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  1. #1
    Senior Member NOS88's Avatar
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    When you get to be my age...

    I can't believe those words came out of my mouth! But they did.

    This morning I'm doing my early, beat the heat ride when I come upon three mid-twenty men. One has a flat. I'm told that it's his fourth flat on this ride. They ask if I have a patch kit. I do, and offer to share it. As things unfold I realize that three of the flats were pinch flats. They were using gas cartridges to inflate the tire and weren't doing a very good job getting it inflated. Next, I offered my pump, since none of them had one. I also realized that the first flat was caused by a pretty big gash in the sidewall. I suggest that they cut one of the tubes (they went through four of them) and use it as a boot inside the tire. The most talkative one says, "How we gonna do that?" I pull out a small pocket knife from my seat bag and offer to do it. He says, "You're a real boy scout, aren't you?" At which point I blurted, "When you get to be my age you learn to prepare for the unexpected and to take care of yourself." All three looked at me like they had just been scolded. My wife says, "No wonder. It was kind of condensending." Then I remembered a few of the times people started a sentence with that phrase while addressing me. Most times it was a put down or some form of being condensending. Oh, well. I've now said another one of those phrases I promised myself I would never say.
    A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking. - S. Wright

  2. #2
    Gone DnvrFox's Avatar
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    Yes, NOS88, but when YOU get to be MY age . . . .
    Gone >> Gone >> Gone >> Gone >> Gone >> Gone >> Gone

  3. #3
    Banned
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    wait 'til you're my age...

  4. #4
    Senior Curmudgeon
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    I'm barely a 50+ forum qualifier, and I already use that phrase!

  5. #5
    Humvee of bikes =Worksman Nightshade's Avatar
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    Hmmmmmm..........It's OK, mate. Young people learn when oldsters
    box their ears for the foolishness of being unprepared. In truth you
    may have saved at least one of them the next time out.

  6. #6
    Senior Member BlazingPedals's Avatar
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    If you're mature enough to be on this forum, then you should be using a REAL patch kit, which should include a big patch. That's for booting a tire. no knife required. I can't believe someone YOUR AGE wouldn't know that!

  7. #7
    Senior Member howsteepisit's Avatar
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    Since I am really just below the cut off for 50+ (I'll offically become a "codger" come October), I usually offer my advise for similar situations as follows: " after I got stranded a few time I started carring more crap with me", this sends the message while making me seem slightly obsesssive. Maybe the obsessive part comes from my caring a large seatbag including a jacket even on my ride yesterday, when it was 93 degrees when I left.
    Recycle, Reclaim, Reuse and Repair
    The 4 Rs to save the planet

    "Toes"

  8. #8
    Senior Member CrossChain's Avatar
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    Chastized by a father figure! How it makes those young guys squirm, especially when their tender egos have been brought up short by an inadequacy or failure. At least you didn't lecture them on proper tire inflation. Or figuring out the problem after their second identical flat.

    Reminds me of the scene in Bambi where the Old Stag of the Woods mysteriously emerges from the forest to counsel the anxious little deer....and then mysteriously disappears (up the road).

    There......see NOS88.....you now have the dignity of age---not the crotchetiness.
    Riding and aging don't get easier, you just get slower at slowing down.] (FiftyPlus observation inspired by G. Lemond.)

  9. #9
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    not allowed to use that phrase

    With 3 teenagers in my house, (2 boys 18, girl 14) the phrases that are described in this thread are an absolute no-no. Not just because their tender adolescent egos are always floating near the surface but because leading off with those phrases typically means their ears shut down.

    A look and silence while I fix something that it didn't occur to them might break typically suffices and they are much more likely to remember next time. Then when it's repaired/fixed/put back the right way, I can look at them, smile and make a 'neutral remark' like "yea, I've had this happen to me before I realized that _____".
    centexwoody
    They're beautiful handsome machines that translate energy into joy.

  10. #10
    Senior Curmudgeon
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    My "patch kit" is a cell phone & a wife with a Scion xB! I might carry a spare tube & pump on a 50+ mile ride, but the "everyday 20" just doesn't rate the trouble.

  11. #11
    Senior Member CrossChain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by FarHorizon
    My "patch kit" is a cell phone & a wife with a Scion xB! .
    That tears it! DG and I are heading for Match.com and scare us up a couple of these "wife" appliances. Apparently, you just plug them in and smile.

    "Honey, my repair stand broke...stand here with your arms out straight and hold this wrench in your teeth while I spin the cranks. What's for dinner?"
    Riding and aging don't get easier, you just get slower at slowing down.] (FiftyPlus observation inspired by G. Lemond.)

  12. #12
    Senior Member
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    you're leaving out the 'opportunity costs' in this presumption of the simple domestic life...
    centexwoody
    They're beautiful handsome machines that translate energy into joy.

  13. #13
    I need more cowbell. Digital Gee's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CrossChain
    That tears it! DG and I are heading for Match.com and scare us up a couple of these "wife" appliances. Apparently, you just plug them in and smile.

    "Honey, my repair stand broke...stand here with your arms out straight and hold this wrench in your teeth while I spin the cranks. What's for dinner?"
    Yeah, but first I gotta know -- what's the best wife frame: alum, TI, steel, or carbon?
    Visit my blog! The Leadership Almanac
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    Proud member of the original Club Tombay

  14. #14
    Senior Member
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    My 1st one was carbon: light but too inflexible, too temperamental, turned too quickly & caused regular falls.

    Finally got smart and my 2nd is STEEL, my Chro-Moly baby, and does she ever cruise!
    centexwoody
    They're beautiful handsome machines that translate energy into joy.

  15. #15
    Senior Member zonatandem's Avatar
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    Dnvr Fox . . . "but when YOU get to be MY age . . . "
    I can't rmember back that far, Fox!
    Am still considered a 'youngster' (at 74), when I ride with one of my friends who's only 88! Yes, and he can hold a 17 mph average for a few miles too.

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