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Old 01-11-08, 06:49 AM   #1
DnvrFox
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A Bit More of an Explanation

A Bit More of an Explanation

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Originally Posted by stonecrd
+1, this like the 3rd or 4th time now that we have had people leave the forum for no reason that I can see. Clearly the problem with written vs verbal communication is an issue in all forums which is why emoticons came about to begin with. When you are writing though, you know your intent and you may assume that anyone reading would as well and leave the smiley off. In any event I always give people the benefit of the doubt and assume a smiley even if it does not exist.
I feel I owe the 50+ Forum a bit more explanation. The specific remarks in the "What is Your Life Situation" poll and thread, although a factor, were not the main reason I am taking a break from the forum for a bit.

For some time now I have been feeling a "misfit" between who I am and what I want from a forum and the current direction, "personality," and content of the 50+ forum.

Now, I firmly believe that a forum is the sum of its parts and membership. In other words, I don't believe there is anything I can (or better, should) do to try and influence the direction of the forum. The forum (and its evolution) is a given. I am a given. When those two "givens" no longer match, then something has to "give" (so to speak) and that "give" will be my taking a break for some undefined period.

I have been participating in some other forums, and find a lot of 50+'rs who have not joined in the 50+ forum, and some who have quietly left. I likely should have left quietly - just stolen off into the night, and I sort of regret that I didn't.

BTW, there is never "no reason."

I wish you ALL the very best!

I hope to see you on some of the other forums.

Last edited by DnvrFox; 01-11-08 at 08:10 AM.
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Old 01-11-08, 08:07 AM   #2
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Aloha!
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Old 01-11-08, 08:34 AM   #3
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holy crap drama



this is Bike Forums, not PsychForums

get over it and ride
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Old 01-11-08, 09:02 AM   #4
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holy crap drama



this is Bike Forums, not PsychForums

get over it and ride
Come on now. Stop messing about say what you think.
Seriously though we are all allowed to have an opinion. Although EDZOs is more of an insult.

Jim.
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Old 01-11-08, 09:16 AM   #5
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Denver, I am sorry to see you go. I enjoy the 50+ forum, and I am thankful to you for starting it. Our members have discussed a number of issues which are important primarily to others in our age group.
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Old 01-11-08, 10:12 AM   #6
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Now see, misfits is exactly my problem. My FD is a misfit on my Peugeot. I can't make it fit. It's driving ME fits. I thought the 50+ Forum was a great fit for misfits!

Good luck, Dnvr, wherever you go. Come back and brag about your ride your age ride and inspire us with your stories about your wife and choir and stuff.

And whatever happens, eat pie.
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Old 01-11-08, 10:41 AM   #7
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Happy riding, Dnvr!
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Old 01-11-08, 12:42 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DnvrFox View Post
A Bit More of an Explanation



I likely should have left quietly - just stolen off into the night, and I sort of regret that I didn't.

BTW, there is never "no reason."

I wish you ALL the very best!

I hope to see you on some of the other forums.
Sometimes I think leaving quietly is NOT the way to go. Sometimes groups need a jolt, if for no other reason than to cause a bit of self-examination.

I must say I was surprised to read this post. I stopped following the thread on which the ill feelings took root, and didn't know these feelings existed. I stopped reading the thread when it stated to feel more like instant messaging than a discussion forum thread. And, that's been something that frustrates me. It is clear that there is an informal group (which changes in membership overtime) that communicates with one another much more frequently than others do on this forum. My observation has been that this group tends to be more likely to poke fun (not mean spirited in my view) at one another. Perhaps it is my lack of understanding, but I've always wondered why this kind of stuff doesn't take place in a format like instant messaging instead of a forum. Sometimes a thread will evolve in such a manner that it seems like a private conversation between "those in the loop". In any event, there have been times, despite a healthy number of posts on my part, where I've felt like an outsider. However, I'm 56 years old and still ride a bicycle. So, I'm a bit used to being an outsider in most places. I also know there are differing levels of sensitivity for folks who participate. One's current life experience can increase or decrease the threshold for feeling insulted, hurt, etc. My only hope is that Dnvr. will find his way to a spot that matches what he needs right now and that at some point that will include the 50+ group again.
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Old 01-11-08, 01:40 PM   #9
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Sometimes the banter does get tiresome, but in most cases it reinforces the camaraderie among us. 50+ remains my favorite forum, and the one that has benefitted me most.
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Old 01-11-08, 03:37 PM   #10
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Dnver, remember that anyone can critique but very few can create or originate. Whatever you decide to do, this forum was a great idea and I thank you. Good luck and do not be a stranger.
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Old 01-11-08, 03:48 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally Posted by BSLeVan View Post
Sometimes I think leaving quietly is NOT the way to go. Sometimes groups need a jolt, if for no other reason than to cause a bit of self-examination.

In any event, there have been times, despite a healthy number of posts on my part, where I've felt like an outsider.
I sure hope no one feels like an outsider ever. I guess I'm part of the problem, since I sure go off-topic a lot. But the truth is that I really don't have much to offer in regards to long rides or technical issues, so I'm just kind of more focused on the people here. There are some which are clearly open for light-hearted banter, and others whom I don't know well enough to be that familiar with. I don't know that it would be welcome!

I was a BBSer before the internet forums became popular, and it really was more of a group IM situation back then, so I know I'm more lax with the rules than I should be.

I guess, to be honest, I hadn't realized that I was breaking protocol in any way. To me, it kind of depends on the thread. There are threads in which one needs to be serious, and there are light hearted threads. I think it's the ones in the middle that cause me confusion. I'm actually a very inclusive person, though, so it would make me feel bad if my joking around alienated anyone.

Sorry. We're not going to have a situation here where I'm voted off the island, are we?
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Old 01-11-08, 04:02 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by solveg View Post

Sorry. We're not going to have a situation here where I'm voted off the island, are we?
We already did that, but Tom refused to leave.
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Old 01-11-08, 04:10 PM   #13
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Dnvr, an internet forum like this is an open, free-flowing anarchic thing. Anyone can post whatever they want. It has no direction and really no purpose except to let people interact however they choose to interact. No one person controls it and there is no need for everyone to share the same reasons for being there. Having some kind of expectations of what it should be like, or "wants" from it, as you put it, you're bound to be disappointed. It's like a bus full of random people who have decided to chat as they roll across country. Some will be ones you have something in common with and will chat about stuff you're interested in and some are going to be people that irritate or bore you, so just tune them out. People will get on and off the bus all the time - it's no big deal.

Why not just interact with the people or threads that interest you, and don't sweat whatever else is going on?
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Old 01-11-08, 05:16 PM   #14
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I don't participate as much as some here, but that is what I am comfortable with. I come here several times a week, for inspiration and information, and always feel well rewarded for having dropped by. Dnvrfox, I have always enjoyed your posts, have fun doing what you want.
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Old 01-11-08, 07:43 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Paulie View Post

And don't get me started on the civility in here. There's nothing like it anywhere in cycling that I've seen. Anyone who complains about the tone in 50 Plus needs a reality check, or needs to move on.
When BP weighs in on an issue, people should listen.

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Old 01-11-08, 08:15 PM   #16
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Thank you or submitting your resignation.
On careful consideration we has decided not to accept it at this time.
Please be at your station at the usual time.

that is all.
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Old 01-11-08, 08:32 PM   #17
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I, too, am one of those who can't fix her own bike and 12 miles is a really good ride for me. So, your posts and threads are interesting, inspiring and don't make me feel like I don't belong here. I will miss them and you.
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Old 01-11-08, 09:09 PM   #18
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See, I deleted my post because I was trying to be good, but now I've left my good buddy Big Paulie hanging! Go ahead! Boot me off the island! At least I'll go with a smile! So here it is...

ME TOO!

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Old 01-11-08, 09:10 PM   #19
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You go somewhere and they are talking about you or your family you should and are in the conversation. OTHERWISE you can walk away, turn a deaf ear, ignore, move on, or do something else that you feel will provide you with a life. Did AMF make bicycles?
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Old 01-11-08, 09:14 PM   #20
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I think the original idea for this group was to cater to 50+ers who were just getting into cycling, or returning to cycling after a long hiatus. Even if we met those criteria when we started, I think it's natural to expect we'd all become experienced after a while! (Sorry, the age thing is unlikely to get turned back though.) So the list matures and evolves, whether we want it to or not.
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Old 01-11-08, 09:15 PM   #21
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Thank you!

Theres no point in holding back any longer, Solveg. Between you, DG and myself, it's only a matter of time before we join The Diegos in 50 Plus Bike Forum purgatory...

But, I LIKE it here. I don't want* to be naughty. I just can't help it.
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Old 01-11-08, 09:25 PM   #22
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I think the original idea for this group was to cater to 50+ers who were just getting into cycling, or returning to cycling after a long hiatus. Even if we met those criteria when we started, I think it's natural to expect we'd all become experienced after a while! (Sorry, the age thing is unlikely to get turned back though.) So the list matures and evolves, whether we want it to or not.
Speaking for myself, I sensed a desire for a more mature dialog about cycling when 50 Plus started.

Stuff like that really irritates me, so I joined up and started posting!

Seriously, I already miss Denver Fox, and hope his wisdom and patience once again graces these pages. For him, cycling is so therapeudic, it's spritiual in nature. I think that describes it for a lot of us, too!
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Old 01-11-08, 09:40 PM   #23
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Anyone know Monica Diego's AIM number?
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Old 01-11-08, 09:46 PM   #24
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The only possible outcome is that you, me and DG will end up in rocking chairs, banned from every bike forum on earth, PM-ing each other, and wondering why we're still alive...
You guys don't have to worry about being banned; you guys are tame. You may be goofy, but you are not insulting or mean.

Like somebody mentioned, forums are ever-changing and diverse. We can't always be serious and shouldn't be. As for people being nasty, this forum is genteel; visit some of the other forums!
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Old 01-12-08, 12:41 AM   #25
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