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Okay, I smiled.

Old 08-10-09, 07:41 AM
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Okay, I smiled.

https://www.craigslist.org/about/best...256517109.html

Thank you, Walter

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Date: 2009-07-06, 5:30PM EDT

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Thank-you , dear Walter, for that excruciating burst of adrenaline that you provide for me on a daily basis. As i am nearing the completion of my ten mile bike ride, my energy is waning and my spirit is becoming weak. The urge to abandon my trek is overwhelming, when suddenly, you burst from the front porch, barking, snarling, panting, froth dripping from your flabby jowls, your fangs glinting in the sunlight. Your mistress, the old crone, stands on the porch in her faded housecoat, clapping her hands frantically, shrieking "Walter, Walter , bad boy....come back here!" to no avail. You are a disobedient old cur and continue your pursuit, eyeing my ample rear as if it were indeed a rump roast. Your mistress calls out reassuringly that Walter is completely harmless and he just wants to play. I remain unconvinced as he latches on to my seersucker capris with remarkable force. "Don't be afraid", she exhorts me. "he can smell fear" HAH! I am about to soil my new gel bike seat. Terror is oozing from my every pore. And there it is - that amazing influx of adrenaline that spurs me on my way! I ride like the wind!, I can ride anywhere!, I can climb mountains!, I can run a marathon! I give Walter a kick to the chops, while housecoat lady screams "Don't hurt my baby!" and I am outta there. However, at my age, I am becoming concerned about this daily dose of adrenaline and am becoming increasingly concerned about its' effect on my circulatory system. So, tomorrow, Walter, I am ready for you. I purchased some dog repellent spray. We will meet tomorrow. I'll be cruising by on my trusty old bike, and you will be rolling on the yard with your rheumy eyes smarting from the pepper spray. The container boasts of a twenty foot stream, so I may have a little squirt for you mistress as well. See ya tomorrow.


Location: Ottawa co.
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Old 08-10-09, 10:22 AM
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LOL

Hope he/she writes a followup.
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Old 08-10-09, 11:55 AM
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All I can think of is the sprint training scene from American Flyers...
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Old 08-10-09, 11:59 AM
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So Walter is a dog, right? At first I thought he was the old lady's husband.
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Old 08-10-09, 12:21 PM
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Old 08-10-09, 05:22 PM
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I LOL'd to Ka_Jun, great story, I can picture the whole event while reading it. Especially when the author talks about the woman. Does every town have someone like that.
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Old 08-10-09, 07:31 PM
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biking is kinda like baseball - it doesn't take much to make it interesting - (or to get your inspiration and adrenaline back)
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Old 08-10-09, 08:13 PM
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Hehehe, pretty good story.
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Old 08-10-09, 09:55 PM
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Well written. I'm picturing Walter as a little white poodle.
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Old 08-11-09, 08:13 AM
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Who farted?
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Originally Posted by exile
I LOL'd to Ka_Jun, great story, I can picture the whole event while reading it. Especially when the author talks about the woman. Does every town have someone like that.
Probably, wherever dogs & cyclists collide.
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Old 08-11-09, 11:34 AM
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Originally Posted by huie
Well written. I'm picturing Walter as a little white poodle.
I'm picturing him as the dog Eddie in American Flyers.

Last edited by jeffpoulin; 08-11-09 at 11:37 AM.
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