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  1. #1
    Senior Member awunder's Avatar
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    For Male Eyes Only

    If only because I'm going to have to be a bit of a pig, and I'm not actually like that, but you know what I'm talking about.

    Oh, and earlier today I was reading the thread about passing other commuters, so this was fresh in my mind.

    So, after work I needed to go up to the mall for some errands. Now I won't start in on how I loath the mall, but suffice it to say that the riding would be the best part of the trip (but isn't it always?). Except that, although the weather man specifically said today would be "calm" I found myself heading into a steady wind that gradually sapped my strength until the "quick trip" was turning into the Bataan Death Marc... ride.

    Other thing about the ride is that although there is a bike lane which is, in fact, wide enough for a bike, the pavement SUCKS. Especially on the return trip, a long gradual downhill allows me to clip 30 for just about the whole ride except that to do so is to take one's life and the life of one's wheels into one's hands!

    Anyway, about halfway up I spot another cyclist up ahead. A moment later I realize that even struggling uphill into a headwind at a paltry 15mph there's no way I'm not catching them. And the chase is on.

    A bit closer, and I realize that the target in question is a female cyclist on an old Shwinn bike boom somethingorother. Little indie-chick or some such. Sweet! Now for the question: Do I sacrafice my ride time and heart rate to hang back and watch the a$$ for a bit, or do I just take her down and smile nicely on my way by?

    I opted for a combination of the two, and worked on "clever thing to say not at all out of breath" as I passed, and also to catch my breath for a bit (remember the headwind which, naturally, was gusting by now). Quip and breath in hand, I made my attack.

    Rode up fast on her left and as I passed, gave her (and her bike) a quick once over, with momentary eye contact) and said "I'm sure (Name of weather man you've likely never heard of) said it wasn't going to be windy today" (not my finest line, but I didn't have anything else at the moment).

    And, of course, at the moment of final delivery, I ran smack into a huge pothole, resulting in:
    a) The last 2 words to come out "Uuff"
    b) A mad and not at all graceful scramble to keep the bike strainght and not vear into traffic, or, worse, cycle chik.

    Only to me this happens.

  2. #2
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Don't worry, indie chicks like awkward, goofy guys. You probably really impressed her! Now, dye your hair black and act depressed next time you see her.

  3. #3
    tsl
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    Plays in traffic tsl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kemmer
    Now, dye your hair black and act depressed next time you see her.


    Thanks. I needed that after a rough day.

  4. #4
    i am batman gregtheripper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kemmer
    Don't worry, indie chicks like awkward, goofy guys. You probably really impressed her! Now, dye your hair black and act depressed next time you see her.
    so very true. only reason i have a girlfriend right now.

  5. #5
    Me talk pretty one day. eyefloater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gregtheripper
    so very true. only reason i have a girlfriend right now.
    Ahh yes, another proud member of the "Dating Above Your Bracket" club.

  6. #6
    i am batman gregtheripper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eyefloater
    Ahh yes, another proud member of the "Dating Above Your Bracket" club.
    true in some respects. although i think she liked me first for the aformentioned reasons... heh not to get off topic or anything...

    yes, girls asses are good assets. on bike rides. right.

  7. #7
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    That's Murphy going, "Caught ya not looking!"

    Now the questions are, did she laugh and did you remain smooth and rectify the situation or did you slink off like a defeated h.s. nerd?
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  8. #8
    Drive the Bicycle.
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    Quote Originally Posted by awunder
    ...or do I just take her down and smile nicely on my way by?
    --- Just drive your bike.
    "The bicycle is the perfect transducer to match man's metabolic energy to the impedance of locomotion. Equipped with this tool, man outstrips the efficiency of not only all machines but all other animals as well." Ivan Illich ('Energy and Equity')1974

  9. #9
    neptune diner bennyk's Avatar
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    I think you over-strategized this. Don't be afraid to just let the moment develop, that way you won't get caught partway through your memorized lines...

  10. #10
    Skin-Pounder Bikes-N-Drums's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awunder
    Rode up fast on her left and as I passed, gave her (and her bike) a quick once over, with momentary eye contact) and said "I'm sure (Name of weather man you've likely never heard of) said it wasn't going to be windy today"
    You brought up the weather? Oh man.

    Ten years ago I'd see a girl and I'd think, "man, that's a nice butt". Today when I see them I'm more prone to think, "man, that's a nice bike".
    We are the musicmakers and we are the dreamers of dreams...

  11. #11
    Speed Demon *roll eyes*
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    Quote Originally Posted by awunder
    Only to me this happens.

    nope! I can remember waaaaaaaay back when I first got look pedals on my old Marinoni road bike having this happen: I was riding along, and pulled up to a red light beside a convertable. The convertable had 4 lovely girls in it. They were staring at me, and giggling and talking to each other. They kept staring at me, and I could not figure out why! (You must understand, I was a shy teenager - I loved the attention, but could not figure this out...) Finally, after sitting through almost the entire red light, I realized that they were staring at me because, in my delight at finding myself beside a car full of gorgeous girls, I had forgotten to unclip. Oh fatal realization! DOWN I went with a thump and a curse and landed on the grass by the side of the road. The girls leaned out and gasped and asked if I was ok. I said something witty about being ok but wishing I was dead and the light turned green and they left. The most annoying thing was, I scratched my bike!!! You know, there are times when the ground opening up and swallowing you is a really good thing...
    1998 Specialized S-works Hardtail - hotrodded
    2005 Kona Jake the Snake cyclocross

  12. #12
    Faith-Vigilance-Service Patriot's Avatar
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    Kharma perhaps?
    President, OCP
    --"Will you have some tea... at the theatre with me?"--

  13. #13
    Senior Member kf5nd's Avatar
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    observation: there are so many people out there trying to be "indie" that they seem like lemmings in a vast herd

  14. #14
    New! With Self Loathing! scottmorrison99's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kf5nd
    observation: there are so many people out there trying to be "indie" that they seem like lemmings in a vast herd

  15. #15
    45 miles/week Eggplant Jeff's Avatar
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    What the heck is "indie" anyway?
    Treasurer, HHCMF Club
    Now living in the land of the cheesesteak.
    But working at a job where I can't surf BikeForums all day any more...

  16. #16
    Senior Member awunder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kf5nd
    observation: there are so many people out there trying to be "indie" that they seem like lemmings in a vast herd
    Yeah, it's the "I died my hair and got a tatoo and a belly piercing so I can be an individual... just like all my friends" thing that gets to me.

  17. #17
    seeking simple
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    Quote Originally Posted by awunder
    Yeah, it's the "I died my hair and got a tatoo and a belly piercing so I can be an individual... just like all my friends" thing that gets to me.
    Well said.

  18. #18
    Senior Member oilfreeandhappy's Avatar
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    Meeting a girl riding a bicycle is probably a low probability. It's not like either one of you are riding your bike for that reason. Plus, as you demonstrated, the setting is not conducive to conversation. You would have been better off asking her to pull over, that you have a few questions. And then tell her you're doing some research on commuters, and you were interested in getting the female perspective. This would actually be the truth, since you are sharing the experience on this forum.

    At this point, the ice is broken, and who knows?
    Jim
    Make a BOLD Statement While Cycling!

  19. #19
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by oilfreeandhappy
    Plus, as you demonstrated, the setting is not conducive to conversation. You would have been better off asking her to pull over, that you have a few questions.
    Dude, that would never work. I'd say you'd have a 1 in 100 chance with that line. You've got a 50/50 shot with this one: "I really like your bike, what's your name?" followed by "hi <her name>, I'm <your name>." Sound too simple? It works.

    Here are 5 easy steps to the quick pick up:

    1. Start with a quick complement. Be genuine, yet creative. Complement something she's wearing, holding, doing or, in this case riding. The more unique the item the better. She picked it, so she probably likes it and she wants to hear that you like it too. It's something you have in common. She likes her bike, probably alot. You like her bike. She likes that you like her bike. DON'T complement her eyes, smile, hair, etc... (not now anyway, we'll get to that in a minute) She knows she has pretty eyes and she's heard it before. Now there's nothing interesting about you, you share nothing in common. You're just another guy who likes her eyes. Also try to avoid complementing things like band t-shirts or button etc... there are a crap-ton of guys who like green day, you want her to know that you're unique, just like her. If the band is local or not well known and you really do know and like the band, you're in good shape, otherwise avoid this area altogether.

    2. Ask her name. You need to know her name so you can call her by it. People love to hear their own name (read 7 habits of highly successful people).

    3. If you find an easy way to strike up a conversation, or if you have already started one go with it as long as it's natural. Don't force a conversation, if you can't find a good way to start one up, or if the conversation you are having is losing momentum, move on to 4.

    4. Now tell her you think she has a nice smile, nice hair, nice eyes or a nice laugh. (these are the best features, but if there's something else you like about her, go for it). She likes you now and will welcome this kind of complement. Obviously avoid complements about her body, for now anyway, that's 2nd or 3rd date stuff. If she looks even remotely like an attractive celebrity, tell her she reminds you of that person. Chances are at least one person has told her so in the past, and she will like it. This is an ultra quick step, almost a part of the last step.

    5. At this point you're done. You've done a good job or you haven't. She likes you or she doesn't. It's time to seal the deal. Tell her you think she's interesting and you'd like to get to know her better. Get a number. Tell her it was nice meeting her, but you have to go. You're too important to stand around chatting all day. You have places to be, people to meet, things to do. Even if the places are the dry cleaners and your moms house, the people are your cat and the mail man and the things to do are watering your lawn and checking your email.

    This should all be done in well under 5 minutes, unless you're in a social setting and even then it should be under 10 to 15 minutes unless there's some serious chemistry. There are some more advanced techniques for these settings if you want to keep her interest longer than that.

    I personally guarantee this method. You should be able to get the phone numbers of girls that are way out of your league using this technique. It could easily be done on a bike. Or in line at the store. Or on the bus. It's still a numbers game, the more times you do it, the more girls you'll meet. Some girls won't like you no matter what you do, but this is infinitely better than "some weather we're having" or "I have some questions about your bike riding habits, could you pull over?"

  20. #20
    *****es love tarck kemmer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by kf5nd
    observation: there are so many people out there trying to be "indie" that they seem like lemmings in a vast herd
    It's not so different from punk in the 80s and grunge in the 90s. They aren't any different from people wearing gap/Eddie Bauer "uniforms" or the many cyclists who look like a bunch of lance Armstrong wannabes. People ARE lemmings, face it.

  21. #21
    Senior Member slagjumper's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eggplant Jeff
    What the heck is "indie" anyway?
    This seems to break it down very well for a under 20 second read.
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Indie_(culture)

  22. #22
    Commuter JohnBrooking's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by awunder
    Yeah, it's the "I died my hair and got a tatoo and a belly piercing so I can be an individual... just like all my friends" thing that gets to me.
    Brian: You are all individuals!!
    Crowd: We are all individuals.
    One man in crowd: I'm not!!

    - Monty Python's Life of Brian

  23. #23
    Senior Member slagjumper's Avatar
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    You guys arn't confusing indie with individual are you? There is some "us and them" going on but you'll have that.

  24. #24
    Elitest Murray Owner Mos6502's Avatar
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    No confusion. We're all aware that indies are not individuals.

  25. #25
    Team Katana 古強者死神's Avatar
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    Its hard to "pick up" a girl while riding lets face it, not a great time to talk on the side of the road. On a bike trail it may be better, but then take into acount she already knows there are 500 other fish in the pond that like her "assets" too and she is gonna take the biggest fish home for dinner

    Know what I mean?

    I was a personal trainer at a local gym for a while, and with allll of those really hot girls that come to work out I didnt even try to pick up on them, and there is a good reason for that. I let the girls come to me and it works.

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