Top 10 Reasons to Drive an SUV IN THE CITY.
10. In case there’s some kind of apocalyptic, Mad Max future, I’ll be prepared.
9. Always picked last in kickball — it’s payback time.
8. They were out of Priuses.
7. Truly hate trees and environment stuff that needs clean air.
6. Do a lot of sport-utility driving. In the woods. Planning to, anyway.
5. Very small penis.
4. Doing my part to speed depletion of fossil fuels so we can finally turn our attention to finding sources of renewable energy.
3. Required for all members of P. Diddy’s security detail.
2. In the great likelihood that will I run up on a Midtown sidewalk and crash into a Foot Locker, I know that I’ll probably be uninjured.
1. Want to ride up high where the cyclists are.
Edit: It's a slow day at work....