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  1. #1
    Designated Drinker Wulfheir's Avatar
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    Co-worker, "5km? That's nothing!"

    A co-worker just walked into my cubicle, looks at my bike and says, "How far do you have to ride?".
    I say, "5km".
    He says, "5km? That's nothing! I have 16 or 17km to come."
    Me, long confused pause, "That's right, 5km is nothing. Neither is the 2900km I've biked so far this year."

    In the 28 months I've been biking my measly 5km to work, year round, in canada, he has not biked to work once, but instead shows up in his SUV. Where does he get off walking into my cube telling me I'm essentially doing nothing?

    I'm going to go give him sh1t now, and I would appreciate some ammo from you. If you've ever wanted to give someone at your office sh1t, I will be your conduit. Have fun with it, I know I'm going to.
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  2. #2
    Zinophile tibikefor2's Avatar
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    The best response would be to laugh at him and tell him when is he going to meet your for the 5km.
    Tibikefor2

  3. #3
    J3L 2404 gbcb's Avatar
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    Peanut butter under the door handles?

  4. #4
    more ape than man timmhaan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wulfheir
    He says, "5km? That's nothing! I have 16 or 17km to come."
    wait, is this the distance he DRIVES to work?? what kind of comparison is that?

  5. #5
    Designated Drinker Wulfheir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by timmhaan
    wait, is this the distance he DRIVES to work???
    yes
    Quote Originally Posted by timmhaan
    what kind of comparison is that
    i have no idea
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  6. #6
    I am not a car Map tester's Avatar
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    Use these for ammo (many here bike farther that he drives):

    Distance poll one

    Distance poll two

    In fact, I bike his distance everyday, but what do I know, I'm just a 47 year old Clyde...
    "Bad facts make bad laws." FZ

  7. #7
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Shoot, 16km is like 40 mins. of leisurely riding for most of us. Just tell him you saved over $250 in gas by riding a bike instead of driving (assuming 10 km/l gas @ $0.85/l). Or you could tell him it's the hardest 5 km you've ever ridden cuz of all the women throwing their thongs at you w/ their tel. nos. scribbled on them.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



    We demand rigidly defined areas of doubt and uncertainty!

  8. #8
    Senior Member gear's Avatar
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    Reading your post I noticed you had a lot of good responses. Why are you asking us for input? In fact; why didn't you just say them then?

  9. #9
    Senior Member capejohn's Avatar
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    Tell him you do it half asleep and close one eye.
    Tell him you ride short handed and pull your arm into your sleeve until only your hand sticks out. Then tell him, "don't shoot, I'm unarmed".
    Bike riding New England gentleman.

  10. #10
    Designated Drinker Wulfheir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by gear
    Reading your post I noticed you had a lot of good responses. Why are you asking us for input? In fact; why didn't you just say them then?
    I was totally taken off guard. I didn't expect someone to insult me for fun.
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  11. #11
    Dog is my copilot. GGDub's Avatar
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    Figure out his model of SUV
    find its gas milage
    correct for the fact that since its used its gas milage is even lower
    multiply that by the average price of gas this summer
    add about $100 per month for the insurance costs of having the vehicle be a primary vehicle
    divide that number by the price for a case of pil (or whatever beer you shotgun)
    take the resulting number to him
    Rubber Side Down

  12. #12
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    16km is still not that much. (~9.9 miles) I do almost that much each way for my ride, and I feel like I'm doing nothing when I read about some people's 17, 20, and 25 mile (each way) commutes.


    Tell you cow-irker that you're amazed he can even stay awake after all the exertion it takes him to push his gas pedal for 17km!
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  13. #13
    Dog is my copilot. GGDub's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CliftonGK1
    16km is still not that much. (~9.9 miles) I do almost that much each way for my ride, and I feel like I'm doing nothing when I read about some people's 17, 20, and 25 mile (each way) commutes.


    Tell you cow-irker that you're amazed he can even stay awake after all the exertion it takes him to push his gas pedal for 17km!
    or

    "wow, all that exertion and you're still lazy and out of shape? Will wonders never cease?"
    Rubber Side Down

  14. #14
    Senior Member gear's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wulfheir
    I was totally taken off guard. I didn't expect someone to insult me for fun.
    You really are Canadian.

  15. #15
    Seņior Member ItsJustMe's Avatar
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    You're doing a hell of a lot more than he is. HE is doing nothing. You're at least doing something.

    I ride about 17KM to work daily, year round, in Michigan, in temps so far down to -15*C (as cold as it's gotten the last few years here).

    What's his excuse?
    Work: the 8 hours that separates bike rides.

  16. #16
    BF's Level 12 Wizard SingingSabre's Avatar
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    Meet him at his house (on your bike) when he's getting ready to go in and say "I thought you could use some company while riding in."
    "Oh, I don't ride in."
    "Oh, so you can't handle the 16km? I'll see you there."
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    Obviously, the guy's like a 12th level white wizard or something. His mere presence is a danger to mortals.

  17. #17
    Designated Drinker Wulfheir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GGDub
    Figure out his model of SUV
    find its gas milage
    correct for the fact that since its used its gas milage is even lower
    multiply that by the average price of gas this summer
    add about $100 per month for the insurance costs of having the vehicle be a primary vehicle
    divide that number by the price for a case of pil (or whatever beer you shotgun)
    take the resulting number to him
    This reminds me, despite him having lived in alberta for 18 years, he still has manitoba plates and insurance (to save money). Maybe I need to make a couple of phone calls after work today.
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  18. #18
    cyclist/gearhead/cycli... moxfyre's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wulfheir
    I'm going to go give him sh1t now, and I would appreciate some ammo from you. If you've ever wanted to give someone at your office sh1t, I will be your conduit. Have fun with it, I know I'm going to.
    Ride your bike to his house after work, and TP it. The next day, complain loudly and sarcastically about how far it was to ride out to his house, and how you wish you had a nice big air-conditioned SUV to do it in
    My bikes | Linux and Python stuff | Photo gallery

    Sheldon Brown, I miss you. Thanks for the advice, ideas, humor, and infectious enthusiasm for everything bikes...

  19. #19
    babyjuniorsonofa***** The_B.O.C.'s Avatar
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    tell him that the ride in from his mom's house is longer

  20. #20
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    Tell him your commute is uphill both ways.

  21. #21
    cyclist/gearhead/cycli... moxfyre's Avatar
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    Point out that he's fat, lazy, balding, and has trouble making friends ... cause I bet he is
    My bikes | Linux and Python stuff | Photo gallery

    Sheldon Brown, I miss you. Thanks for the advice, ideas, humor, and infectious enthusiasm for everything bikes...

  22. #22
    Desert tortise lsits's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by The_B.O.C.
    tell him that the ride in from his mom's house is longer
    Wish I didn't know now what I didn't know then. - Bob Seger

  23. #23
    Neat - w/ ice on the side dalmore's Avatar
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    5 km is how much further than he walks to his suv?
    Current favorite bumper sticker: Wag more. Bark less.

    Change you can believe in - Bigfoot Nessie 08

  24. #24
    Senior Member PatrickMcCabe's Avatar
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    I commute 12 miles (19.312km) in the morning and 8.5 (13.679km) in the evening
    and I have been told the same, "oh thats not too bad" and I reply its great excersize.
    Most of the time it comes from someone overweight, which always makes me smile.

    I agree with The_B.O.C.

  25. #25
    Senior Member CigTech's Avatar
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    I had a person tell me that he averaged 55 mph to work in his car. And that he almost broke into a sweat. I just said "Well next time just turn off the heater". He got mad and told me that 17 mile on a bike would take hime way to long to get to work. So I reply with "It only takes me 55 min." So he then turns and walkes away slowly. What can I say he's old.
    May your feet keep move'n with the wind to your back.

    CigTech

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