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  1. #1
    Senior Member thdave's Avatar
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    Help Me with a Witty Retort

    Some bozo on our place of work's electronic builiten board at work complained about how 99% of the cyclist commuters coming to work here run a red light nearby our lab's entrance. I responded:

    > That light won't change if you approach it on your bike.
    >
    > Keep in mind that the cyclist who runs a light or stop sign only endangers
    > himself, unlike the driver of a 4000 pound car.

    He replied:
    "hmmm... a 150+lb person + bicycle hits the front of your car and could
    possibly go through your windshield causing you serious harm. Plus,
    let's not forget about the emotional damage of seriously hurting or
    killing of another human being. Oh, and let's not forget about the
    greedy family of the injured/deceased who will probably try to sue you
    because you were going 36 in a 35 (or pick your favorite detail) and
    will at least get nuisance money."

    Yeah, it ticks you off, too, I'm sure. 150# vs. 4000? Give me a break. Any help with a witty retort?

    I was thinking something like:
    With this logic, prison immates need counselors to deal with their emotional damage of hurting someone else.

    I think I'm close, but it's really not that good.

    Any thoughts?
    Cleveland, OH
    Breezer fan

  2. #2
    Al noisebeam's Avatar
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    What percentage stop fully before proceeding on a light that won't get triggered by bicycle?

    What percent stop and wait for green when there is a motor vehicle that has triggered the sensor?

    How many cyclists have written a request to have the sensor tuned so it can be triggered by aluminum bicycle wheels?

    The only argument you can logically make and backed by law is that the light sensor does not trigger for bicycles - and that is only if cyclist fully stops and then only proceeds when clear. Every other 'argument' is an excuse.

    Al

  3. #3
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    How about, "Dude, stop the stress, you won't hit me as I'll just bunnyhop your Geo Metro."

    ?

    That said, don't pick a fight with someone on a work board. I knew someone that did that and it turned out to be a guy a few rungs up directly from him on the company ladder.

    Also, "running" lights is absolutely dumb. I'm assuming that running=reckless. A safe approach and continuing is a different subject. Maybe re-direct it that way?

  4. #4
    Senior Member DieselDan's Avatar
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    Best to ignore them, like DataSystems.
    Bikes use brakes to stop.

    If your bike has breaks, don't ride it.

  5. #5
    Senior Member maddyfish's Avatar
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    WHy not get the light fixed? Then, after it is fixed, hopefully you can get a cop to write some tickets to the stop light runners.
    Not too much to say here

  6. #6
    nashcommguy
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    "Jerkstore!" Go w/Jerkstore!

  7. #7
    Senior Member littlewaywelt's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by thdave View Post
    Some bozo on our place of work's electronic builiten board at work complained about how 99% of the cyclist commuters coming to work here run a red light nearby our lab's entrance. I responded:

    > That light won't change if you approach it on your bike.
    >
    > Keep in mind that the cyclist who runs a light or stop sign only endangers
    > himself, unlike the driver of a 4000 pound car.

    He replied:
    "hmmm... a 150+lb person + bicycle hits the front of your car and could
    possibly go through your windshield causing you serious harm. Plus,
    let's not forget about the emotional damage of seriously hurting or
    killing of another human being. Oh, and let's not forget about the
    greedy family of the injured/deceased who will probably try to sue you
    because you were going 36 in a 35 (or pick your favorite detail) and
    will at least get nuisance money."

    Yeah, it ticks you off, too, I'm sure. 150# vs. 4000? Give me a break. Any help with a witty retort?

    I was thinking something like:
    With this logic, prison immates need counselors to deal with their emotional damage of hurting someone else.

    I think I'm close, but it's really not that good.

    Any thoughts?
    I'd simply respond by asking him to find one instance of a cyclist killing a driver when there are ~700+ cyclists that die each year in accidents.

    As to lawsuits, if they are without merit a judge can dismiss it anytime.

    As to high damages vs greed, ask him how he'd feel if a FedEx driver, driving 36 in a 35, but not paying attention, ran over and killed his kid/wife/father who was crossing the street. The simple truth is that the overwhelming majority of big ticket successful lawsuits like he mentions have standing.

    Civil suits are not just for compensation they are also for punitive reasons, and it can take a big judgement to punish effectively.


    Unfortunately, I'm not witty. If that's what you really need, I agree...go with jerkstore.
    One Less Car
    Conservation begins with you.

  8. #8
    ****** squegeeboo's Avatar
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    Witty response A:
    Go *BEEP* yourself

    Witty response B:
    Your mom doesn't seem to mind when I run her red light.
    In the words of Einstein
    "And now I think I'll take a bath"

  9. #9
    Senior Member thdave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RadioFlyer View Post
    How about, "Dude, stop the stress, you won't hit me as I'll just bunnyhop your Geo Metro."

    ?

    That said, don't pick a fight with someone on a work board. I knew someone that did that and it turned out to be a guy a few rungs up directly from him on the company ladder.

    Also, "running" lights is absolutely dumb. I'm assuming that running=reckless. A safe approach and continuing is a different subject. Maybe re-direct it that way?
    If you approach a light day in day out that doesn't respond, you will, no matter how good a citizen you are, manage your way through as best you can. Obviously, I wait when cars are in front of me, so the only problem is when I get there first, which seems to happen about half the time.

    I suppose I should call the city, but I haven't.

    This guy isn't "up the ladder." Besides, I don't want to pick a fight--I just want to give his comments some perspective, in a light hearted way.
    Cleveland, OH
    Breezer fan

  10. #10
    Senior Member SingleSpeeDemon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nashcommguy View Post
    "Jerkstore!" Go w/Jerkstore!
    Took my answer...
    My Current Bikes:

    • 1993 Giant Kronos
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  11. #11
    Call me The Breeze I_bRAD's Avatar
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    I don't stop for reds when there's no traffic, but a driver swerving to miss a red light running cyclist could easily get hurt or killed, so don't kid yourself.

    Anyhoo, My witty retort is don't waste your time in a pissing match and enjoy riding your bike. I swear my partner can't get on a bike without getting into it with somebody and it doesn't look like fun to me. I ride my bike, I get there first and happiest and that's good enough for me. You're not going to change anyone's behaviour but your own, so don't waste your time.

  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by thdave View Post
    If you approach a light day in day out that doesn't respond, you will, no matter how good a citizen you are, manage your way through as best you can. Obviously, I wait when cars are in front of me, so the only problem is when I get there first, which seems to happen about half the time.
    FYI, I wasn't passing judgement on ya. I do it all the time. It's just that people have different meanings for different words.

    If I'm in the middle of nowhere with visibility for a mile where I can see cars, animals, kids, whatever and NO ONE is around, of course I wouldn't stop.

    How about this... equate what you're doing to what many drivers do at stop signs, "rolling stops"?

  13. #13
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    1. When did you decide to become the traffic nanny, wagging your finger at me. Grow up.

    2. Who died and made you a crossing guard?

    3. And you've never run a red li9ght or blown a stop sign, right.

    4. Mind your own business, is your life so pitiful you have nothing better to do than complain about cyclists.

    5. Why do you hate cyclists?

    6. Race ya, fatboy.
    Il faut de l'audace, encore de l'audace, toujours de l'audace

    1980 3Rensho-- 1975 Raleigh Sprite 3spd
    1990s Raleigh M20 MTB--2007 Windsor Hour (track)
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  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by San Rensho View Post
    1. When did you decide to become the traffic nanny, wagging your finger at me. Grow up.

    2. Who died and made you a crossing guard?

    3. And you've never run a red li9ght or blown a stop sign, right.

    4. Mind your own business, is your life so pitiful you have nothing better to do than complain about cyclists.

    5. Why do you hate cyclists?

    6. Race ya, fatboy.
    Excellent!


    I do like "Jerkstore!" too.

    How about with #5, modify it to the recent stand-by... "Why do you hate freedom?"

  15. #15
    Senior Member thdave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by littlewaywelt View Post
    I'd simply respond by asking him to find one instance of a cyclist killing a driver when there are ~700+ cyclists that die each year in accidents.

    As to lawsuits, if they are without merit a judge can dismiss it anytime.

    As to high damages vs greed, ask him how he'd feel if a FedEx driver, driving 36 in a 35, but not paying attention, ran over and killed his kid/wife/father who was crossing the street. The simple truth is that the overwhelming majority of big ticket successful lawsuits like he mentions have standing.

    Civil suits are not just for compensation they are also for punitive reasons, and it can take a big judgement to punish effectively.


    Unfortunately, I'm not witty. If that's what you really need, I agree...go with jerkstore.

    Good post. What's with "jerkstore?" I want to laugh with you, but it's going right over my head.
    Cleveland, OH
    Breezer fan

  16. #16
    Dances With Cars TRaffic Jammer's Avatar
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    Number 6!!!!

  17. #17
    Senior Member one_beatnik's Avatar
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    Race ya, fatboy.
    +2

  18. #18
    Senior Member mtnwalker's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nashcommguy View Post
    "Jerkstore!" Go w/Jerkstore!
    "Oh, yeah! Well, I've been sleeping with your wife!"
    "Of all the things I like bestos, I like asbestos." - A co-worker

  19. #19
    nashcommguy
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    Quote Originally Posted by thdave View Post
    Good post. What's with "jerkstore?" I want to laugh with you, but it's going right over my head.
    Seinfeld episode where George obsesses on a clever response to a co-worker's remark.

  20. #20
    ride for a change modernjess's Avatar
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    Dude, the initial response was the time to be witty. Do not engage this moron, it's a troll.

    At this point you have one choice. It's Jerk store, or nothing.

    Jerk store would be truly funny.

  21. #21
    Cycle Year Round CB HI's Avatar
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    Post a pic of the guy stopped in the crosswalk at that light, with a subtitle of "Look who can't obey the law"

  22. #22
    not a role model JeffS's Avatar
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    You can't win this pissing match, and have probably already made things worse by what you have said. Just walk away from it.

  23. #23
    a big man
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    You should have just said the thing about the light not changing for bicycles. Your other arguments are weak.

    I would respond by saying that the other guy is right about the safety of running red lights on a bike, it is dangerous, but the light won't change for bikes, so they have to run it.

  24. #24
    Commuter First newbojeff's Avatar
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    Jerkstore is tempting.

    Does the light not trigger even if you lay your bike more horizontally over a corner of the sensor?

    (NB: if your bike is carbon, never mind)

  25. #25
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    The best part about 'Jerkstore" is you can always follow it up with "I had sex with your wife!!!!"* if it doesn't work.

    *Don't use if the guy's wife is in a coma.

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