kevmk81

I'm a married guy. Baby boy on the way (our first!!!). I'm getting a lot of crap from a coworker. He insistently tells me I won't be riding anymore after he's born. I can't emphasize enough that he's really not joking anymore. At first he laughed about it, now not so much. I'm really starting to believe he simply HATES the fact I ride in nearly every morning to work. It's rare I drive anymore... besides winter. I drive 1 day out of the week in the winter.

SO, how many of you are married and with children and/or newborns? Are newborns any different vs grown children for those of you who commute? FYI - my wife drives everywhere. She does not bike commute at all. One of the reasons I ride to work is because I believe that pushing on a bike pedal vs a gas pedal is one way to make the planet a better place for my child(ren). I don't only do it for fitness/training/exercise/fun. I want to raise my child to see that you don't have to drive everywhere. I don't want to sit on the couch every night and do nothing. I *want* to be as healthy as I can, so I can keep up with him as he gets older. I want him to look up to his dad and see that if you have the will to do something, you can get it done no matter what! Some people will never experience the sense of accomplishment you get from riding 10 miles to work, 25 mph headwind with single digit temps. Am I supposed to simply stop bike commuting (or cycling for that matter) simply because I have a child now?

Is it bad for me to want my wife to drive the baby wherever we are going to end up having him watched while we are at work (she chooses to drive right now... her attitude might change in the future)? I am (and always will) work day shift - only option where I work (IT). My wife works second shift now, but won't in the future. She will probably switch to first shift after she gets done with college (she will be finishing college when we have baby).

Is the future really that grim for me? Am I going to never ride again like this a**hole tells me? Why is he being such a downer? It was funny at first... but after 3 months of him being more and more insistent (like a know-it-all), it's getting old. I do get the same every once in a while from others, but not nearly as much. Thankfully I don't work *with* him, just eat lunch with the guy.

I ride to work. What's the difference, besides driving the baby where he needs to go, from me driving to work and riding my bike to work? Heck, after baby is a year or older, I'll tack on a trailer on the bike and bike him to daycare. We have a daycare center less than a quarter mile from home. If anything I can take him over there on the bike with the trailer, go back home, get on my commuting bike and bike to work. I just get tired of people telling me I won't be riding to work/ or even riding at all when the baby comes. I'm sorry, but this is part of my life... so deal with it... or are they right? I need advice! I need someone to tell me it's not as bad as what people are telling me it's going to be like. I know I won't be putting in 7000+ miles a year for the time being... but I sure as heck am not going down to 0.

RobertFrapples

I have a three year old and a six year old. I ride to work every day. On nice days I bring the six year old to school on my way to work with a tag-a-long.

Unless your commute is extremely dangerous (e.g. through high violent crime areas), just keep calm and carry on. And find somebody else to eat lunch with.

FenderTL5

Fact: a newborn will force changes in your routine(s). Whether or not it's your bike commute is largely up to you and your wife/family to decide. It's just something every household has to figure out for themselves. However, with the added responsibilities will come change.

I've signed the congrats card for those with newborn's the following way for years; Now you'll truly know what it's like to sleep like a baby, up at midnight, up at 2AM, up at 4AM, up at 6..

My kids are older. The only hindrance for me is the time allocation for packing clothes and making lunches for everyone (my wife is disabled). I do most of it at night before retiring for the evening. It makes the mornings simpler.
You'll adjust to your routines, whatever they end up being.

kevmk81

Thanks for the words of wisdom. I do already make my lunch at night... I'm all about planning ahead! I pack everything in my bag and make my lunch.

It's just frustrating to have a coworker - one that I've ate lunch with almost every day for the last 4 years (and I eat with others as well in the 'group') to be so negative. I have in the past stopped eating with them for a couple months, but miss the comradery between myself and the others.

I'd love to hear more about how others experiences with bike commuting and newborns and/or children. I'm not concerned with bad sleep patterns. It's temporary - I'm assuming. Once the child turns what... 3? 4? When do they usually stop waking up every couple of hours at night?

I hope my wife understands why I want to continue riding to work. She doesn't always remember that I'm extremely against driving to work every day like a robot. It costs money, it costs health, etc... my coworker definitely instills the fear that she won't allow me to bike commute. Maybe I do need to just eat lunch by myself, at my desk.

acidfast7

I don't have children yet.

But over here, it's very common to see people using a Römer Jockey seat. I live next to a school and I probably see roughly 15 kids per morning get dropped off with one of these. When I commute through the city in the middle of the summer, I usually see roughly 20-30 kids on their way to school or going home.

So, my comment to your co-worker would be that in most countries, kids go by bike to/from school/daycare/shopping on a bike, so why would you expect me to be any different?







I occasionally also see smaller children on the front, but usually only in Denmark and in eastern Europe.



I'd take him with you.

acidfast7

Oh, and for what it's worth, my SOs family rode across Bavaria, Austria and Hungary with her in a front seat (3 years old) in the early 80s. Even though the tough communistic checkpoint near Mosonmagyaróvár.

Commodus

Anytime you're a little different you're going to get some push back. Ignore the jerks, listen to your wife, be safe, ride your bike.

hubcap

I have a daughter that turned 5 today and a son that is 7. My advice is that you need to talk with your wife about what her expectations are. If she is good with you riding everyday and her taking the child to/from daycare, then ride on. You do need to re-asses this situation in a few months to see if it is still working out for her and be willing to change your commuting pattern if necessary to keep everyone sane.

You don't mention how much more time you spend commuting via bike vs car. That is usually the biggest family issue.

kevmk81

Thanks acidfast. Is it generally thought that you shouldn't allow a newborn infant on a bike until he can support the weight of his head? Correct? Just curious. I guess unless you can somehow make sure the newborn's head won't be able to move anywhere. That just sounds uncomfortable though.

kevmk81

The ride itself - to work, short route - takes about 35 minutes. The ride iteslf - back home, short route - takes roughly the same, maybe 35 to 40 minutes. Driving to and from work takes about 15 minutes both ways... so half an hour total.

Winter involves putting on layers, which takes a little longer to get ready.

Here is my winter routine right now:

5:50 am - wake up, eat a quick bite, get dressed
6:20 to 6:25ish - leave for work
7:00 am - typical time I arrive at work
4:15-4:30pm ish - ride home
5:00-5:15pm ish - back at home.
by the time 5:30 rolls around, I am changed from my bike commuting clothes (yes, I gear up - 10 miles to work, 11 miles home - requires, for me, bike specific clothing).

Maybe I'm just trying to assure emyself. I do need to talk with the wife though. I'm not 100% sure what she's thinking. I like the idea of bike commuting for a month or two, then touch base later to see if it's working out.

acidfast7

I am not an expert as I don't have children. But, I think once they can support their head and sit upright without struggle (roughly 12-18 months) that they'd be good to go. This also depends on finding a helmet that would fit and can be supported by the newborn/infant. I've seen a few kids go down but they're remarkable ... wait until you see them go down the ski slopes without poles

Not a political comment here, but we usually get 10-18 months leave per child, so usually when the mother goes back to work, they can usually go to work/daycare on the bike.

Feel free to show you're colleague that he/she is clueless.

AusTexMurf

We have 4 kiddos, 12, 9 1/2, 4, and 2. I don't drive at all unless I am forced to use my pickup for a specific job or I am leaving town. I can even get 30+ miles north of me by biking to the commuter train. Use safe routes. Stay calm. Avoid traffic and potentially dangerous situations, as much as possible. Pay Attention. Use good gear. I prefer the Chariot Cougar Double trailer from infant to about 3 1/2 years. Then a combo of a tagalong bike and the trailer. Then a combo of their own geared bike and tagalong, trailer will now be needed for groceries (lol). Also, strider/balance bikes starting around 18 months.
Helmets all the time, although you will likely meet some resistance to negotiate in the bike trailer.

Ride. Be Safe. Have Fun.

idc

I actually started riding more after I had my first kid, because I had less time to do stuff so I merged exercise and commuting together, and it's a good way to clear your head, get some fresh air, etc. It's easy to stay trapped at home with newborns. You realize how precious your time is. I spend less time now on the couch and computer. Take turns with your s.o. or whatever to do something other than childcare/work/chores every day, even if it's just 15 minutes.

The first 6-12 months after a kid is born is tough. Soon after that you can get out on your bike with one of them, thus multi-tasking again.

Last year my kids turned 1 and 4, and I rode 7000+ miles, riding I'd guess on at least 320 days in the year. My wife is possibly more generous with my cycling than some though.

Your co-worker sounds like a d*ck.

AusTexMurf

My wife is supportive as well........she commutes by bike about 60% of the time, me very close to 100%.

Also.....4 kiddos........age to start, greatly influenced by mother.....
1st-15 months, bike paths only
2nd-10.5 months in the TRAILER, w/ helmet but no additional neck support.
3rd-6.5 months w/ the padded neck/head support from Chariot or Bob.......probably Burley has one, too.
4th-4.5 months w/ head/neck support

All of them did just fine and LOVED the bike trailer. We were just more comfortable with increasing experience. Also, the neck braces help and so does having the infant trained up in a more uprightish jogging type stroller rather than a typical newborn/infant stroller. They build strength and get practice.

AusTexMurf

Also....you should check out the Recreational and Family Forum.....

https://www.bikeforums.net/forumdispl...nal-amp-Family

Clarabelle

I'm way past the newborn children stage in life. I do know this, your life will change in many ways, some good, some bad. However, you'll find a way to meet your needs, your wife's needs, and the needs of your child. It is time to tell the jerk at work to "F-- OFF" and mind his own business. Just sayin'.

tjspiel

Whether or not you continue to commute as much will depend on your personal priorities and how you and your wife work out the logistics of taking care of the kids.

There are plenty of activities that took a back seat once we had children but the ones that are priorities are the ones you find a way to do. As an example, I've always been active. I like to run and workout. At the same time I wanted to be there for my family, especially when the kids were young. So that meant moving my runs and workouts until after they went to bed at night.

Be careful about placing the burden of transporting the kids 100% on your wife. Trust me when I say that your personal happiness will suffer if your wife isn't getting what she needs in terms of rest, time to herself, etc. I know many people with infants who loved that drive to work because it gave them 30 minutes to themselves.

slowride454

My son is 2 now. I commuted on a bike more since he was born because I was awake earlier and thinking of my health more. I can't ride in the winter, but plan on riding most days as soon as the snow clears. I got a trailer for my son and I finally got my wife to ride now. You will have lifestyle changes, but in my case all of them were for the better.

BloNoBikeGuy

Though I'm not there, what I hear is a co-worker who's scared to ride to work himself, and looking to give you excuses to do the same.

My wife & I have a toddler. The way we have things set up now. I load the bike into the bike rack at night. In the morning, the wife, kid and I drive to day care, drop the kid off, and then we drive on to my wife's work. I unload the bike from the car, kiss the wife good bye, and ride on to work (about 4 miles). She gets off work before I do, so she goes and picks up the kid, and I ride home on the bike. Rinse, repeat.

If I just rode my bike straight to work, it's about 6 miles. Either way, my wife is going to drive regardless, so I might as well spend the time with her and the toddler.

As for riding with the kid, there are many options (trailers, seats, etc) that can accommodate a child of various sizes. Our kid is two, and has logged a few hundred miles in her trailer going to the farmer's market, grocery store, and recreational trail riding. You can integrate biking into your life... you just have to figure out how to do it in a way that works best for you.

cplager

I've got a 3 1/2 year old and an almost 6 year old.

For the first couple weeks, you'll be trying to survive. At the end of the pregnency, your wife won't be able to sleep well. I'm convinced this is training for what is to come.

After things settle down a little bit, commuting by bike may be the only chance you get to go on rides. Do it whenever possible. As things calm down a bit, life will return to (a new) normal.

Most pediatricians recommend against having anybody smaller than 12 months on a bike or in a trailer. A trailer is nice because even if the bike falls over, the trailer doesn't.

Congratulations and good luck! Oh yeah. Sleep now. A lot. Because it's going to be a while...

Cheers,
Charles

treadtread

My wife took unpaid leave for 6 months when the baby was born - she was managing the baby on her own when I was at work. She used to be exhausted all the time - the baby never let her sleep more than 2 hours at a stretch. So I made it a point to be back home as soon as possible so I could help out - at that point, I really didn't have any time to do something for myself. Neither of us did. This changed as the baby got older.

So it really depends on your home situation. If you have grand parent support, it may be easier. If you and your wife are on your own, as we were, then getting time to yourself in the first few months is a rarity. Sorry if that isn't what you want to hear However, if your bike commute time and your driving time are almost the same, you may be able to continue.

On the plus side - my son really likes it now if I bike him to school. My current situation doesn't allow me to do that often - but I do it when I can.

Gatorfreak

As others have said, the first few weeks or months can be rough with limited sleep. I have twin 4 year olds so my experience with the early months was a bit rougher than most. It gets easier. Those first few months you might prefer to get an extra 10 minutes of sleep rather than ride in.

Like idc mentioned above, I also started riding to work to merge exercise with commuting since having kids because time became so limited. If it's important to you, you'll make it work. My kids think it's normal to ride a bike to work. I'm proud of that.

kmv2

I think it depends largely on where you live. Get an idea of how far apart things are.
It's doable.

I know people who regularly do it.

The people who probably know it best could be down at your LBS, at least in my experience. Do the owners have kids? They'd be interesting to talk to if you're looking for people who have a busy schedule (with kids) and are probably committed to going places by bike.

People who say you can't do it are the same type of people who say you can't ride to work, they have never tried it and probably never will.

droy45

Disregard what your coworker is telling you. It appears he is intimidated by your efforts to ride your bike to work and doesn't like the fact that you are enjoying yourself so much. As for the child, like others mentioned, it will be a culture shock at first but life will take on that new normal real quick. Don't worry, you'll ride just as much as usual even though you may commute to work a little less at first. It really depends on how you and your wife will set up your new schedules. Evenings and weekends you can always take 1 hour rides by yourself which will be great and when your child is a little older, like 18 months or so, get one of those trailers so you can take your child along while your wife does errands or shops or whatever. Those are the safest and best way to go. Use the Local MUP or ride in low traffic residential areas. I had 3 kids, all grown now but thats what I did and it was seamless. No worries.

modernjess

Remember this, you are about to have the best day of your life. That's the day when your first child is born. So congrats in advance.

First time parents-to-be do a whole lot of pre-planning and worrying and way over-thinking every little thing. Don't get sucked into that. It's a waste of time. Trust yourself, because for the most part you will know what to do and when to do it. Except when you don't and then you'll figure it out on the fly. If you want to ride you will find a way even if it is just to prove your co-worker wrong. I've been a rider and a parent for 19 years now. Some years I ride more and some years less. The first 6 months as a parent is not what it's like in the next 6 and the next year and so and so on. Parenting is dynamic and ever changing, as your kids grow you grow too.

Calm down, you'll figure it out. And most of all enjoy the ride it goes by fast.