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  1. #1
    Commuter First newbojeff's Avatar
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    The Cycling Short Gods Have Spoken!!

    No doubt as cosmic punishment for my aesthetic complaints about bike shorts....

    Had a flat last night (rear wheel, of course) on the way home. My wife essentially dared me to see how fast I could fix it. Patched it and pumped it up and put it back on the bike. This morning, with rain forcast, put on cycling shorts.

    Must have patched the tube too fast as it was flat again this morning. So I swapped tubes. I was in a rush, trying to get to work for an office breakfast. After getting to work and changing, I needed to stop at the supermarket next door to bring something to the breakfast. In my haste swapping the tube and pumping it up, I left my keys in our car (which I needed for the pump). Without keys, I can get in our building, but not into my office to get my clothes. So I have to go walking through the supermarket in bike shorts.

    What was I assigned to bring for the breakfast?.....fruit salad.

  2. #2
    34x25 FTW! oboeguy's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by newbojeff
    So I have to go walking through the supermarket in bike shorts.
    When are you guys going to get over this? BFD!
    Quote Originally Posted by Blue Order
    Quote Originally Posted by sknhgy
    I do not want to be associated with the kind of riders that come through my neck of the woods on weekends, dressed in superhero costumes
    Do they wear capes?
    ---

    http://www.cycopaths.net/

  3. #3
    Easily distracted...
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    Quote Originally Posted by oboeguy
    When are you guys going to get over this? BFD!
    Agreed.
    Safe, efficient, and comfortable transportation.

  4. #4
    That darn Yankee TexasGuy's Avatar
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    This whole post went zoom over my head. Anybody got the cliff notes for it?
    Life is about hanging onto what you think is important and finding out what really is important.
    "Stop Ruining my joke!", "No, a joke implies humor attached at no additional cost"
    So many sayings, so little sig space.

  5. #5
    Castiron Perineum Bockman's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasGuy
    This whole post went zoom over my head. Anybody got the cliff notes for it?
    newbojeff is concerned people think he's gay.
    The best libertarian podcast on the internet! freedomainradio.com

  6. #6
    Perineal Pressurized dobber's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasGuy
    This whole post went zoom over my head. Anybody got the cliff notes for it?
    Something about two cyclists who find friendship and love. Brokeback Tandem, I think.
    This is Africa, 1943. War spits out its violence overhead and the sandy graveyard swallows it up. Her name is King Nine, B-25, medium bomber, Twelfth Air Force. On a hot, still morning she took off from Tunisia to bomb the southern tip of Italy. An errant piece of flak tore a hole in a wing tank and, like a wounded bird, this is where she landed, not to return on this day, or any other day.

  7. #7
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    You guys crack me up!

    Spandex in the check out line? Not a problem for me.

    My boss makes me laugh on this subject. Couple weeks ago, I got to work in my usual black spandex and neon jersey. Board meeting about to start in our part of the building. Boss "hurry up and get changed"

    The ones that kill me are the girls with ample thigh/butt combo, wearing spandex shorts, for no apparent reason. You would think their best friend, or sister, or mom would tell them just how bad they look. I guess not.

    fat biker

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    I'm with OP on this one. Bike shorts are like a skin tight bathing suite - good during the specific activity, not for running around town. Is it that much trouble to get dressed?

    Thanks for the a.m. chuckle.

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bockman
    newbojeff is concerned people think he's gay.
    +1

    "Doth protests too loudly"

  10. #10
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    It's not like walking around in a supermarket is akin to riding a bike to a saturday night car race. Then walking around in spandex in front of all the pickup driving, shotgun carrying, chew spitting, and no tooth folks.

    Let the anti redneck reponses come forth!

  11. #11
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    you have unresolved issues with your mamma

  12. #12
    Mostly riding...mostly NM-NewRoadie's Avatar
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    what? gay cicyling jokes! NO WAY!!

  13. #13
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    OoOooOOoOOooO! that reminds me of the most common word yelled at me from pickup trucks in the burbs.
    Um........tip? no that's not it. um.......fat? no that not it either. Um......I think it starts with a f. I wonder what one I mean?

  14. #14
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DataJunkie
    It's not like walking around in a supermarket is akin to riding a bike to a saturday night car race. Then walking around in spandex in front of all the pickup driving, shotgun carrying, chew spitting, and no tooth folks.

    Let the anti redneck reponses come forth!
    You mean those F-ing bundles of sticks aren't? You gotta be kidding! Who else would dress that way in public and think they look good? Except for people who don't give a darn what they look like.

  15. #15
    Never Walk Alone! TeflonJohn's Avatar
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    Living in SoCal I am constantly forced to see fat people walking around everywhere looking like they lubed up to fit into their swim suits...they can look at me in my kit for awhile and I don't feel bad about it.

  16. #16
    New! With Self Loathing! scottmorrison99's Avatar
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    I stopped at the grocery store in the next town over for some gatorade on a hot ride the other day.. I think the fact I was pushing my bike through the store got more looks than my shorts. That "Can he bring that bike into the store?" look. Yes I can. Now if I keep riding maybe they'll start checking out my shorts. Actually as long as my wife keeps checking them out, I'm happy!

  17. #17
    Senior Member
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    I'm a cyclist and appreciate the function of a good pair of bike shorts, but I really DO NOT appreciate seeing them out of context. Sorry. Nothing to do with fear of being gay or anything like that. Just don't think they look appropriate on the fat, hairy, old guy in line next to me when I'm trying to get my breakfast.
    Lemond Poprad: Cross/Road
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    "the feel of steel"

  18. #18
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottmorrison99
    Now if I keep riding maybe they'll start checking out my shorts
    What type of people, who check out men in lycra, do you think the "they" comprise? Or should I not ask?

  19. #19
    Never Walk Alone! TeflonJohn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by scottmorrison99
    I think the fact I was pushing my bike through the store got more looks than my shorts. That "Can he bring that bike into the store?" look. Yes I can.
    That is priceless...did they try and charge you for the bike at check-out?

  20. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
    You mean those F-ing bundles of sticks aren't? You gotta be kidding! Who else would dress that way in public and think they look good? Except for people who don't give a darn what they look like.
    LOL
    Someone who actually knows what the true definition of that word is.

    How I feel about wearing lycra and looking good can be summed up with a post I read sometime ago.

    Bike clothes off the bike?

    Dupont's Law of Lycra: How cool you look in you bike clothes is inversely proportional to the distance from your bike.

  21. #21
    Commuter First newbojeff's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bockman
    newbojeff is concerned people think he's gay.
    Gay?! Me?! No!! I'm not gay! No way could I be gay!

    That's impossible.

    I'm not gay. Really.

  22. #22
    Cycle Dallas MMACH 5's Avatar
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    I'm not sure what garners more stares. When I am at the grocery store in my lycra shorts and jersey or when I am in Home Depot with my purse, house slippers and Barney t-shirt (SUPER-DEE-DUPER!).

    I think I just figured out why my wife and kids won't go shopping with me.
    That's gonna leave a mark.

  23. #23
    rained out
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    Most of the gay men I know wouldn't be caught dead in anything like typical cycling attire.
    I keep moving to be stable

  24. #24
    Life is good RonH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by newbojeff
    So I have to go walking through the supermarket in bike shorts.
    My bank has branches in supermarkets and I stopped at the store near my house last night to deposit my paycheck. Let's see. I was wearing a yellow jersey, mtn bike shoes, and BIKE SHORTS. Actually they were bibs but who can tell with the jersey.
    I do this all the time. I think the teller was more concerned about me sweating on her counter, so I just handed her everything, then took the deposit slip and left. No puddles.
    I've seen a few other cyclists shopping in this store after work - in their bike clothes.
    What's "worse"? Bike shorts and jersey or fat people wearing shorts?
    My bikes --> 2001 Litespeed Tuscany---2013 Cannondale CAAD 10 2 (5) "Racing Edition"

    Life is like a 10-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears we never use. ~ Charles Schultz

  25. #25
    genec genec's Avatar
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    Wear the helmet too... then folks will look at your head and wonder... instead of your shorts.

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