That's f'ing awesome.
This is priceless:
"The last items I am including are a National Champion Skin-suit and a bottle of Champagne. I stole the national champion skin-suit from my wife. Sometimes when no one is home I drink a few beers, lower the lights, and gently slip on her skin-suit and stare in the mirror for hours just to feel special. Just pull on the skin-suit and walk around the cyclocross venue in BEND drinking large gulps of cheap Champagne. I promise by the time you finish the entire bottle you will feel like a winner and probably convince yourself to come back next year and race again. Most of the spectators will congratulate you like you’re Katie Compton or Ryan Trebon."