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Old 07-29-10, 06:48 AM   #1
snorkel
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AAAAAH!!! Need to blow off steam to people who may understand...

This is bicycle related but has nothing really to do with commuting and quite a bit to do with spousal annoyances. I just need to get this off my chest.

So two nights ago I found an insanely great deal on a really nice '06 Giant OCR road bike with lots of upgrades on Craigslist. I've been lusting for a road bike for a while. I emailed the seller and he replied the next morning (yesterday) saying it was still available.

So, I send my wife an IM about it. Tell her it is an awesome bike, great deal, looks like it will be the right size, yada yada yada. My wife, much to my surprise, starts really encouraging me to go get it. Telling me to drive an hour and a half after work to go ride it. Buy it.. It can be considered my birthday/Christmas present.. She sounded much more sure about spending the money then I was. Wow!

So I email the guy to arrange to come see it and he says that he has 2 other people who are really interested. Not wanting to miss out I take off work early. I went home to change first and my happy new bike mood went to pot. My wife was clearly ticked that I was going to go buy this bike. Wouldn't say anything of course, but was very short in her communication and was visibly annoyed. I persisted and then she unloaded about spending too much money on bicycles and not understanding why I need a road bike when I have my hybrid commuter. None of these are particularly bad arguments, but... WHY WAS SHE SO POSITIVE ABOUT THE WHOLE THING ON IM?!?!?!?!?!

So we discuss the stupid thing for an hour and a half.. I say that's fine, no big deal, I'll just let it go. Then she 180s on me and starts insisting again that I go get it.. Starts to cry over the stupid thing. Ugh. At this point I genuinely don't want it because the joy of purchasing it is totally gone and now it is just an object of guilt.. Oy'.. She keeps going and going on about it... Apologizing and saying no she really does want me to go get she's just being hormonal.. It soon becomes clear that if I now don't go get it she will be beating herself up over it for the next week.

So fine. With an hour and a half wasted I throw my bike rack in the backseat and drive to downtown Cleveland. An hour and a half later I pull up in the dude's driveway. See the very beautiful bike sitting there. Hoorah... And then the seller comes out to tell me that someone had shown up 5 MINUTES AGO and bought the bike.

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRR! AAAAH!!!! UGH...

*sigh* And as an extra bonus the timing worked out such that I got to drive back home, without the bike, in Cleveland rush hour traffic.

Ended up telling my wife that I didn't like how the bike felt and decided to pass. I was just way too pissed to tell her what actually happened.

But for a good long while on the ride home I *seriously* considered finding an LBS and buying the hottest damn road bike on the rack that I could find.



*Note: In all fairness my wife is pregnant and her hormones are all over the place. And I do love her very much. And she totally doesn't understand my bicycle love or why a mountain bike, a hybrid commuter bike, and a road bike are different beasts with different purposes so it makes it hard for her to understand why I would want this thing to begin with.

** Second Note: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
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Old 07-29-10, 07:17 AM   #2
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Don't worry, its gets better in about 18 years
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Old 07-29-10, 07:26 AM   #3
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Actually that bike wasn't what you were looking for. You were lucky it ended the way it did.

Next time you find a road bike on CL, just do it. It's already been discussed.

That bike will be the one.
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Old 07-29-10, 07:44 AM   #4
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There was a guy once who discovered the secret to understanding women. But before he was able to share it with anyone, he died laughing.

PS.:Sorry ladies, I'm not a sexists, I just think it's funny

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Old 07-29-10, 08:12 AM   #5
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Once you got the initial approval, deal with the rest later. Seriously, she said yes, then was just being all short, next time try to make nice AFTER the bike is sitting in the house. I always let the wife know "We can sell it and make every dime back if you're still annoyed in a week". So far, haven't had to sell anything I didn't want to yet. The pro to being a bargain hunter is you can ALWAYS resell it for what you paid and then some, just gotta be patient when looking.

Joe
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Old 07-29-10, 08:12 AM   #6
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good rant. i understand. i was gonna ask if your wife was "surfing the red tide," being pregnant makes sense. gerv is correct, it wasn't the bike meant for you, it worked out in your favor.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:19 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by snorkel View Post
I went home to change first
First mistake . . . you have to close the deal before she changes her mind.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:21 AM   #8
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I fully understand, sometimes I think they do it on purpose.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:25 AM   #9
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This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:39 AM   #10
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I agree that it wasn't meant to be. It must not have been the bike for you.

I'm sure a better, faster, neater, cooler better bike will come your way.

Just buy it first and ask latter.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:46 AM   #11
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It's not always wives that do not understand.....

My husband just can not see why I need to commute and ride my bikes as much as I do. I am already dreaming of my next bike, and trying to figure out how to get him to agree to the purchase.
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Old 07-29-10, 08:49 AM   #12
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I'll be happy to sell the bike to you...at a bit of a markup.
(I'm kidding)

Dude, you hit the nail on the head...your wife is pregnant. It must be your first (congrats either way) or you'd have known better.
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Old 07-29-10, 09:49 AM   #13
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Sorry, but something will eventually turn up.

-100 on the seller - he should have reserved the bike for a reasonable time once he knew you were heading over - especially if he knew how far you had to drive.

I've offered to pay a portion or the entire amount on some bikes via PayPal to guarantee a sale. In more than one case that got me the bike.

Quote:
Originally Posted by alan s View Post
First mistake . . . you have to close the deal before she changes her mind.
+1 Strike fast, don't hesitate

Quote:
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Don't worry, its gets better in about 18 years
23 years and I'm still waiting
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Old 07-29-10, 09:54 AM   #14
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Quote:
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*Note: In all fairness my wife is pregnant and her hormones are all over the place.

** Second Note: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
LOL, hang in there, it'll get even better when the little whippersnapper is crying all night. This is the time you finally meet your wife. Up until now she was still your GF.
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Old 07-29-10, 10:43 AM   #15
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'Tis often easier to gain forgiveness than to obtain approval.
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Old 07-29-10, 10:59 AM   #16
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This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.
Not sure how to make that work in our house. She is a stay at home mom.. Trying to set this up would mean assigning a salary to being a stay at home mom which would basically translate into me getting a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th job in order to be able to cover her salary.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:00 AM   #17
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Dude, you hit the nail on the head...your wife is pregnant. It must be your first (congrats either way) or you'd have known better.

Second actually.. But I wasn't into cycling or major purchases for the first.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:15 AM   #18
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So, a ship sinks at sea, and the lone survivor, an engineer, barely pulls himself onto what appears to be the only land in sight.
The next morning, while walking along the beach looking for food, he comes across an oxidized oil lamp. He begins to polish it, and out pops a genie, who (not surprisingly) offers up any wish the man's heart desires.

The man says "I'd like a bridge off of this island to the nearest place with an airport".
The genie responds "that is impossible! The nearest major island is more than 100 miles away and the ocean is very deep. There is no way that I could do that - you are an engineer, certainly you can understand THAT. You must htink of something else."
So, after some time, the man says "I'd like to understand the intricacies of the female mind - moods, thoughts, perceptions, emothions, and how they all interact. I want to truly understand what makes them tick."

The genie pauses, "Hmm.................... what kind of car would you like on that bridge?"
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Old 07-29-10, 11:15 AM   #19
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this is a forgiveness-not-permission moment. when I bought my road bike on CL, I went and got it and told her about it after the fact
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Old 07-29-10, 11:17 AM   #20
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This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.
+1 works for me too.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:25 AM   #21
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She's pregnant. End of thread.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:41 AM   #22
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She's pregnant. End of thread.
Exactly.
Why on earth would it occur to you that buying a bike would be a good idea at a time like this?

Dude, some pregnant women could probably be declared "legally insane" when they get hormonal. Some migh be able to get away with murder.

Trust me, I know about this. (Not the murder, but the insane thing).
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Old 07-29-10, 11:42 AM   #23
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Quote:
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Not sure how to make that work in our house. She is a stay at home mom.. Trying to set this up would mean assigning a salary to being a stay at home mom which would basically translate into me getting a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th job in order to be able to cover her salary.
There's your answer. She pregnant with hormone swing while worrying about the baby's financial needs. She loves you and gave you the OK to get another bike but yet she probably have other worries in her mind. The kids need a daddy but yet the daddy is out getting a roadbike. Her mindset is thinking that roadbike translate to faster speed and more chances of injuries. I bet that spike her hormones level.

Suggestion. Like someone else already mention, better to ask for forgiveness then permission. Get it first and don't tell her the real price if you can get away with it. Yes she'll have her suspicion, but she'll most forget it if she see how happy you are with your purchase. Just beware though, all good things comes with a price, you might have to be a "Honey Do" for a short period.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:45 AM   #24
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We keep the bills covered and for not getting questioned about bike expenditures, I don't ask how much she spends on purses and sunglasses. Everybody's got their vices.
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Old 07-29-10, 11:56 AM   #25
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Dude, some pregnant women could probably be declared "legally insane" when they get hormonal. Some migh be able to get away with murder.
Mini Mouse was pregnant and in Court before a Judge with Mickey Mouse. The Judge told Mickey he cannot divorce Mini Mouse on the ground of insanity because she is pregnant. Mickey yelled at the Judge:

"I'm not divorcing Mini Mouse because she's insane and preganant, I'm divorcing her because she's f***ing Goofy!"

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