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  1. #1
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    AAAAAH!!! Need to blow off steam to people who may understand...

    This is bicycle related but has nothing really to do with commuting and quite a bit to do with spousal annoyances. I just need to get this off my chest.

    So two nights ago I found an insanely great deal on a really nice '06 Giant OCR road bike with lots of upgrades on Craigslist. I've been lusting for a road bike for a while. I emailed the seller and he replied the next morning (yesterday) saying it was still available.

    So, I send my wife an IM about it. Tell her it is an awesome bike, great deal, looks like it will be the right size, yada yada yada. My wife, much to my surprise, starts really encouraging me to go get it. Telling me to drive an hour and a half after work to go ride it. Buy it.. It can be considered my birthday/Christmas present.. She sounded much more sure about spending the money then I was. Wow!

    So I email the guy to arrange to come see it and he says that he has 2 other people who are really interested. Not wanting to miss out I take off work early. I went home to change first and my happy new bike mood went to pot. My wife was clearly ticked that I was going to go buy this bike. Wouldn't say anything of course, but was very short in her communication and was visibly annoyed. I persisted and then she unloaded about spending too much money on bicycles and not understanding why I need a road bike when I have my hybrid commuter. None of these are particularly bad arguments, but... WHY WAS SHE SO POSITIVE ABOUT THE WHOLE THING ON IM?!?!?!?!?!

    So we discuss the stupid thing for an hour and a half.. I say that's fine, no big deal, I'll just let it go. Then she 180s on me and starts insisting again that I go get it.. Starts to cry over the stupid thing. Ugh. At this point I genuinely don't want it because the joy of purchasing it is totally gone and now it is just an object of guilt.. Oy'.. She keeps going and going on about it... Apologizing and saying no she really does want me to go get she's just being hormonal.. It soon becomes clear that if I now don't go get it she will be beating herself up over it for the next week.

    So fine. With an hour and a half wasted I throw my bike rack in the backseat and drive to downtown Cleveland. An hour and a half later I pull up in the dude's driveway. See the very beautiful bike sitting there. Hoorah... And then the seller comes out to tell me that someone had shown up 5 MINUTES AGO and bought the bike.

    GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GRRRR! AAAAH!!!! UGH...

    *sigh* And as an extra bonus the timing worked out such that I got to drive back home, without the bike, in Cleveland rush hour traffic.

    Ended up telling my wife that I didn't like how the bike felt and decided to pass. I was just way too pissed to tell her what actually happened.

    But for a good long while on the ride home I *seriously* considered finding an LBS and buying the hottest damn road bike on the rack that I could find.



    *Note: In all fairness my wife is pregnant and her hormones are all over the place. And I do love her very much. And she totally doesn't understand my bicycle love or why a mountain bike, a hybrid commuter bike, and a road bike are different beasts with different purposes so it makes it hard for her to understand why I would want this thing to begin with.

    ** Second Note: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

  2. #2
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    Don't worry, its gets better in about 18 years

  3. #3
    In the right lane gerv's Avatar
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    Actually that bike wasn't what you were looking for. You were lucky it ended the way it did.

    Next time you find a road bike on CL, just do it. It's already been discussed.

    That bike will be the one.

  4. #4
    Bike addict, dreamer AdamDZ's Avatar
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    There was a guy once who discovered the secret to understanding women. But before he was able to share it with anyone, he died laughing.

    PS.:Sorry ladies, I'm not a sexists, I just think it's funny

    Adam

  5. #5
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    Once you got the initial approval, deal with the rest later. Seriously, she said yes, then was just being all short, next time try to make nice AFTER the bike is sitting in the house. I always let the wife know "We can sell it and make every dime back if you're still annoyed in a week". So far, haven't had to sell anything I didn't want to yet. The pro to being a bargain hunter is you can ALWAYS resell it for what you paid and then some, just gotta be patient when looking.

    Joe

  6. #6
    Senior Member pablosnazzy's Avatar
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    good rant. i understand. i was gonna ask if your wife was "surfing the red tide," being pregnant makes sense. gerv is correct, it wasn't the bike meant for you, it worked out in your favor.

  7. #7
    Senior Member alan s's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snorkel View Post
    I went home to change first
    First mistake . . . you have to close the deal before she changes her mind.

  8. #8
    xtrajack xtrajack's Avatar
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    I fully understand, sometimes I think they do it on purpose.
    2008 Kona Fire Mountain/Xtracycle
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    Cycling well IS Cycling Advocacy
    Originally Posted by Steely Dan: if you're riding a bike and not having fun, then you're doing it wrong.

  9. #9
    Senior Member dynodonn's Avatar
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    This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
    As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.

  10. #10
    Senior Member jr59's Avatar
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    I agree that it wasn't meant to be. It must not have been the bike for you.

    I'm sure a better, faster, neater, cooler better bike will come your way.

    Just buy it first and ask latter.

  11. #11
    Senior Member TrekFix's Avatar
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    It's not always wives that do not understand.....

    My husband just can not see why I need to commute and ride my bikes as much as I do. I am already dreaming of my next bike, and trying to figure out how to get him to agree to the purchase.
    2012 - Trek Lexa SL, 2012 - Giant TCX 2, 2013 - Trek Cali S 29er

  12. #12
    Infamous Member chipcom's Avatar
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    I'll be happy to sell the bike to you...at a bit of a markup.
    (I'm kidding)

    Dude, you hit the nail on the head...your wife is pregnant. It must be your first (congrats either way) or you'd have known better.
    "Let us hope our weapons are never needed --but do not forget what the common people knew when they demanded the Bill of Rights: An armed citizenry is the first defense, the best defense, and the final defense against tyranny. If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws" - Edward Abbey

  13. #13
    Muscle bike design spec robtown's Avatar
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    Sorry, but something will eventually turn up.

    -100 on the seller - he should have reserved the bike for a reasonable time once he knew you were heading over - especially if he knew how far you had to drive.

    I've offered to pay a portion or the entire amount on some bikes via PayPal to guarantee a sale. In more than one case that got me the bike.

    Quote Originally Posted by alan s View Post
    First mistake . . . you have to close the deal before she changes her mind.
    +1 Strike fast, don't hesitate

    Quote Originally Posted by sm1960 View Post
    Don't worry, its gets better in about 18 years
    23 years and I'm still waiting
    Korval is Ships
    See my Hyperlite 411 it's the photo model on OutRiderUSA web page

  14. #14
    afraid of whales Mr IGH's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snorkel View Post
    *Note: In all fairness my wife is pregnant and her hormones are all over the place.

    ** Second Note: GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
    LOL, hang in there, it'll get even better when the little whippersnapper is crying all night. This is the time you finally meet your wife. Up until now she was still your GF.

  15. #15
    I need speed AzTallRider's Avatar
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    'Tis often easier to gain forgiveness than to obtain approval.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by dynodonn View Post
    This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
    As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.
    Not sure how to make that work in our house. She is a stay at home mom.. Trying to set this up would mean assigning a salary to being a stay at home mom which would basically translate into me getting a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th job in order to be able to cover her salary.

  17. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by chipcom View Post
    Dude, you hit the nail on the head...your wife is pregnant. It must be your first (congrats either way) or you'd have known better.

    Second actually.. But I wasn't into cycling or major purchases for the first.

  18. #18
    Senior Member canyoneagle's Avatar
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    So, a ship sinks at sea, and the lone survivor, an engineer, barely pulls himself onto what appears to be the only land in sight.
    The next morning, while walking along the beach looking for food, he comes across an oxidized oil lamp. He begins to polish it, and out pops a genie, who (not surprisingly) offers up any wish the man's heart desires.

    The man says "I'd like a bridge off of this island to the nearest place with an airport".
    The genie responds "that is impossible! The nearest major island is more than 100 miles away and the ocean is very deep. There is no way that I could do that - you are an engineer, certainly you can understand THAT. You must htink of something else."
    So, after some time, the man says "I'd like to understand the intricacies of the female mind - moods, thoughts, perceptions, emothions, and how they all interact. I want to truly understand what makes them tick."

    The genie pauses, "Hmm.................... what kind of car would you like on that bridge?"
    Currently one bike: Singular Gryphon do-it all bike with Nuvinci N360
    Coming soon (winter project) Ciocc Designer '84 mod build
    Temporary (on loan from a buddy): 1985 Raleigh Prestige

  19. #19
    Senior Member mtalinm's Avatar
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    this is a forgiveness-not-permission moment. when I bought my road bike on CL, I went and got it and told her about it after the fact
    Trek Domane 4.5 (commute/distance), Specialized Roubaix (climber), Xootr Swift (winter/travel), Trek Soho (around town)

  20. #20
    The Professor akohekohe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by dynodonn View Post
    This is why the wife and I have separate financial accounts, and a house account.
    As long as we contribute the designated amount( that we agreed upon) to the house account each month, we can spend the remainder of our money as we see fit without all the personal fireworks.
    +1 works for me too.
    The more you drive the less intelligent you are. - Tracy Walter as Miller in Repo Man.

  21. #21
    Packfodding 3 caloso's Avatar
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    She's pregnant. End of thread.
    Cyclists of the world, unite! You have nothing to lube but your chains!

  22. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by caloso View Post
    She's pregnant. End of thread.
    Exactly.
    Why on earth would it occur to you that buying a bike would be a good idea at a time like this?

    Dude, some pregnant women could probably be declared "legally insane" when they get hormonal. Some migh be able to get away with murder.

    Trust me, I know about this. (Not the murder, but the insane thing).

  23. #23
    I am a caffine girl colleen c's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by snorkel View Post
    Not sure how to make that work in our house. She is a stay at home mom.. Trying to set this up would mean assigning a salary to being a stay at home mom which would basically translate into me getting a 2nd, 3rd, or 4th job in order to be able to cover her salary.
    There's your answer. She pregnant with hormone swing while worrying about the baby's financial needs. She loves you and gave you the OK to get another bike but yet she probably have other worries in her mind. The kids need a daddy but yet the daddy is out getting a roadbike. Her mindset is thinking that roadbike translate to faster speed and more chances of injuries. I bet that spike her hormones level.

    Suggestion. Like someone else already mention, better to ask for forgiveness then permission. Get it first and don't tell her the real price if you can get away with it. Yes she'll have her suspicion, but she'll most forget it if she see how happy you are with your purchase. Just beware though, all good things comes with a price, you might have to be a "Honey Do" for a short period.
    "Difference between a well dressed cyclist riding a two wheeled bicycle and a badly dressed cyclist riding a Recumbent is only a-tire"
    _______________________________________________________________________
    Some people got their head so far up their butt such that the only thing they hear is muffle when trying to explain anything to them! I only wish they take it out sometimes to smell the roses.

  24. #24
    Gears? CliftonGK1's Avatar
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    We keep the bills covered and for not getting questioned about bike expenditures, I don't ask how much she spends on purses and sunglasses. Everybody's got their vices.
    "I feel like my world was classier before I found cyclocross."
    - Mandi M.

  25. #25
    I am a caffine girl colleen c's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fatdogvinn View Post
    Dude, some pregnant women could probably be declared "legally insane" when they get hormonal. Some migh be able to get away with murder.
    Mini Mouse was pregnant and in Court before a Judge with Mickey Mouse. The Judge told Mickey he cannot divorce Mini Mouse on the ground of insanity because she is pregnant. Mickey yelled at the Judge:

    "I'm not divorcing Mini Mouse because she's insane and preganant, I'm divorcing her because she's f***ing Goofy!"

    "Difference between a well dressed cyclist riding a two wheeled bicycle and a badly dressed cyclist riding a Recumbent is only a-tire"
    _______________________________________________________________________
    Some people got their head so far up their butt such that the only thing they hear is muffle when trying to explain anything to them! I only wish they take it out sometimes to smell the roses.

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