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  1. #1
    Senior Member Raketmensch's Avatar
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    I wore panty hose to dinner tonight

    What does this have to do with cycling, you might reasonably ask?

    Three days ago, I experienced my first high-speed crash. No significant damage to the bike, and no broken bones. But I picked up a lot of road rash. Both elbows (I picked the gravel out with tweezers), and all across my back. Worst, though, was my left hip. Raw meat about six inches across.

    Thursday, I just stayed home and worked over phone lines and the internet in my underwear. Friday I went to work, but the discomfort of a pair of jeans against the bandages was substantial. Interestingly enough, though, riding is fine. The lycra holds everything in place, and the pain is minimal. I did 17 miles the day after the crash, and 35 miles today. No problem.

    So this evening the kids are out of the house, and Ms. Raket and I decide to go out for a nice dinner. This is, unfortunately, not the kind of restaurant you can go to in bike shorts, let alone your underwear. So, living with three women as I do, an idea hit me... panty hose! A lycra-like layer to go over the bandages, and to keep me comfy against the friction of the pants I unfortunately had to wear.

    Well, my cycling brethren, I'm here to tell you... it worked! For those who must know the details, they were Silken Mist, size B, and they got me through the whole dinner in complete comfort. And, I'm pleased to say, Ms. Raket managed to sit through an entire romantic dinner with a man in panty hose without breaking into hysterics.

    So... i f anybody ever tells you that cycling does not lead to completely new and unexpected life experiences, they are definitely wrong!

  2. #2
    In Memory of One Cool Cat Blackberry's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raketmensch
    they were Silken Mist, size B
    R-mensch,

    You are a dude of the highest order and I'm glad it worked for ya. But this is just too much information for a guy like me.
    Dead last finish is better than did not finish and infinitely better than did not start.

  3. #3
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    I'm trying real hard not to draw too clear of a mental picture of this.

    However, congrats on finding some comfort.

  4. #4
    Rides again HiYoSilver's Avatar
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    and your hero is Joe Namath?
    Hi 'o Silver away

  5. #5
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    Quote: "For those who must know the details, they were Silken Mist, size B, and they got me through the whole dinner in complete comfort."

    please don't tell Webb Diego...
    centexwoody
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  6. #6
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by centexwoody
    Quote: "For those who must know the details, they were Silken Mist, size B, and they got me through the whole dinner in complete comfort."

    please don't tell Webb Diego...
    +1

    As my kids would say, that's just a little TMI!

    PS: Glad you're feeling better...
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  7. #7
    Perpetually lost
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    I want you to know that I read this post last night before I went to bed. It was bad night. Very restless, very disturbing dreams. Yes, TMI. Thanks Raket. I shall never be able to walk past the pantyhose section of the stores without thinking of you.
    "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
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  8. #8
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Can't wait until Webb Diego weighs in on this one...
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
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  9. #9
    Banned. George W. Diego's Avatar
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    Before this thread gets completely out of hand, I'd like to assure the American people that I'll soon be introducing a constitutional amendment to ban the wearing of pantihose by men. I will tell you what -- this governating is hard work!

  10. #10
    Banned. Webb Diego's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digital Gee
    Can't wait until Webb Diego weighs in on this one...
    It's been over 24 hours since the original post, and I would've written sooner, but I just pulled my head out of a vomit bucket. Silken Mist, Size B? Did you really have to give us the particulars? Couldn't you just post a picture of a Black Hole in outer space, because, Pal, that's the size of the hole in your soul. Where I come from, a Mensch is a fella who isn't such a bad egg. But son, you are a new breed. When I was in Koe-rea, we traded pantyhose to the local gals for "adult favors." But you, you use them to cover a few sctratches, scratches I'm guessing you never had in the first place. Welcome to the fairly club, my friend. You have lots of company in here.

  11. #11
    Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Digital Gee
    Can't wait until Webb Diego weighs in on this one...
    centexwoody
    They're beautiful handsome machines that translate energy into joy.

  12. #12
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    Back in the '70s, before the advent of lycra tights, quite a few racers, on cold days, would wear pantyhose. Heck with shaved legs, who could tell?
    That is until one of the guys crashed, got up, jumped back on the bike and won the race. He took a ribbing about the big runs in his pantyhose!

  13. #13
    Senior Member NOS88's Avatar
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    When it comes to road rash, I'd wear almost anything to reduce the discomfort. Recently, a riding buddy did a face plant that took a fair amount of skin off his shoulder and elbow. After cleaning, his family doctor put some kind of superglue stuff on it. It formed a clear, flexible barrier that reduced the pain for him considerably. Then in four of five days, the stuff just peeled off and the rash was healing at a very fast rate. Anyone know what this stuff is?

    Just one comment regarding the pantyhose. Anyone who wears lycra shorts and other cycling specific clothes, has a serious problem if he or she has issues with a guy wearing pantyhose. Most of us need to take a long hard look in the mirror when in full gear, before we starting busting on someone who wears pantyhose for any reason.
    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright

  14. #14
    Senior Member
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    boxers or briefs?

    Just one comment regarding the pantyhose. Anyone who wears lycra shorts and other cycling specific clothes, has a serious problem if he or she has issues with a guy wearing pantyhose. Most of us need to take a long hard look in the mirror when in full gear, before we starting busting on someone who wears pantyhose for any reason.

    I've always been attracted to those wearing panty hose - my question is did you wear boxers or briefs under them?
    centexwoody
    They're beautiful handsome machines that translate energy into joy.

  15. #15
    Pinstriper SemperFi's Avatar
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    Glad to see you're in touch with your feminine side.
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  16. #16
    Let's do a Century jppe's Avatar
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    Let's give Raket a break. At least he wore pants for goodness sake. I was waiting to read something MUCH worse but fortunately he rallied and wore something to cover the darn things up.

    Let's just hope he doesn't post in the winter where he has found some new thermal leggings to wear our riding and they are the same "Silky" thing. Hummmm....that might be a really bad sign!!

  17. #17
    Senior Member Old Hammer Boy's Avatar
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    Last time I was into panty hose was in the back seat of my '64 Plymouth Valiant, and they weren't on me!

  18. #18
    Perpetually lost
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    Raket, for a really good time next time you go out, try wearing the pantyhose on your head and down over your face. THAT sure makes for an interesting evening.
    "A life spent making mistakes is not only more honorable, but more useful than a life spent doing nothing."
    George Bernard Shaw

  19. #19
    Let's do a Century jppe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Old Hammer Boy
    Last time I was into panty hose was in the back seat of my '64 Plymouth Valiant, and they weren't on me!
    Raket, for a really good time next time you go out, try wearing the pantyhose on your head and down over your face. THAT sure makes for an interesting evening.

    Poor Raket is really getting abused!!! You have to admit we've got some pretty funny posters out there!! I'm just glad noone has asked what color they were........I'd be worried.

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