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  1. #1
    Icebike Junkie tdreyer1's Avatar
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    Your favorite phrases for throwing at drivers?

    I'm not a very vocal commuter, but there are definitely times I have thought it would probably have been a good thing had I been.

    So, what are your favorite phrases, curses, blessings, etc. for throwing the way of an errant driver/pedestrian?
    This is a masterwork comment. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of cat leather. It is adorned with hanging rings of platinum. It is studded with malachite. It menaces with spikes of adamantine.
    On it is an image of a dwarf and oysters. The dwarf is cringing. The oysters are laughing.

    My Road Bike: Felt F75
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  2. #2
    Team Water Andy_K's Avatar
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    I try not to throw things while riding. I messes with my balance.

  3. #3
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    Wave and say "THANK YOU", in every situation.

    If someone did something nice, it is a compliment. If they're being a jerk, it is saccharine sarcasm.

    I'll also yell "HEY HEY HEY" if I need to get someone's attention and the bell isn't working. Usually a clueless ped strolling into the bike lane without looking.

  4. #4
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    The other day I asked a driver if she would mind waiting until she got home before checking her email.
    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  5. #5
    www.chipsea.blogspot.com ChipSeal's Avatar
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    If your trip were so important, we would have given you a red light and a siren.
    Vehicular cycling techniques have not been tried and found difficult. They have been presumed difficult and not tried.

  6. #6
    DoB
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    I almost never respond to the rare motorist encounters I have, but when pressed I have leaned on the catchy phrase "F**K OFF C**T!"

    Now, that might seem extreme as a response to someone who told me to "Get on the sidewalk" but I was mostly responding to the previous 3/4 mile in which she leisurely followed me at 20 mph, ignoring the constant ease of passing on a one-way two lane road and simply laid on her horn.

    After a few solid minutes of her horn blowing she earned it....even with her two kids in the car with her.

  7. #7
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    a very similar thread recently came up - What are your best one-liner come-backs?

  8. #8
    darling no baka landstander's Avatar
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    "I see the morons are in bloom..."
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  9. #9
    RacingBear UmneyDurak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by caloso View Post
    The other day I asked a driver if she would mind waiting until she got home before checking her email.
    I see hills.... Bring them on!!!
    Stay calm and bring a towel.

  10. #10
    Bicycle n00B
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    One of my favorite responses to a common epithet is, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm not homosexual."

    I reserve the right to be wrong at any time. :D

    Man does not live by bread alone, that's why God made ice cream.

  11. #11
    Senior Member cyclefreaksix's Avatar
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    I've started yelling," JESUS LOVES YOU!!!" while flashing the peace sign. No one messes with a 250lb religious nut on a bike for very long.

  12. #12
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eshvanu View Post
    One of my favorite responses to a common epithet is, "Thank you for the offer, but I'm not homosexual."



    Mostly I yell stuff like "**** you / **** off," "Eat ****" "stupid *****/*******." My favourite is probably "Stupid ****ing piece of ****."

  13. #13
    Bikus Commuterus CFXMarauder's Avatar
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    After reading the "One liner " thread I had every intention of using the Jesus Loves You line sadly on Sat the 19th the whole plan went out the window..Got my first "You need to get your ass on the the sidewalk" from a gent leaning wayyyyyy out the passenger car window...I thought he was trying to hit me..My natural reaction to to fly the bird and a good loud F*$(# You !! Car pulled over at he first side street and a quite large man stepped out..He stayed at the back of the car yelling something bout the side walk and I yelled as I went by "Go read the Florida bike laws Arsehole !!" Then he chased me on foot...My mouth now has me on edge waiting to run into him again..

    Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You Jesus Loves You ...Gotta remember it..

  14. #14
    Mrs. DataJunkie Luddite's Avatar
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    ^ Holy ****. Guy sounds like a total ****ing ******. I HATE people like that. What the hell makes that knuckle-dragger thinks he has the right to lean out the window of a Cage, yell crap at people and then behave violently when people say something back at him?! ****ing stupid ****!

  15. #15
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    I don't usually respond to aggression or incoherent yelling. But occasionally a driver will try to engage me in such a way that a response from me is necessary to effeciently end the interaction:

    In Ohio I used: "Have you accepted the lord Jesus Christ as your personal savior?"

    Now I live in Texas, and the above phrase could easily lead to an hour long conversation, so I've said the last two times I needed a response: "But I don't smoke!"

    In either case, my goal is to convince the driver that they have made the mistake of engaging a crazy person. I take the same approach with Jury duty.

  16. #16
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    I throw down one of these:


    ..as in sarcastically.
    No idea why but it is a better alternative than my usual middle finger. Tends to confuse more than anything.

  17. #17
    Senior Member dauphin's Avatar
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    double dumb ass on you!


  18. #18
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    Thank you!

  19. #19
    Senior Member cyclefreaksix's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CFXMarauder View Post
    After reading the "One liner " thread I had every intention of using the Jesus Loves You line sadly on Sat the 19th the whole plan went out the window..Got my first "You need to get your ass on the the sidewalk" from a gent leaning wayyyyyy out the passenger car window...I thought he was trying to hit me..My natural reaction to to fly the bird and a good loud F*$(# You !! Car pulled over at he first side street and a quite large man stepped out..He stayed at the back of the car yelling something bout the side walk and I yelled as I went by "Go read the Florida bike laws Arsehole !!" Then he chased me on foot...My mouth now has me on edge waiting to run into him again..
    Well for those kinda people, I've got a can of mace and a 36inch tactical baton within easy reach. Jesus loves you MFer, but I sure as hell don't.

  20. #20
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    Actually, you stumbled through a scene from MIB III, and that was a pitbull in a man suit leaning out the window. Two words: stun gun.

    Lud, you sound like a woman after my own heart, I think I'm falling for you....xoxox....j/k, don't get out the PPO.

  21. #21
    "Per Ardua ad Surly" nelson249's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cyclefreaksix View Post
    Jesus loves you MFer, but I sure as hell don't.
    I like that one!
    1997 Mongoose Hilltopper, 1988 Bianchi Specialissima, 2006 Surly Cross-Check, 2010 Norco City Glide, 1947 CCM Single-speed.

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  22. #22
    Mad bike riding scientist cyccommute's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tdreyer1 View Post
    I'm not a very vocal commuter, but there are definitely times I have thought it would probably have been a good thing had I been.

    So, what are your favorite phrases, curses, blessings, etc. for throwing the way of an errant driver/pedestrian?
    An act that would get you arrested in several southern states
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  23. #23
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    Neither am I. That is the reason for hand signals or at most "Hey! What the hell are you doing!"

  24. #24
    Senior Member AltheCyclist's Avatar
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    Flashing this usually ends the conversation...

  25. #25
    Cycle Dallas MMACH 5's Avatar
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    A couple of times when the drivers have ended up face to face with me, I've said, "Learn the law and then go **** yourself." (Say it in a calm manner, without yelling and it really seems to get under their skin.)
    That's gonna leave a mark.

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