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  1. #1
    Banned. DnvrFox's Avatar
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    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

    9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

    8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

    7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

    6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

    5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

    4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

    3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

    2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

    AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

    1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.

  2. #2
    Old Road Racer Cleave's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
    http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

    9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

    8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

    7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

    6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

    5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

    4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

    3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

    2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

    AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

    1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
    This skill does NOT endear me to my wife.
    Thanks.
    Cleave
    "Real men wear pink."
    See my cycling photos at http://www.pbase.com/cleavel/bicycling
    See my bikes at http://www.pbase.com/cleavel/mybicycles
    Visit my blog at http://cleavesblant.wordpress.com/
    Lightning Velo Cycling Club: http://www.lightningvelo.org/

  3. #3
    Yen
    Yen is offline
    Surly Girly Yen's Avatar
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    Specialized Roubaix Expert
    Surly Long Haul Trucker

  4. #4
    Time for a change. stapfam's Avatar
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    DnVr
    Your spending too much time on the net. And I have to delay my ride now till I stop laughing.
    How long was I in the army? Five foot seven.


    Spike Milligan

  5. #5
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    I was just relishing the ability to be a kid again yesterday and perform #1....multiple times. Could be starting to like it instead of tolerate it. Sick. I don't get kudos around home about that either.

  6. #6
    Senior Member FrankieV's Avatar
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    How About....

    You bring your water bottle to dinner at a fine restaurant?

  7. #7
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    You regularly lie to your wife about how much you spent on those bike parts. bk

  8. #8
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    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    A "quickie" these days means a short bike ride.

  9. #9
    Senior Member RockyMtnMerlin's Avatar
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    All I can say is

  10. #10
    Don't mince words Red Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Louis View Post
    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    A "quickie" these days means a short bike ride.
    Bwahahahaha!

    Sorry, had a "mind in the gutter" moment.
    When my feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, *****, she's awake!"

    Visit my blog.

  11. #11
    Don't mince words Red Rider's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
    http://www.jokesnjokes.net/funny.jok...ycling.001.htm

    You Know You're a 50+'r Addicted To Cycling When...

    10. Your surgeon tells you you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between presta and schrader.

    9. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn't refer to the latest Playboy centerfold, but that new gear ratio you were considering for your Cobra.

    8. A Power Bar starts tasting better than a Snickers.

    7. The bra your significant other finds in your glove compartment belongs to your Trek and not the cute waitress at Denny's.

    6. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.

    5. The funeral director tells you "NO!" you can't ride your Cannondale in the funeral procession, even if you keep your headlight on.

    4. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.

    3. You're too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.

    2. Your wife tells you the only way she'll let you ride across the country is over her dead body and you tell her, "If that's the case, you'll be my first speed bump!"

    AND the number-one reason you know you're addicted to bicycling...

    1. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
    Hilarious! And accurate (except I can't relate to the bar-end extenders) (or the heart-valve replacements) (or the...oh, well, nevermind).

    Thanks for the laugh!
    When my feet hit the floor in the morning, Satan shudders and says, "Oh, *****, she's awake!"

    Visit my blog.

  12. #12
    feros ferio John E's Avatar
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    You know you're a 50+'5 addicted to cycling when: your mother-in-law observes that it is easy to buy clothes for you, because your shirt and trouser sizes have not changed since she first met you almost 40 years ago.

    I recall that meeting well. My parents and I had driven to La Jolla to meet my college freshman girlfriend's family. My future mother-in-law's first words were, to my mother: "How long did it take you to make your husband go bald?" I keep telling my sons not to get too attached to their hair, since both of their grandfathers went bald in their late 20s.
    "Early to bed, early to rise. Work like hell, and advertise." -- George Stahlman
    Capo [dschaw'-poe]: 1959 Modell Campagnolo, S/N 40324; 1960 Sieger, S/N 42624
    Peugeot: 1970 UO-8, S/N 0010468
    Bianchi: 1981 Campione d'Italia, S/N 1.M9914
    Schwinn: 1988 Project KOM-10, S/N F804069

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