Advertise on Bikeforums.net



User Tag List

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 65
  1. #1
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

    I'm tired of FEB! A little humour please!


  2. #2
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    THE THREE STAGES OF A MAN'S LIFE, PART 1: SINGLE



    THE THREE STAGES OF A MAN'S LIFE, PART 2: MARRIED



    THE THREE STAGES OF A MAN'S LIFE, PART 3: DIVORCED



    (joke courtesy of a happily married male friend of mine)
    Last edited by solveg; 02-27-08 at 07:32 AM.

  3. #3
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Just for you, an extra day will be placed in February. Like daylight savings time, the extra day may be made permanent.

    1. Employers will be able to obtain more productivity from salary employees.
    2. There will be 4 extra hours of daylight in February (good for energy savings)
    3. Presidential Elections will be held every year instead of every 4 years..............................................................................that's for the extra humor you wanted.

  4. #4
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Leap day
    Main article: Leap Day
    The Gregorian calendar is a modification of the Julian calendar first used by the Romans. The Roman calendar originated as a lunisolar calendar and named many of its days after the syzygies of the moon: the new moon (Kalendae or calends, hence "calendar") and the full moon (Idus or ides). The Nonae or nones was not the first quarter moon but was exactly one nundinae or Roman market week of nine days before the ides, inclusively counting the ides as the first of those nine days. In 1825, Ideler believed that the lunisolar calendar was abandoned about 450 BC by the decemvirs, who implemented the Roman Republican calendar, used until 46 BC. The days of these calendars were counted down (inclusively) to the next named day, so 24 February was ante diem sextum Kalendas Martii ("the sixth day before the calends of March") often abbreviated a. d. VI Kal. Mar. The Romans counted days inclusively in their calendars, so this was actually the fifth day before March 1 when counted in the modern exclusive manner (not including the starting day).[4]

    The Republican calendar's intercalary month was inserted on the first or second day after the Terminalia (a. d. VII Kal. Mar., February 23). The remaining days of Februarius were dropped. This intercalary month, named Intercalaris or Mercedonius, contained 27 days. The religious festivals that were normally celebrated in the last five days of February were moved to the last five days of Intercalaris. Because only 22 or 23 days were effectively added, not a full lunation, the calends and ides of the Roman Republican calendar were no longer associated with the new moon and full moon.

    The Julian calendar, which was developed in 46 BC by Julius Caesar, and became effective in [[45 BC], distributed an extra ten days among the months of the Roman Republican calendar. Caesar also replaced the intercalary month by a single intercalary day, located where the intercalary month used to be. To create the intercalary day, the existing ante diem sextum Kalendas Martii (February 24) was doubled, producing ante diem bis sextum Kalendas Martii. Hence, the year containing the doubled day was a bissextile (bis sextum, "twice sixth") year. For legal purposes, the two days of the bis sextum were considered to be a single day, with the second half being intercalated, but common practice by 238, when Censorinus wrote, was that the intercalary day was followed by the last five days of February, a. d. VI, V, IV, III and pridie Kal. Mar. (which would be those days numbered 24, 25, 26, 27, and 28 from the beginning of February in a common year), i.e. the intercalated day was the first half of the doubled day. All later writers, including Macrobius about 430, Bede in 725, and other medieval computists (calculators of Easter), continued to state that the bissextum (bissextile day) occurred before the last five days of February.

    Until 1970, the Roman Catholic Church always celebrated the feast of Saint Matthias on a. d. VI Kal. Mar., so if the days were numbered from the beginning of the month, it was named February 24 in common years, but the presence of the bissextum in a bissextile year immediately before a. d. VI Kal. Mar. shifted the latter day to February 25 in leap years, with the Vigil of St. Matthias shifting from February 23 to the leap day of February 24. Other feasts normally falling on February 25–28 in common years are also shifted to the following day in a leap year (although they would be on the same day according to the Roman notation). The practice is still observed by those who use the older calendars.


    I added this for humor too. I had been under the mistaken impression that our system of government was somewhat cumbersome. It would appear though that our bureaucracy has merely adopted some of the old ways, not all.

    Most importantly, for those of you with good weather, you get an extra day to ride. (thus putting this whole thread back on topic.

  5. #5
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Wow. That gave me a headache. Now I'm even more* tired of February.

    However. 2 weeks and 2 days until Kansas!

  6. #6
    His Brain is Gone! Tom Bombadil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Paoli, Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    RANS Stratus, Bridgestone CB-1, Trek 7600, Sun EZ-Rider AX, Fuji Absolute 1.0, Cayne Rambler 3
    Posts
    9,980
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    I'm too depressed from all of cold, snow, and ice to be funny.

    And our 15-day forecast is not doing me any good.

    March 6: Hi-27, Lo-10
    March 7: Hi-27, Lo-17
    March 8: Hi-28, Lo-19

    Then it warms up a bit on March 10: Hi-40, Lo-23 but will be cloudy and rainy.

    Winter will not relax its cold, icy grip on us. The warmest temp we've hit in the entire month of February was 34. Even places that are considered to be cold, like Rochester NY, has had 10 days of 35+, with a high of 53. When Rochester starts sounding like a warm place to move to, you know you've had your fill of winter.
    "Too often I would hear men boast of the miles covered that day, rarely of what they had seen." Louis L'Amour

    There are two types of road bikers: bikers who are faster than me, and me. Bruce Cameron - Denver Post

  7. #7
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Weren't you in Florida just a short time ago?

  8. #8
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    N. California
    Posts
    1,412
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    OK. Time to give up my favorite joke:

    A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says: "Why the long face?"

  9. #9
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Posts
    4,259
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by Tom Bombadil View Post
    I'm too depressed from all of cold, snow, and ice to be funny.

    And our 15-day forecast is not doing me any good.

    March 6: Hi-27, Lo-10
    March 7: Hi-27, Lo-17
    March 8: Hi-28, Lo-19

    Then it warms up a bit on March 10: Hi-40, Lo-23 but will be cloudy and rainy.

    Winter will not relax its cold, icy grip on us. The warmest temp we've hit in the entire month of February was 34. Even places that are considered to be cold, like Rochester NY, has had 10 days of 35+, with a high of 53. When Rochester starts sounding like a warm place to move to, you know you've had your fill of winter.
    Be sure to bring your shovel! We got 9 inches of "Lake Effect" last
    night from that last storm you sent our way and it's 16 degrees F. Only 80 inches for the season though.
    It has been a gentle winter this year.
    Last edited by cranky old dude; 02-27-08 at 09:16 AM.

  10. #10
    www.ocrebels.com Rick@OCRR's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Whittier, CA
    My Bikes
    GT Edge Titanium, Mercian Vincitore, Masi Gran Criterium, GT Zaskar, Hercules 3-Speed
    Posts
    5,129
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    We've had three days of 70+ and sunshine, so I've been able to ride after work every day this week! All those days of rain and 60 deg.F highs were really wearing on me.

    Good to be back to the 70's again! Feb. in SoCal isn't so bad after all. Yes, the Tour de CA racers had a bad week, but at least they got paid for it.

    Rick / OCRR

  11. #11
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    More jokes, less bemoaning!!!!

  12. #12
    Senior Member ?? Beverly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Englewood,Ohio
    My Bikes
    2007 Trek Madone 5.0 WSD - 2007 Trek 4300 WSD - 2008 Trek 520
    Posts
    5,090
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Since we've had a lot of discussions on cats lately........
    Last edited by Beverly; 03-17-08 at 07:28 AM.
    =============================================================
    My cancer updates:
    https://www.mylifeline.org/beverlyow...=myupdates.cfm

    Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
    -- Antonio Smith

  13. #13
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    "Cat" astrophic thinking was a different thread. This one's about extracting humor from a dark, cold and snow covered world that will still be dark, cold and snow covered tomorrow. Back in the summer we were hearing from everyone concerned with Global Warming.

    See...........doesn't that feel better?

  14. #14
    Senior Member ?? Beverly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Englewood,Ohio
    My Bikes
    2007 Trek Madone 5.0 WSD - 2007 Trek 4300 WSD - 2008 Trek 520
    Posts
    5,090
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Quote Originally Posted by maddmaxx View Post
    "Cat" astrophic thinking was a different thread. This one's about extracting humor from a dark, cold and snow covered world that will still be dark, cold and snow covered tomorrow.

    See...........doesn't that feel better?
    The weather is being to look better in my part of the world

    Highs in the 30's and 40's are predicted a few days in the upcoming week. Now if it will NOT rain I will be happier.
    =============================================================
    My cancer updates:
    https://www.mylifeline.org/beverlyow...=myupdates.cfm

    Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you may look back and realize they were the big things.
    -- Antonio Smith

  15. #15
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    Tamarack, California
    Sierra Nevada record snowfall during one season:
    884 inches (73.7 feet) 1906-07 5

    No wonder they rode highwheels back then

  16. #16
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Location
    S.E. Pennsylvania, USA
    Posts
    1,737
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    One of my favorite cycling jokes:

    A avid cyclist dies, goes to heaven, and is met at the gate by Saint Peter. The cyclist asks if there are bicycles in heaven. Saint Peter says "Oh, yeah, let me show you," and leads the cyclist into the fanciest, smoothest velodrome ever seen. "This is great," the cyclist says. "Indeed" says Peter. "You will be fitted a custom track bike, the mechanics will glue on fresh silks each night, and your personal masseuse is will be waiting after each training session." Just then a blur shoots past them riding a gold plated Colnago and the cyclist says "Wow he was fast, that must be Eddy Merck!" "No," says Peter, "that was God, he only thinks he's Eddy".
    Last edited by BSLeVan; 02-27-08 at 09:53 AM.
    Oh I used to be disgusted and now I try to be amused. But since their wings have got rusted, you know, the angels wanna wear my red shoes. But when they told me 'bout their side of the bargain, that's when I knew that I could not refuse. And I won't get any older, now the angels wanna wear my red shoes.

  17. #17
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    A tandem rider is stopped by a police car. "What've I done, officer?" asks the rider.
    "Perhaps you didn't notice sir, but your wife fell off your bike half a mile back . . ."
    "Oh, thank God for that," says the rider - "I thought I'd gone deaf!"

  18. #18
    Senior Member gcottay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Green Valley AZ
    My Bikes
    Trice Q; Volae Century; TT 3.4
    Posts
    3,772
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    An old joke slightly modified because of my smart wife's hair color:

    Sally and her Blond Husband

    Sally and her husband live just west of Chicago, Illinois. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Sally's husband goes out and moves her car.

    A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."

    Sally's wonderful blond husband goes out and moves her car again.

    The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park..........." then the electric power goes out.

    Sally's husband is very upset, and with a worried look on his face he says, "Honey, I don't know what to do." Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?

    With the love and understanding of all women who appreciate the men in their lives, Sally says, "Sweetheart, why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
    George
    Laissez les bon temps rouler

  19. #19
    Small Member maddmaxx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2003
    My Bikes
    Leader home built hardtail, Diamondback Response
    Posts
    7,044
    Mentioned
    1 Post(s)
    Tagged
    1 Thread(s)
    There you go Solveg..........a sampling of some various forms of humor.............we now return your station to its regular programming.

  20. #20
    His Brain is Gone! Tom Bombadil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Paoli, Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    RANS Stratus, Bridgestone CB-1, Trek 7600, Sun EZ-Rider AX, Fuji Absolute 1.0, Cayne Rambler 3
    Posts
    9,980
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Two tourists were driving through Wisconsin. As they were approaching Oconomowoc, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town’s name. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.

    As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?”

    The checker leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrr gerrrrrr Kiiiing.”

  21. #21
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)

  22. #22
    His Brain is Gone! Tom Bombadil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Paoli, Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    RANS Stratus, Bridgestone CB-1, Trek 7600, Sun EZ-Rider AX, Fuji Absolute 1.0, Cayne Rambler 3
    Posts
    9,980
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Two Norwegian hunters from Minnesota got a pilot to fly them to Canada to hunt moose. They bagged six. As they started loading the plane for the return trip, the pilot said the plane could take only four moose.

    The two lads objected strongly, "Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board and he had the same plane as yours." Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. However, even on full power, the little plane couldn't handle the load and went down a few moments after takeoff.

    Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, "Any idea where we are?"

    "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed last year."

  23. #23
    His Brain is Gone! Tom Bombadil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Paoli, Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    RANS Stratus, Bridgestone CB-1, Trek 7600, Sun EZ-Rider AX, Fuji Absolute 1.0, Cayne Rambler 3
    Posts
    9,980
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Ole and Lena got married.

    On their honeymoon trip they were nearing Minneapolis when Ole put his hand on Lena's knee.

    Giggling, Lena said, "Ole, you can go a little farther now if ya vant to" ... so Ole drove to Duluth.

  24. #24
    His Brain is Gone! Tom Bombadil's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    Paoli, Wisconsin
    My Bikes
    RANS Stratus, Bridgestone CB-1, Trek 7600, Sun EZ-Rider AX, Fuji Absolute 1.0, Cayne Rambler 3
    Posts
    9,980
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Ole died. So Lena went to the local paper to put a notice in the obituaries. The gentleman at the counter, after offering his condolences, asked Lena what she would like to say about Ole.

    Lena replied, "You yust put 'Ole died'."

    The gentleman, somewhat perplexed, said, "That's it? Just 'Ole died?' Surely, there must be something more you'd like to say about Ole. If its money you're concerned about, the first five words are free. We must say something more."

    So Lena pondered for a few minutes and finally said, "O.K. You put 'Ole died. Boat for sale.' "

  25. #25
    Squirrel solveg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Twin Cities, MN
    My Bikes
    07 Rivendell Atlantis, 80's Mondonico, 91 Cinelli ATB, 83 Schwinn Peleton, 94 Scott Cheyenne, 97 Klein Stage Comp, 81 SR Touring Bike, 80's CCM, 84 Bridgestone 200
    Posts
    4,917
    Mentioned
    0 Post(s)
    Tagged
    0 Thread(s)
    Yay, Tom!

Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •