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Old 10-13-07, 08:28 PM   #1
DnvrFox
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You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
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Old 10-13-07, 08:57 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
This skill does NOT endear me to my wife.
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Old 10-13-07, 09:38 PM   #3
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Old 10-14-07, 01:35 AM   #4
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DnVr
Your spending too much time on the net. And I have to delay my ride now till I stop laughing.
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Old 10-14-07, 10:09 AM   #5
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I was just relishing the ability to be a kid again yesterday and perform #1....multiple times. Could be starting to like it instead of tolerate it. Sick. I don't get kudos around home about that either.
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Old 10-15-07, 07:00 PM   #6
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How About....

You bring your water bottle to dinner at a fine restaurant?
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Old 10-15-07, 07:19 PM   #7
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You regularly lie to your wife about how much you spent on those bike parts. bk
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Old 10-15-07, 09:19 PM   #8
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You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

A "quickie" these days means a short bike ride.
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Old 10-15-07, 10:05 PM   #9
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All I can say is
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Old 10-15-07, 11:49 PM   #10
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You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

A "quickie" these days means a short bike ride.
Bwahahahaha!

Sorry, had a "mind in the gutter" moment.
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Old 10-16-07, 12:16 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
Hilarious! And accurate (except I can't relate to the bar-end extenders) (or the heart-valve replacements) (or the...oh, well, nevermind).

Thanks for the laugh!
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Old 10-16-07, 09:10 AM   #12
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You know you're a 50+'5 addicted to cycling when: your mother-in-law observes that it is easy to buy clothes for you, because your shirt and trouser sizes have not changed since she first met you almost 40 years ago.

I recall that meeting well. My parents and I had driven to La Jolla to meet my college freshman girlfriend's family. My future mother-in-law's first words were, to my mother: "How long did it take you to make your husband go bald?" I keep telling my sons not to get too attached to their hair, since both of their grandfathers went bald in their late 20s.
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