You cr@pped your pants?
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You cr@pped your pants?
I realized I forgot my pants as I was getting ready to take a shower after my morning commute to the office. Ok, its 7am, Target opens at 8am, I can just stay in my cube, and, assuming no one comes to see me, I can sneak out without furrowing anyone’s brows, go to Target, buy some pants, finish getting ready, and be sitting in my desk, being productive, by 8;30 am. It was very important to me that no one became aware of my blunder. First of all, because the office is full of jokers, second of all, I just don’t want to deal with the attitude that maybe I would be better off if I just drove to work.
7:50 am, I am out the door and on my way to Target. I start thinking; maybe I should let someone know that I will be right back, if anyone does go to my cube and my bike and I are absent, it may cause a bigger stir. So I call one of the project managers at the office.
Me: “Jim, I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back.”
Jim: “Ummm, OK.”
Target kicks ass. I explained my situation to the manager and included the fact that I didn’t have a lock since I typically leave my bike in my cube. I asked her if I can bring my bike with me into the store. She said, in a very welcoming voice, “Of course, please come in.”
8:30am. Finished getting ready and was sitting at my desk working, thinking, “You sly dog, pulled it off without anyone bearing witness to your bare legs.”
Then, from behind “Did you cr@p your pants?” bellowed Jim.
“No, I simply forgot them. Why don’t you shut your trap and keep the cr@p from spewing out.” I countered. But it was too late, the damage was done.
From cube B, “What happened, did you have Mexican for dinner?”
Cube C, “Guess those cycling diapers you wear didn’t do their job.” (Ok, I made that last one up, but that’s what I would have said had I heard the conversation).
In any case, the damage was done, Jim executed his revenge. Revenge served to me because I was delinquent with the money I owed him for the Girl Scout cookies he was hocking at the office for his little girl. So let this be a lesson to you all, pay for those damn GS cookies.
Jim got my 8 bucks…. But it’s not over.
7:50 am, I am out the door and on my way to Target. I start thinking; maybe I should let someone know that I will be right back, if anyone does go to my cube and my bike and I are absent, it may cause a bigger stir. So I call one of the project managers at the office.
Me: “Jim, I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back.”
Jim: “Ummm, OK.”
Target kicks ass. I explained my situation to the manager and included the fact that I didn’t have a lock since I typically leave my bike in my cube. I asked her if I can bring my bike with me into the store. She said, in a very welcoming voice, “Of course, please come in.”
8:30am. Finished getting ready and was sitting at my desk working, thinking, “You sly dog, pulled it off without anyone bearing witness to your bare legs.”
Then, from behind “Did you cr@p your pants?” bellowed Jim.
“No, I simply forgot them. Why don’t you shut your trap and keep the cr@p from spewing out.” I countered. But it was too late, the damage was done.
From cube B, “What happened, did you have Mexican for dinner?”
Cube C, “Guess those cycling diapers you wear didn’t do their job.” (Ok, I made that last one up, but that’s what I would have said had I heard the conversation).
In any case, the damage was done, Jim executed his revenge. Revenge served to me because I was delinquent with the money I owed him for the Girl Scout cookies he was hocking at the office for his little girl. So let this be a lesson to you all, pay for those damn GS cookies.
Jim got my 8 bucks…. But it’s not over.
#2
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and on a serious note: why did you wait to pay the GS********** I'd rather owe the mafia or the feds (o wait, I do....they are printing money so maybe they won't notice )
#3
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Next time, call one of the other project managers and say, " I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants for Jim. He just cr@pped his pants and asked me to help him out. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back."
Problem solved.
Problem solved.
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Next time, call one of the other project managers and say, " I had to step out and go to Target, I need to buy a pair of pants for Jim. He just cr@pped his pants and asked me to help him out. If anyone comes lookin for me just tell them I will be right back."
Problem solved.
Problem solved.
thanks for the laugh and advice!
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everyone has at least one 12yr old in their office depending on the day...just reality.
OP, if it ever happens again just say you did crap you pants after you sat in his desk chair and noticed the tranny porn folder on his desktop. Should even you right out.
OP, if it ever happens again just say you did crap you pants after you sat in his desk chair and noticed the tranny porn folder on his desktop. Should even you right out.
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Here's a nasty little revenge. Get a screenshot of his desktop, set it as his desktop background, and then turn off his Icon Display.
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. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
. “He who fights with monsters might take care lest he thereby become a monster. And if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you.”- Fredrick Nietzsche
"We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." - Immanuel Kant
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1. If you are on time and doing your work, F-'em. Otherwise, your life is your own.
2. If I sprang for every strong-arm attempt by my colleagues, I wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle tube. F-'em.
3. If someone doesn't like my shorts, my answer is, "I wear 'em nice an' tight to make it more convenient in the event someone needs to KISS MY ASS!" Short answer: F-'em.
Am I popular around the office? F-'em.
2. If I sprang for every strong-arm attempt by my colleagues, I wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle tube. F-'em.
3. If someone doesn't like my shorts, my answer is, "I wear 'em nice an' tight to make it more convenient in the event someone needs to KISS MY ASS!" Short answer: F-'em.
Am I popular around the office? F-'em.
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That is cruel.
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Zero gallons to the mile
Zero gallons to the mile
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Freakin' magnificent!
I hounded our office rep for weeks with the line "I want my two boxes!" Figure I already rode a bike in.
I hounded our office rep for weeks with the line "I want my two boxes!" Figure I already rode a bike in.
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1. If you are on time and doing your work, F-'em. Otherwise, your life is your own.
2. If I sprang for every strong-arm attempt by my colleagues, I wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle tube. F-'em.
3. If someone doesn't like my shorts, my answer is, "I wear 'em nice an' tight to make it more convenient in the event someone needs to KISS MY ASS!" Short answer: F-'em.
Am I popular around the office? F-'em.
2. If I sprang for every strong-arm attempt by my colleagues, I wouldn't be able to afford a bicycle tube. F-'em.
3. If someone doesn't like my shorts, my answer is, "I wear 'em nice an' tight to make it more convenient in the event someone needs to KISS MY ASS!" Short answer: F-'em.
Am I popular around the office? F-'em.
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Why did you not just tell them that you have "an errand to run?"
I forgot my shirt once, and just wore my safety yellow jersey all day. No one said anything about it.
I forgot my shirt once, and just wore my safety yellow jersey all day. No one said anything about it.
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1. Always keep a spare pair of pants and a pair of underwear at work. Always. If you need to wash them, take them to a dry cleaner that is within WALKING distance from work, if possible.
2. How do you turn off Icon Display in Windows XP? I remember being able to do it in 98 and NT, but a quick scan of where I thought the setting would be turned up nothing?
2. How do you turn off Icon Display in Windows XP? I remember being able to do it in 98 and NT, but a quick scan of where I thought the setting would be turned up nothing?
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Back at the other building, back in the day when I had my office, back when I had more cabinetry than a furniture outlet, I would commute almost every day. I always had several sets of clothes with a couple pairs of shoes stashed in one or another cubby at work.
Now, I sit all out in the open, have exactly one itsy-bitsy little filing cabinet, and find myself vapor locked, unable to commute before working out all of the new logistics. I think I am experiencing a mental disorder
Now, I sit all out in the open, have exactly one itsy-bitsy little filing cabinet, and find myself vapor locked, unable to commute before working out all of the new logistics. I think I am experiencing a mental disorder
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1. Always keep a spare pair of pants and a pair of underwear at work. Always. If you need to wash them, take them to a dry cleaner that is within WALKING distance from work, if possible.
2. How do you turn off Icon Display in Windows XP? I remember being able to do it in 98 and NT, but a quick scan of where I thought the setting would be turned up nothing?
2. How do you turn off Icon Display in Windows XP? I remember being able to do it in 98 and NT, but a quick scan of where I thought the setting would be turned up nothing?
2. Point to Arrange Icons
3. Click on "Show Desktop Icons" which will remove the check mark.
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