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Commuting Bicycle commuting is easier than you think, before you know it, you'll be hooked. Learn the tips, hints, equipment, safety requirements for safely riding your bike to work.

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Old 06-05-06, 03:06 PM   #1
JohnBrooking
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Condescending things people say

Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver?

I've started replying "You too."
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Old 06-05-06, 03:08 PM   #2
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Yea, I make fun of my friends who say that to me. I get it all the time and always try to think of something smart to say back.
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Old 06-05-06, 03:44 PM   #3
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Sounds like you're reading too much into it. He might just be hopeing you "have a safe ride home". Don't go looking for a fight where one may not exist.
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Old 06-05-06, 03:51 PM   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KenSmith
Sounds like you're reading too much into it. He might just be hopeing you "have a safe ride home". Don't go looking for a fight where one may not exist.
+1

My manger says the same thing. She tends to be a confrontational and somewhat sarcastic person. At first I thought she was being her "typical" self, but I later found through a co-manager she is being sincere. After all we ae short staffed as it is and my boss really does'nt want anything to happent to her employees.

Craig
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Old 06-05-06, 03:51 PM   #5
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Yeah, being insulted when you're aware that the intent to insult you isn't present just seems a bit, juvenile, or something.
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Old 06-05-06, 03:54 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnBrooking
Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver?

I've started replying "You too."

Respond with "Drive Friendly."
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Old 06-05-06, 03:56 PM   #7
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There's a guy that always comments on us "idiots" when we leave on our bicycles at night to ride home. He also tells me how dangerous motorcycles are on a regular basis. (I've been riding them 30 years and raced professionally for 5. I think I know how dangerous they are) I mean, the first 200 times I simply ignored it, but after that it starts getting a little old.

The really ironic thing about it is that he just had a stent put in his heart, and is on all kinds of medication and a very strict diet. Last time he said something, I just told him that he's free to live in fear of everything and die in his recliner and I'm free to enjoy myself and go out with a smile if that's the way it works out.

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Old 06-05-06, 03:57 PM   #8
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My boss says it to me all the time. Then again, she's a woman and I did get run over on my way into work a couple years ago. I had to call her from the ER and tell her I wasn't coming in to work that day.

Is your manager a woman? It sounds like a very motherly thing some women can say. My mother tells me to drive, ride, walk, run...whatever safe all the time. I wouldn't take offense to it if I were you.
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Old 06-05-06, 04:03 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by genec
Respond with "Drive Friendly."
lol...i like that one.

I usually respond with "I always do". I've never taken offense to it, kind of like how you tell a friend who is leaving on a car trip to "drive safe".
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Old 06-05-06, 04:04 PM   #10
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A standard reply: "Haven't been killed yet." That, or something about how great the ride home is going to be (with a big smile). Lately people have been saying, "enjoy the ride home."

Actually had a co-worker ask me about starting to ride to work today!! This guy needs to do it. He's a walking cardiovascular risk factor.
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Old 06-05-06, 04:15 PM   #11
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Some people think what you are doing is a little dangerous. The other day a coworker remarked to me, "You were riding on the road." I just said yea. She didn't say anything more, but I figured she meant, "WTF, you're going to get killed riding in traffic. Didn't your mother teach you better than that!"

It takes time and experience to feel comfortable with riding on the road. I know that from my own experience.

Hey, maybe they're right. I don't know. The set of risks accepted by choosing to commute by bicycle versus car are different. I don't know which is greater. My view in the final analysis is that bicycle commuting is more healthy when you consider the exercise and resulting cardiovascular improvement. After age 30, heart disease kills more of us than traffic accidents of any kind.
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Old 06-05-06, 04:47 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnBrooking
Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver?

I've started replying "You too."
I started a very related thread a couple months or so ago:

Do you tell people about to drive a motor vehicle to be safe?

Al
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Old 06-05-06, 04:54 PM   #13
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A conversation with motorist near the end of my commute in the middle of a very busy traffic area (fast 40mph NOLs). I was stopped left biased in rightmost lane to let right turners pass.

A guy in a truck moves up next to me and says:
"Man, your brave driving in traffic"
Me: "We all are"
Guy: "Sshh, tell me about it ...ha" and completes his turn.

Here is the mp3 of the exchange

Now this wasn't condesending at all, but I like how I turned it around and got agreement that all drivers are 'brave' (I normally wouldn't use the word brave normally to describe driving in traffic, vigillant instead)

Al
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Old 06-05-06, 05:06 PM   #14
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Last night in Central Park I had a copy tell me (while I was trying to fix a flat) that more people are killed in Central Park by bikes than by cars. I didn't have any snappy comebacks, but later it occurred to me that

1) cars don't belong there anyway so the number killed by them shoudl be zero

2) most near accidents I've had in Central Park by riding have been due to IDIOTIC peds with an apparent deathwish or perhaps blissful obliviousness.

Ahem. I also get annoyed when told to "ride safe" and whatnot. What, I'm going to ride in an unsafe manner? What gave them that idea? I admit, though, I say the same thing to my better half sometimes when she bike commutes so call me a hypocrite.
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Old 06-05-06, 05:13 PM   #15
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I find keeping a Winchester in the backpack scabbard cuts down on lippy comments
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Old 06-05-06, 05:35 PM   #16
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The times I've heard that, often as not, it's just someone's way of being friendly. By riding a bike to work, you stand out, and in a way some people who have the desire to take responsibility for themselves, but not the ambition or courage, admire your effort and want to be your buddy. The way to tell these ones from the rest is to ask if they have a bike. If they answer, "Yes, I should ride it more", or "I've been thinking about it", or in some way hint at a concern for their own fitness, the hook is set. All it takes is an occasional polite inquiry or reminder to get that person started.


Or maybe they're just lonely. Caveat emptor.
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Old 06-05-06, 06:53 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by noisebeam
A conversation with motorist near the end of my commute in the middle of a very busy traffic area (fast 40mph NOLs). I was stopped left biased in rightmost lane to let right turners pass.

Here is the mp3 of the exchange

Al
do you always ride with a microphone? That's uncanny.
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Old 06-05-06, 07:06 PM   #18
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The way I ride.. my coworkers mean it when they say "ride safe", which is often preceeded with "for the love of god."
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Old 06-05-06, 07:25 PM   #19
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When I drove a car regularly people would often say the same thing. So maybe you're being overly sensative about it. But then, it's the speaker's tone that shows condescention and not the words, so I can't be sure. I also hear that alot when riding too. I just figure people are genuinely concerned about me. That's not a really bad thing. What throws me is that I can't figure out why.
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Old 06-05-06, 07:34 PM   #20
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It always sounds hypocritical when a car driver says be careful. They are the ones doing the killing.
But the comment to the OP, I wouldn't read too much into it.
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Old 06-05-06, 08:25 PM   #21
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It's just "mind over matter".... if you don't mind, it don't matter.... some things in life just arn't woth sweating.
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Old 06-05-06, 08:34 PM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnBrooking
Sorry, I've just got to get this off my chest. Every day when my manager leaves work, he says to me, "Have a safe ride home." I know he means it well, but would he say it to fellow car driver?

I've started replying "You too."
It's way better than go-to-hell (and don't come back)
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Old 06-05-06, 08:36 PM   #23
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To clarify: I don't take offense. But he says it almost every night, so it's getting to be like water dripping. And he does tend to be a little paternalistic in other ways, too, so that's probably a contributing factor. The reason it bugs me, I think, is the implication that what I'm doing is so much less safe than, say, driving, hence my "you, too".

The "drive friendly" comeback is nice, but probably not applicable, because he already does. He's actually really a nice guy, it's just this slight paternalistic streak...

But I didn't mean for this thread to be all about me - what else do you hear that bugs YOU?
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Old 06-05-06, 08:41 PM   #24
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I tell the people who work for me, and drive, to have a safe drive home. My intention is to have everyone come back in the morning. I did not realise I was being " condescending."
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Old 06-05-06, 08:52 PM   #25
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Quote:
Originally Posted by unkchunk
When I drove a car regularly people would often say the same thing. So maybe you're being overly sensative about it. But then, it's the speaker's tone that shows condescention and not the words, so I can't be sure. I also hear that alot when riding too. I just figure people are genuinely concerned about me. That's not a really bad thing. What throws me is that I can't figure out why.
Perhaps they like you. Perhaps you are surrounded by genuinely nice people. If so, revel in it, and say, thank you, I will.
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