Cody Broken

How do I convince my wife I won't get run over riding my bike in the snow?
The story:
This Summer we went from a 4 car to a 1 car household. We live 4 miles from our shop that my wife and I own and run. I have sporadically bicycle commuted to and from the shop, saving money, improving my fitness, and mitigating the need for a second car. I fully intend to do the same through the winter. I have done the research, I'm getting my gear in order, and I am excited about it.

My wife says the winding road that covers over half the distance from our house to the shop is where I will meet my doom. She says that when the snow piles up, that road gets too narrow between the snowbanks. She says eventually I will get caught between two cars traveling opposite directions and one of them will lose control and annihilate me.

I have gained wisdom not to argue with my wife. Actually, as I said earlier, I am going to ride throughout the winter regardless of what she says. I have a good bike with studded snow tires. I have plenty of cold weather clothing. I have reflectors and lights, helmet and bike mounted.

What else can I do to ease her fears? Should I demonstrate how adeptly I can leap off my bike and dive to safety even if some idiot STILL doesn't notice my blinking flashing light display?

Anyone share their experience?

LittleBigMan

That, my friend, is worth $1,000,000.

If you must disobey your wife, at least don't argue about it. (Make sure you love her real good for every mile you disobey her. )

Still, learn to avoid problems on your ride. She doesn't want anything to happen to you.

Remember, she is only thinking of herself.... j/k

Honestly, if your wife is not a cyclist, she will think cycling on the road is dangerous, especially during bad weather. Don't argue about it, just use common sense. If you ride safely, she will see over the years that you havent' been hurt. That's the only thing that will give her peace. You just can't talk her out of her fears, you have to demonstrate that she has nothing to fear, and that will take time.

I_bRAD

Just tell her one of you will get to say "I told you so" at the end of the winter.

dirtylaundry

punch her

idcruiserman

Get some term life insurance.

JohnBrooking

Are your schedules similar enough that you could both ride together in her car if you had to?

You'll probably find that the road conditions vary with recent weather, and it would probably ease her mind if, on particularly questionable days, you consented to have her give you a ride in the car. Even if you feel you could do it, compromise a little, at least until she feels more at ease. Maybe after a few weeks or months she will.

If you've never gone through the winter before, I would caution against assuming anything about what it will be like until you've tried it, and don't push yourself to do too much too soon.

My biggest concern from your description would be if the roads are narrow with high snowbanks, which equals poor visibility. Particularly if they are hilly or curvy, that sounds dangerous no matter how good a bike driver you are. The best way to not get caught between cars is to be far enough out in the lane to prevent the temptation for close passes, and it also improves your visibility.

Definitely wear something bright, preferable flourescent. If you'll also be in the dark, good lights and extra reflective material. Hopefully, the more you show her how careful, thoughtful, and defensive you are being about it, the better she'll feel.

Good luck, and ride safe!

zonatandem

A collision with car/truck is not a pleasant experience . . . snow or no snow
Been hit (in broad daylight, no snow/rain) twice by a pickup and once by car.
Each time drivers were ticketed; one had license suspended for 90 days, and one had license revoked (he was driving on a provisional/limited use license).
The pickup hits were from the rear at +/- 45 mph, the car hit was by as teen with brand new license, who ran stop sign as we legally were turning in front of him.
Yes have bicycled in snow; can be messy and if icy damnn slippery.
"Leap off the bike and dive for safety" . . .
Suggest you have wife join you on of of your snowy rides . . . then 'leap and dive for safey' right in front of her, see what she says.

tjspiel

I ride all year long. There's often snow and/or ice on the roads from December through most of March, but most days the roads are decent enough.

I agree with John. Bike on the better winter days and ride with her on the bad ones.

Have her ride your bike on a snowy/icy trail or quiet road so she understands that you won't fall over if you're riding cautiously.

However, you can't control the motorists and in bad visibility they may not see you until it's too late to react. Based on your description she may have some legit concerns.

FWIW, I did once jump in the ditch to avoid one of those articulating buses that was sliding towards me sideways. It missed. I was standing though and not riding.

buzzman

Oddly enough I am now facing the opposite concern.

I've commuted by bike in rain, snow, sleet, hail, dark of night and everything in between since I met my wife 24 years ago so she's been used to it.

But in the last few years she has amped up her bike commuting and has become pretty consistent and pretty hard core. Now she's asking me for studded snow tires for her bike, too!

Suddenly I'm on the other side of the coin. I know how your wife feels- and understanding how she feels will go a long way towards calming the dialogue down a bit. My suggestion is to equip yourself in such a way that you are fully prepared for safe winter commuting- studded tires, excellent lighting system, warm bright colored clothing etc. But ease into it. I wouldn't suggest heading off into the first big blizzard of the year. Maybe just give it a try when it's really cold- there will be possible ice spots on the road- and see how that is both for her and you.

And if she's really freaked about it ride in the car with her without guilt tripping her about how she's ruined all your fun and see if you can find your way into riding when she, and the weather, is a little more accomodating.

As for me, I'll buy my wife the studded tires and commute in with her as much as possible until I feel secure about how she's handling it. But really it's her decision, just like it is mine, and knowing that someone cares about what happens to you can make you more vigilant than you might be otherwise, which isn't too bad a thing.

slvoid

Make this part of your morning routine.

"Woman, I'm riding to work!"

CliftonGK1

I rode to work a couple days last year when the power was out and I ended up doing facilities engineering work (not my department to keep the generators running, but they power my incubators so I helped out.)
I got comped 2 days PTO for it and took the girl away on a long weekend with the spare time. She hasn't complained about my riding in during the most awful of storms any more.

Cody Broken

Wow. Thanks for all the replies. I guess I didn't make it clear, I never intended to ride to and from the shop daily. My wife and I work together at our shop, so mostly we drive together. We do have children, though.

Our shop is open 10AM to 5:30PM, and sometimes it's nice for my wife to drive our daughters home from school. I like to ride home so she doesn't have to waste time and gas driving back to get me. Sometimes I stay home a few hours to get work done and then ride to the shop. My riding a bike adds a little more flexibility to our family schedule.

LittleBigMan, JohnBrooking, tjspiel, buzzman, zonatandem - I appreciate your perspective and advice. I will not ride in blizzards, or when I can see terror in my wife's eyes at the mention of my riding. I wear a reflective fluorescent yellow vest like in JohnBrooking's avatar. I have reflector tape all over my helmet and bike. I have rear blinkies, couple of led flashlights strapped to my helmet, and thanks to the Electronics forum I DIY'd a handlebar mount headlight with my cordless drill batteries and a $10 Home Depot 20W MR16 halogen garden spot light. I am so ready, but I am not going to take undo risks.

slowjoe66

To help mitigate the concerns, I have an ample life insurance policy (obviously with the wife as the beneficiary), and a temporary disability policy to give me income for up to two years if I am hurt (hit by a car but not killed, pushed into a ditch etc). Therefore I say "I'll be fine", but just in case I'm not, you will be taken care of.

I am as safe as the next guy, but when God decides it's your day to die, you can't delay him; bike or no bike.

Mr. Underbridge

4 miles? Snow? Take up running.

For what it's worth, she may have a point about the plowed roads - I haven't dealt with that yet either, and that may be where I wave the white flag. Haven't decided yet.

Dunno if you have them, but I might be tempted to ride slow on untreated sidewalks, which (given snow tires) should be easier than dealing with black ice and the like on road.

littlewaywelt

+1
Get a nice big fat policy for her, and explain the most important reasons you want to ride. Acknowledge her concerns and show her how you meet them. That's the best you can do. A properly outfitted bike (sounds like you are) should stack the overwhelming odds in your favor. Many ppl report state there's a stat that it's safer to ride than drive, but I never saw the reasoning or quality behind it.

If she says no, or that it still bothers her, that is an entirely different problem for a different forum.

joelpalmer

+1 - There's a poster in the Hopkins School of Public Health (well, a lot of them actually with different sayings) that says "Proof, not argument" and I think that's the best here. Especially since you're not looking to ride all of the time just do it. After a few trips in the bad weather hopefully she'll feel more comfortable.

ItsJustMe

Go for a really, really intense rear light. I use an All Electronics amber strobe, but my roads are mostly straight and we don't get enough snow that the banks are normally over the level of my lights.

If I were riding down narrow winding roads in the snow, I'd probably consider going with a Nova Bull. I think they're overkill for me, but for you, maybe not.

Yeah, I know, Rule 37: there is no overkill, there is only "open fire" and "I need to reload". But the Bull really is so bright it might actually be overly distracting in situations where it's not needed. I'd have it on a switch. I turn my strobe off when I'm way out in the country and there aren't many cars, and people can see me for 2 miles before they get to me. I switch it back on when I'm nearing areas with blind curves, or if I'm in fog or rain.

PerhamBiker

Do you not live in a place where they push the banks back? After every snowstorm we get here in Northern Maine our plows push the banks back on every road as far back as they can reach safely. Of course the first time they do this is the most important because it will freeze into a solid ice and not move until Spring.

With that in mind I think I could ride into work some days this Winter when the road is bare and dry. Those are the conditions I don't think most wives would mind. They may not like the darkness either.

I don't think it is a good idea to be bossy or rude about it, but to say that this is something you really want to do as often as is plausible, without being reckless, for the sake of your health and for the convenience for your wife and children. With the expense of gas right now there really is no downside to commuting whenever we can safely do it. You can certainly assure you wife that you're not crazy about getting into an accident either, but that doesn't mean you can't get out this Winter. You appreciate her concern and you'll strongly consider it on the days when it would be obviously dangerous.

2manybikes

She could be right, who knows?

Also, if you try and ride in frozen rutted ice and snow right next to traffic. When the refrozen slush becomes solid ice you could easily get tossed 5 feet to the side instantly by a rut that goes almost the same direction as you, but not quite. It can be even worse with a few inches of powder on top. The snow can reduce the grip of the studs on ice and hide the ruts from view.

The conditions vary so much that you may never experience this in your life, or it may be that way tomorrow. Every day can be different. Practice rutted ice and snow in a parking lot or a MUP. If it's really rutted and frozen all over the road......walk or drive.

Every day, the conditions can be so different it's almost a new thing.

thdave

Ride.

After the first ride in the snow, your wife will soften her stance a bit. She'll get more and more comfortable with it as you continue riding.

My wife let's me do what I want when it comes to this. She knows I love it and that's the bottom line.

Katzenjammer

I think if you're going to do it despite your spouse's very reasonable fears, you should get much better lighting than you've described. Something more like a version of Jeff-o's "blinkie" (described in this forum last year) for both back AND front, plus at least 1000 lumens of headlight. I'm an ex-pat Minnesotan, if that tells you anything, and if you're riding on curvy road piled high with snow on each side, you want major flashing amber lights that'll bounce off the snow walls ahead and behind so that anyone around the curve from you will think you're a snowplow and get real cautious.

ralph12

Tell her you'll be careful. I've ridden in the snow without ever encountering a problem. I have fat-tired mountain bike, but I doubt even on a road bike it'd be that hard.

Brian T

Why not have your wife follow you and see that its really not that bad. This could backfire.

Coyote!

'Broken shared. . .

>>> we went from a 4 car to a 1 car household.

Outstanding and well done!

>>> distance from our house to the shop is where I will meet my doom

For your ears, not hers. . .there are worse ways to check out of the hotel my friend.

>>> I have gained wisdom not to argue with my wife

To the extent you don't suffer from self-deception here, you're a Wise Coyote indeed. No coyote ever won an argument with Ms. Coyote. Caveat: Many have claimed wisdom as they sashayed into one of life's chainsaws. . .eyes-wide-shut. Jes' sayin' be careful here.

Then he asked. . .

>>> What else can I do to ease her fears?

Simple in concept: tough in execution. It all [as in all the time, in all ages, among all folks] comes down to WIIFM. . .What's In It For Me. Here's where the wisdom comes in to play again. What does she get out of it that overcomes her [gotta' say it] realistic if remote concerns. Only you can answer the WIIFM.

CastIron

Just get out there and do it. Before long she'll realize the sky isn't falling. Just do it smartly.