All function no form
09-22-14, 09:20 PM
#1
Fork and spoon operator
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Hopkins, Minnesota
Posts: 577
Bikes: 2013 Surly Crosscheck, 1990 Schwinn Impact, 1973 Schwinn Continental
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All function no form
Today I saw a woman who obviously biked a lot get on an ugly, purple, 30-year-old step-through ten speed. And it occurred to me it might be fun to see pictures of people's ugliest useful bikes. I always try to make my bikes look nice, but sometimes it just ain't happenin'. Here's my bike with the largest ratio of utility to beauty:
It was originally an upright comfort bike that I got new in 2003. I'd guess it has about 8,000 miles on it, and it's currently my second-most ridden bike. It ugliest features are:
1. Way too much seat post;
2. Way too much steer tube;
3. An embarrassingly small chain ring;
4. Mismatched wheels, one schrader and one presta;
5. Yellow accents; and
6. A high-sitting rear rack connected using p-clamps.
Anyone got any cool ugmos to share?!
It was originally an upright comfort bike that I got new in 2003. I'd guess it has about 8,000 miles on it, and it's currently my second-most ridden bike. It ugliest features are:
1. Way too much seat post;
2. Way too much steer tube;
3. An embarrassingly small chain ring;
4. Mismatched wheels, one schrader and one presta;
5. Yellow accents; and
6. A high-sitting rear rack connected using p-clamps.
Anyone got any cool ugmos to share?!
Last edited by PennyTheDog; 09-22-14 at 10:22 PM.
09-22-14, 10:30 PM
#2
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1982 Schwinn "World Tourist," made by Giant in Taiwan
Condition when I got it: Steel rims, bizarre Shimano drivetrain where the ratchet is in the crank and the cluster is fixed, wrong size seat post slit with a hacksaw and jammed into the seat tube. I literally stripped it of that stuff at my parents house. Since then:
1. DIY wheels including early 60's Sturmey Archer 3-speed IGH
2. Chain guard from old Huffy, painted from can of car touch up paint, car long gone
3. Seat post from my parts bucket, shimmed with piece of Leinenkugel's can, for local flavor
4. Original "Schwinn Approved" rack and Wald basket attached with hose clamps
5. Saddle bag repaired twice with Shoe Goo. The second time, it burst open while I was en route, leading to "yard sale"
The thing is that within Cat 0, the wheels make the bike, and a bike with high pressure road tires can reach a respectable speed, so it's a surprisingly nice ride compared to how it looks.
Condition when I got it: Steel rims, bizarre Shimano drivetrain where the ratchet is in the crank and the cluster is fixed, wrong size seat post slit with a hacksaw and jammed into the seat tube. I literally stripped it of that stuff at my parents house. Since then:
1. DIY wheels including early 60's Sturmey Archer 3-speed IGH
2. Chain guard from old Huffy, painted from can of car touch up paint, car long gone
3. Seat post from my parts bucket, shimmed with piece of Leinenkugel's can, for local flavor
4. Original "Schwinn Approved" rack and Wald basket attached with hose clamps
5. Saddle bag repaired twice with Shoe Goo. The second time, it burst open while I was en route, leading to "yard sale"
The thing is that within Cat 0, the wheels make the bike, and a bike with high pressure road tires can reach a respectable speed, so it's a surprisingly nice ride compared to how it looks.
Last edited by Gresp15C; 12-10-16 at 08:42 AM.
09-22-14, 10:37 PM
#3
Banned
Today I saw a woman who obviously biked a lot get on an ugly, purple, 30-year-old step-through ten speed. And it occurred to me it might be fun to see pictures of people's ugliest useful bikes. I always try to make my bikes look nice, but sometimes it just ain't happenin'. Here's my bike with the largest ratio of utility to beauty:
It was originally an upright comfort bike that I got new in 2003. I'd guess it has about 8,000 miles on it, and it's currently my second-most ridden bike. It ugliest features are:
1. Way too much seat post;
2. Way too much steer tube;
3. An embarrassingly small chain ring;
4. Mismatched wheels, one schrader and one presta;
5. Yellow accents; and
6. A high-sitting rear rack connected using p-clamps.
Anyone got any cool ugmos to share?!
It was originally an upright comfort bike that I got new in 2003. I'd guess it has about 8,000 miles on it, and it's currently my second-most ridden bike. It ugliest features are:
1. Way too much seat post;
2. Way too much steer tube;
3. An embarrassingly small chain ring;
4. Mismatched wheels, one schrader and one presta;
5. Yellow accents; and
6. A high-sitting rear rack connected using p-clamps.
Anyone got any cool ugmos to share?!
09-22-14, 10:44 PM
#4
Fork and spoon operator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Hopkins, Minnesota
Posts: 577
Bikes: 2013 Surly Crosscheck, 1990 Schwinn Impact, 1973 Schwinn Continental
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I actually think that's really nice-looking. I'd love to see that original drivetrain-- I've never heard of that before! And man, that seat post "solution" really makes you just shake your head. You would think the person doing it would have just paused for one second and asked, "am I really sure this is the approach?"
1982 Schwinn "World Tourist," made by Giant in Taiwan
Condition when I got it: Steel rims, bizarre Shimano drivetrain where the ratchet is in the crank and the cluster is fixed, wrong size seat post slit with a hacksaw and jammed into the seat tube. I literally stripped it of that stuff at my parents house. Since then:
1. DIY wheels including early 60's Sturmey Archer 3-speed IGH
2. Chain guard from old Huffy, painted from can of car touch up paint, car long gone
3. Seat post from my parts bucket, shimmed with piece of Leinenkugel's can, for local flavor
4. Original "Schwinn Approved" rack and Wald basket attached with hose clamps
5. Saddle bag repaired twice with Shoe Goo. The second time, it burst open while I was en route, leading to "yard sale"
The thing is that within Cat 0, the wheels make the bike, and a bike with high pressure road tires can reach a respectable speed, so it's a surprisingly nice ride compared to how it looks.
Condition when I got it: Steel rims, bizarre Shimano drivetrain where the ratchet is in the crank and the cluster is fixed, wrong size seat post slit with a hacksaw and jammed into the seat tube. I literally stripped it of that stuff at my parents house. Since then:
1. DIY wheels including early 60's Sturmey Archer 3-speed IGH
2. Chain guard from old Huffy, painted from can of car touch up paint, car long gone
3. Seat post from my parts bucket, shimmed with piece of Leinenkugel's can, for local flavor
4. Original "Schwinn Approved" rack and Wald basket attached with hose clamps
5. Saddle bag repaired twice with Shoe Goo. The second time, it burst open while I was en route, leading to "yard sale"
The thing is that within Cat 0, the wheels make the bike, and a bike with high pressure road tires can reach a respectable speed, so it's a surprisingly nice ride compared to how it looks.
09-22-14, 10:49 PM
#6
Banned
That's the first thing I thought of when I saw it (an LHT). I'm not a huge fan of Surly bikes (kinda overpriced for what you get), but they're distinct!
09-24-14, 05:08 PM
#7
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Thanks. It's one of the last of the bike-shaped bikes. 
So far as I know, Schwinn used it for just a few years. A friend of mine got one while I was in high school. I remember wondering what would happen if my pants got caught in the chain while I was going fast. Or, if a slightly rusty chain decided to get hung up (not an improbable occurrance in those days, because we tended to neglect our bikes). I'd much rather be able to stop pedaling and have everything stop moving.
The cranks used that really weird rounded tapered spline, but thankfully, used standard bottom bracket threads, and I managed to pop in a spare spindle from who knows where. Then, what to do about wheels... I had found some 27x1-1/4 alloy rims and had strung one up with an ancient Bendix one speed coaster brake. My morning commute at the time started with an incredible downhill that was enough to cause the Bendix brake to fade about halfway down. So I had to ration my brakes and speed in order to survive. Not altogether a good thing. Then I found a Sturmey 3-speed with coaster, which had the habit of seizing upon hard braking, to the point where one of the two axle nuts had to be loosened in order to get going again. Saint Sheldon is saying: "I told you so" here. So I finally got a non coaster Sturmey off of eBay, which is what I'm riding now.
I'd love to see that original drivetrain-- I've never heard of that before! And man, that seat post "solution" really makes you just shake your head. You would think the person doing it would have just paused for one second and asked, "am I really sure this is the approach?"
The cranks used that really weird rounded tapered spline, but thankfully, used standard bottom bracket threads, and I managed to pop in a spare spindle from who knows where. Then, what to do about wheels... I had found some 27x1-1/4 alloy rims and had strung one up with an ancient Bendix one speed coaster brake. My morning commute at the time started with an incredible downhill that was enough to cause the Bendix brake to fade about halfway down. So I had to ration my brakes and speed in order to survive. Not altogether a good thing. Then I found a Sturmey 3-speed with coaster, which had the habit of seizing upon hard braking, to the point where one of the two axle nuts had to be loosened in order to get going again. Saint Sheldon is saying: "I told you so" here. So I finally got a non coaster Sturmey off of eBay, which is what I'm riding now.
Last edited by Gresp15C; 09-24-14 at 05:23 PM.
