I've been riding for many many years, and I commute 10 miles each way to work on my 1984 Trek 520. My work group is relatively small (about 20 people in my section) so it would be impossible to miss the fact that I'm a cyclist. My coworkers know that it takes a lot to keep this old boy off of the bike.
This morning, a female coworker called me over to her desk to ask me a question. It seems that last night, she and three other ladies from our office went to try out a spinning class at a local gym. But there was a problem.
She leaned closer... and lowered her voice as she whispered, "Is it supposed to feel that way when you start riding a bike?"
"Well, your butt has to get saddle ready. So yeah, your behind will be sore at first," I answered.
"No... you don't understand. My... errr... my 'monkey' hurts. It feels like it's on fire!"
I stood there stunned at first... What does a guy say to a girl with an angry monkey making it difficult for her to walk? After a few seconds, I recovered enough to explain about sit bones and seat adjustments... but she soon stopped me.
"Wait just a second," she said. Then she phoned the other three who had gone spinning with her. Watching each of them hobbling up the hallway, I knew exactly what the problem was! They ALL had searing, burning pain in the nether regions.
It was quite a surreal scene... I was surrounded by four pretty women while I carefully explained to them why their vaginas hurt so badly! After questioning them... I found out that the stationary bikes that they used at the class were adjusted very poorly, and their soft tissues took a beating.
As we broke up the impromptu gynecological analysis, one of them said to me, "You're our girlfriend now... and girlfriends have to keep their secrets. Right?"
"I wouldn't tell a soul."