rumrunn6

says it's stage 4, metastasized to his spine & liver

he has some kind of medicine pouch on his chest, also just had his 1st round of chemo, more in 21 days

he hasn't given me more info than that, but I have a feeling he will be dead this time next year. anyone with some experience with this?

he's a distant friend from HS and I'm wondering if I should go visit him. i think he is about 58

TimothyH

Go visit.

It will do more good for you than it will for him.

Do it for him anyway.

mprelaw

Go visit, and do it fairly soon.

McBTC

Sounds serious although >1 year may be possible with chemo and radiation...

Biker395 

If he was a good friend, I'd try to visit him. Go soon so you can have some fun together.

Sheez ... I hate this stuff.

jimincalif

Unfortunately lost an employee this way about 18 years ago - just about 12 months from diagnosis to the end. Have a relative who is a physician, she told me at the time that if the recommended course of treatment was just chemo and not surgery, the prognosis was grim - she was right.

That said, there are continuing advances in treatments, and your friend and his doctors haven't given up yet since he is getting chemo, so there's some hope.

Good luck, tough situation for all.

John E

I concur with the "go visit him soon" recommendation. Be there for his family and his other friends, and be there for him, which is something you can't do at a memorial service.

You asked about similar experiences. My father lived seven months after receiving a diagnosis of terminal pancreatic cancer, and my uncle, a lifelong nonsmoker, received a diagnosis of terminal lung cancer a few weeks before my father died. In both cases, respective kids and grandkids made the effort to go visit them, and I think my final talk with my father did him as much good as it did me. My cousins and my brother are likewise glad they did not miss these opportunities.

rumrunn6

thanks guys

qcpmsame 

rr6,
As the others said, go see him, soon, if you wait it will just pass by and then you will lose him. Regret is a crappy thing to tote around, especially this kind. I have had a few friends with lung cancer, none made it to being clear, all died within 2 years, some sooner. The last passed away last November, he put up a really strong fight, but it was not pretty, at all.

And, the pump is most likely a pain med pump, if someone hasn't already said that. If you can, give us just his first name, I want to add him to my prayer list.

Bill

jim_de_hunter

Go visit. Lost a 50-year-old buddy this past summer.

rumrunn6

after just 2 months he is gone. passed away with family around him incl his grand daughter and everyone had their hand on him when he passed. a good way to go if ever there was one. he kept pushing me off, didn't want me to visit, said he was coming up to my area. last picture he sent me was him w his grand daughter on Valentines day. he looked so happy. and after that we exchanged raunchy txts about beautiful women. he and I sold Good Humor ice cream from trucks as a summer job when we were young. life is a gift, hug the ones you're with

Blanchje

I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure your continued communication gave him comfort and happiness. Often times a raunchy joke is the best medicine. It shows you continued to value him for the person he was rather than view him as a body that was failing. Its a challenging thing we are all facing. Our culture and our medical community view death as a disease rather than a natural process. It's so easy to overlook the comfort and dignity of the person in the attack on the disease.

rumrunn6

thanks

BluesDawg

Very sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. When any cancer reaches stage 4, it is a long shot to survive. Glad you were able to share some good times with him before the end.

qcpmsame 

Sorry to hear about your loss, prayers for his family and friends. Thanks for updating us about your friend.

Bill

rumrunn6

it's getting ridiculous how many high school friends are passing away. and when I used a photo of me and this recent friend as a profile picture on facebook in tribute I noticed that 2 years ago another friend that passed away this winter had "liked" it. after driving to NY to see my Mom for her 86th birthday, on my way home to MA I stopped to meet another HS friend for coffee. he's fine, I'm fine ... whew!

John E

Very true. One thoughtful feature of my 45th reunion (Marina High School, Huntington Beach CA, 1968 graduating class of almost 800) was an "in memoriam" sequence of photos of classmates who had departed. I was shocked and surprised by several of the names on the list.

stardognine

Sorry for your loss. What really sucks, is when you hear someone a couple/few years younger than you, has passed. You think they'll easily outlast you, so it has a bit more shock value.

Outnumbered

Sorry to hear of the loss of your dear friend I lost my best friend suddenly when he turned 50. Words spoken in your quote are so true.

Phloom

I lost my father this last year. I spent as much time with my father as he could stand. I knew his end was coming because he would not take his medications. He had a treatable heart condition. I had to choose, nag him about his medications or spend time with him. I decided not to nag. I was very grateful that I did spend the time with him. No regrets.

TiHabanero

In 2000 the youngest in the family died of lung cancer. I was unable to visit him except for one time a few months before he passed. To this day I live with the regret of not visiting him more often. Please, go see him, and see him often. As said before, you will benefit more than you think.