Wulfheir

A co-worker just walked into my cubicle, looks at my bike and says, "How far do you have to ride?".
I say, "5km".
He says, "5km? That's nothing! I have 16 or 17km to come."
Me, long confused pause, "That's right, 5km is nothing. Neither is the 2900km I've biked so far this year."

In the 28 months I've been biking my measly 5km to work, year round, in canada, he has not biked to work once, but instead shows up in his SUV. Where does he get off walking into my cube telling me I'm essentially doing nothing?

I'm going to go give him sh1t now, and I would appreciate some ammo from you. If you've ever wanted to give someone at your office sh1t, I will be your conduit. Have fun with it, I know I'm going to.

tibikefor2

The best response would be to laugh at him and tell him when is he going to meet your for the 5km.

gbcb

Peanut butter under the door handles?

timmhaan

wait, is this the distance he DRIVES to work?? what kind of comparison is that?

Wulfheir

yes
i have no idea

Map tester

Use these for ammo (many here bike farther that he drives):

Distance poll one

Distance poll two

In fact, I bike his distance everyday, but what do I know, I'm just a 47 year old Clyde...

jyossarian

Shoot, 16km is like 40 mins. of leisurely riding for most of us. Just tell him you saved over $250 in gas by riding a bike instead of driving (assuming 10 km/l gas @ $0.85/l). Or you could tell him it's the hardest 5 km you've ever ridden cuz of all the women throwing their thongs at you w/ their tel. nos. scribbled on them.

gear

Reading your post I noticed you had a lot of good responses. Why are you asking us for input? In fact; why didn't you just say them then?

capejohn

Tell him you do it half asleep and close one eye.
Tell him you ride short handed and pull your arm into your sleeve until only your hand sticks out. Then tell him, "don't shoot, I'm unarmed".

Wulfheir

I was totally taken off guard. I didn't expect someone to insult me for fun.

GGDub

Figure out his model of SUV
find its gas milage
correct for the fact that since its used its gas milage is even lower
multiply that by the average price of gas this summer
add about $100 per month for the insurance costs of having the vehicle be a primary vehicle
divide that number by the price for a case of pil (or whatever beer you shotgun)
take the resulting number to him

CliftonGK1

16km is still not that much. (~9.9 miles) I do almost that much each way for my ride, and I feel like I'm doing nothing when I read about some people's 17, 20, and 25 mile (each way) commutes.


Tell you cow-irker that you're amazed he can even stay awake after all the exertion it takes him to push his gas pedal for 17km!

GGDub

or

"wow, all that exertion and you're still lazy and out of shape? Will wonders never cease?"

gear

You really are Canadian.

ItsJustMe

You're doing a hell of a lot more than he is. HE is doing nothing. You're at least doing something.

I ride about 17KM to work daily, year round, in Michigan, in temps so far down to -15*C (as cold as it's gotten the last few years here).

What's his excuse?

SingingSabre 

Meet him at his house (on your bike) when he's getting ready to go in and say "I thought you could use some company while riding in."
"Oh, I don't ride in."
"Oh, so you can't handle the 16km? I'll see you there."

Wulfheir

This reminds me, despite him having lived in alberta for 18 years, he still has manitoba plates and insurance (to save money). Maybe I need to make a couple of phone calls after work today.

moxfyre

Ride your bike to his house after work, and TP it. The next day, complain loudly and sarcastically about how far it was to ride out to his house, and how you wish you had a nice big air-conditioned SUV to do it in

The_B.O.C.

tell him that the ride in from his mom's house is longer

Gatsby

Tell him your commute is uphill both ways.

moxfyre

Point out that he's fat, lazy, balding, and has trouble making friends ... cause I bet he is

lsits

dalmore

5 km is how much further than he walks to his suv?

PatrickMcCabe

I commute 12 miles (19.312km) in the morning and 8.5 (13.679km) in the evening
and I have been told the same, "oh thats not too bad" and I reply its great excersize.
Most of the time it comes from someone overweight, which always makes me smile.

I agree with The_B.O.C.

CigTech

I had a person tell me that he averaged 55 mph to work in his car. And that he almost broke into a sweat. I just said "Well next time just turn off the heater". He got mad and told me that 17 mile on a bike would take hime way to long to get to work. So I reply with "It only takes me 55 min." So he then turns and walkes away slowly. What can I say he's old.