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Thread: Rainman missing

  1. #1
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    It was reported today that Mr. RainmanP, of New Orleans (not N'walins), LA (not L.A.), is missing.

    He was last seen riding a newly converted hybrid/road bike along Lake Pontchartrain, wearing Kevlar(R) armbands. Some witnesses claim they saw someone answering that description, but behaving erratically.

    "He was travelling, oh, kind of fast, about 17 mph. or so.
    Then it looked like he just jumped off his bike!"

    Other reports, from anonymous witnesses, claim they also saw these events, and some say the unknown cyclist (possibly Mr. RainmanP) actually leapt off his bike, got up, and leapt off again.

    More witnesses placed him at the House of Blues only an hour after these weird incidents.

    "Ya, he was kind of bruised, but he acted, well, sort of triumphant, like he had just proved something. I asked him what I could do for his obvious scrapes, and he said,
    'Nothing, nothing at all!' He seemed not to be worried at all. And he was wearing some queer sort of sleeves,
    Kevlar(R) I think."

    After these sightings, the trail becomes cold. No one else has seen hide nor hair of Mr. RainmanP.

    If you have any information which may shed light on his whereabouts, please call 1-800-RAINMAN.
    Last edited by LittleBigMan; 04-16-01 at 10:50 PM.

  2. #2
    High cholesterol HogWild's Avatar
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    This just in from the AP wire ...

    Naw'lins, L.A.- Legendary cyclist and tourguide Mr. RainmanP is still missing 5 days after his mysterious behavior and subsequent disappearance following a series of bizarre experiments along the shores of lake Pontchartrain.

    Renown throughout the southern Louisiana cycling community for his lifelong commitment to developing cycling safety equipment as well as his encyclopedic knowledge of seafood restaurants, Rainman was last seen in the Wal-mart sporting goods department muttering something about blinkie batteries. Local bike club members have also reported that his wife, Rainma'am, is missing as well.

    "If you see him, tell him he still owes me 20 bucks" says Vance Legweak, president of the Crescent Wrench Bikers, where Rainman is a member. "And I still haven't gotten those...whaddya call'em? Revlon sleeves or somethin'?"

    A local businessman also expressed his concern for Rainman's safety. "Yeah, that son of a b**** walked on a $50 bar tab" says Rock Dropsie, manager of a local nightclub. "I'll kick his a** if he shows up around here again." Mr. Dropsie indicated that he had some business associates in the gaming industry who were also interested in finding Rainman.

    It's obvious that the local community is concerned about Rainman's whereabouts. There has been talk of setting up a reward fund for information about his whereabouts, and several people have offered to take care of his highly modified bicycle while he's gone.If you have had any contact with Rainman in the last 5 days, don't bother contacting the local police. In fact, it's best you don't say nothin' to nobody.

  3. #3
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    Finally, there may be some light at the end of this long, dark tunnel. A man who answers to the name, "Rainman,"
    has come forward. But his responses to questioning haven't seemed to help us much yet.

    Rainman: "...course I'm an excellent driver...UH, oh...Wapner comes on in 17 minutes, People's Court...K-mart sucks..."

    It would seem that perhaps a negative experience with blinkie batteries in K-mart may be what he is referring to.
    Yet he seems to be confusing K-mart with Wal-mart, but that's not unusual in itself.

    Rainman: "Tapioca...Tapioca pudding...We're counting cards...counting cards, we're counting cards...yeah..."

    Could Rainman be talking about those gambling connections we've heard references to?
    Last edited by LittleBigMan; 04-19-01 at 10:43 AM.

  4. #4
    Mr. Cellophane RainmanP's Avatar
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    (sniffle)
    You guys have me all choked up with emotion at the concern you have expressed for my well-being.

    Actually, Rainma'am and I were on vacation in San Francisco. I took the Kevlar sleeves, intending to rent a bike to give them a real test on Filbert Street, which, I think is considered the steepest street in the U.S. (true). At the top, of the steepest block, you actually cannot see the street surface over the hood of the car. Anyway, Rainma'am got wind of my intentions and alerted all the local bike rental places so no one would rent me a bike. Even when I assured them that I had no plan to leap from a moving bike, they weren't buying it. All I really wanted to do was ride over the Golden Gate Bridge which many people were doing. The sidewalk is almost as wide as a street!

    We had a great time. Let me warn you about visiting wineries in Napa Valley. Many will give you free tastes of several of their wines. Now, no one taste is very much, but after about 6 of them, the wine is tasting VERY good. At that point, buying 6 to 12 bottles at 25-30 bucks a pop seems like a REALLY good idea. Luckily, since I was driving, I literally took only a sip of Rainma'am's tastes so I was able to retain my senses and call a halt after the second such episode and felt luck to escape with only about $400 added to my credit card. Be forewarned! Make sure you select a designated naysayer before sampling!

    It's good to be back.
    Regards,
    Rainman
    If it ain't broke, mess with it anyway!

  5. #5
    Sumanitu taka owaci LittleBigMan's Avatar
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    You should have taken Rainma'am to the winery FIRST,
    THEN told her about our (Mike's) plan to test the
    Kevlar(R) sleeves. Then she might have gone along with it!

    Plus, with the $400 spent on wine, now you can justify more bike purchases!!!



    Glad you had a great time, everyone deserves to have some fun!

    Pete

  6. #6
    Love Me....Love My Bike! aerobat's Avatar
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    Good to see you back Rman!
    "...perhaps the world needs a little more Canada" - Jean Chretian, 2003.

  7. #7
    Mr. Cellophane RainmanP's Avatar
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    Hey, Pete, that is a good idea about the money spent on wine. I can't believe my devious mind did not come up with it. After all:
    1. Rainma'am is the wine drinker.
    2. Money spent on wine goes down the toilet.
    3. Money spent on the bike just keeps on rollin' along like ol' man river.
    You show great promise, Grasshopper.
    If it ain't broke, mess with it anyway!

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