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  1. #1
    Senior Curmudgeon
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    Egronomics of bike shorts

    I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

    Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

    Thanks!

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    Not a silly question at all, FarHorizon. I look forward to some legitimate responses. I'm of sort of the lop-sided persuasion myself, but at times, think there must be a better way.

    Tyson

  3. #3
    Senior Member Dchiefransom's Avatar
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    Leave it down the front.

  4. #4
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Down the front, everything gets evenly divided and is more comfy around the saddle.
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

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    Are we having fun yet? Prosody's Avatar
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    I guess it depends on just how far down the leg you're talking about.
    You're east of East St. Louis
    And the wind is making speeches.

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarHorizon
    . . .

    Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

    Thanks!
    I must admit that I was in my favorite LBS yesterday and a road rider on an Orbea was in. I "Just happened" to notice that he had his up and to his left.

    Husband wears his with the two boys evenly divided and Mr. Happy to his left.

    I guess it is a matter of what is most comfortable to you and if you are uncomfortable with favoring one side, well, I guess you will just have to move "things" around til you are comfortable--but not in public, please.

    God only knows what I look like with my big buns stuffed into spandex!
    I . . can . . . doooo . . . it

  7. #7
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    Yes, foehn, I agree that you are not allowed to move it around in public. After all, moving it around in public is only allowed in baseball.

  8. #8
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Ha Ha, hey if it hurts it gets moved, sorry to the public that bares witness.
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

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    Senior Member
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    And, Shifty, doesn't it sound like foehn is one of those people that likes to bare witness?

  10. #10
    Jim Shapiro
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarHorizon
    I thought I'd ask this question here rather than on the road cycling forum in order to get less flak and a more sober answer. This sounds trivial, maybe even silly, but it isn't. When one wears spandex, padded cycling shorts (sans underwear) should one's privates go down one leg or the other, or be tucked front and center (straight up, so to speak)? I've been riding with the package down one leg or the other, but I find that I don't sit squarely on the saddle, but tend to favor the side - well, you get the picture..

    Since this info isn't in any cycling magazine that I've read, nor in the shorts manufacturer's literature, how is this best dealt with? Enquiring minds want to know

    Thanks!
    Maybe it's just me, but I always wear underwear with any shorts, in which case it's not an issue. Am I in the minority here?

    Jim

  11. #11
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    If you want an amusing angle on this issue look at the blokes in red on this thread. You can see how they vote!

    http://www.cyclingplus.co.uk/forum/t...TOPIC_ID=61486

  12. #12
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    If you want an amusing angle on this issue look at the blokes in red on this thread. You can see how they vote!

    http://tinyurl.com/dg6yc
    Last edited by Labarum; 04-30-05 at 12:34 AM.

  13. #13
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    To many this is not trivial or silly but very serious. If I get off centered the ride can be misrable. I have found that not all bicycle shorts and chamois are created equal. First try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed. There is underwear designed to be worn with bicycle clothing. An extra layer such as rain pants also contribute to the problem. Last but not least try fiddling with your riding position including saddle positioning.
    Phil

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabike
    Yes, foehn, I agree that you are not allowed to move it around in public. After all, moving it around in public is only allowed in baseball.
    Hey, I fogot about baseball--and that reminds me of the infamous Baseball thing done by Roseanne!

    Quote Originally Posted by jabike
    And, Shifty, doesn't it sound like foehn is one of those people that likes to bare witness?
    Does Liking to Bare Witness have anything to do with those Jehovah's people going door-to-door nekkid?
    I . . can . . . doooo . . . it

  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by PALux
    ...try different shorts and maby a size bigger. A little looser fit may be all that is needed.
    Thanks, Phil, but in my looser shorts are where the bulk of the problem lies (no jokes, please..). Things don't stay put with looser shorts and having unnoticed movement while riding can ruin my day. The consensus among the "professional" blokes shown in this thread's photos seems to be "straight-up."

    This brings up the question of involuntary physiological responses. They don't happen often on rides, but they do happen. If the "straight up" option is employed, doesn't this risk some chance of at the least, significant immodesty and at worst, exposure above and beyond the waistband?

    This, again, isn't asked in jest. I'm a newbie & need to know. Thanks

  16. #16
    the dog ate my earbuds KirkeIsWaiting's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarHorizon
    involuntary physiological responses, exposure above and beyond the waistband?


    I'm sorry but I'm laughing about this.....

  17. #17
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    FarHorizon, these are pretty good suggestions, you'll need to try out some positions and see how it goes. Also check out your saddle position so the saddle is not adding to the discomfort, it should be parallel to the ground, or with the front down slightly. Not sure what saddle you ride on, but there are some nice designs these days that are soft in the contact zone, you might look at the options. Good luck
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  18. #18
    Sore saddle cyclist Shifty's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KirkeIsWaiting
    I'm sorry but I'm laughing about this.....
    Is he saying he gets a woodie? Think of the savings on Viagra.
    Those voices in your head aren't real, but they have some great ideas

  19. #19
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    Hey, I fogot about baseball--and that reminds me of the infamous Baseball thing done by Roseanne!
    Does Liking to Bare Witness have anything to do with those Jehovah's people going door-to-door nekkid?
    Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.

  20. #20
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    Oh but to still have those involuntary physiological responses. 21 years in less than pristine military environmet including Vietnam has taken that away from me. Even Viagra is ineffective. You may try bibs for that though. I would still look for the largest chamois in any gear. A buttpack that you can swivel to the front may cover until involuntary response subsides when you stop and get off the bike.

    Many write here laughing but I suspect there are many more in the shadows hoping to solve thier own problem. When over 50 just let the chips fall where they may. A ticket for accidental indecent exposure while riding would be almost as great as a speeding ticket. Pay it and frame it.
    Phil

  21. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by PALux
    ...A buttpack that you can swivel to the front may cover until involuntary response subsides when you stop and get off the bike...
    Sounds like a plan, Phil! And, by the way, THANKS FOR YOUR MILITARY SERVICE! I appreciate those who have served and do serve.

  22. #22
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    Stop this madness! The only way to ride, is to pull them (all three) up, up, up, and high, and keep them there. Bibs shorts are very good for this. Any other position will cause injury.
    ...BUT PAIN DOES NOT MATTER TO A MAN.

  23. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by Road Runner
    Stop this madness! The only way to ride, is to pull them (all three) up, up, up, and high, and keep them there. Bibs shorts are very good for this. Any other position will cause injury.
    And where's the Underwear Nazi when we really need him?

  24. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by jabike
    Hey, foehn, How can one forget Roseanne... By "baring witness" I was simply referring to your readily admitted and duly noted youthful interest that caused you to "just happen" to not be able to keep your eyes off that guy's crotch in the LBS. But you can't be blamed. Most of us guys feel like "eye candy" when we wear our spandex.

    Wellllll, for all the talk about "packages" and who's got what, where and such and in what position and what condition, one would think that youse all would be eager to put out some eye candy ... I mean there are lotsa women who do it for you guys, no?

    And I gotta say I normally don't glance at a guy like that, because I am usually too busy yakking, but this guy . . .well, WELL, lets just say he had reeeeely tight fitting shorts and his chamois must've been pretty nonexistant--or he was dipped in black paint!

    I could never understand why most straight guys cannot handle being eye candy. . .to paraphrase: "all men are good to look at, but some men are better than others!"
    I . . can . . . doooo . . . it

  25. #25
    Senior Curmudgeon
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    Quote Originally Posted by foehn
    ..one would think that youse all would be eager to put out some eye candy ...
    I'd be happy to oblige, but I'm not what you'd want to look at. Thirty years ago, though...

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