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  1. #1
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    Wal Mart is Evil so I took off my clothes

    So I generally choose not to patronize walmart for several moral reasons...but today I was in desperate need of some CD-Rs so I could mail a file to my university and the only place anywhere near me that sells them is Wally world. So I grudgingly got on my bike and made the 4 mile ride on some pretty dangerous roads only to find that they have no form of bike rack whatsoever. That's typical for this area so I've become used to just taking my bike into stores...in fact I usually use the basket on the back as a shopping cart.

    So I walk into the walmart and the most evil grandmother I've ever met grabs my arm with her claws and says I can't bring it into the store. I explained to here there was nowhere outside to lock it up and that I had brought it into that particular store with no problem. She insisted that I had to leave it in the foyer and I calmly said that I wasn't going to leave a 600 dollar bike just sitting in the foyer and that I'd like to speak to her manager.

    So the manager comes out and says I can't bring the bike into the store, so I explain to her that there are safe places for people who drive to lock their cars but there is no safe place for me to lock my mode of transportation. She says that I should have driven there I told her that I didn't own a car and that my bike was my only form of transportation and I couldn't risk having it stolen. She said I couldn't bring it in because they sell bikes in the store. So I said but those bikes don't look anything like this and this is clearly not a brand new bike, so why is that a problem. She insisted that for the safety of the other customers I couldn't bring it inside, so I asked her why she thought a bike controlled by an adult was more dangerous than a shopping cart being pushed around by someone's bratty kids. So she switched back to the excuse that they sell bikes in the store so I couldn't bring another bicycle in. I was starting to get really frustrated since I had ridden all the way there seemingly for no reason, so I asked her if they also sold shirts in the store. She said yes so I took off my jersey and said well then I'd better not bring this in either. She got kind of flustered and said that it was a different situation but couldn't explain why. So I said that if they also sold shorts in the store that I'd better not wear those in either and I took off my shorts. Same goes for the shoes and sunglasses. Now I'm standing there in my spandex and a sports bra and I ask here if I can leave my things behind the customer service counter where they will be safe until I finish making my purchases and she said that I couldn't come into the store without shoes on, to which i responded "but I certainly can't wear shoes into the store because you sell those here and someone might think I've stolen them." She threatened to call security if I didn't leave so I told her that I would never be coming back to that store again and that I was glad I hadn't driven there since the gas to go four miles was probably more expensive than what her underpaid employees make in an hour.

    Her expression when the shirt came off was absolutely priceless...I was pretty tempted to take off the spandex too but I wasn't sure what constitutes indecent exposure in Virginia so I figured I'd err on the side of caution. Still I had a decent sized crowd gathered before the end of the discussion. Anybody else have issues with Satan's superstore?
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  2. #2
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    you must be a glutton for punishment if you thought bringing logic into your walmart argument was going to work.

  3. #3
    Semantic Gynmast
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    That is an absolutely phenomenal story! You rock.

  4. #4
    uke
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    it's easy if you let it. uke's Avatar
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    Wow. Personally, I'd have tried to see if I could have had someone watch over it in the foyer. That, or ridden away.

    JesseDuncan:I just love how "cars will be forced to cross the double yellow lines on dangerous limited visibility roads".

    I don't want to have a head on but oh god, I HAVE to fling myself into oncoming traffic to pass, theres no alternative!!!

  5. #5
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    Reach. I love your spunk. You are my Bike Forum idol. Glad you kept your cool and did not get arrested. .Its not worth that. Its to America's shame, last I knew one in every seven consumer dollars passes thru WalMart. / To expect Wal Mart to be bike friendly. that is way too optimistic to think to be possible.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  6. #6
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    yea I forgot that I was arguing with people who drive to a job that makes $5.75 an hour when gas costs $4.22 a gallon. Logic clearly isn't these people's strong suit.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  7. #7
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    Pics or it didnt happen?

  8. #8
    L T X B O M P F A N S R apricissimus's Avatar
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    Yeah, better to keep the lycra on. People have been labeled as sex offenders simply for urinating in
    public (indecent exposure). You do NOT want to wind up on that kind of list!

    (And no I'm not speaking from experience!)

  9. #9
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Shinyville View Post
    That is an absolutely phenomenal story! You rock.
    I would have loved to have have seen this, even if posting this on the internet will make me look like a pervert to some.

    Many years ago I was in a family owned hardware store. I was about 18 at the time and needed some tool to work on my car, and I wasn't quite sure what i needed. The owner told me to take whatever I was looking at home and see if it would work for me. I thought he was kidding, and then he told me I could leave my pants behind for a security deposit. After I got done being flustered he told me he was kidding about leaving my pants, but to go ahead and take the tool home. I bought a lot of stuff from them after that - and never had to leave my pants behind either.

  10. #10
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    if only I could get a copy of that security tape...I'm sure some security guard in the back was having himself a pretty good laugh...especially since he couldn't hear my reasoning...
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  11. #11
    Senior Member cyclezealot's Avatar
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    The lesson here. something I believe in. Try to buy small and local when ever possible. Normally , you are treated as a person and service can't compare when the owner apprecaites one's business.
    Pray for the Dead and Fight like Hell for the Living






    ^ Since January 1, 2012

  12. #12
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    LOL, great story! Personally, I would have flipped if I was grabbed on the arm...NO ONE touches me except my fiance' or a law officer. I would have ripped my arm away and screamed "DON"T <explitive> TOUCH ME". I've done that once in the past and the rent-a-cop jumped 5 feet in the air and nearly wet himself. I ALWAYS bring my bike into stores and I have never been hasstled. One person DID try to stop me at the Walmart once (I too despise Walmart but I also have to go there on occasion) but I just ignored the person and kept walking like I owned the place; that's always worked for me.
    As for selling your bike at the store...give me a break. Like Walmart sells quality bikes. The only "name brand" bike they sell are Schwins, but I'm not sure their craptastic method of putting them together even qualifies it as a street legal bike in the first place. You aught to have told them "Don't worry, no one will mistake your **** bikes for my LBS bike" ;-)

    -TPM

  13. #13
    All Bikes All The Time Sawtooth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ReachHigher View Post
    yea I forgot that I was arguing with people who drive to a job that makes $5.75 an hour when gas costs $4.22 a gallon. Logic clearly isn't these people's strong suit.
    Nice Story, made me laugh.

    Personally, I have hauled my bike around my local Walmart with no problem. I have also left it hidden in the foyer under the care of a nice older person. Usually, the older person working in the foyer is more than willing to accomodate if treated with respect and dignity; which I try to give to everyone, wether or not they work at walmart.

    Logic, however, is never going to work with someone defending a policy they know nothing about and who is likely a concrete thinker in the first place.

  14. #14
    Cycle Dallas MMACH 5's Avatar
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    Great story.

    I had just the opposite reaction at a local Wal-Mart, yet for the exact same reason...

    Me: "Hi, I don't have a lock, can I bring my bike with me?"
    Greeter: "We sell bikes here. Heck, kids tear around the store on the ones for sale, without buying them. I don't see a problem."
    =)
    That's gonna leave a mark.

  15. #15
    me ride bike good
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    Nice work! I like your cunning use of logic and its deadly effect on their argument.

    There is only 1 thing that I buy at Walmart-motor oil (ironic, saying that on a bike forum), but it is because they have Mobil 1 -synthetic oil, which I use in my cars, mower, equipment, etc, CHEAP.

    I go once a year and stock up.

    Usually, I will go there one other time per year if every other place does not have what I am looking for, and I don't get past 1/2 way into the store before I am fit to be tied, and turn around and leave.

    The problem is not with These stores, but rather with the fact that so many people frequent them.

  16. #16
    All Bikes All The Time Sawtooth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thepurplem0nkey View Post
    One person DID try to stop me at the Walmart once ....... but I just ignored the person and kept walking like I owned the place; that's always worked for me.
    -TPM
    Hmmmm, interesting......that puts the person in the position of having to decide whether or not to escalate the issue.

    I can see many situations wherein that would work......and many where it would not. For instance, if the person was sent by his/her boss, they are at least going to report that you defied their authority. Then the manager has to decide whether or not to escalate. Either way, I like the approach.

    I suppose you could also start muttering. Muttering to oneself is a wonderful way to get people to give you space

  17. #17
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    Thank you. Please don't go to a WM again - ANYBODY!

  18. #18
    All Bikes All The Time Sawtooth's Avatar
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    If I made less than $6/hr, there is no way I would voluntarily make an issue of ANYTHING. I would just lay low, do the bare minimum and waite for my shift to be over so that I could get my butt to school.

    Granted, some folks just don't have the same options in life that others do; and that is tragic.

  19. #19
    Neat - w/ ice on the side dalmore's Avatar
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    LMAO!

    That security video should hit the internet soon ...
    Current favorite bumper sticker: Wag more. Bark less.

    Change you can believe in - Bigfoot Nessie 08

  20. #20
    Senior Member EatMyA**'s Avatar
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    he he. Classic. I love it!

  21. #21
    An Army of Fred harleyfrog's Avatar
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    You rock!
    Owner/operator of Fredkenstein™ I
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    You know all that money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense each year, trillions of dollars, correct? Instead -- just play with this -- if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world -- and it would pay for it many times over, not one human being excluded -- we can explore space together, both inner and outer, forever in peace. Thank you very much -- Bill Hicks

  22. #22
    Senior Member HuffyMan's Avatar
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    So I walk into the walmart and the most evil grandmother I've ever met grabs my arm with her claws and says I can't bring it into the store.

    Love that statement.
    At least she wasn't astride a hoveround or some other type of obese person conveyence then the race would be on!
    Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying "End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH," the paint wouldn't even have time to dry
    Terry Pratchett

  23. #23
    The Wheel is Turning The Figment's Avatar
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    Ride to Walmart on a hot Day.........A pain un the Arse,
    Arguing with a Human with no Common Sense......................Aggravating to all Hell
    Watching the look on some a Walmart Managers Face as a Pissed off Woman Bicyclist does a Strip in the store foyer......................PRICELESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  24. #24
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    Wish I had a sister like you!! Awesome!
    07' Redline Conquest Sport
    When man invented the bicycle he reached the peak of his attainments. Here was a machine of precision and balance for the convenience of man. And (unlike subsequent inventions for man's convenience) the more he used it, the fitter his body became. Here, for once, was a product of man's brain that was entirely beneficial to those who used it, and of no harm or irritation to others. Progress should have stopped when man invented the bicycle.~E. West

  25. #25
    Who farted? Ka_Jun's Avatar
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    *clapping*

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