'Twas the night before the Ride for the Pie
And all through the house,
Not a cyclist was stirring,
Nor clicking his mouse.
The bike was set by the door with care
In hopes that daylight soon would be there
I was nestled and snug in my bed
While visions of pastry danced in my head.
When out on the street there arose such a clatter
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The moon overhead gave off such a glow
It was practically mid-day on objects below.
What to my wondering eyes should appear
But a pelaton of cyclists each with a beer.
More rapid than eagles these bikes they came
Guys whistling and shouting and calling my name.
"DeeGee you knucklehead you 50+ phart
Get your piehole out here -- it's time to start!"
I ran back to my bedroom and jumped in some clothes
A teeshirt and shorts and what else Heaven knows
I thought of coffee -- wished I had some joe
But the group kept yellin' it was time to go.
So I tossed a wallet, the cell and my keys
Into the saddlebag with ease
Grabbed a bottle of water cold from the fridge
I'd probably need it when we hit the ridge.
And sooner than the blink of an eye
I was off and out -- Riding for pie!
The miles flew by under the the moon that night
The group of us must have been quite a sight.
We rode, and we rode, and we rode some more
'Till we'd put twenty miles from my front door.
The sun had just begun to show its face
When someone cried "There's Irma's place!"
I'd ridden this route countless times before
But I never saw Irma's compelling front door.
'Twas a vision of culinary delight
A diner with scrumptious pies to bite!
We took every seat there was to be had
And traded stories about bikes gone bad
And sooner than you can say "oh me, oh my!"
Irma was bringing us all some pie.
I've lived over half a hundred year
I've had great meals and unbelievable beer
And never, in all that time, I must say,
Have I tasted a pie that tasted that way.
Words can't capture that taste so sublime
Bite after bite, time after time.
We stuffed our faces 'till we nearly burst
No one was able to stand, at first.
But at last with the sun up so high
We mounted our bikes and heaved a sigh
We turned for home and began to ride
One after the other, some side by side.
Our Ride for the Pie was a huge success
We forgave ourselves of our dietary excess
And vowed to return the very next year
From two counties over you could hear us cheer.
Then suddenly -- maddeningly I head a buzz
I couldn't for the life of me figure what it was
But the noise continued until my hand
Reached over for the alarm clock on the night stand.
It was time to awake and time to arise
Time to wipe the sleep from my eyes
Time to drink some coffee and eat a breakfast bar
Time to Ride for the Pie -- fifteen miles ain't far!