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  1. #1
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    My ride home last night.

    Last night I was blasting down the pitch black bike path at about 25 mph.

    It was dark and I had my lights off, I did not want to scare any cars as I blasted through all the road intersections at full speed. I felt pretty safe, I was driving my new jet black Hummer. The knobbies were giving out that cyclist and deer warning sound they always do (whirrrr). All of a sudden some idiot on a bicycle ! starts coming right at me. Like he owns the @#$%^&* road...uh..bike path.
    He aims this stupid blue light right in my eyes. I kept looking into the light to see what he was doing, but that made it harder to see. Who knew?
    The idiot rode straight into my grill on my new Hummer! I went into a complete panic! I jumped out and ran to the front of the Hummer...........to check for damage to my new baby. That !@#$%^ cyclist bent the corner of my license plate and but a huge 3" scratch in my bumper. I was ripped! But I got back in to go home. When I took off it felt like one of the tires went over a big log or some kind of bump. At the same time there was a terrifying scream !!
    Even though my Hummer has bullet proof glass and three inch thick solid steel blast protection in the sides and the bottom, I was really scared of that screaming sound, let me tell you, I was petrified. !!! I rolled up the windows, turned on the 26 speaker stereo and cranked it up to 400 watts, there was no way unless he had been racing he could have kept up to my radio, and floored it to get out of there. I was so afraid of that screaming I could not drive on the bike path anymore. I went out onto the road and turned my lights on. I made it home, but the @!#$%^&* traffic held me up for almost 15 seconds.
    If I ever see that cyclist again, I’m going to run him off the road. I think I'll swerve into his bike lock with my side window!



    Elvis has left the building
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
    Tail End Charlie Ritehsedad's Avatar
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    Ouch.
    Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?

  3. #3
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2manybikes
    Last night I was blasting down the pitch black bike path at about 25 mph.

    It was dark and I had my lights off, I did not want to scare any cars as I blasted through all the road intersections at full speed. I felt pretty safe, I was driving my new jet black Hummer. The knobbies were giving out that cyclist and deer warning sound they always do (whirrrr). All of a sudden some idiot on a bicycle ! starts coming right at me. Like he owns the @#$%^&* road...uh..bike path...
    Was he wearing a helmet? If not, he got what he deserved. If he was, he still got what he deserved, but no doubt came away unscathed.

  4. #4
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
    Was he wearing a helmet? If not, he got what he deserved. If he was, he still got what he deserved, but no doubt came away unscathed.



    He should have been riding in the right center dynamic-static left side of the center, right lane too.
    If practicable.

    AND !!! He did not use a hand signal. Nor did he have a reflective vest with blinking lights on it!

    Idiot @#$%^&*(

    If he had an eight foot high mast with two Realights on it he hever would have been hit!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  5. #5
    Baby it's cold outside... ViperZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2manybikes
    Last night I was blasting down the pitch black bike path at about 25 mph.

    It was dark and I had my lights off, I did not want to scare any cars as I blasted through all the road intersections at full speed. I felt pretty safe, I was driving my new jet black Hummer. The knobbies were giving out that cyclist and deer warning sound they always do (whirrrr). All of a sudden some idiot on a bicycle ! starts coming right at me. Like he owns the @#$%^&* road...uh..bike path.
    He aims this stupid blue light right in my eyes. I kept looking into the light to see what he was doing, but that made it harder to see. Who knew?
    The idiot rode straight into my grill on my new Hummer! I went into a complete panic! I jumped out and ran to the front of the Hummer...........to check for damage to my new baby. That !@#$%^ cyclist bent the corner of my license plate and but a huge 3" scratch in my bumper. I was ripped! But I got back in to go home. When I took off it felt like one of the tires went over a big log or some kind of bump. At the same time there was a terrifying scream !!
    Even though my Hummer has bullet proof glass and three inch thick solid steel blast protection in the sides and the bottom, I was really scared of that screaming sound, let me tell you, I was petrified. !!! I rolled up the windows, turned on the 26 speaker stereo and cranked it up to 400 watts, there was no way unless he had been racing he could have kept up to my radio, and floored it to get out of there. I was so afraid of that screaming I could not drive on the bike path anymore. I went out onto the road and turned my lights on. I made it home, but the @!#$%^&* traffic held me up for almost 15 seconds.
    If I ever see that cyclist again, I’m going to run him off the road. I think I'll swerve into his bike lock with my side window!



    Next time you see him, don't forget to "introduce him to your 2 friends, Bumper and Pavement"


    Good one!
    -Trek 5000* -Project Litespeed* -The Italian Job* -Rocky Wedge* -The Canadian Connection*

  6. #6
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ViperZ



    Next time you see him, don't forget to "introduce him to your 2 friends, Bumper and Pavement"


    Good one!


    YES !!

    How did I forget that !!!

    Next time we all have to get together first to make sure nothing gets left out.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Last edited by 2manybikes; 10-28-06 at 08:56 AM.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
    your nightmare gal chipcom's Avatar
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    I'm appalled! You dirty, stinkin, rotten, ****, ****, [MODERATOR REMOVED], cager scum! If that would have been me, I would have given you a blast with my Airzound, dialed it up to 400 watts and played chicken with your gas-guzzlin arse with my Death Star lights in your eyes - swerving at the last second, my reflexes honed by my PEEK-A-BOO lane positioning techniques, snapping your picture with my trusty helmet-mounted camera so I could report you to the authorities after you crashed into a ditch. As a final act of defiance, I would have left an organ donor card under your windshield wiper, as your steel monster sat there in the ditch like a beached whale. Just to add insult to injury, I would have given you a wave as I rode off into the sunset, resuming my quest to rid the roadways of cagers, helmetless riders, and poseurs!
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  8. #8
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom
    I'm appalled! You dirty, stinkin, rotten, ****, ****, [MODERATOR REMOVED], cager scum! If that would have been me, I would have given you a blast with my Airzound, dialed it up to 400 watts and played chicken with your gas-guzzlin arse with my Death Star lights in your eyes - swerving at the last second, my reflexes honed by my PEEK-A-BOO lane positioning techniques, snapping your picture with my trusty helmet-mounted camera so I could report you to the authorities after you crashed into a ditch. As a final act of defiance, I would have left an organ donor card under your windshield wiper, as your steel monster sat there in the ditch like a beached whale. Just to add insult to injury, I would have given you a wave as I rode off into the sunset, resuming my quest to rid the roadways of cagers, helmetless riders, and poseurs!
    Adding in the Death Star was a nice touch. Well done Chipcom.

    May your Fuji carbon fiber fork last for another day or two.

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  9. #9
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2manybikes
    If he had an eight foot high mast with two Realights on it he hever would have been hit!
    You forget. Only Real Men™ have an eight foot high mast with two Realights.

  10. #10
    Dog is my co-pilot 2manybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
    You forget. Only Real Men™ have an eight foot high mast with two Realights.
    Excellent !!!
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    Baby it's cold outside... ViperZ's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 2manybikes


    YES !!

    How did I forget that !!!

    Next time we all have to get together first to make sure nothing gets left out.

    Funny Stuff, love the cartoon
    -Trek 5000* -Project Litespeed* -The Italian Job* -Rocky Wedge* -The Canadian Connection*

  12. #12
    SERENITY NOW!!! jyossarian's Avatar
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    Dirty stinkin' wrong way cyclist! Who's he think he is riding on a bike path blinding everyone w/ his stupid lights? Probably some hippy right wing liberal who thinks he has rights just cuz he pays taxes. Probably had those stupid leotards they wear too.
    HHCMF - Take pride in your ability to amaze lesser mortals! - MikeR



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