DnvrFox

50+'r Purposefully Hurting Someone in a Post? - Why?

I guess it is just human nature, but why are there always at least 2-3 folks posting in this (and every) forum who seem to get their jollies by purposefully trying to hurt someone else while posting?

I simply do not understand this phenomenon. I hope I am never guilty, and if I am or was, I apologize.

You would think by the time someone is 50 yo, they would have lost those tendencies.

OTOH, by the time most of us are 50+, we know enough to not be too bothered by such posts, and simply ignore them.

But still, I just don't understand it.

My wife speaks of an "alcoholic personality" - something she very much grew up with as a child. There are a couple of folks here, and one in particular on USENET bicycling groups, who seem at times to be recovering from a "binge" when they post. They seem to be in a dark, dark world!

Velo Dog

Some people never get out of high school. If they can make somebody else look bad, then they can convince themselves they're way cooler than they actually are.
For what it's worth, I live and ride in the town where Greg LeMond and Inga Thompson (former Olympic cyclist) grew up and trained. I've met both on the road several times. They were twice as fast as I am, of course, but they were always pleasant, respectful and helpful to me and the people I was with. They didn't NEED to belittle other riders to feel good about their own ability.

genec

Whoa, did you get to ride with them at all... I have always wondered what these super competitors were like in person.

Sounds like they are just regular people, but fast.

dminor 

Hope it isn't me. My comments tend to be smart-alec (read my signature ), but never intentionally hurtful.

CrossChain

dminor....I am self-deputized to say that you are officially cool. "Smart alec" is a vastly different (and valued) organism than hurtful. In fact, anybody who feels the slightest self-doubt is no doubt innocent. This FiftyPlus forum is refreshingly 99% free of unpleasant posters.

Too bad DeeGee is off for a few days or we could blame him just for fun.

Baggsy

Alright, what'd I miss here? Who got uppity with who?

fthomas

I've been amazed and somewhat disappointed at the tenor that I have seen in other threads on this forum. I came to the conclusion that the 50+ bunch are a bit more civil - in all regards - than what I have seen elsewhere. As an example, go out to the Advocacy and Safety thread.

None the less, it is far to easy for some to lob a bomb over the fence in the form of an email or in this case POST with far more vengence than is called for. End results, - flame wars and bad feelings. I have seen little to none of this on this thread and hope that I do not intentionally or unintentionally "hurt someone's feelings".

I've been called names, etc. as a result of a post or two and the names didn't hurt, nor did I get angry or feel hurt. Well, maybe for a split second. But at my age, my memory is really short, haha.

DnvrFox

I probably started something I shouldn't, but here is the post of the moment and CrossChain's response.

Trsnrtr

I have to admit, there are days when reading forums (I read several) that I just feel in a bad mood and go petty on somebody. Oldtimers know it and just shrug it off, but it can be pretty mean to a newcomer or a beginner. I've gotten better over the last 15 years of usenet and www, but it still happens occasionally.

So, having said all of the above, I'd like to ask forgiveness for all of the assinine things I might say in the future.

Dennis

FarHorizon

I'm probably guilty of being "shirty" from time to time, but not so much as it would sound from reading my posts. Writing, as opposed to spoken communication, is by nature more prone to misinterpretation. Since we have no voice tone, no facial expression, and no body posture to help us know when something is meant seriously vs. as humor, we often misconstrue the poster's intent, IMHO. Also, once posted, we can't conveniently abridge or elaborate on our meanings.

I take all "attitudes" on an internet forum with a grain of salt. After all, the poster may have had a really bad day that I don't know about and just be out of sorts. On the other hand, the poster(s) may just be terminally juvenile (see the road cycling forum).

Also, posters (and boy, does this shoe fit...) are just ignorant of what they are posting about. So long as the person is amenable to reason and willing to learn from those who disagree, I see no reason for sarcasm. Others are less charitable. It's OK by me - I have thick skin (matches my thick head, sometimes).

I also appreciate the humor of a really cruel "burn," sometimes. Denver decries this trait, but it is a human one. I've succumbed to the lure of posting like this myself:

Mea culpa.

DnvrFox

Far Horizon - nothing at all wrong with that post. I always get the greatest charge out of those who vociferously complain about someone else's grammer. And, sometimes I comment. When they make the complaint about other's imperfections, they set themselves up for a "likewise" comment.

chipcom 

I want to hurt you all, badly, slowly, and repeatedly. Why? Because you are old and probably all card-carrying members of the AARP bent on putting a buffet on every corner (Hey, that's a good thing!). You can count on me pummel you mercilessly at every opportunity, even if I don't actually write anything, you can bet that I am thinking it. Think of me a Bluto in the movie Popeye, singing "I'm mean, I'm mean, I'm mean..." Have a nice day, FOSSILS!!!

DnvrFox

Do you have some sort of radar or spy system telling you just when to stop harassing the A&S forum and pop into the 50+ forum for a SA remark, pretending you meet the requirements?

50 lashes to you!

FarHorizon

And PROUD OF IT!

mollusk

Chipcom,

If we ever meet let me by the first round of beers.

cyclezealot

Out their in the work world happens every day. I say it has something to do with vanity and insecurity. We all have to get used to it. Also, we have to learn how to cope with it. Usually, striking back only makes them less secure.
Recall, Readinig in National Geographic. An African community, think in Zambia. Forget the name of the tribe. It is against tribal rules to hurt othes. If you do, you are ostercized. You have to leave the group for some period of time. Enough times and you are out of the community. Think I would not mind meeting these people. And they call non westerners primitive.

Little Darwin

While I understand the position of this thread, I simply have to say that the things that we in the 50+ forum see as attacking would not even be noticed in most other forums.

I do think that it would be an interesting exercise to figure ut an effective way to self-police, and perhaps a thread like this is the ticket. Kind of a reminder to all of us to be clear and kind in our interaction.

Thanks for raising the issue DnvrFox.

DnvrFox

Yes, the general tenor of the 50+ forum is so great, that a post like the one I referenced really stands out. And as CrossChain points out, this isn't the first time for this particular poster, There is a long history going back several years.

AshevilleFusion

Holy crap! With a blender?

(just kidding - you should see my [uncorrected] typing first thing in the morning!)

- Dave, still working on socialization skills despite numerous "blind spots" (see profile)

Monoborracho

As a part time brain surgeon I'm glad to offer up my service....free lobotomies for mean people.

Any takers?

....novocaine, schmovocaine...just grit your teeth for a minute.....

lhbernhardt

OK, so I am now an official card-carrying member of the 50+ Forum. So when do I get to become a cantankerous old curmudgeon? I thought one of the perks of being >50 was the right to browbeat the little rugrats...

"Now Lance, he's OK, but being a little wet between the ears, ya wouldn't know that bike racing today is nothing like it was in the old days. Why, I remember back in my time when bike racers were Real Men, like Charly Gaul. One time he lost over 10 minutes on one Alpine stage, and everybody thought he'd lost the Tour! But do ya know what he did? He took off on the very first climb the very next day and rode by himself - over three or four major mountain passes - all the way to the finish line, and he came to within a few minutes of the leader, Raphael Geminiani. And then Charly beat him by over three minutes in the final time trial and won the 1958 Tour! Too bad they don't make riders like that anymore these days, ya little shrimp!"

I'm always amused by harsh criticism because I have found that the criticism says more about the critic than about the target of the criticism.

- L.

RockyMtnMerlin

If you want to see really nasty people go over to the forum at the Daily Peloton. I used to post over there but gave up after a couple of months. Much, much nicer here.

megaman

While I've been a SA and have disagreed with some posters(none on this forum that I remember), normally that happens only if I'm slammed first. I haven't strayed over to the A&S forum for a while, but as of late I'm noticing a tendency in the other forums to be a lot nicer than a couple of years ago.
When BROL went down last winter, a number of posters started posting on the bent forum. This included Bryan Ball himself. It turns out he had a "stalker". He was attacked instantly. One of the mods apoligized(sp?) to him about that. Anyway, on one of the other boards that I post on, it was stated that BF was a nasty place. That irritated me, but I said nothing cause that board has a number of long time posters that dominate the place. She was one of those long time posters and being new there I wasn't interested in being shunned.

centexwoody 

You're the moderator & you are free to set the 'tone': a number of the other forums have 'trolls' that take their jollies from being snide or pernicious in their remarks.

As a 'relative' newbie, I'd like to think I know my place (!). Certainly most of the technical subjects discussed here I am too ignorant to participate in. One lesson I've learned with e-mails & electronic communication is that if I compose a truly fiery response to someone, it is best to let it sit, oftentimes overnight, because the light of a fresh day illumines the post for its true tone, a tone that does not communicate in any manner that I would take if I were actually face-to-face with that person.

The Tour de France forum was truly inflammatory during this year's race with Coffee Brown having to step squarely in the middle of postings to calm & state the rules & protocols. Dnvr, do not hesitate to bring up these issues now or in the future...

Tom

will dehne

Somewhere, someone said that as a person gets older he/she gets less certain of facts.
I have seen that in the different forum, where a student thinks he knows some subject for certain, takes a very aggressive stance on that certitude. (only to see that it is wrong)
Biking issues are often subject to what I like to call "Butterfly Effect."
Small variances cause great differences in outcome.
I just done reading the book of Lance Armstrong War. It was full of that.