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  1. #1
    Senior Member no motor?'s Avatar
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    I saw a cop talking to a salmon last night.

    I was driving home (way too hot to commute here this week) on a side street that gets a lot of traffic from people who look like they're walking or riding to or from work, and noticed a salmon slowly pedaling the wrong way on the street. I though about saying something at first, figured it wouldn't change anything and just kept going. I got about 2 houses past the salmon when I noticed a police car approaching from behind, and I could see both of them stopping. No telling what they were talking about, but I'd be pleasantly surprised if the cop told the salmon he was going the wrong way.

  2. #2
    Half way there gmt13's Avatar
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    I encounter salmon riders occasionally, and they all tend to look like someone a cop would stop even though they were riding on the correct side.

    Too hot? Then you need to ride faster to make more cooling wind. I'd do almost anything to avoid 2 horrible situations: sitting down on a cold car seat in the winter, and sitting down on a steaming car seat in the summer.

    -G

  3. #3
    Senior Member choclabman's Avatar
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    Saw my first one this morning while riding. The MUP splits and goes around some trees and this guy was riding toward me on my side of the MUP. Since it goes around the trees the MUP is only half as wide as it would be if it were one wide lane. He had no clue he was doing something wrong.

  4. #4
    keep moving forward... jcivic00's Avatar
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    I find that most people that use an MUP don't really know what they are doing, it's not just the salmon. The stripe down the center usually means nothing.
    2009 Motobecane Fantom CX
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    Many others, gone but not forgotten.

  5. #5
    Senior Member CommuteCommando's Avatar
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    I ran into (or, was almost run into) by one in a clearly marked bike lane this morning. No cops around, so he had to hear my stock scatological opinion on his intelligence. (dumbs**t)

    Quote Originally Posted by gmt13 View Post
    Too hot? Then you need to ride faster to make more cooling wind.
    -G
    +1
    As much as you paid for that Beemer [Mercedies, Audi, Escalade], I'm surprised it didn't come equipped with turn signals.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Hoshnasi's Avatar
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    The majority of all people on bicycles in SolCal are Salmon riding on the sidewalk. If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.

    http://tickers.TickerFactory.com/ezt...E4T/weight.png

    Quote Originally Posted by crushkilldstroy View Post
    This is the best thing you can do to prevent a hangover.
    21. Buy more meth.
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    23. Don't go to sleep.
    Quote Originally Posted by SPlKE View Post
    I built a self-trepanning rig that I use after bike wrecks in which my helmet splits and I can't remember how I got home.
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  7. #7
    Senior Member Koobazaur's Avatar
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    Personally, I admire salmons. I rode against traffic on LA roads a few times and, frankly, having all those cars coming at me at 45mph is one of the most frightening sensations ever

    (tho, honestly, its not like going with traffic is any less dangerous, since cars are still whizzing past you at those speeds and then you can't even see them. But acting like a vehicle makes you more predictable, so the cars can react to you better than if they were heading head-on to you, I guess).

  8. #8
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Koobazaur View Post
    Personally, I admire salmons. I rode against traffic on LA roads a few times and, frankly, having all those cars coming at me at 45mph is one of the most frightening sensations ever

    (tho, honestly, its not like going with traffic is any less dangerous, since cars are still whizzing past you at those speeds and then you can't even see them. But acting like a vehicle makes you more predictable, so the cars can react to you better than if they were heading head-on to you, I guess).
    It's been brought up before, but do the math:

    -Against the flow of traffic: speed of car PLUS speed of rider= speed at time of impact.
    -With the flow of traffic: speed of car MINUS speed of rider= speed at time of impact.

    So, without taking any other variables into consideration and just using random numbers...

    45+10=55 or 45-10=35.

    Feel free to play with the numbers. It really starts getting scary if you make the assumption that the salmon is riding even faster...

    ETA: regarding the bolded part? Mirrors were designed for this reason. They come in handlebar, helmet, and glasses mounting configurations. Do a bit of searching here and in A&S, as there are all kinds of threads dedicated to the topic.
    Last edited by no1mad; 07-03-12 at 04:32 PM.
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  9. #9
    coprolite fietsbob's Avatar
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    Doesn't that fall into state Fish and Wildlife jurisdiction?

  10. #10
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    Sorry for the dumb question: so Salmoning is going against the traffic? I thought it was someone who was weaving between cars in traffic (in city traffic).

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by chefisaac View Post
    Sorry for the dumb question: so Salmoning is going against the traffic?
    Salmon, named for the fish swimming upstream against the current to spawn.

    800px-Salmon_leaping_at_Willamette_Falls.jpg


    I thought it was someone who was weaving between cars in traffic (in city traffic).
    That would be slalom, as in alpine ski racing.

    Men+Slalom+Alpine+FIS+Ski+World+Champion+-LrUgQkn3mKl.jpg

    Obviously the two are not mutually exclusive - you might see a salmon slalom until he removes himself from the gene pool.
    Last edited by Drew Eckhardt; 07-03-12 at 05:32 PM.

  12. #12
    rigamortis tortoise LesterOfPuppets's Avatar
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    I only slalom peds, AKA flesh pylons
    1980ish Free Spirit Sunbird fixed * 1996 Mongoose IBOC Zero-G * 1997 KHS Comp * 1990-ish Scapin * Lemond Buenos Aires Triple

  13. #13
    just ride
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    Quote Originally Posted by no motor? View Post
    I was driving home (way too hot to commute here this week)
    I've skipped because it's too cold and rainy, I don't think I would ever skip because it's "too hot" out. Drink more water.

    Quote Originally Posted by Drew Eckhardt View Post
    Obviously the two are not mutually exclusive - you might see a salmon slalom until he removes himself from the gene pool.
    LMFAO. Spawn mission fail.
    what is this 'road tax' you speak of?

  14. #14
    Senior Member degnaw's Avatar
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    I doubt the cops in most places even bother... there's so many of them that you can't possibly make any dent. If the rider is riding a BMX or walmart bike, he/she is more than likely on the wrong side of the road.

    Quote Originally Posted by no1mad View Post
    45+10=55 or 45-10=35.
    Yes, I'm splitting hairs, and this doesn't really matter in any way... but assuming a 3000lb car and a 200lb bike+rider, 45+10 = 51.56mph impact to the cyclist, and 45-10 = 32.81mph impact to the cyclist.

  15. #15
    Randomhead
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    it's a good thing that most wrong-way cyclists are going slowly. The few times I've come upon a wrong-way cyclist that was going fast, the closing speed was scary. It is potentially lethal

  16. #16
    Super Moderator no1mad's Avatar
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    ^^ Well, I did say "without taking any other variables into consideration"...

    All I know is that a) my life insurance is paid up (worth more dead than alive right now), b) I'm a Clyde @235 lbs., so I'm fairly confident I'm going to leave a dent if I get hit, and c) I may suck at math, but I ain't gonna let it stop me from riding.
    Quote Originally Posted by Cyril View Post
    Ride what and in what manner pleases you. Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. srsly.
    Community guidelines

  17. #17
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoshnasi View Post
    If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.
    Quote Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
    If the rider is riding a BMX or walmart bike, he/she is more than likely on the wrong side of the road.
    I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a *** who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.

  18. #18
    "Per Ardua ad Surly" nelson249's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
    I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a *** who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.
    As with most stereotypes, however, there is a grain of truth to degnaw and Hoshnasi's comments. That being said, I've seen all sorts of dreadful and dangerous behaviour on the part of people riding "nice" bikes too.
    1997 Mongoose Hilltopper, 1988 Bianchi Specialissima, 2006 Surly Cross-Check, 2010 Norco City Glide, 1947 CCM Single-speed.

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  19. #19
    Senior Member CommuteCommando's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hoshnasi View Post
    The majority of all people on bicycles in SolCal are Salmon riding on the sidewalk. If they are riding on Walmart cheap full suspension MTB I can almost guarantee they are salmon.
    I wish it weren't true, but it is.
    As much as you paid for that Beemer [Mercedies, Audi, Escalade], I'm surprised it didn't come equipped with turn signals.

  20. #20
    Senior Member CommuteCommando's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by nelson249 View Post
    As with most stereotypes, however, there is a grain of truth to degnaw and Hoshnasi's comments. That being said, I've seen all sorts of dreadful and dangerous behaviour on the part of people riding "nice" bikes too.
    Yes, and the salmon I encountered this morning was on a "nice" MTB.
    As much as you paid for that Beemer [Mercedies, Audi, Escalade], I'm surprised it didn't come equipped with turn signals.

  21. #21
    Senior Member degnaw's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by I-Like-To-Bike View Post
    I prefer the company of people who are not smug Sons of a *** who believe that their bike provenance awards them a special status to judge other cyclists.
    It's called an observation, not a judgement...

  22. #22
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    I love to cook.....and eat salmon!

  23. #23
    Been Around Awhile I-Like-To-Bike's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
    It's called an observation, not a judgement...
    My observation is that posters making "observations" about the behavior of people on "Walmart cheap full suspension MTB" or "riding a BMX or walmart bike" are just substituting bike brands for their judgmental stereotyping of people who don't match the observers' approved social, racial and/or economic profile.

  24. #24
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    What most slaloming salmons don't understand is that salmon slaloming is far more effective on a road bike.

  25. #25
    rugged individualist wphamilton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by degnaw View Post
    It's called an observation, not a judgement...
    I have another name for it, and that DOES involve a judgement. Seriously not cool degnaw.

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