RIDE SAFE"!