Another etiquette question re lady cyclists
09-11-05, 06:29 PM
#51
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Originally Posted by georgiaboy
Don't worry too much over this you didn't do anything terribly bad... 
The term "hottie" is an internet chat room term to affectionately complement young ladies. However, if you use the term outside the internet and with different age groups the other party might not fully understand the term the way it is meant. While talking to people online most persons are hip to this jargon.
The term "hottie" is an internet chat room term to affectionately complement young ladies. However, if you use the term outside the internet and with different age groups the other party might not fully understand the term the way it is meant. While talking to people online most persons are hip to this jargon.
Thanks for the explanation of the term hottie. I'm not hip to the term.
But I agree with the others, the less said about physical appearance the better.
Kathi
09-11-05, 06:51 PM
#52
Sophomoric Member
If you want to compliment or even flirt a little, it might be better to say something nice about their bikes, or make a little joke about how difficult it is to drop such good riders. For example:
On second thought . . . .
"That's a great looking Giant you're sitting on."
"You sure are one fast mama."
"I'm tryin' like hell to drop your ass."
"Your shorts are smokin'."
"Just let me squeeeze by you."
"What kind of lube are you using?"
"You sure are one fast mama."
"I'm tryin' like hell to drop your ass."
"Your shorts are smokin'."
"Just let me squeeeze by you."
"What kind of lube are you using?"
On second thought . . . .
09-12-05, 06:53 AM
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Originally Posted by powerhouse
At this point, I'm somewhat at a loss. I've read numerous threads and posts about courtesy and ettiquette when around female cyclists while out riding. The numerous entries seemed to range from practical to very ridiculous. I'm a male cyclist who is respectful toward others, particularly lady cyclists. But after reading the various threads and entries, I'm somewhat confused about what ettiquette is acceptable by everyone. Here are examples I've seen.
Some female cyclists don't like other cyclists around anytime.
I'm someone who says things like 'on your left','hello', or just gives a friendly wave From what I've read, there are ladies who don't welcome even this to the point of using mace.
If I didn't say anything, there would be those who would consider THAT as unwelcome.
Some women have said that if I were riding behind them to pass. Meanwhile, other lady cyclists would think that would be lying in wait for them up ahead.
From what I've read, some lady cyclists think that if I were behind them, I'd be admiring their anatomy or want to follow them for miles regarding sinister purposes. I don't do that while riding.
The list is endless! How far does this go and to what end? According to the varying perceptions of many members and guests on this forum, it seems to be very difficult or impossible to observe every courtesy, rule, etc. applying to every lady cyclist everywhere.
I look forward to replies to this message.
Dammed if you do,
Dammed if you don't.
Some female cyclists don't like other cyclists around anytime.
I'm someone who says things like 'on your left','hello', or just gives a friendly wave From what I've read, there are ladies who don't welcome even this to the point of using mace.
If I didn't say anything, there would be those who would consider THAT as unwelcome.
Some women have said that if I were riding behind them to pass. Meanwhile, other lady cyclists would think that would be lying in wait for them up ahead.
From what I've read, some lady cyclists think that if I were behind them, I'd be admiring their anatomy or want to follow them for miles regarding sinister purposes. I don't do that while riding.
The list is endless! How far does this go and to what end? According to the varying perceptions of many members and guests on this forum, it seems to be very difficult or impossible to observe every courtesy, rule, etc. applying to every lady cyclist everywhere.
I look forward to replies to this message.
Dammed if you do,
Dammed if you don't.
You are right on here.
I think it all boils down to this one thing...people think too much.
I'm out there to ride, whether it be to get to work or home or just out for a pleasure ride. I encounter other PEOPLE on my ride. I say hi, or wave. If I'm passing I say, "On your left!" and go on my way. I don't think too much about how they will react.
If I'm a faster rider I pass, if I'm slower I get passed. Again, I don't think about it. Other people on bikes are like my family...she's my sister, he's my brother.
Walkers are people I have to pass with care
and let them know I am there. (hey, that rhymes)
Car drivers are not evil, they just chose to drive. (someday when we run out of gas they'll join us.)
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
...but maybe that's just me.
09-12-05, 09:34 AM
#54
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Originally Posted by gew0419
Powerhouse,
I think it all boils down to this one thing...people think too much.
I'm out there to ride, whether it be to get to work or home or just out for a pleasure ride.
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
...but maybe that's just me.
I think it all boils down to this one thing...people think too much.
I'm out there to ride, whether it be to get to work or home or just out for a pleasure ride.
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
...but maybe that's just me.
Old way to commute
* Get in your car. Lock the door. Can't do that on a bike
* If someone making trouble, you're in a locked car - take evasive moves Risky, if he's rested + you're not, Good luck
* Get the plate#, 911. No plates on bikes in most cities, no pen or paper handy. Stopping gives him the advantage
= = = = = = = = = = =
New way to commute
* Ride with your rear up in tight clothes, cuz regular clothes are not made to manage sweat + movement.
* In the city, at any time another biker who's probably faster, 2X strong, and 2X the weight can catch up, block, + possibly go for it.
* As another bike approaches to what the rider considers aggressive, evasive action is difficult
* Bike is not identifiable like a car. No plate.
* Good luck getting from the cops about bike issues. They're *too busy*
When things get out of control, it tends to happen quickly. It's hard to feel safe at times with so few means of defending trouble.
Last edited by koffee brown; 09-12-05 at 12:32 PM. Reason: as always my friggen grammar and spelling
09-12-05, 09:41 AM
#55
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Thanks Emily for doing such a good job of clarifying how these types of comments can make us feel uncomfortable. There's a guy in my office who periodically comments on my muscle tone or hair and I know he's just trying to be complimentary and friendly, but I would rather just focus on work and the professional relationship. If I say "thank-you," the polite response to his intent, then it just encourages him. If I say something about how his comments make feel uncomfortable, then he thinks I'm a lunatic.... I mean, why would an intended compliment upset me? Sheesh. It's frustrating.
I really appreciated what you said about the comments lending insight as to what the complimenter might feel or judge important... in my case above, this guy has been tracking his calories and working out, so muscle tone is kind of his focus.
Anyway ... if he were to say "You have good muscle tone, what kind of workout do you do..." I would feel complimented w/o feeling uncomfortable. If he just comments on the muscle tone ... then I am really clueless as to his intentions and go "on guard" so to speak.
I really appreciated what you said about the comments lending insight as to what the complimenter might feel or judge important... in my case above, this guy has been tracking his calories and working out, so muscle tone is kind of his focus.
Anyway ... if he were to say "You have good muscle tone, what kind of workout do you do..." I would feel complimented w/o feeling uncomfortable. If he just comments on the muscle tone ... then I am really clueless as to his intentions and go "on guard" so to speak.
09-12-05, 12:00 PM
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Originally Posted by gew0419
I encounter other PEOPLE on my ride.
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
Originally Posted by sydney_b
If I say "thank-you," the polite response to his intent, then it just encourages him. If I say something about how his comments make feel uncomfortable, then he thinks I'm a lunatic.... I mean, why would an intended compliment upset me? Sheesh. It's frustrating.
09-12-05, 02:39 PM
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Originally Posted by gew0419
Powerhouse,
You are right on here.
I think it all boils down to this one thing...people think too much.
I'm out there to ride, whether it be to get to work or home or just out for a pleasure ride. I encounter other PEOPLE on my ride. I say hi, or wave. If I'm passing I say, "On your left!" and go on my way. I don't think too much about how they will react.
If I'm a faster rider I pass, if I'm slower I get passed. Again, I don't think about it. Other people on bikes are like my family...she's my sister, he's my brother.
Walkers are people I have to pass with care
and let them know I am there. (hey, that rhymes)
Car drivers are not evil, they just chose to drive. (someday when we run out of gas they'll join us.)
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
...but maybe that's just me.
You are right on here.
I think it all boils down to this one thing...people think too much.
I'm out there to ride, whether it be to get to work or home or just out for a pleasure ride. I encounter other PEOPLE on my ride. I say hi, or wave. If I'm passing I say, "On your left!" and go on my way. I don't think too much about how they will react.
If I'm a faster rider I pass, if I'm slower I get passed. Again, I don't think about it. Other people on bikes are like my family...she's my sister, he's my brother.
Walkers are people I have to pass with care
and let them know I am there. (hey, that rhymes)
Car drivers are not evil, they just chose to drive. (someday when we run out of gas they'll join us.)
I guess I would say, for the most part, we all need to "lighten up."
...but maybe that's just me.
I think the point you're missing here is that Mars asked for opinions. He forced us to think and got a lot of well thought out responses (and some less so). So now he knows (and so do I) what people' s opinions are on the issue and we can all act accordingly without thinking about it.
MM
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There are no tailwinds. There are headwinds and days when I'm awesome!
09-12-05, 04:16 PM
#58
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I once was co-instructor for a course, the other co-instructor was male. All of our clients, the students, were female. The other co-instructor made a comment about the composition of the class, to the entire class, as part of his introductions. I forget the exactly what he said, but, in essence he exclaimed his surprise that all the clients were female. "Wow. An entire class of women. That's something you don't see everyday. Weeeeell, isn't this is a surprise?!!!"
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
__________________
Feminism is the profound notion that women are human beings.
Feminism is the profound notion that women are human beings.
09-12-05, 05:29 PM
#59
Sophomoric Member
Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom
I once was co-instructor for a course, the other co-instructor was male. All of our clients, the students, were female. The other co-instructor made a comment about the composition of the class, to the entire class, as part of his introductions. I forget the exactly what he said, but, in essence he exclaimed his surprise that all the clients were female. "Wow. An entire class of women. That's something you don't see everyday. Weeeeell, isn't this is a surprise?!!!"
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
09-12-05, 06:21 PM
#60
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Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom
I once was co-instructor for a course, the other co-instructor was male. All of our clients, the students, were female. The other co-instructor made a comment about the composition of the class, to the entire class, as part of his introductions. I forget the exactly what he said, but, in essence he exclaimed his surprise that all the clients were female. "Wow. An entire class of women. That's something you don't see everyday. Weeeeell, isn't this is a surprise?!!!"
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
Wow, you sound like fun, can you say, "issues."
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Non semper erit aestas.
09-12-05, 06:57 PM
#61
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Now, I am all for the appreciation of beauty...especially when that beauty just so happens to be me on my bike, flying happily down some hill. But I do ask that the appreciation happens quietly; I do not need any compliments, I already know how great I feel. Besides, a hollar, a honk, a "hottie" comment, etc. will just distract me and keep me from my line, which really gets my goat!
So, Mars, when you pass by me, a simple, "on yer left" will do just fine. If you are single, and I see that you aren't, if you want to chat with me, then slow down a bit and say a quick howdy. Take cues from my response and proceed from there. I do wonder, though, Mars: what does your wife think of you calling other women "hottie"???? seems to me that if that is something that she would object to, then you have your answer. it also seems to me that just by the fact that you asked the question, you had your doubts about saying it in the first place.
my two cents...
cheers and happy riding!
Liz
So, Mars, when you pass by me, a simple, "on yer left" will do just fine. If you are single, and I see that you aren't, if you want to chat with me, then slow down a bit and say a quick howdy. Take cues from my response and proceed from there. I do wonder, though, Mars: what does your wife think of you calling other women "hottie"???? seems to me that if that is something that she would object to, then you have your answer. it also seems to me that just by the fact that you asked the question, you had your doubts about saying it in the first place.
my two cents...
cheers and happy riding!
Liz
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09-12-05, 08:10 PM
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My advise, honestly:
Say nothing other than 'On your left.'
Be clipped and ultra conservative.
Never comment to anybody, its a general rule that they will always take offense unless they're interested in you, which clearly the average stranger isn't going to be as you pass by them fast.
In general, and not to be mean - I tend to treat everybody a-sexually, simply because I never want to have someone assume I'm being a sexist pig when I'm just trying to be nice of flirt a bit.
/shrug.
Say nothing other than 'On your left.'
Be clipped and ultra conservative.
Never comment to anybody, its a general rule that they will always take offense unless they're interested in you, which clearly the average stranger isn't going to be as you pass by them fast.
In general, and not to be mean - I tend to treat everybody a-sexually, simply because I never want to have someone assume I'm being a sexist pig when I'm just trying to be nice of flirt a bit.
/shrug.
09-12-05, 08:46 PM
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Originally Posted by MikeM21
Gew,
I think the point you're missing here is that Mars asked for opinions. He forced us to think and got a lot of well thought out responses (and some less so). So now he knows (and so do I) what people' s opinions are on the issue and we can all act accordingly without thinking about it.
MM
I think the point you're missing here is that Mars asked for opinions. He forced us to think and got a lot of well thought out responses (and some less so). So now he knows (and so do I) what people' s opinions are on the issue and we can all act accordingly without thinking about it.
MM
09-12-05, 09:27 PM
#64
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Originally Posted by CycleMagic
I do wonder, though, Mars: what does your wife think of you calling other women "hottie"???? seems to me that if that is something that she would object to, then you have your answer. it also seems to me that just by the fact that you asked the question, you had your doubts about saying it in the first place.
my two cents...
cheers and happy riding!
Liz
my two cents...
cheers and happy riding!
Liz
As for my wife, she has no objection to this behavior and has been following this thread with me. To tell the truth (hang on, I'm going to ask her, just to be sure) she is far more horrified by some of the responses than I am, by and large. I won't share some of her comments, I think, because of the risk of a new flame war. She would like folks to know that she considers herself a feminist, has a graduate degree, and is a professional...
So why didn't she object to me calling a woman a hottie as I rode pass? Because, she says, 1) she is the hottest, 2) she knows I'm not doing it to pick anyone else up, just trying to be nice...
Before anyone reaches for more matches, these are her words, not mine..
09-12-05, 09:35 PM
#65
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Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom
I once was co-instructor for a course, the other co-instructor was male. All of our clients, the students, were female. The other co-instructor made a comment about the composition of the class, to the entire class, as part of his introductions. I forget the exactly what he said, but, in essence he exclaimed his surprise that all the clients were female. "Wow. An entire class of women. That's something you don't see everyday. Weeeeell, isn't this is a surprise?!!!"
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
Livid??? That's a head scratcher. I can't stretch my imagination enough to figure out how that would be remotely offensive. If I saw a (large) class composed entirely of women (or men for that matter) I would probably find it noteworthy.
Either I'm dense and offensive, (a distinct possibility) or you should relax a little bit.
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09-12-05, 10:17 PM
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I'm not a commuter, don't really post here, but I couldn't resist the subject line...
Mars, you asked, so we're all gonna share.
Your choice of words, "hottie", implies that you think they're hot, that they turn you on, right? Is that really what you and your wife want to say to all these strangers? Uninvited compliments are a problem for many women, because we get them from everyone - attractive men, and completely repulsive men. Would you like some low-life calling your wife a 'hottie'? Calling your daughter a 'hottie'? What if some of the guys in your dance club, ones that you thought were very unattractive, called YOU a hottie? Your wife can call you a hottie, repulsive old men cannot, right?
Why bother pointing out that you notice women as anything else but a fellow cyclist?
p.s. - See, I can call myself a wench, my boyfriend can, but you can't. Got it?
Mars, you asked, so we're all gonna share.
Your choice of words, "hottie", implies that you think they're hot, that they turn you on, right? Is that really what you and your wife want to say to all these strangers? Uninvited compliments are a problem for many women, because we get them from everyone - attractive men, and completely repulsive men. Would you like some low-life calling your wife a 'hottie'? Calling your daughter a 'hottie'? What if some of the guys in your dance club, ones that you thought were very unattractive, called YOU a hottie? Your wife can call you a hottie, repulsive old men cannot, right?
Why bother pointing out that you notice women as anything else but a fellow cyclist?
p.s. - See, I can call myself a wench, my boyfriend can, but you can't. Got it?
09-12-05, 11:18 PM
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yikes, I am stupified by all of this--I work with mostly men (I am an engineer), and would be horrified if one called me a hottie--no matter how close we are--why can't we drop all of the sexual conotations and just F******* RIDE!! I, too, am a woman professional, with graduate degrees, and a major objection to being objectified by a stranger on the road...........I hold dear my right to ride without harrassment of any kind, whether it be from cars, other riders, glass on the road..........
09-12-05, 11:20 PM
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Originally Posted by Mars
I am happy to share with you why I asked the question. I have found, and this thread certainly confirmed, that just because I would react a certain way to something and think of as a good thing, someone else may not. The experience and interpretation of the same event can be different between the sexes and so, I decided to ask folks here what they thought. And did I ever find out! Not just what they thought of the behvior, but also what they thought of me, my character, and my thoughts and motives.
As for my wife, she has no objection to this behavior and has been following this thread with me. To tell the truth (hang on, I'm going to ask her, just to be sure) she is far more horrified by some of the responses than I am, by and large. I won't share some of her comments, I think, because of the risk of a new flame war. She would like folks to know that she considers herself a feminist, has a graduate degree, and is a professional...
So why didn't she object to me calling a woman a hottie as I rode pass? Because, she says, 1) she is the hottest, 2) she knows I'm not doing it to pick anyone else up, just trying to be nice...
Before anyone reaches for more matches, these are her words, not mine..
As for my wife, she has no objection to this behavior and has been following this thread with me. To tell the truth (hang on, I'm going to ask her, just to be sure) she is far more horrified by some of the responses than I am, by and large. I won't share some of her comments, I think, because of the risk of a new flame war. She would like folks to know that she considers herself a feminist, has a graduate degree, and is a professional...
So why didn't she object to me calling a woman a hottie as I rode pass? Because, she says, 1) she is the hottest, 2) she knows I'm not doing it to pick anyone else up, just trying to be nice...
Before anyone reaches for more matches, these are her words, not mine..
And sorry... if your wife is a feminist, she would take you to task. I could care less what her degree is and what kind of job you have. Feminists aren't limited to people with degrees and jobs. It would probably do her some good to look up that word in the dictionary, because she ain't it.
Koffee
09-13-05, 12:13 AM
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On your left fatty
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Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom
Snip
What were you instructing?
09-13-05, 12:21 AM
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Originally Posted by koffee brown
lots of stuff
Koffee
Koffee
09-13-05, 05:34 AM
#71
coitus non circum.
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Originally Posted by koffee brown
Well, first of all, your wife KNOWS YOU. That's pretty obvious. But when you come up behind women, and we don't know you, you really think we're impressed? You are deluded, and so is your wife. Your wife knows you're not going to stray (I hope), and I'm sure in your mind, you think it's ok. But in my mind, and in the mind of other women, we are NOT comfortable when you come up behind and use language that we view as sexually harrassing.
And sorry... if your wife is a feminist, she would take you to task. I could care less what her degree is and what kind of job you have. Feminists aren't limited to people with degrees and jobs. It would probably do her some good to look up that word in the dictionary, because she ain't it.
Koffee
And sorry... if your wife is a feminist, she would take you to task. I could care less what her degree is and what kind of job you have. Feminists aren't limited to people with degrees and jobs. It would probably do her some good to look up that word in the dictionary, because she ain't it.
Koffee
As for your point about whether it's ok for me to come up and say whatever, that has already been covered on this thread and I have expressed my regret at not taking everybody's diverse feelings into account.
09-13-05, 05:37 AM
#72
coitus non circum.
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Originally Posted by Pedal Wench
I'm not a commuter, don't really post here, but I couldn't resist the subject line...
Mars, you asked, so we're all gonna share.
Your choice of words, "hottie", implies that you think they're hot, that they turn you on, right? Is that really what you and your wife want to say to all these strangers? Uninvited compliments are a problem for many women, because we get them from everyone - attractive men, and completely repulsive men. Would you like some low-life calling your wife a 'hottie'? Calling your daughter a 'hottie'? What if some of the guys in your dance club, ones that you thought were very unattractive, called YOU a hottie? Your wife can call you a hottie, repulsive old men cannot, right?
Why bother pointing out that you notice women as anything else but a fellow cyclist?
p.s. - See, I can call myself a wench, my boyfriend can, but you can't. Got it?
Mars, you asked, so we're all gonna share.
Your choice of words, "hottie", implies that you think they're hot, that they turn you on, right? Is that really what you and your wife want to say to all these strangers? Uninvited compliments are a problem for many women, because we get them from everyone - attractive men, and completely repulsive men. Would you like some low-life calling your wife a 'hottie'? Calling your daughter a 'hottie'? What if some of the guys in your dance club, ones that you thought were very unattractive, called YOU a hottie? Your wife can call you a hottie, repulsive old men cannot, right?
Why bother pointing out that you notice women as anything else but a fellow cyclist?
p.s. - See, I can call myself a wench, my boyfriend can, but you can't. Got it?
09-13-05, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by emilymildew
It's inconceivable to a man that a compliment might actually be insulting or upsetting. It's also impossible to react politely when what one wants to say is "leave the fact that I'm a woman out of this".
09-13-05, 07:14 AM
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Originally Posted by FlowerBlossom
I once was co-instructor for a course, the other co-instructor was male. All of our clients, the students, were female. The other co-instructor made a comment about the composition of the class, to the entire class, as part of his introductions. I forget the exactly what he said, but, in essence he exclaimed his surprise that all the clients were female. "Wow. An entire class of women. That's something you don't see everyday. Weeeeell, isn't this is a surprise?!!!"
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
I was livid, of course. And told him this. Of course, he didn't understand why. His defense was, that it was the truth....that he was truthfully surprised at having a class of all women, thus he had to say something.
I could have given several explanations rationalizing the response (mine and the clients). But, I didn't. I told him that in fact, no, he didn't have to say a darn thing about it, that having an all-women class had nothing to do with delivering the contract (i.e., teaching the class). And, next time, just focus on getting the job done and do it well.
Moral of the Story:
Just keep the adjectives/comments to yourself.
Originally Posted by koffee brown
... if your wife is a feminist...
09-13-05, 07:17 AM
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Originally Posted by gew0419
That has got to be the most sexist comment I have read in this thread. To say that all men can't understand something is a real "broad brush" comment. It's like me saying "All women are...(fill in the blank)" I'd have you all down on me for that.
I could just as easily tell you that the English don't know how to drink like adults. It's a generalisation and it's true, but sure you can find people who do know how to behave.