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Old 11-30-06, 02:49 PM   #1
Bklyn
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Top 10 Reasons to Drive an SUV

EDIT:
Top 10 Reasons to Drive an SUV IN THE CITY.

10. In case there’s some kind of apocalyptic, Mad Max future, I’ll be prepared.

9. Always picked last in kickball — it’s payback time.

8. They were out of Priuses.

7. Truly hate trees and environment stuff that needs clean air.

6. Do a lot of sport-utility driving. In the woods. Planning to, anyway.

5. Very small penis.

4. Doing my part to speed depletion of fossil fuels so we can finally turn our attention to finding sources of renewable energy.

3. Required for all members of P. Diddy’s security detail.

2. In the great likelihood that will I run up on a Midtown sidewalk and crash into a Foot Locker, I know that I’ll probably be uninjured.

1. Want to ride up high where the cyclists are.



Edit: It's a slow day at work....

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Old 11-30-06, 02:55 PM   #2
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11. It's snowing and the bike lane is full of abandoned cars. 8" of snow elsewhere
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Old 11-30-06, 03:05 PM   #3
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Your child is beaten on the playground so you go purchase a hummer. (or whatever those idiotic commercials aimed at women did)
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Old 11-30-06, 03:06 PM   #4
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Meh. '03 Explorer XLS. Cloth interior, 16" wheels, plastic unpainted bumpers, FFV (runs on E85), V6.






By the way, that trail is a lot more fun on a mountain bike.

And you forgot to add:

12. I like to go camping with 3 other people, with room left for a huge tent, lots of coolers full of beer and meat, excessive amounts of fishing gear, and 2 bikes hanging from a rear-mounted rack.

Some of us do, in fact, have practical and fun uses for an SUV aside from tearing-ass on the pavement like we own the road.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:10 PM   #5
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Sorry. I'm a little New York-centric. (Like everybody who lives here.) The only SUV's I ever see (and I see a lot of them) are usually stuck in traffic and honking.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:15 PM   #6
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That sucks. Sounds about like most SUVs here. Except they're not stuck in traffic, they're blasting down the highway at 90 MPH (even when it's icy like this morning)

I ride my bike, or drive my 42-MPG Escort when I need to go somewhere. I let the wife drive the Explorer since she only works 3 miles from home, and we put ethanol-blend fuel in it when we can (Odd that it's hard to find E85 in Kansas).

I was just rattling your cage a bit. We're not ALL stereotypical SUV drivers, but I'll gladly concede that most are.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:18 PM   #7
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I love this thing. Small, manouverable, carries two bikes with everything else, gets reasonable gas mileage, and was built in '96 so it qualifies as 're-cycled' because I bought it used. Not the highest quality vehicle, but it was cheaper than dirt. I do frequent the road less travelled.

I can't quite figure out the Hummer Mentality, though. Or, all the super bright driving lites for city use??

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Old 11-30-06, 03:19 PM   #8
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To go off road camping deep in Baja... and carry a weeks supply of supplies, and the fat tire bike. Isn't that what SUVs are for? I have plenty of scratches on my 4WD Toyota to show that it doesn't speed it's time in parking lots.

I also SCUBA dive, which is the thing that really caused me to leave a car free lifestyle in the first place.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:36 PM   #9
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Mountaineering in Washington: The drive to most trailheads in the winter means crossing the freeze line. I've never seen anything aside from a modded Jeep or other off-road capable truck make it up the unpaved, unplowed, unmaintained logging roads that pass for trailheads around here.

6. Do a lot of sport-utility driving. In the woods.
Yes. I actually do.
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Old 11-30-06, 03:44 PM   #10
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13) You have heavy children, not old enough to get into their own child seat, when you're tired of throwing your back from lifting that weight while leaning into a sedan. Don't laugh until you've been there.
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Old 11-30-06, 04:02 PM   #11
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Originally Posted by DataJunkie
Your child is beaten on the playground so you go purchase a hummer. (or whatever those idiotic commercials aimed at women did)
That'll show 'em!
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Old 11-30-06, 04:23 PM   #12
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14. Because your bike and trailer are less expensive, get better mileage and work better for getting your everyday stuff around than an economy car. The other stuff is either too big for an economy car, or too heavy to tow safely.
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Old 11-30-06, 05:42 PM   #13
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Because you never outgrew your adolescence and your self-image and self-esteem are wrapped up completely in the car you drive and the superficial image you project to your peers. So instead of having the cajones to drive a mini-van that would suit you much better, be safer, and get better mileage to boot, you get an SUV because more than anything, you just want to fit in.
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Old 11-30-06, 05:44 PM   #14
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Only vehicle with a large enuff back window to display
your complete collection of huge #3, little kid urinating,
rebel flag, yellow ribbon, W=- type decals.
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Old 11-30-06, 05:44 PM   #15
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Originally Posted by -=Łem in Pa=-
Only vehicle with a large enuff back window to display
a complete collection of huge #3, little kid urinating,
rebel flag, yellow ribbon, W=- type decals.
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Old 11-30-06, 06:06 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TimJ
Because you never outgrew your adolescence and your self-image and self-esteem are wrapped up completely in the car you drive and the superficial image you project to your peers. So instead of having the cajones to drive a mini-van that would suit you much better, be safer, and get better mileage to boot, you get an SUV because more than anything, you just want to fit in.
Or maybe you don't drive one because your self-image is all wrapped up in being self-righteous about other people's supposed environmental shortcomings.
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Old 11-30-06, 06:28 PM   #17
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Originally Posted by Treespeed
Or maybe you don't drive one because your self-image is all wrapped up in being self-righteous about other people's supposed environmental shortcomings.
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize my snarky post re: 'top reasons to drive an SUV in the city' was directed personally at you. I'm terribly sorry for getting so personal and attacking you, Treespeed, with my laser-pinpoint personal attack on your person.

Thank you for directing your invective specifically at me, I wouldn't have realized how I personally attacked you- on a real personal level- if you wouldn't have done so. Thank you Treespeed, you are a wonderful human being.
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Old 11-30-06, 07:15 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by TimJ
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize my snarky post re: 'top reasons to drive an SUV in the city' was directed personally at you.
So who was it directed against?

Does your snarky mea culpa mean you are NOT self-righteous about other people's supposed environmental shortcomings?
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Old 11-30-06, 07:36 PM   #19
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So who was it directed against?

Does your snarky mea culpa mean you are NOT self-righteous about other people's supposed environmental shortcomings?
What is wrong with you? The both of you? Seriously? I don't even know how to respond. Good lord, it's a jokey thread, #5 on the author's list is "very small penis", are you going to ask him if he's accusing you of having a small penis, or who exactly it is he's making the accusation against? Ought treespeed respond by saying something to the effect "perhaps you're projecting your own penis size on those you say have environmental shortcomings?" Holy smokes.

And where did I mention anything about environmental shortcomings? Show me the sentence, or words, or phrase, or series of hand-motions that says anything about SUVs and the environment. Did I write it in invisible ink? Do I need to print out screenshot of this page and hold it over a candle? And where's my mea-culpa? That's sarcasm. The literal meaning is hidden, you see. If I would have been literal about it I would have written something like "I was making a snarky comment in the spirit of the thread and it wasn't directed at anyone, which within the context seems very obvious. You on the other hand felt the need to go out of your way to put words in my mouth and attack me personally, and throw a little insult there in to boot. What's wrong with you?" Understand now? First post- snark in the spirit of the thread. Second post- sarcasm pointing out how uncalled-for tree's insult was.

Seriously, what is wrong with you two?
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Old 11-30-06, 07:53 PM   #20
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Originally Posted by TimJ

Seriously, what is wrong with you two?
You. Seriously. And your snarky generalizations that reflect poorly upon yourself. Don't want to be criticized? Don't contribute to dopey threads that are all about generalizations and stereotyping those who don't fit the PC or provincial (AKA Brooklyn) definition of the correct profile for cycle commuters.
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Old 11-30-06, 07:56 PM   #21
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There are a lot more ways to waste dead dinosaur juice than driving your personal vehicle.
I have way more bikes than I have a practical use for and that goes double for music gear. All this stuff takes non-renewable resources to produce and get into my grubby little hands. I'm not going to tout myself as some kind of Paragon of environmental virtue. I'm an otherwise typical American consumer who does not own a car.

That said, I still don't understand the supposed need for these vehicles.
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Old 11-30-06, 08:47 PM   #22
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Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike
You. Seriously. And your snarky generalizations that reflect poorly upon yourself. Don't want to be criticized? Don't contribute to dopey threads that are all about generalizations and stereotyping those who don't fit the PC or provincial (AKA Brooklyn) definition of the correct profile for cycle commuters.
Wow. You have got issues. You know when some group of people or a single person or whatever get together and make jokes about some material thing I enjoy, or own, or approve of, it doesn't even show up on my radar because I don't care. why would I care what someone thinks about, uh, let's say cats? And cats are even more personal than a car, but if for instance there's some sort of dog's rule and cats suck sort of thing online, or in coversation, or whatever, and someone says something like "people who like cats are stuck up" or something like that (which of course happens because the mighty internets are the dregs or society) , you couldn't get me to care. Put a gun to my head I still couldn't work up one one-hundrenth of the paranoid victim-complex you've got going. I mean, my god, you've completely internalized some joke you read on the internet to the point that you're practically calling me a f**king *ss**le. I'm you're problem? PC correct profile?

Are you insane? I didn't even star tthe thread, you psycho, I just made a one-off joke.
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Old 11-30-06, 08:48 PM   #23
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Apparently I touched a nerve that I didn't intend. It was a waste-of-time joke, and I actually didn't think that there'd be so many commuters who have SUV's. An SUV in the city is worthy of ridicule, in my opinion. But it is a cultural thing: Treespeed lives in Los Angeles, and (I'm a little shaky on cultures of foeign lands), but I think car ownership is different out there. But I really didn't want to start a fight. I meant it humorously, but as with anything that tries to be funny, there's supposed to be truth within it.

And I actually was talking about I-Like-to-Bike with the very small penis line.

ANYWAY....
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Old 11-30-06, 09:20 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bklyn
Apparently I touched a nerve that I didn't intend. It was a waste-of-time joke, and I actually didn't think that there'd be so many commuters who have SUV's. An SUV in the city is worthy of ridicule, in my opinion. But it is a cultural thing: Treespeed lives in Los Angeles, and (I'm a little shaky on cultures of foeign lands), but I think car ownership is different out there. But I really didn't want to start a fight. I meant it humorously, but as with anything that tries to be funny, there's supposed to be truth within it.

And I actually was talking about I-Like-to-Bike with the very small penis line.

ANYWAY....
BKLYN,

Yeah, you're right about car ownership in Los Angeles, but I'm a recent Seattle refuge so I drive a nice Old Volvo Wagon. Trust me I get the joke, and I liked your top ten list. I just found TimJ's addition a little too self righteous as he imagined the psychological underpinnings of someone's car choice. Then his whiny defense was just so perfect. It's okay to bash on SUV drivers, but not on SUV bashers.
Obviously no one knows why anyone drives any particular car until you ask them.
My wife drives a wicked black turbo Audi A4 with dark tinted windows, but the only reason she got it was because she wanted a lease return with a good warranty and side impact airbags.

And TimJ I didn't take anything personally, and I certainly didn't direct my remarks at you personally. I was just making a broad generalization just as you did. Did you not appreciate that? I'm so sorry I didn't realize you couldn't take a joke, it was a joke thread according to you. So again so very sorry about hurting your feelings.

Do you need a hug?
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Old 11-30-06, 09:34 PM   #25
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Seriously, what is wrong with you two?
See #5.
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