lshobo

1) Everyone and their mother is a time-trialist.
2) Roadies in kit are such super lightweight phenoms, that normal brakes can no longer contain their speed. Therefore, it is imperative that they blow through stop signs.
3) To the fixed gear cyclist, the world is their velodrome, and we're all just speedbumps along the way.
4) Thank you, Miss, for passing me up aggressively. As you gave me "the look" in your ultra-cool shades, I could not help but notice the top of your panties hanging out. While on your rear wheel, I realized...hey, the view from 2nd place is alright with me!

/bitter rant

girljen

LOL @ #4.

I'd continue your rant, but I'm not really one to talk today, as I got (very politely) passed up by a lady on a Wal-Mart mountain bike on the way to work today. pwnd.

ilmooz

Encountering situation #4 always alters my pace.

d2create

And I'm sure the roadie, fixie, and ms panty all have a few thoughts about the commuter they pass.

Enthusiast

I think New Orleans has a different demographic...my observations of fellow bicyclists:
1. You must ride against traffic, on the sidewalk or shoulder if possible. Not doing so is illegal.
2. Trek, Giant, and Specialized are unknown niche builders.
3. Bikes do not require maintenance, nor may they exceed 10mph.
4. Those TdF bikes are set up wrong, drop bars need to be rotated up 90 deg.
5. Wheels do not go out of true, they "get a wop in it".
6. Most people only ride bikes because of poverty or legal trouble. And they aren't happy about it.

PunkMartyr

1. Yes I am going to the liquor store. Yes this is the only shirt and pants I own. My bike only has 2 gears speed-of-smell and just-stole-it
2. Yeah I have a milk crate roped to my bike, so what? I really would ride with my balls out if I didn't get arrested last time I tried it
3. HughHughHugh*breathing-pedaling-hard* I'd like to say "hi" but i've got my ipod buds in my sunglasses on and my backpack with my books / change of clothes blasting away SEEEEE YAAA
4. WRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR *Me: "WTF IS THAT IS IT A BIRD IS IT A PLANE ?" *WOOSH* (Dude passes me doing 30 uphill next to a police station) "Its a go cart!.. no wait thats a bicycle with an engine.."


And yeah thats almost every rider I've ever seen here.

Mr. Underbridge

Here's a question I have about the folks out there wobbling up hills on an X-mart bike: you do realize that thing has gears for a reason, right? And that they make going uphill a sh*tload easier?

chipcom 

But the last time I tried using those things when climbing a hill, my chain fell off!

savethekudzu

Silly Mr. Underbridge.
The high gears are the fast gears, so if they want to go fast, they use the fast gears.

mtnwalker

Its funny because its true. I've seen too many X-mart bike riders who will not gear up to go up hills and overpasses. I actually witnessed one person get off the bike to walk up the overpass. I looked and his chain was on the smallest rear cog. I thought about telling them to gear up but I have the ability to come across wrong to most people.

46x16

Now I must stick up for my fellow fixed riders. We're kinda stuck cruising around faster than normal.

Now, given alot (if not most) fixed riders are sometimes idiots and just "hipsters" there are sensible people out there that enjoy the single speed ride!
I commute on mine everyday and have been for the past 2 years.

But, there aren't many other commuters here.

chipcom 

Make up your mind...do you ride fixed or singlespeed...or are you one of those confused folks with a flip-flop hub. (like me)

Jeffbeerman2

the shifters and dérailleurs on x-mart bikes don't work. those riders are lucky when the bike stays in any gear, and they leave it there.

ATAC49er

More observations:
1. Pedaling fast is more work than grinding a too-large gear.
2. As long as the wheels still spin, they're not wobbly.
3. You MUST be able to put both feet flat on the ground at a corner...and you must be in the handicapped ramp of the sidewalk.
4. You must do whatever is necessary to get the handlebars as high as possible, so you don't lean forward when you pedal at 6mph.
5. One inch insertion of threaded stem or seatpost is plenty.
6. Only racer boys spend $100 on a bike.
7. When the front brake quits working, you MUST remove it from the bike.
8. If the tire goes flat, no matter how old it is, you have to take the bike back where you bought it. Raise enough h*ll, and you'll get a refund.
9. Don't you DARE wear a helmet!!!!!

mtnwalker

I saw the weirdest thing last week.

A lady on a mtb, in the bike lane, dismounts her bike when we hit a red light. I mean she throws her leg over the seat and stands next to her bike until the light turns green.

mrbrown

In my country:

1) It is possible to ride a beat-up bike with barely working brakes...
2) While balancing bags of groceries on each handlebar...
3) While having a mobile phone conversation...
4) While riding AGAINST the flow of traffic.

Other crazy sights I've seen, one grown man riding a BMX, while his friend sat on his handlebar facing the back, and hugging him. It is a disconcerting to be riding behind a bike like this, to see a man's face staring back at you from over the rider's shoulders...


And yes, our roadies here like to dust commuters too. Though occasionally, they meet one who overtakes them back... on a foldie (not me, a superfit lifeguard friend of mine hahaha!).

CliftonGK1

I'm sure yesterday's ride home was a funny sight for the drivers in the backed up line of traffic next to me and one of the LBS guys out on his training ride. He caught me 3/4 of the way up Novelty Hill. Me riding my Cross-Check with racks on front and back, lights, h'bar bag, etc. Him on his Cervelo, in full kit, taking a quick breather to say hi as he hammered past me.
All I could think of was Joe blasting by Yehuda on the way to the Kickstand.

st0ut

I remeber something like that from an elementry school bike safety rodeo.
Stop dismount walk across via the cross walk and then resume riding. I thought this was odd because the town i grew up in at the time didnt have ANY stop light and no crosswalks.

drizek

Why not give her the benefit of the doubt and just assume that her legs were tired and she needed a stretch?

Also, I used to have to walk my old xmart bike up hill because it wouldn't shift out of second gear. The fact that it weighed about 40 pounds didn't help either.

thirdin77

Great thread. I especially liked #5. Mine aren't as funny, but...

1. you should ride a bike only on the sidewalk, but you need a mountain bike because sometimes there's a crack in the pavement. I've seen guys ride their bikes in the street but that's illegal. Only cars can go on the street.
2. those guys on the expensive bikes are stupid to pay so much for their bikes. I mean, really, it's just a bike. If I had a car, though, I'd get that $2000 set of 22" chromed wheels that spin even when I'm at a stop and then I'd get some respect.
3. I once had a guy on an expensive bike tell me that my seat is too low and that my knees shouldn't be pointing outwards when I ride. Like it matters. (winces in pain) Damn, my kneecaps hurt.. I guess I'm just getting old.
4. it's normal when the chain makes that high-pitched squeaking sound- mine didn't when it was new but after a week or so it did so I guess it's just broken in now. Kinda like that new car smell that goes away after a while. I usually don't hear racing bikes make those sounds but I guess that expensive bikes just don't make that noise. Once some guy on an expensive bike told me there's something I should do to my chain. WTF is his problem? I guess he was just trying to act like he was better than me because he has an expensive bike.
5. I've seen people ride around at night with lights on their bikes- what's the point? I don't have a light but I don't ride at night because when you do, people can't see you and that's dangerous.

Kabir424

Hahahah. It is way too late to be laughing that hard. I will have to tell my BMX friend about that one.

Torchy McFlux

Aquajag

This thread is great! Especially after today's commute with pedestrians that cross streets at random. Even if they're in the crosswalk, the light is red and there probably is traffic headed towards them.

Hmm, makes me want to start a pedestrians thread like this one.

ac220v

LOL, yes... Bunch of teenagers yelled "Hey, FLASHLIGHTS!" at me yesterday as if I was riding in clown suit.

And yes, there are two kind of cheap bikes, real singlespeeds and ones with faux shifters.

Guilty as charged, back problems Well, at 10-12 mph...

I-Like-To-Bike

Excellent Troll!!

Really brought the Smugsters to the surface spouting cutsie contempt for cyclists less Righteous/Serious than themselves.