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  1. #1
    Numb Member asphalt junkie's Avatar
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    I'm onto you. Admit this is a hoax.

    Last night -- as I pedaled home in near zero temps, light batteries fading front and back, climbing a long hill I call "the grind," sucking air through an iced-over mask, nose, toes, fingers and genitals freezing, knobby tires resisting every stroke, road crap flying in my face despite my fenders, cars buzzing by as always, and knowing this is hardly the worst Mother Nature can dish out -- it occurred to me in an epiphany that this forum is an elaborate hoax. There were no bikers on the road but me, and why should there be? Nobody really commutes by bike in winter except a few unsuspecting and gullible souls who have fallen for the sinister joke. It's designed by some twisted individual or group to lure me into doing something entirely irrational, perilous and ridiculously stupid. I'm onto you. Admit this is a hoax.

  2. #2
    Senior Member ScottNotBombs's Avatar
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    I see lots of people in Chicago, but they keep the roads pretty clear.
    I'm just a kid who gets in trouble sometimes

  3. #3
    Older than dirt CCrew's Avatar
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    Not a hoax. All of us do it when we get our DUI's

  4. #4
    Senior Member coolio's Avatar
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    You may want to switch from lithium to abilify.

  5. #5
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    Well done. I found this post hilarious. If it is a hoax, I've fallen for it myself. Perhaps we can starts a movement (or whatever it was that Arlo sang about).

    I am in Longmont/Boulder and yesterday and this morning have made me question my sanity as well.

    Ride safe.

    Paul

  6. #6
    Very, very Senior Member JPprivate's Avatar
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    No, I'm doing it, too. And to add to your suspicion, I'll say "It's fun!!"

    Keep in mind though - and I have been saying this often on this forum, because I think we tend to forget - that our circumstances might be very different. How well are the streets plowed, how much snow are you dealing with, how is the traffic, do you ride on paved roads or gravel, what's the traffic-pattern like (stop-and-go, or people racing by with 45mph+) etc.

    So your winter cycling experience might be very different from mine or anybody else around here...

  7. #7
    rhm
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    multimodal commuter rhm's Avatar
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    When my alarm went off at 4:55 this morning, I got out of bed, stretched, and looked out the window... and saw that it had snowed. The ground was white. I went back to bed. But the alarm went off again at 5:00 and I thought, oh, what the &*(). I was on my bike by 5:30. And for the first time in a year, I saw another bicyclist out there, riding in the dark. It was a nice ride.

    Seriously, if you don't love it, you're not doing it right!

  8. #8
    Senior Member
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    I'm doing it every day! It sounds like the OP might have suffered a bit from insufficient preparation.

    Come on, we're **** sapiens! We were practically born to fight against Mother Nature, that old witch! Are you gonna let that old broad win?!

  9. #9
    Senior Member mikeybikes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asphalt junkie View Post
    Last night -- as I pedaled home in near zero temps, light batteries fading front and back, climbing a long hill I call "the grind," sucking air through an iced-over mask, nose, toes, fingers and genitals freezing, knobby tires resisting every stroke, road crap flying in my face despite my fenders, cars buzzing by as always, and knowing this is hardly the worst Mother Nature can dish out -- it occurred to me in an epiphany that this forum is an elaborate hoax. There were no bikers on the road but me, and why should there be? Nobody really commutes by bike in winter except a few unsuspecting and gullible souls who have fallen for the sinister joke. It's designed by some twisted individual or group to lure me into doing something entirely irrational, perilous and ridiculously stupid. I'm onto you. Admit this is a hoax.
    Hey, I was on the road last night in Denver too. You just probably don't ride in the same area as I do. I was freaking cold though. Didn't have anything covering my face. I was on the singlespeed mtb with studded tires.
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  10. #10
    Numb Member asphalt junkie's Avatar
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    Thanks for the encouragement everyone. I really am enjoying winter commuting a lot and plan to plow through to spring but there are dispiriting moments and I thought I'd have a little fun with this one.

    But seriously, time to 'fess up. Who's pulling the strings here? ...

  11. #11
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    We are all solipsists. There are no other winter commuters.

  12. #12
    Senior Member mikeybikes's Avatar
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    Curious Asphalt Junkie, where is it in Denver you commute? Just what hill is the grind? I've climbed a couple rather large hills in some bad weather, so I know how you feel.
    My Bikes: 2010 Breezer Uptown EX | 1980 Miyata 610 | 1970 Hercules | 198? Miele ?
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  13. #13
    Very, very Senior Member JPprivate's Avatar
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    We are all solipsists. There are no other winter commuters.
    Solipsists?? I like that.... ;-)

  14. #14
    Born Again Pagan irclean's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jeffpoulin View Post
    We are all solipsists. There are no other winter commuters.
    Of course, solipsistically, a winter commuter wants to enjoy rides that are fun for him, as well as to get where he's going.
    Gettin' my Fred on.

  15. #15
    Bike Collector Bioflamingo's Avatar
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    I'll admit that while riding this morning in -30 degrees with the windchill I thought to myself, "Seriously, what the **** am I doing? Am I stupid, insane, or both?" And then I got to see the sun rising beautifully over the tops of snow covered houses and realized exactly why I do what I do.
    700 bikes and counting

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bioflamingo View Post
    I'll admit that while riding this morning in -30 degrees with the windchill I thought to myself, "Seriously, what the **** am I doing? Am I stupid, insane, or both?" And then I got to see the sun rising beautifully over the tops of snow covered houses and realized exactly why I do what I do.
    That's beautiful. I sometimes ask myself the same thing, and like you, come to the same conclusion. So what if it's crazy? It's a nice kind of crazy.

  17. #17
    Senior Member tjspiel's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bioflamingo View Post
    I'll admit that while riding this morning in -30 degrees with the windchill I thought to myself, "Seriously, what the **** am I doing? Am I stupid, insane, or both?" And then I got to see the sun rising beautifully over the tops of snow covered houses and realized exactly why I do what I do.
    The snow covered houses are just as pretty when it's 25 F with no perceptible windchill.

    I'm going to say it. Sometimes it's dark, cold, windy, the roads are bad, and it's not all that much fun. I do it anyway. I'll burn a few hundred calories so I can eat that d@mn candy bar.

    When I'm driving sometimes the traffic sucks, the roads are slippery, the windshield wipers are frozen, and MPR is doing yet another fund drive.

    Sometimes is just about getting to work. There's no law that says it must always be fun. My coworkers that drive don't always relish their commutes either.
    Last edited by tjspiel; 01-08-10 at 03:30 PM.

  18. #18
    It's true, man.
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    Cold weather commuting: It's all fun and games till I start strangling on mucus.

  19. #19
    Clyde that Rides Aeneas's Avatar
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    Saw a guy on a Dahon folder as I was driving to work this AM... made me feel like I should have ridden! Way to go random stranger!

  20. #20
    genec genec's Avatar
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    The hoax is that it snows in some parts of the country. It is 72 degrees here.

  21. #21
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by genec View Post
    The hoax is that it snows in some parts of the country. It is 72 degrees here.
    This episode of Bikeforums has been brought to you by the letters "F" and "U".


  22. #22
    Older than dirt CCrew's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Underbridge View Post
    This episode of Bikeforums has been brought to you by the letters "F" and "U".


    Dammit! I snorted coffee on my keyboard.....

  23. #23
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
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    I'll admit to having called it a season about a month ago here in Chicago, and looking out the window at the snow while on the trainer isn't my idea of fun. I just didn't think you'd realize the hoax so soon.

    But I can sure relate to how you feel after having people look at my like I was the crazy one for being out on 2 wheels in the rain and cold. Some of my friends even seem to understand when I tell them that "it feels better when I stop" on the bicycle than it did on the motorcycle.

  24. #24
    Senior Member Tsuru's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by asphalt junkie View Post
    Last night -- as I pedaled home in near zero temps, light batteries fading front and back, climbing a long hill I call "the grind," sucking air through an iced-over mask, nose, toes, fingers and genitals freezing, knobby tires resisting every stroke, road crap flying in my face despite my fenders, cars buzzing by as always, and knowing this is hardly the worst Mother Nature can dish out -- it occurred to me in an epiphany that this forum is an elaborate hoax. There were no bikers on the road but me, and why should there be? Nobody really commutes by bike in winter except a few unsuspecting and gullible souls who have fallen for the sinister joke. It's designed by some twisted individual or group to lure me into doing something entirely irrational, perilous and ridiculously stupid. I'm onto you. Admit this is a hoax.

  25. #25
    bored of "Senior Member"
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    Quote Originally Posted by asphalt junkie View Post
    ...nose, toes, fingers and genitals freezing...
    Now I'm not a fan of cold toes, but the hoax is over when the latter start freezing. I think the key is to kit up with some warm knickers. Something more than what you've been sporting but not quite as hot as Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab's selection.

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