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Old 04-17-01, 09:28 PM   #1
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Folks, sometimes we have to weed out the undesirables in our midst. And I think we've found one.

A guy named "Mike" has posted many dubious opinions over the last several weeks. But I see a pattern. First, he rescues a defenseless old Japanese man (in Japan, no less). Then, he helps the police search for the actual gun used in a gang-related shoot-out (on his bicycle). Finally, he helps find some lost children in the neighborhood, (again, on his bicycle).

Think about it. Have any of these things happened to anyone you know, besides Mike? Don't forget about the time he claimed he found "diamonds" on the road, or the time he found some brand new Sturmey-Archer hub in the trash, or the time he found an entire slurpee, still ice-cold, etc., etc., etc.!

Really, Mike, I was not born yesterday (or I would not be able to write this post)!
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Old 04-17-01, 09:56 PM   #2
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When God was making us out of clay, I was fortunate enough to have been made just before Pete.

I said, "excuse me, God, but who is that you are making?"

God replied, "why this is to be the young Pete Clark"

"What's that stuff you're putting inside him now? I asked.

"Well, that is Pete's good luck", was the reply.

"He sure is getting a lot of it!" I exclaimed.

"Sure, it has to last him a lifetime", says the Almighty Father.

"Hmm, can I have some of his?" was my request. "I'll use it wisely", I promised.

God thought for a moment and said, "Well, there is no guarantee Pete would use all his luck wisely, so what the heck. Sure, come over here you cute fella and you can have an extra spoonfull of good luck".

And that's why you hear the expressions "the luck of Mike" and "Oh, for Pete's sake".

Last edited by mike; 04-19-01 at 10:01 PM.
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Old 04-17-01, 10:22 PM   #3
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Let me tell y'all a story...

I knew a guy named, "Mike." He was the biggest brag, I mean, he'd been everywhere and done everything.
And he knew everyone.

So one day I tested him. "Mike," I asked him, "you know
so many famous people, maybe you could introduce me to some."

"Sure," said Mike. "I'm going over to Lance Armstrong's mansion tomorrow for a party after a long ride, just he and I."

"I've got him," I thought. I drove up to the property and pressed the call button on the front gate. There was no mistaking Lance Armstrong's place.

"Hello, Pete! Come on in, we are just cooling down!" I drove around back, and there they were! Lance and Mike, like old buddies!

A week later, I baited him, I guess out of spite. "Mike, there isn't anyone you don't know, is there? I bet you could even introduce me to the Pope."

"Ya, I could."

O.k., there I was, at the Vatican in a throng of faithful
worshippers. Mike said he would wave at me from the balcony, next to the Pope.

I woke up in the hospital.

"What happened, Pete?" asked my buddy, Mike.

"I guess my luck ran out. I was watching the Pope, and sure enough, there you were waving. I couldn't believe it. But things went black a moment later, when this little
Italian lady asked me, "Who's that up there with Mike?"
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Old 04-17-01, 10:49 PM   #4
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LOL on that one, buddy!
"...perhaps the world needs a little more Canada" - Jean Chretian, 2003.
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Old 04-17-01, 10:56 PM   #5
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LOL Ah, you guys just kill me! Pete that sounded faguely familiar, but nicely done!

It sure is fun watchin' y'all duel! Ah, you know, simple folk like me just cheer from the sidelines and hope for bloodshed. Damn! <sniff>, it's just like watchin' wrestling, but with text and stuff...
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Old 04-29-01, 09:36 AM   #6
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Hmmm, now that I know about Mike's luck and everything, I wonder how this astonishing news about the bagel in Lance's head and Chris wanting to give Pete's brain to Mike, could possibly workout good for the good of Mike..:confused:
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